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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How much does my BS hurt? ...
two2muchpain
♀ Member
Member # 29306
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, July 9th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can someone please tell me how to email this to my husband? I don't see any prompt to click on or am I just blind? In layman terms please, I'm very technologically challenged.
You can PM me if you prefer.

[This message edited by two2muchpain at 4:18 PM, July 9th (Monday)]


Me:49,at time of A
H: 47,at time of A
M: 23 yrs.
OW:27 at time of A
Admitted to EA and other things: 6/16/10
PA (one night stand,sexting and more: 7/15/10
S:19, SS: 30, SD: 26
R: Currently trying to work it out.

Posts: 196 | Registered: Aug 2010
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, July 9th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since its an active thread you should be able to send him the link directly to it.


~L2HM~
Every Storm Runs out of Rain ~ Gary Allen

Posts: 5468 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Red  Posted: 4:25 PM, July 9th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

two2muchpain...

Please be aware that if you send him this link...your username will show up inquiring about it. So if you don't want him to know you're here or your username, I would caution on you emailing him a link.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 191826 | Registered: May 2002
lynnm1947
♀ Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, July 10th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Copy it and paste it into an e-mail to him.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 6926 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
osca
♀ Member
Member # 35628
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, July 10th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

... incredible letter.

I hurt so much I often am sad that I wake up still breathing, as my wish when I fall asleep never comes true.

I hurt so much that it paralyzes me from living my life, from feeling anything but the pain and the betrayal.

I hurt so much that I can't live with or without the person who has raped my soul.


Me: BS 32
Him: WS 36
Kids: 3 yr Son
Complication: Expats living abroad
Married: 03/2006, together since 2003
Dday: April 7th 2012, 6 months emotional, 3 months physical
OW: 35, his first gf, daughter of a prostitute (no really!) Apple >> Tree

Posts: 266 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Europe
remorsecode
♂ New Member
Member # 35734
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, July 10th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for posting this powerful letter. Makes my chest ache to realize how much I've hurt my wife and how she longs for my understanding of that pain - and makes me worry I am not doing enough. Which is a good thing cause it is revealing in a positive way (makes me want to fight harder for us).


I am a male WS; M 6yrs; son 3yrs; A 6 months; DD May 2012

Posts: 16 | Registered: Jun 2012
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, August 12th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6030 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
lostone209
♂ Member
Member # 36308
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, August 12th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the bump. A lot of the first letter sounds very familiar to me.


me: WH 32
her: BW 29
M 9 years, together 14 years
D-Day: January 2012

Posts: 67 | Registered: Jul 2012
LoveHerStill
♂ Member
Member # 31504
Default  Posted: 4:08 AM, August 13th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The shattering raw searing pain was unrelenting for months and months.

I could not believe that I could feel such intense, long-lasting emotion and actually live through it.

A literal living hell for months and months. How was she capable of inflicting such excruciating pain on someone she once cared for?

I do not wish that pain on my worst enemy.

I now trust only in God.


Me BH-45
Her WW-44
Married-20yrs
Together-26yrs
D-Day 4/11/10
Divorced 9/13/2010
XWW Married OM 5/23/2011

There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.


Posts: 438 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Seattle, WA
momxgbg
♀ Member
Member # 35350
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, August 16th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Dday - Jan. 22, 2012
Dday #2 - Apr. 01, 2012 (found out he was still in contact with OW...WHILE we were in MC)
married 17 years
me - bs - 38yrs
him - ws - 36yrs - EA/PA
DD - 15
DS - forever 12 - earned his angel wings 24Nov2013
DD - 10

Posts: 285 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Virginia
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me43 Him 43 Hardlessons DS 24,22,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth”
― Pema Chödrön

Posts: 3663 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
mindful
Member
Member # 36880
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, October 11th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for posting that.

For weeks I have been trying to communicate that to my H.

the A has lots its power over me and I feel really ready to heal with him its 14 months since R started.

And I have told him this.

I read both letters to him and explained their source his response was interesting.

I said I was reading them to help him understand why I have mixed days as that throws him.

He said the letters were understandable and it was understandable that I feel that.

I asked him how they made him feel.

He said 'dare I say it I think you want to see great remorse from me like you want a pint of blood from me.

So I calmly explained that I need to know he feels something in himself regarding what it did to me that means he could never do this again.

That it hurts something in him to hear those words.

He also said he knows it would be easier for me if he could show remorse so I am hoping the letters may help us.

Thank you so much for your courage.


Posts: 161 | Registered: Sep 2012
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, October 15th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for a newbie.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2480 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, October 30th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"You can do it!" - R. Schneider


Posts: 5435 | Registered: Nov 2011
empresslingpha
♀ Member
Member # 36687
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, October 30th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know this post has been up for a long time, but as a relatively new member this is the first time I saw it. It moved me to tears because that's exactly what I want to say to my WH. Thank you so much for posting.

Posts: 51 | Registered: Sep 2012
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2480 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
She-Ra
♀ Member
Member # 36033
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, January 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

another one that needed to be bumped...


FWW 33 BH 33
Met 8 yrs ago, together for 6, married for 3
Dday Aug 10, 2012
Beautiful baby daughter born June 2013
Now in limbo.. I'm allowed to have deal breakers too

The WW formerly known as messedupchick


Posts: 735 | Registered: Jul 2012
evephoebe1
♀ Member
Member # 36923
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, January 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This agony will stop when I draw my last breath. Only then will I find serenity.

Until then, my body painfully awakens to face another day of endless, inner mind games.

Has he cleverly taken his affair(s) underground? Is he truly remorseful or is he simply an articulate manipulator who's enjoying the power he has over me?

Why has my world crumbled so completely, leaving a bleeding gash in my soul that will never heal?
Why has my "being" my "identity" been ripped out of me so savagely, so as to leave behind a shell of my former self?

Now, I'm a person whose entire existence revolves around levels and intensity of pain that I must mask from the rest of the world.

My WH becomes impatient with my lack of progress. He cannot understand why I'm not moving forward faster.

How can I make him understand that my soul is dying? That it wants to give up its' own fight for survival because it hurts too much to face the rest of my life like this.

[This message edited by evephoebe1 at 4:25 PM, January 12th (Saturday)]


Me: Survivor! BS (47)
Him: WH (45)
2 kids, 13 & 16
Married 15 yrs, together 20.
2 yr LTA, probably many more affairs, ONS. D-Day June 1, 2012. Then, physical abuse began.
WH's been seeking attention from other women thru our whole marriage

Posts: 61 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: evephoebe1
SandAway
♀ Member
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

another bump


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 403 | Registered: Dec 2012
allouttagas
♂ Member
Member # 26380
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The best post I have ever read on SI. Thanks, I needed it.


BS: 44 - Me
WW: 35
Married in '98
D-Day #1: 2-20-2009
D-Day #2: 4-25-2009
D-Day #3: 6-19-2010
D-Day #4: 9-11-12
D-Day #5: 9-13-12
D-Day #6: 9-15-12
Status: Tryin to "Re-reconcile" but barely hangin on.
Children: Four total

Posts: 138 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 145
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