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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Honey, they always affair down
Rise_Above
♀ Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
reallyhurt0710
♀ New Member
Member # 28367
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i def. needed to hear this thank you so much. but what if i feel i am prettier but he said shes beautiful? does he mean or it is it hes just caught up in the moment?

Posts: 41 | Registered: Apr 2010
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@really hurt.

If he says she's beautiful, then probably that tells you more about him: I call it mean and shallow behaviour to tell you she's beautiful, unless he's qualifying with some discussion on her morals.


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
fairyfriend
♀ Member
Member # 11208
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

reallyhurt,

It likely means he is still very much in the fog. When he comes out of it, his opinion of her will likely change radically.

She won't look very good anymore.

Hugs,

ff


DDay 1--Feb 99
Crappy IC, false R--spring 1999
A ended around April, 2003
DDay 2--September 26, 2004
DDay 3--September 26, 2005 when I found out the REST of the truth
8/8/09--Doing very well due to hard work on my and H's part

Posts: 1607 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: far north Chicago suburbs
phatchance12
♀ Member
Member # 28280
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too just read this and printed it out. Then I handed it to my husband who was sitting across the room. He read it and was smiling towards the end and asked if the author of Not Just Friends wrote it. He is almost finished reading that book.


Me: Faithful Wife.
Him: Who gives a shit, really.
Caught him on Feb 22nd, 2010.
Who the fuck does he think he is changing my life forever without asking me?


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Hell
reallyhurt0710
♀ New Member
Member # 28367
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well i sent him that little part about they affair down and he said he that the more that i tell him i dont know what he saw he says he doesnt know what it was that made him say that he said it was def just him sayin it in the moment to her....??

Posts: 41 | Registered: Apr 2010
Now_No_You
♀ New Member
Member # 28111
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was pure poetry! In my case, OW is ugly, with stringy hair, and a penchant to look at her feet rather than the world in the eye. HOWEVER, he, 3 1/2 months later, he's living with her... another man's wife... and left his own wife and child behind. I suppose she must have something he liked... the weakness maybe? Or the appeal of being with a whore? I can't figure it out right now. I am right back to feeling the pain and betrayal... I love him and despise him at the same time.
But she is weak. She is trash. She is low-class. She is nothing that I am.


BS(Me)- 32
WS- 34 EA and PA with coworker began 11/09
Married 3.5 years
Dated 2.5 years
One Daughter 3 yrs.
D-Day 1-3-10
Currently separated (not legally) I want to work on M. He is not committed, therefore nothing is being done.

Posts: 28 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Mississippi
Mama_of_3_Kids
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, April 25th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My best friend and I can both attest to this statement. We are both nurses, both decent looking (okay, I think she is beautiful) and both of our h's affair'd down. Both went for co-workers (factory/warehouse type jobs). Both OW are uglier than pond scum on the inside and outwardly.

Yes, they do "affair down"...


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11464 | Registered: Dec 2009
Stillpainful
♀ Member
Member # 26281
Default  Posted: 5:30 AM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautifully written.

My WH's OW was young, pretty and a 'go-getter'. But inside she was ugly as sin. And I viewed her as LAZY!! Too lazy to get her own man. Easier to target someone elses knowing she could still be free enough to sleep around when she wanted to. And she did. And WH couldnt complain, he was still with me!

I've not felt inferior to her, how could I?

This is a lovely worded post for those of us who dont know how to put it into words yet. Thank you.


Me BS(46)
Him WH(26)
Together 7yrs
Married 18 months
DD 25th June 2008
Reconciling(doing well so far!)

Depending on yourself in life is essential. Being able to depend on anyone else is a bonus!!


Posts: 118 | Registered: Nov 2009
Chabeli
♀ Member
Member # 25838
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I absolutely agree with this one. WH OW is a total loser!! A few months after DD I come to find out through the internet that she is an ex-con who was arrested after being caught at Miami International with a bunch of drugs. She is a former stripper who was sexually abused and got pregnant at the age of 14. She now lives with WH and beats him everytime they fight.

Posts: 477 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: New York
phatchance12
♀ Member
Member # 28280
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw a pic of the OW on my husbands cell phone. Long red straggly hair, homely as fuck. I mean homely. Then he tells me the other night she has only a few front teeth on top cause the rest are rotted out with a black line on her gums ue to being a crack whore.
WTF??
You are not kidding, they affair down alright.
I'd do anything to find her husband.


Me: Faithful Wife.
Him: Who gives a shit, really.
Caught him on Feb 22nd, 2010.
Who the fuck does he think he is changing my life forever without asking me?


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Hell
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely fantastic post. I hope it's ok but I just had to copy it to the LTA forum. Thanks, dbb, so much for taking the time to write this amazing post.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
makingit5683
♀ New Member
Member # 28315
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are so right. My friend just told me on Friday that the OW is everything WS would not accept in me.


BS/44-me
WS/47
D-Day 10/06/07
D-Day 6/28/08
D-Day 2/6/09
D-Day 3/26/10
kids 18 and 15
Married 22years and together 30 years.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Georgia
shattered123
♀ Member
Member # 27843
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this, thank you so much. WH told me that Skank is my exact opposite. Nice to hear, as you are right, the self esteem takes a major hit.

Posts: 2590 | Registered: Mar 2010
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to constantly remind myself of this, because a lot of times, I find myself jealous of her... I know that is so awful, but it's true. She is much prettier than me. I just have to remind myself that inside, she is an ugly, awful human being and there is nothing to be jealous of.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2058 | Registered: Feb 2010
AttemptStrength
♀ Member
Member # 27947
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm gonna screen shot the OP and have it as a desk top image for my bad days.


BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.


Posts: 1991 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Wisconsin
betrayed1012
♂ Member
Member # 26112
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, April 26th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course they affair down. They are defective and flawed individuals looking for acceptance and validation. Since infidelity is an addictive behavior just like alcoholism and drug addiction they all behave the same way. An addict or an alcoholic will drop down on the socio-economic scale and hang out with people they would have never associated with normally to get a drink or their drugs. Same is true of infidelity. Who is going to more readily accept behavior such as cheating, people of high morals? No. The people who will accept these flawed individuals are people who are worse than they are. That is who they look for validation and acceptance from, the bottom tier.


BS 52
WW 41
Dday 10/12/09
Filed Divorce Complaint 2/1/10
Together 18 year
M 14 years
Children: 11 & 7

Divorced 10/14/10


Posts: 1010 | Registered: Nov 2009
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, May 24th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for newbies.


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
DaniGirl
♀ Member
Member # 28436
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, May 24th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow you made my day!


Me:BW (35)Him: WH(36) 3boys 8,5,1
Married 13 Years False R- Now Divorced!!He's with Skank #3 a "dancer"
Read my story "Merry Christmas, Douchebag"
http://www.amazon.com/Merry-Christmas-Douchebag-ebook/dp/B006OIA2IW/ref=sr_1_1?

Posts: 346 | Registered: May 2010
nolight228
♀ Member
Member # 28425
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, May 24th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DBB..

Thank you so much for your post. It was spot on.. my self esteem plummeted when I found out about the affair...the OW has a perfect shell.. perfect teeth, flawless makeup and the best boobs money can buy.. buy that's all it is.. A SHELL. She has no substance.. she has no integrity or morals...

My WSO certainly did affair down. It's been an awful week for me and this post is exactly what I needed to cheer me up... Thank you!


ME - BSO 29
HIM- WSO 34
Together 3yrs, Engaged for 2 yr
D-DAY 4/6/10

FINALLY!! It looks like we have a fighting chance...


Posts: 65 | Registered: May 2010 | From: The Twilight Zone
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