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Newest Member: Basia52 (45745)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Things that every WS needs to know
hopefulforlife
♀ Member
Member # 33645
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, February 3rd (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Bump... for all new people.

I wish I had read this earlier... I wish I had understood all this earlier...


Learn from mistakes and keep working on self as there is no end to learning and improving!!

Posts: 85 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: India
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, February 5th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump for JudgedByMyCover


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6103 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
GullibleGirl
♀ Member
Member # 33580
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, February 21st (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Lud22. Hope this helps!


Me-FWW-48 He-BH-51 Separated
No kids/M 25yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11
'You & I go hard at each other like we're going to war...You & I go rough-we keep throwing things & slamming the doors'-M5

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: The third loop of the bowels of Hell
hurting7897
♀ Member
Member # 34761
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, February 21st (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW!!!! I can't say "thank you" enough for this amazing post!! I printed it out to show my WS. It's only been 3 weeks since I discovered his ONC and subsequent betrayal, and I find him getting annoyed that I'm not "over it" yet. He's remorseful, he says over and over how sorry he is, etc., but just yesterday I looked at his phone records and found out he lied about the texts to and from the OW. He was furious with me. Reading this makes me realize why we're not getting anywhere. He may be sorry, he may be wanting R more than anything, but he's not doing enough to rebuild my trust.

Thank you so so much again. You have truly helped me so much.


Married 20 years
Me-BS-51
Him-FWH-46 "healing4us2"
2 kids, DD 12 and DS 16
D-day #1 Jan. 30,2012
D-day #2 April 12, 2012
D-day #3 April 15, 2012
June 24, 2012--Decided to R.
January 21, 2014-Forgave him! Life is sweet!

Posts: 226 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: united states
BrokenLadyInMs
♀ Member
Member # 34897
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, February 28th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurting7897, I hear where you are coming from. Sounds like he IS sorry - sorry he got caught.

I know the feeling. Hang in there, today's dust and tomorrow is on the way.


Me 56 WSO (Significant Other)58
Together 26 years
Living together 6 years
DDay 5/13/11
In R, but could be better
"How can a love that'll last forever get left so far behind?"

Posts: 68 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Mississippi
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, March 7th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3921 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Fathful123
♀ Member
Member # 34867
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, March 8th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you! My FWH is away on a business trip. I just emailed it to him and asked him to read it before he comes home.
This hits on sooo many areas. Very good.


DDay-7/11/2011
Me(51)
WS(54)with ED!!!!
OW- 49, big manly looking, Amazon looking Ho ; works with federal government but in different state
Several EAs and one oovoo recorded masturbation chat!
We have been Married 18 years
3 kids youngest 17

Posts: 78 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Northern Virginia
Nightfall
♀ Member
Member # 34954
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, March 12th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Made me cry :( Thanks for this, have sent it on to WH.


me-BS 28
him-fWS 38
Together: 8 years Married: 4 years
D Day 1: June 2007 First A
D Day 2: July 2011 LTA of 2 years
In R

Posts: 80 | Registered: Feb 2012
hardlessons
♂ Member
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, March 12th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for reposting this. It is helping to let me know what/how to respond and do. I recognize the steps my wife tried with me. Hopefully she is more receptive than i was.


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, March 12th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6103 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
GullibleGirl
♀ Member
Member # 33580
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, March 16th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumped for Hugemistake.


Me-FWW-48 He-BH-51 Separated
No kids/M 25yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11
'You & I go hard at each other like we're going to war...You & I go rough-we keep throwing things & slamming the doors'-M5

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: The third loop of the bowels of Hell
klynn
♀ Member
Member # 31825
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, March 16th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you! This made me cry...good tears. You "get" it!


Klynn
Me: BW (36)
Him: WH (37)
Married 10 years Together 13 years
2 children 8, 5
D-Day 11.29.10
Trying to R

Posts: 112 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Michigan
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, April 2nd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumped for BUSYBEE1975.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, April 13th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

back to the top


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2407 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
hardlessons
♂ Member
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, May 17th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump it up.

This was/is invaluable to a new WS IMO


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
La Traviata
♀ Member
Member # 14941
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, May 18th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just printed it out and annotated it with lots of underlining and arrows and exclamation points. I changed the title to "GUIDE TO THE CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR NEW TRAVIATA"

I see WH on Sunday and I will give it to him then. I think he'll like it since it addresses a lot of his "why is she doing/feeling/saying this?" frustrations.


me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard


Posts: 186 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: NOVA
NorthernGirl888
♀ Member
Member # 35372
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, May 18th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks for this post.


Me - 36
WH - 42
Together for 20 years and Married for 11

1993- ONS
1994- Prostitute
1997- Pregnant, Suspected ONS
2002- Pregnant, ONS
2008- Hitting on 2 girls on Facebook
2011- Screaming Gut
FEB 2012- Started dealing with All of the above


Posts: 189 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Northern Canada
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, May 30th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumped for NobleCause


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
La Traviata
♀ Member
Member # 14941
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This went over GREAT with WH. It's improved our communication so much. In fact, his therapist asked me to print off a copy for him so he could share it with other patients. He's doing the apologies regularly and it really does help. I think it would be useful to put it in the Healing Library.


me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard


Posts: 186 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: NOVA
mesoSTUPID
♀ Member
Member # 35679
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you to everyone who continued to BUMP this. I sent it to my WH because he's been asking for more information. This is I feel the best piece of this forum I could ever send him for us.


ME (BS): 41 and so stupid!
Him (WH): 43. He's my dragon slayer but my heart wasn't supposed to be slayed!

Posts: 195 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Miami
Topic Posts: 414
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