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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Things that every WS needs to know
NoTriangles
♀ Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, January 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
SandAway
♀ Member
Member # 37775
What?  Posted: 2:50 PM, February 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping from page 10


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 439 | Registered: Dec 2012
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, March 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17890 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
uncertainone
♀ Member
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, March 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a great post.

It's also very important that every WS know that if they do the work and fix the thought processes and patterns to become safe people it will be ok whether the relationship works out or not.

Hell, that's something EVERYONE needs to know.


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
hurting7897
♀ Member
Member # 34761
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, March 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES!!! APPLAUSE HERE!!! I am a BS a little over a year out from d-day #1 and approaching the anti-versaries of d-days #2 and 3, and I just printed this out for me FWH to read. He is doing "everything" but sometimes it still doesn't seem like he really is. Even my IC asked me, "what do you need from your H?" and sometimes I'm dumbfounded and can't answer. I know he's doing everything he can, but then after reading this, it explained truly what "do everything he can" really is.

I am one of the "lucky" ones who's FWH truly "gets" it. We may just make it after all, and this post will help us get there.

Thank you again.


Married 20 years
Me-BS-51
Him-FWH-46 "healing4us2"
2 kids, DD 12 and DS 16
D-day #1 Jan. 30,2012
D-day #2 April 12, 2012
D-day #3 April 15, 2012
June 24, 2012--Decided to R.
January 21, 2014-Forgave him! Life is sweet!

Posts: 226 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: united states
pizzalover
♀ Member
Member # 38336
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, March 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post! I plan on utilizing this with my BH. It helps me to understand what he's going through.


Trying to rebuild each day

Me - WW 39
Him - BH 40 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats

Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09


Posts: 493 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
truetou
♀ Member
Member # 22809
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, March 23rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Best info I've read in a long time...wish WS would read it and apply it...

maybe I'll print it and put it in his birthday card this year...dday was on his birthday...6 years ago ..he still doesn't get it!!!


Posts: 184 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: canada
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17890 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Lowlow
♀ Member
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, March 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (LTA EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years
Reconciling

Posts: 237 | Registered: Mar 2013
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9835 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
SurprisinglyOkay
♀ Member
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, May 9th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


FWS me 36 (recovering addict)
BS him 39 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
2 children


"Your secrets keep you sick"


Posts: 1134 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
BrokenBill
♂ New Member
Member # 39227
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, that would be everything my wife is not doing to fix her mess!

Thank you for a truly great post here.


The opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Indifference.

Me - Betrayed Spouse - Age:43
Her - Serial Adulterer Wife - Age:38
Affair partners - 3 in 16 months (+2 more unconfirmed)

D-Day 18 March 2013
Together 8 Years, Married 6 Years


Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Canada
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump - and printing out for WH to read. At least i hope so.


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
TT until 9/02/13
NC broken 4/15/14
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
9/14 - getting better. we


Posts: 217 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, May 19th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17890 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, June 13th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7827 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17890 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is perfect! WS is being wonderful but I have often wished he could get in my brain and understand and this is as close as it gets. Of course he's not much of a reader and reads sloooow so I had to get the highlighter out.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
stilllovinghim
♀ Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Pouring Rain.


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
PreggoBS
♀ New Member
Member # 39622
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for this post. This was my WH's response after reading this it:

Thanks. I just read it but have to go see [a friend]now. I know I've done or said all of those things (or at least felt them, but I think I've said them too) but maybe not enough? This is a good reminder. I'm not sure if I've told you how thankful I am that you haven't killed me in my sleep. Seriously, my world would end without you and even though what I did was so awful here you are. Like I told your mom, you are so amazing. Thank you for loving me that much. It means the world to me.


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Oregon
Topic Posts: 412
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