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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
lostmymarbles
♀ Member
Member # 21246
Default  Posted: 1:19 AM, September 27th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ok
well i tried to work out why her?

yes she is pretty-slimmer than me-but different than me.
she has also been married 4 times and to the best of my knowledge told my ws she had had 3 affairs prior to him!like she should get a medal for it!
why would you be so stupid to think thta's a good thing to tell someone?
She was also not the brightest bulb in the box!

Me-I am younger than her-naturally blonde still at 45,have never dyed my hair-and i'm not a dumb blonde either :)Now I'm average size (thanks to not wanting to eat) but I wasn't that big to start with.I now it doesn't matter about looks now.

WS did say that he did feel superior to her-it was another dawning realization this weekend when we discussed her character-he admitted he just noticed these flaws initially but brushed them aside-

I feel we are getting somewhere that he admits she wasn't as marvelous as once thought!

He definitely affaired down


3 strikes and you're out

Posts: 165 | Registered: Oct 2008
Ellejay
♀ Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, September 27th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also thought today that if the OW(plural) were lesser than me in the eyes of my stbxh than I guess the same applies to him in the eyes of the OW who were cheating on their H's?

I don't think that side of it has occurred to him yet.

Ellejay


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:01 AM, September 27th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep Ellejay. They both affaired down. He affaired down with because she was easy meat, a guarantee through their previous history, someone who felt entitled and didnít give a shit about anyone but herself. She could never measure up to me. She affaired down with WH because he was a man willing to cheat on his wife, a man who had no morals about fucking another manís wife and who paid for it all on expenses.

They always affair down because decent people donít have affairs.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3470 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
shocked4
♀ Member
Member # 33447
Default  Posted: 5:20 AM, September 27th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much. At first I obsessed about what they looked like (imagination only). Then I found one weighed more than me and the other is 12 years older. I was shocked at that one. I had just assumed they were better than me. I still struggle with this so thank you.


D-Day August 17, 2011
M-23 years
4 children ages 10-23

Posts: 136 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Ohio
whyreally
Member
Member # 33292
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, September 27th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate that she is younger (22) I hate that she is skinny... though I am too...

but... she knows about me... she knows about my kids... so obviously she is ok with a deadbeat dad and a deadbeat husband... I agree she accepts him at his worse.. which I WILL Not do... I deserve better!


ME 30
WH 31
5 young kid

been together 13 years.
Dday: 2 many 2 count
Needing the support to go through with the divorce that I need to have


Posts: 170 | Registered: Sep 2011
Hurt To The Core
♀ New Member
Member # 33510
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, October 3rd (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you!!!! Although I am 4 months out I still compare myself to her. I might have to keep rereading this post.


BS - 36
WH - 37
2 Beautiful Children - 5 (boy) and 4 (girl)
DDay - Found Chat on March 30, 2011 (my gut told me at that time they slept together) He finally admitted to the affair in full detail on May 24, 2011.
Status - Workinging on R, it'

Posts: 24 | Registered: Oct 2011
surviving101
♂ Member
Member # 33181
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, October 3rd (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is probably the post that helped me the most in my darkest hour.

Thank you!


"I don't want to spoil the rest of your movie... but at the end everything will be all right."

Posts: 461 | Registered: Aug 2011
cobraadvice
♀ Member
Member # 32452
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, October 3rd (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too, thank you! I am 4 1/2 months out from D-Day and agree they affair down. I think to make themselves feel better. The only thing my WH AP has is a Dentist for a husband so a much bigger home, more toys, expensive cars and more money.... I laugh thinking that she thought my WH could leave me and give her this? Not after his huge alimony and he is in construction, we barely make ends meet and I am happy with what I have :)


Me 50, WH 50
OW 52, looks older and fake, not worth a 2nd look.
Married 24 years, together 27 years
3 sons,
DDay May 2011
DDay#2 Oct 2011,
Separated for a month, asked to move home, in R and it has its ups and downs but it is now more limbo

Posts: 203 | Registered: Jun 2011
Ellejay
♀ Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, October 12th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night my 13 year old DD said to me (and she was laughing at the time). "Mum, I'm not just saying this, but I found some pictures on Dad's cell phone the other day of OW2. They were normal pictures, nothing bad. BUT......God she's ugly!! Don't tell Dad I said that though because I don't want to hurt his feelings".

I didn't have the heart to tell her that it really isn't anything about looks, it's about finding someone with the same low morals as he has. I won't destroy her image of her Dad though. I'm sure she'll come to that realisation in her own time, in her own way.


Ellejay


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
isthisforreal
♀ Member
Member # 30926
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, October 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If only we could share photos of these pathetic AP here. I showed a picture of FWH's blowjob biker bitch, to my BAN friends (beyond affairs network), they were horrified. There was an audible gasp and then "Oh my god, she looks like Cruella de Ville!"

[This message edited by isthisforreal at 9:32 AM, October 13th (Thursday)]


BW me 47
WH him 52
married 24 years
DD 9/15/10
3 incredible teenage daughters
"it only hurts when I breathe"

Posts: 254 | Registered: Jan 2011
npain
♀ Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, October 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was just the post I needed to lift my spirits today. The OW was 11 years younger than me and thinner, but I agree, they definitely affair down. Cause no "real" woman would stoop to that level. There's a reason they were just sleeping with them and married to us, isn't there? N ot every ho you can bring home to momma...


S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!

Posts: 512 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
emotiona hell
♀ Member
Member # 31781
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, October 13th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't have the heart to tell her that it really isn't anything about looks, it's about finding someone with the same low morals as he has.

Ellejay, WEll said
( how do you do the quotes)

[This message edited by emotiona hell at 11:04 PM, October 13th (Thursday)]



Me BS 41
WH 43
DS 12 DD 21
Married 23 years
DDay 6/26/10
Filed for divorce 11/23/11

Posts: 218 | Registered: Apr 2011
life4
♀ Member
Member # 33399
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, October 20th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love, love love this! Thank you sooooo much! Wish I read this 5 months ago!

Posts: 67 | Registered: Sep 2011
bellamaxjoy
♀ New Member
Member # 32927
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, October 21st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this was a gift to me this morning. I know in my heart he affaired down, but my insecurities take over and I think, I need to be thinner, prettier, better sex, understanding,.,,,,agggggg
I know that I am much better looking that she, but she is skinny, and I am not heavy but not skinny. I am 5 months out and still needed this.

Posts: 31 | Registered: Jul 2011
LvIsaLonelyRd
♀ New Member
Member # 33630
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, October 21st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautifully stated and all so very true! Thank you for this post, it is highly up-lifting!

Posts: 9 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: East Coast
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 6:29 AM, October 24th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5123 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
SusanR
♀ Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, October 24th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the all time great posts on SI! Bump. Bump. Bump.

Helped mr tremendously in the early going when my self-esteem was rocked.

Many thanks!


Posts: 1952 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, October 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For StrgrThanIThght.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
StrgrThanIThght
♀ Member
Member # 33634
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, October 28th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, what a great post. In my sitch, the MOW was the predator, and my WS was the weakest in the herd at her workplace. She picked him off by stroking his ego on a daily basis.

I found out from her BS that she was married before, and cheated on her first husband the same way. A fact, BTW, she neglected to tell my WS. He thought he knew her so well. So well, in fact that he destroyed a two-decade relationship with me. Ain't that a slap in the face for him?


Me - BW (40)
Him - FWH (43) (he has earned the "capital" F)
D-Day - Sept 2011
Us: Working concurrently on ourselves and R

Posts: 391 | Registered: Oct 2011
GK109
♀ Member
Member # 33680
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, October 29th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post!!!

Posts: 64 | Registered: Oct 2011
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