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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair Thread X V I
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, February 1st (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm actually planning on telling WH that I called OW's BH -- but my plan is to wait a week to see if NC gets broken and if WH tells me about it if it is. For all I know, they aren't really NC at all -- but without evidence to the contrary I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

If figure, if BS's expect WS's to be truthful and own their shit I ought to do the same -- but finding out about NC first is important.

OR -- should I just call her BH with my WH right there? Maybe I should. screw fishing for whether there is NC or not. There is nothing more up front and honest than I'm calling BH now. No surprise, nothing to hide, if he's mad he can throw it out right then and there, etc.

Ugh. WH and OW were so sneaky. I feel the need to be anti-sneaky.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
BetrayedSAHM
♀ Member
Member # 27305
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, February 1st (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

m - i'm in the same predicament. (F)WH believes that MOW's BH already knows about the affair, but I still want to contact him. I want to compare dates, etc., since the affair went on for so long. Also, I want an ally if he finds out on his end that NC is broken.

BUT - I have the same concern re NC. I'm having an ongoing discussion with myself about how sneaky I want to get. There is the need to stay really honest and end all the lies, but there is also the urge to protect my own happiness and not be betrayed again.

grrr...


Me: BW (41); Him: STBXWH (43)
DS(3) & DD(3)
Dday: 1/1/2010
S'd and heading for D.

Posts: 1230 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Ohio
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, February 1st (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AAAGH! I cannot BELIEVE that my husband and my friend of all people would ever, ever put me in a position where I would ever have to do something like this. I could just strangle them both.

Really, my WH ought to do it. Maybe I'll wait until he gets home and ask him to.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, February 1st (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I swear the last week I was feeling good (a new personal record)& now today - smacked in the face by the realization that the threat of the ow will never go away. She transferred precincts but she still lives & works nearby & I just realized that she's still socializing with people from her former precinct. So now - my wh - who's usally at every party - is either going to: a/run in to her; b/ resent me for not going to any parties; or c/ lie to me about going to both the party & running into her!


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, February 1st (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

both of you should be the ones to makes those calls...think about the bh's,...i think it would be easier to take, and this is hard enough, easier if it comes from another bs...and then offer up your spouses for questions...that is the least the spouses can do....whether or not to tell the ws's...is your choice...i can understand the need to know if nc is really in place...but on the flip side...it could very well be in place and now your phone ccall may prompt another phone call from the mow to the ws, just because now its out, they might call for info, a fishing expedition of sorts....so that they can cover their asses so to speak....so i say tell them up front...do not tell them in front of one another...how much and what you tell should be mostly between the bs's....which is a good way to catch something if there is something to catch...and you should be up front with your wh's on that front too....they only need to know that they were notified...some of the particulars are at this point in time none of their business....

i hope i explained myself ok....sometimes i ramble, and when i ramble i scramble....right dip..


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, February 1st (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

both of you should be the ones to makes those calls
didoo



Posts: 2635 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:33 AM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

both of you should be the ones to makes those calls...
Agreed. And without WS present. I sent a letter to MOW’s BH and was very surprised to find out he hadn’t a clue. But I felt it was only fair. I wouldn’t want to have been in that position myself. A case of do as you would be done by. Take your time and do it when you are calm.

I swear the last week I was feeling good (a new personal record)& now today - smacked in the face by the realization that the threat of the ow will never go away.
The roller coaster is going downhill. Ride with it and know that the up can’t be long in coming. As to the socialising, I think your FWS should ask himself if you would be happy with him going to some event with the AP present. Put himself in your shoes and do the right thing. There should be transparency in your relationship now.

to find some resolution, a way to live with so much uncertainity, to be able to let it go..
I can't live with his fucking lies, cover ups and omissions!!! I just KNOW the other shoe is waiting to drop.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3327 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

m33... we are all different so who knows where you will be in 17 months out from dday....

Let me tell you how it feels after 17 months...

I think about it everyday, about 95% of the time is normal. it does not make me want to cry anymore but I can at times. Sometimes a simple picture, a song, a sign, a comment, tv show... it just pops infidelity into my mind. I think briefly about and I just force myself to think of something else. Sometimes, during this brief thought, I might see them having sex, I see my wife enjoying it, I vision me hurting OM, I think the pain I once felt, me bing fooled, me doing things different, acting different, saying different things while R'ing.... I call those thoughts pain. This pain might be comparible to when you are in a car, and someone pulls in front of you after you waited in line for 5 or 10 minutes to get by a construction zone, that damn person not having to wait. It is a 3-4 out of 10 in intensity. It might be the same feeling as you might get when you look at a newspaper picture of a Haitian being pulled from the fallen building... broken arm or legs crying... It is like the color of yellow... warning. It might even feel like after your child lost a game and you see them upset.

Yes, I still have cried... when I let the thoughts of my W's A linger in my mind, and I don't control it...

But overall during the day, I enjoy my day... I might think about it 5% now... I can remember once thinking hurt about every minute of the day..I had no ablity to focus. We are all different. I do know this, It does get better with time.

My relationship with my wife is good right now. We have fun together and talk alot. I have not talked infidelity with her since 12/15/09. I choose to only talk about it here with you fine folks...

Oh well good luck with telling other spouse... I did it... I'm not sure if she knew or not but I think she felt it was coming. She first called me with suspisions...I then did the work to confirm it... I presented the facts to OMW on voice mail.. told her I really didn't think we needed to talk about it anymore. keep it simple, facts only... Peace

[This message edited by trynhard at 11:51 AM, February 2nd (Tuesday)]


Posts: 2635 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
BetrayedSAHM
♀ Member
Member # 27305
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

anyone have a LinkedIn account. I think i found ow's bh there, but cant get details. tried to reister but am not getting a confirmation email. perhaps sahm's arent considered LinkedIn material?


Me: BW (41); Him: STBXWH (43)
DS(3) & DD(3)
Dday: 1/1/2010
S'd and heading for D.

Posts: 1230 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Ohio
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH has said exactly zero about her BH. Amazing. She told me that she thinks he has suspected it.

Ugh. I will do it. I will, I will I will. I wish I'd done it sooner. It's much harder to do it right now, when my WH is so much more loving than he's been in years.

For three years I've been trying to figure out what his major malfunction was -- and they've been a hard three years his closest relative died, we lost two babies, he changed jobs, we had two babies and an unplanned pregnancy (little one who is coming soon) and there was always something to blame the tension on but every time the "problem" was dealt with the tension from him didn't go away and that's when the lightbulb went on.

And it was just a gut feeling. And I didn't expect to find anything, I really thought I was just paranoid and then I didn't even expect it to be her.

I have an appointment to meet with my favorite priest next week -- the one who is about my age and lived the typical college/job/serious girlfriend, etc. life before he became a priest. And he's hard-core too.

And so, so sadly, he said this is what about 90% of the meetings he has with parishioners are about. How horrible.

Anyway, first, contact her BH because I don't want to waste my time or $ at my IC this week or with the priest next week. I have them in place to help with the fallout.

And, yes, I am going to tell my WH. This is a paraphrase of what I'd like to say to him about it:

I called BH. (Then I'll tell WH whether or not BH knew.) I want you to know that I did it for completely self-serving reasons. I have come to the realization, to my surprise, that I am still capable of having a truly happy marriage with you and that I still love you very much.

However, if this ever, ever happens again I will absolutely and immediately divorce you and tell everyone I know the reason for it and there will be nothing you can say or do to change my mind. Nothing else will matter, not the kids, house, finances, social life, reputations, families or even the fact that, yes, you're right, you are my one true love. I'll divorce you despite all of those things because I simply can't live that way.

So, you're a grown man and you'll make your own choices and I don't really have any control over that. But, OW has been a problem married, and if her BH divorces her she'll probably continue to be a problem; but if she wants to stay married to her BH and he knows, then she will be less of a problem.

And THAT is the only action left I haven't yet taken that I can take to discourage this from happening again. If I didn't do it, and you choose to continue this A, I would always hate myself for not having fought for our marriage as hard as I could have.

I'd love to tell you that there was some higher moral purpose, or even that I'm really vindictive and vengeful, but neither is the case. I just simply don't want to lose you and that means making sure your A is NOT "easy" anymore.

I also know that if you're going to leave me for telling her BH then I've actually already lost you and I'd rather know that sooner than later.

Sigh.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Betrayed. You should have no problem contacting BH through linkedin without an account. Put his name followed by LinkedIn into the search engine (worked with google) and he should appear. If he is open, you should be able to click “contact” which might take you to his work email address and/or site. Anyone can join LinkedIn, just put yourself up as a training consultant. You are a mother, after all!

m33, I told FWH a few days after I had sent the letter and was sure it had reached the address. I showed him a copy. There wasn’t much he could say other than it was my choice. I told him too bloody right it was. Then nothing for a few months while BH dug out all the info. He met me a couple of times before confronting his WW with his findings. She went ballistic and texted FWH. Of course she blamed ME and said (drama queen voice) “no more” blub, blub. Awwww. Poor woman. (is that nasty of me?? )

By bringing in the BH, you can both keep an eye on things. Just in case.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3327 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ukgirl:

I can't live with his fucking lies, cover ups and omissions!!! I just KNOW the other shoe is waiting to drop.

this is a terrible torturous way to live....i know i could not...i don't do limbo...i will no longer be married (real married) to liar.....my heart aches for you...i know that pain all too well...


m3: i think you are saying way too much...you may not want to give him a solid commitment as yet, one way or the other...yo may decided that you no longer want to be married to him even after he does it all "right"...and you may decided that you still want to work on the marriage should he screw up....i think you need certain boundaries in place....boundaries that you know are complete dealbreakers...there may be other things that are not necessarily dealbreakers where he may screw up and that is where you need some leeway for yourself...not for him, but for you....what he wants no longer matters right now, only what you need and want...until he fixes as best as he can the damage that this has done to your marriage...after he fixes that, then he can have a voice, but not for one minute before....ic, should be a must as is mc....without guidance it will make it so much more difficult to achieve, not to mention more grief on top of what you are already dealing with...

and keep alot, if not all of the conversation you have with the bh to yourself...all he needs to know is that you contacted him and told him of their relationship..period...


sahm: can't help you on that one, dont know what that is...


tryn: 95% is awesome...

for the rest of this wonderful tribe

((((((((((tribe)))))))))))

and many many more.....lurkers too!!!


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
BetrayedSAHM
♀ Member
Member # 27305
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Urg. Re LinkedIn. I'm not 100% sure that I have the right guy. It's a common name. I'll probably have to hire a damn PI to find this guy. I don't want to send a random guy an email unless I know for sure.

On the upside, I made my husband show me that he set his work laptop software up so that OW can't "chat" with him on his computer. That "chat" capability - on the laptops and on the blackberries - was their primary form of communication.

And I didn't give him any warning or a chance to fix it last-minute. Just sat down tonight and said, "hey, can you show me that you fixed Sametime so that she can't see you." And he did right away.

That's a step in the right direction.


Me: BW (41); Him: STBXWH (43)
DS(3) & DD(3)
Dday: 1/1/2010
S'd and heading for D.

Posts: 1230 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Ohio
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, February 2nd (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sahm: that is really good...no hesitation from him and that he did it....so yay for him and a yay for you...


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, February 3rd (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((IWAM))))))

i hope i explained myself ok....sometimes i ramble, and when i ramble i scramble....

You so crack me up, I just luv your humor! Even in the face of everything, if you can keep your humor, it's one of the signs that you will be ok!! Not to say that your situation isn't hard because it is!!

(((((UKGirl)))))

I can't live with his fucking lies, cover ups and omissions!!! I just KNOW the other shoe is waiting to drop.

What is up with that?!!
Is there some reason that you think he is up to something again?
Glad to hear that you heard from your son and all is well. It's really hard to let our kids go... when my boy moved in with his psycho girlfriend, all I did was cry! Thank the Lord that didn't last long! It does get easier, but it would help if the relationship between you and your H were better... keeping you in my thoughts...

(((((Tryin)))))

So glad that things are going well and that you are moving forward. I am almost 3 years out and once in a blue moon I still think about it... fortunately, we are doing well...

((((((LTA TRIBE))))))

Lovin


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, February 3rd (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

miracle --

you're right. That is saying way too much. I think what I'll say is "I called BH." And if he dares to get mad I'll just tell him he's the one who created this situation and to F off. I *might* just tell OW's pastor since she's the CCD teacher. So disgusting.

She tried to convince me to move to their parish and put my DS in her CCD class. So screwed up. My WH didn't think it was a good idea (and now I know part of the why!)


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, February 3rd (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

m3:
*might* just tell OW's pastor since she's the CCD teacher. So disgusting.

i don't think this is a good idea...for several reasons...first and foremost i think you will regret doing this....never ever do something that can be life altering for you or for someone else in anger....that is the wrong reason to do that....and i speak from first hand experience...ow#2 is a judge in brooklyn, and i even went as far as composing a letter to the dept of justice....but i never sent it...many, many times i struggled with this...more because of the fact that she sits in domestic court and prior to being a judge she was a lawyer whose speciality was marital law...talk about cruel irony....anyways..that is one reason...and it is the biggest...

2nd...even it you don't regret it, you would be stooping to her level...and i know you are better then that..

3rd: you are a great believer in catholosism, and as a catechist as i would tell the children...is that what jesus would do....

sometimes i wonder how jesus was so perfect....he started out as a kid...he had to do some things that someone said "no" too....

anways....think it through, and if after you have pulled it apart and you really believe that she should not teach, then by all means then go to the pastor...but not until then...and thats for your sake...def not her, i don't give a rats ass about women who choose to be the "ow"....

lovin: thanks, i love you too...


small update on the the boy with the clot....according to his last mri...the blood flow is better, and they are hoping to change the blood thinners over to coumadin, and send him home by the end of the week....the clot though will take at least a month to dissolve, and the headache that he suffers will stay with the clot....keep praying


((((tribe))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Lost Heart2
♀ Member
Member # 21793
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tribe.

Telling the OWH:
I would recommend being in a cool and collected frame of mind when you make the call. keep it short and to the point - remember this person is getting a huge shock, so dont lay on too much details. Leave a contact number (NOT your home number) if they want to talk about it further.
And above all, be prepared that they may not react the way you would expect them too.
OWH#1 thought his W was a nice person over whom H took advantage of - he refused to see her the way I, and the rest of the world, saw her.
OWH#2 just couldnt wrap his head around why his W would have an A - he told me how much he loved and cared for her and their DD. I think a part of him continued to believe her version which was that she and H were "just friends".

No matter how high your desire for revenge is, be the better person. Be the person who is holding her head high in the face of all this mess, so 3,5, 10 years from now, your actions wont make you squirm. DO NOT do anything which would compromise you or your safety.

all the best - please make sure you have someone there to hold your hand after. This call is very draining..emotionally and physically.Take care of yourself.

SAHM, install a keylogger on his computer - alleviates a HUGE amount of stress.

M33- I also wouldnt tell OW's pastor. Evil me would just let her live with the fear that you could. LOL.

***
Hey lovin!
Thanks for thinking of me.

***
Miracle,
I am glad the boy is doing better. How scary for the family.

Yes, you are right...I do believe that my needs can not be met in this M and thats prob adding to my sense of disconnection.

Ukg,disconnection is not a healthy way to live...its kind of letting life pass you by without really living it.

I am sorry you are feeling so haunted. Like lovin asked, is it something specific making you feel this way? I hear alot of people's gut feelings - so am wondering if there is something dodgy thats unsettling you? Or is it that you are finding it difficult to accept that the A is truly over and that H is committed to you?
What would you need him to do that he is not doing now?

***

(((((Tribe))))))


LTA BS

Dday#1 02.06.06
Dday#2 28.11.06


Mind what you love. Mind how you are loved.


Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: London, UK
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks. I'm having so much trouble doing it. I might actually have to do it while I'm with my IC tomorrow. Jeesh.

No, I won't tell her pastor. I'm not mean. I've never said a single mean word to my WH or her. I've been firm, but not mean. I want to sometimes, but there is a certain comfort to handling a bad situation with as much grace as possible.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Miracle, thanks for letting us know about the boy. Some good news for his parents.

Betrayed, if you are not sure, ring the company saying you are doing market research and would like to know if this [name] person is the one who you have on your listing as resident in the [wherever] area. If you are not confident enough to do this, it shouldn’t cost too much for a few preliminary enquiries from a PI or a PI company. It’s a very good sign that your H did as you asked without hesitation. It would appear that the fog has lifted!

m33,

I *might* just tell OW's pastor since she's the CCD teacher.
Probably not a good idea. Might get thrown back at you in an unexpected way. Deal with the immediates and any fallout from those. If it’s not absolutely necessary, then don’t.

OWH#1 thought his W was a nice person over whom H took advantage of - he refused to see her the way I, and the rest of the world, saw her.
Ditto. Assigning all blame to the AP or believing they were also to blame is a way of pushing it under the carpet. Works for some, I guess.

Lovin, thanks for your positive vibes. I am missing the boys and facebook isn’t quite the same, even if I can look at the photos, videos and take a walk round queenstown through google earth! DS1 has not fallen off the edge of the planet, DS2 did not get killed in his skydive and DS3 has not died from sunburn/sunstroke.

Is there some reason that you think he is up to something again?
He’s away a lot again. I have no reason to doubt he’s where he says he is and alone – but for five years, believe me, there was no way I could have found out unless she told me. He’s abroad every couple of weeks too and tonight there was “the guy from Stockholm is flying in for a meeting on Friday so I’m staying down until then.” I don’t know who the fuck he’s talking about most of the time. He has his company blackberry with a zillion numbers on it (he never kept MOW in his book, he knew he number off by heart) and his company laptop. He often works from home as he has done for 15yrs, and being international, takes calls, texts and emails at all hours and at the weekend. I refuse to monitor or I would go mad – and so would he. Meanwhile, I’m here seeing to the repair man (washing machine broke down), the builder and the plumber and everything else to do with maintaining a house. He’s very clever, very manipulative and very plausible. And very good at keeping a secret.

Bottom line is that while I trust him now, that’s all it will ever be. The “do I trust him now” rather than it ain’t gonna happen again. He sent her the solicitor’s letter, but he never finished with her. He never actually told her it was over, he gave her platitudes and offers of friendship hoping it would fizzle out. And that was after dday! There is every possibility that she could contact him when she has an excuse, like her mother dying. WH knew her family well. I wonder if he would respond rather than be seen as a hard hearted bastard. kwim?

Trouble is he lied for so long after dday. Never admitted anything until it was put to him. I just gave up. I had the info from OWH two years after and he still wouldn’t come clean until I told him how I knew. It was a conscious decision and I thought I could just move on and start afresh. But I can’t. I found he was lying over stupid stuff over two and years post dday. He’s just a liar. Period. Remember weepy’s WH used to say stuff about things when he wasn’t even at the event? My H does that too, and it’s kind of

Anyways, I’m muttering like a mad woman. Perhaps I should get some xanex or St Johns Wort or something esp as I seem to spend half the night awake at the moment.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 4:03 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3327 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
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