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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 1:17 AM, May 28th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
Rise_Above
♀ Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, June 6th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
Junebug0525
♀ Member
Member # 29142
Default  Posted: 12:50 AM, June 6th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can read this over and over. I love it!


Me: BS
Him: WXH DDay-11/22/2009~ D~ 10/25/10
OWhore: Co-worker (7 years younger)
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." AND THEY DID!!!

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Maryland
WarInside
♂ Member
Member # 31736
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, June 6th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's a lot of truth to what is written here... but as the BS of a WW who cheated with another married man, it's still hard to read.


31-year-old X-BH
29-year-old X-WW

D-Day in October 2010.

Separated In August 2011.

Divorced in March 2012.

Happy again.


Posts: 308 | Registered: Apr 2011
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, June 13th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, June 15th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
jadedheart
♀ Member
Member # 32046
Default  Posted: 5:37 AM, June 16th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AMEN AMEN AMEN! DBB you are so wise! Thank you for sharing such an awesome post! You have touched many with your words!


Me 45
FWH 47
DS11, DD18, DS21(they know nothing about A)
Married 23 years together 25
Dday 09/24/2010
"You can't control how others behave, you can only control your reaction."

Posts: 980 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Indiana
LionessQn76
♀ Member
Member # 32366
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, June 16th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW JUST WOW

that is the most empowering speech I have read. thank you girl for this!


Only the strong survives!

Posts: 424 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: New York City
forever.haunted
♀ Member
Member # 28645
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, June 16th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amen! OW is not at all on my level. H KNOWS he affaired WAY down and is very ashamed.

And in the end, after H threw OW under the bus, she knew for a fact that she was the "back of the pack"


You let it go when you are ready.. when you have processed it enough.. you let it go when you are sick of trying to figure it out. You let it go when you want your life back

Posts: 1319 | Registered: May 2010
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, June 21st (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for sad, sad husband


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5019 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
phoenix34
♀ Member
Member # 32007
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, June 21st (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Remind me to read this whenever I feel rubbish about myself!


May 2014 - haven't needed to log on for over two years now!

Posts: 51 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: UK
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 1:07 AM, June 23rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
Rise_Above
♀ Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, June 30th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
rockbottom2468
♀ Member
Member # 32496
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, June 30th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After learning more about the OW....I need a *like* button for this post.


Me: BS-29
Him: XH-33
Dday: June 2011
Together: 13 years
Children: DD(8), DS (6), DD2 (8 months)
Status: He left for 20yo OW.

"Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger"


Posts: 1058 | Registered: Jun 2011
notjessie
♀ Member
Member # 32472
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, July 2nd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks to all who bumped this. The original post is great and it does help me to make sense of this--a tiny bit. Or at least gives me another way to look at stuff.


Me 52 BW
Him 54 WH
Married 30+ years
In R, so far

Posts: 53 | Registered: Jun 2011
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, July 2nd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HI

Most often he leaves her where he found her, at the end of the row, at the back of the pack – even weaker and more injured than when he found her. She’s worse for the wear.

Who can imagine Arnie playing house with Patty???

Yeh right

Laura


Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2738 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
keepingcalm
♀ Member
Member # 32623
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, July 4th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So true. I could read this 100 times a day!


ME: 30
WH: 31
Two kids, 2 and 4
DD: April 2011 (he denies)

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jun 2011
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, July 19th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for a newbie.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3441 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
kitkat22
♀ Member
Member # 29877
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, July 19th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read this post before just after D-Day and it helped me so much. After re-reading it now, just as I am approaching my first antiversary, it means sooooo much more and it is all true. He did affair way down, he did toss her aside immediately for me, and he has done everything in his power since to make our marriage whole again. Thank you for this delicious post...I love it.


Vanity Working on a Weak Mind Produces Every Kind of Mischief...Jane Austin

D-Day - September 3, 2010, 5:30 am
Currently in reconciliation and happy.

Married 22 years, together 23


Posts: 416 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: California
fenrustf
♂ New Member
Member # 32683
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, July 19th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's funny... I had this exact conversation with a friend who also had a WW.

In my case my WS betrayed me for another guy who can't be honored with the title of man.

I actually have very little self esteem issues as a result of being betrayed. Without sounding egotistical, I know that I am a great man. I have been a kick ass provider, I'm reasonably good looking, I'm smart and funny, I'm a good father, I stay in shape and I play guitar in a band!

Seriously what woman wouldn't want that?

The OP she was having an affair with is still a boy. He works only 2 hours a day if that and spends the rest of his time playing video games. In short he is the epitome of a douche bag! I still can't wrap my brain around why my WW would throw away all the things I gave to her but I know it has everything to do with her.

I gave her the life she wanted - there was nothing that she was without.

In my case I truly believe that my WW was not ready to grow up and was not happy with her life as a house wife. I can understand to a point about not being satisfied with her daily life but she knew that it was only temporary. She had been staying home to raise our young son but as soon as he started going to school she was going to get another job and become more independant again.

The irony is that we were almost there - she had only a few more months to wait before she would have had what she needed. So close to the end and she got weak. She threw it all away.

But I have not taken a hit to the ego in the process! I must be a rarity. At least I have that going. Now I will have to struggle through a difficult divorce process and adjust to becomming a single father - that's what scares me. But I know I'm strong and I will get through it.

Thanks so much for this topic!


BS: Me (33)
WS: Her (25)
1 kid - 3 1/2 year old boy
DDay - June 22 2011
DDay #2 - July 22 2011 (trippy huh?)
Married 2007
OP: 23, former "friend" and neighbor
Deciding whether to R or D

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Denver, Colorado
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