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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, February 6th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coming back to Harlowe: there is always something that is inferior about the OW. Inferior to the WS that is, and chosen by the WS so that he can feel superior. Often it's simply the OW's lack of any real self-esteem and the placement therefore of the WS on a pedestal.

The WS needs to look down, not up. If he wanted to look up, he'd look at you. If you get my drift.


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
2yrs+recovering
♀ Member
Member # 31582
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, February 6th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At 3 yr antiversary and this still is what the BS needs to hear. Thank you for keeping this thread alive!!!


BS (me)59 FWH 71
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

Posts: 560 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: New Jersey
MammaMia
♀ Member
Member # 34030
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, February 6th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Eddie:

Amen!!!! true words. Thanks for telling the truth to the world.


And once the storm is over, you wonít remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wonít be the same person who walked in. Thatís what this stormís all about.Ē

Posts: 812 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Somewhere in the South
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, February 18th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
the_goat
♂ New Member
Member # 33916
DOH!  Posted: 3:56 PM, February 20th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this thread deserves a good bump!


Her--WW, OM a coworker. Both got fired for it
Me--BH
I love my wife, but I don't know if I can continue like this...

Posts: 19 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: NC
Fathful123
♀ Member
Member # 34867
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, February 20th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so true!!! The OW/AP is quite unattractive. Her husband even said as much. My WS really went to the dog shed for her.


DDay-7/11/2011
Me(51)
WS(54)with ED!!!!
OW- 49, big manly looking, Amazon looking Ho ; works with federal government but in different state
Several EAs and one oovoo recorded masturbation chat!
We have been Married 18 years
3 kids youngest 17

Posts: 78 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Northern Virginia
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, February 20th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 1 baby
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bitchboots

Posts: 907 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
jasonguitarboy
♂ Member
Member # 22939
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, February 24th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The other man in our situation was a trade up in my opinion. ME-5'9" 230lbs (overweight) him, 6'3" dark skin, very muscular (could bench 401).
Yeah, did wonders for my self image.


What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.....right?
"And there's a change, that even with regret, cannot be undone."
"No one plans to take the path that leads us lower..."
Me-BS 35
Her-WS 32 (surviving1979)

Posts: 185 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: nowhere
standinghere
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Default  Posted: 4:22 AM, February 25th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really, they always do.

Superficially it may not look like it. The other person may be ___________ have bigger ________ or more _________ (fill in the blanks with anything you want). But, they are still "the other" not "the one" in all but a few cases.

I think most of us worry that they may be "the one" and we are "the mistake". But almost always they are "the mistake".

My wife had the affair. The OM was in her own words, after she got to know him "dumb" and they had "nothing to talk about".

4 years later, me still not knowing about the affair, I was in a bank one afternoon, to get some paperwork taken care of, and the young woman, attractive physically, very friendly, half my wife's age as well as mine, was very accommodating and made sure to kneel down in front of me in her skirt and low cut blouse to go through the papers (I was sitting in a chair...I doubt she wanted to show me her cleavage...it was probably all just business).

I was sex starved at home, a residual of my wife's affair was an aversion to sex which had been there to some degree before the affair as well, but I knew that I didn't want to hurt my wife and kids...and I knew that the nice young lady at her best couldn't hold a candle to my wife even on her below average days.

My wife asked me why I stayed with her through the years, I told her the truth. I had dated taller women, thinner women, and younger women, but I had been bored with all but one other person till I met her.

I'm not trading down.


BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 894 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, March 1st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
shattered123
♀ Member
Member # 27843
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump

Posts: 2590 | Registered: Mar 2010
BetrayalHurts
♀ Member
Member # 34836
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this....thank you so much. The only thing my WH's OW had over me was she was 25 years younger..she definitely was not prettier or have a better figure and her personality was awful...and she was lazy to top it all off....this I know from working with her.

To make a long story short...your post has made my day!!!!


M 25 years
BW Me - 50's
WH Him - 60's
OW 25 years younger
D-Days too numerous to mention last D-day being 12-2-11 *OW went on fishing trip 5-21-13*

"A relationship is only made for two, but some bitches don't know how to count"


Posts: 341 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Colorado
Offhispedestal
♀ Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

T H A N K Y O U!!!!!!


ME-43
WH-45
Married 23


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 623 | Registered: Jun 2011
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He ended up with OW cause I stopped letting him cake eat. He is still blaming me and has said he waited 40 years to find her and be with her. I can't help but laugh, she buys it. If she were that important, nothing I said or did would have kept him in our marriage. He would have left and stayed gone. He didn't and he proves his own position every day. He said he couldn't leave me cause I would take the house, I gave him the house in the divorce and now it is in foreclosure cause he hasn't made the payment, guess it wasn't that important after all so why did he stay for 3 plus extra years? Cause he affaired down and he knew it then and he lives with it now!!


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 11
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1475 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
PeaceLove187
♀ Member
Member # 33559
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In a weak moment of obsessing, I Googled the AP's fiance. I still can't find his contact information but did see that his mother passed away in August. That struck home because my H and the AP declared "soulmate" status shortly after his mother's nearly fatal stint in the ICU. So while my H's mother was deathly ill, I was ignoring my work and staying by his side, being as supportive as I could possibly be. While her fiance was mourning the death of his mother, the AP was desperately fighting to keep her A alive.

Yep, I'd say my H affaired down.


BW--Me, 57
FWH--Him, 58
Married 34 years
Empty Nesters

Posts: 612 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
sandy78
♀ Member
Member # 34958
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I became suspicious of the A I ended up searching for the OW on facebook...when I saw her picture I kind of laughed at myself because she didn't seem very attractive. I told myself I was being silly, he would never go for someone that looked like her. Ugh.


Me: 34
WH: 35
DS: Born 11/2011
D-Day: 2/26/2012
Divorcing...

If someone wants to be with you, there's nothing you can do to make them go. If someone doesn't want to be with you, there's nothing you can do to make them stay.


Posts: 79 | Registered: Feb 2012
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

THANK YOU!

I didn't read all of the replies but the original post is amazing.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 944 | Registered: Mar 2012
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, March 13th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, March 14th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping to top

Posts: 7271 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
Mormegil
♂ New Member
Member # 34841
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, March 14th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, for me it sucked to read this...basically the OW described here is my WW. Her self esteem IS really low and in the middle of a MLC =\ She is however very physically attractive, especially for her age.

[This message edited by Mormegil at 6:29 PM, March 14th (Wednesday)]


Me: BH 38
xWW 37
DD 10.18.2011
DD (full truth) 1.25.2012
daughter, 11 yrs old
Divorce very nearly finalized

Posts: 50 | Registered: Feb 2012
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