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User Topic: Law Enforcement Officers & Spouses Affected by Infidelity
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, December 6th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tuns out he just got a slap on the wrist. It appears he didn't even get demoted.

What can you do? I guess even though the Chief of Police was extremely sympatheic and kept me informed, he didn't (or couldn't) do much.

Sucks.


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, Kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 462 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
hopeandchange
♂ Member
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, December 10th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

posted on wrong thread.
Peace to all the fine Law Enforcement Officers.
h&c

[This message edited by hopeandchange at 4:39 PM, December 10th (Monday)]


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 401 | Registered: Sep 2011
sportsfan
♂ Member
Member # 9918
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, December 10th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's tough to read, h&c. Here's to you in hoping this holiday season brings you some peace.

Posts: 1915 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From: PA
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, May 4th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did a Freedom of Information request to get the punishment action. As expected, the city denied my request.


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, Kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 462 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
Amberdawn
♀ New Member
Member # 39157
Default  Posted: 5:45 AM, May 10th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just found several very inappropriate text messages and a picture between my H who is a PO and a female PO. someone who is about 15 years younger than him. She was also a good friend of the family. Or so I thought. He had a PA with a non police officer about 11 years ago. We have been married almost 18 years and have 3 young kids. Here's the kicker... We live in a smaller community and I am a judge here. This dynamic totally sucks! The OW family is in law enforcement too. She is not married, but is engaged. Her fiancÚ is not a PO. But he is loaded financially. I'm not even sure how to react to all of this.

Posts: 43 | Registered: May 2013
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, May 20th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amberdawn,
I am sorry for your situation. None of us deserve to be handed this mess. For me, I've developed a complete hatred for POs now.

From what I read here POs are very prone to affairs. They have access to people that feel they have power over them and they have a superiority complex that makes them feel entitled to affairs.

This may not be your case, but I hope you get help here on SI and in counselling.

Being in a small town is the worst. I can't bear going to the small town where fuckface is the DCP. My fWW still goes there all the time, presumably to run into him by chance.

Edited to remove venting about POs.

[This message edited by SecondHelping at 8:18 PM, May 20th (Monday)]


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, Kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 462 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amberdawn,
Congrats on being a judge! I think that's awesome. I am thinking of throwing my hat in the ring in a couple of years but I don't know that I'll make it. Having the AP as a PO when you are the judge must make you have to disclose and conflict. Does everyone in the town know? We lived in a "city" of 3,500 that was very remote. Everyone knew everyone's business. If the whole town already knows I would think your WS and the AP would no longer be effective as LEO's in anyone's court. Credibility issues anyone? I am very sorry for your situation, my WH is a PO but we now live in such a huge city that he never testifies in my court and no one knows anyway.

I don't think that LEO's have any special propensity to cheat (lawyers are always high on that list too). What I have read about cheating is simply those with more opportunity cheat more. Odd and long hours and close work relationships are going to be the real culprits. Hang in there! You have a big city fan over here wishing you the best.


Posts: 541 | Registered: Sep 2012
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tuns out he just got a slap on the wrist. It appears he didn't even get demoted.
What can you do? I guess even though the Chief of Police was extremely sympatheic and kept me informed, he didn't (or couldn't) do much.

Sucks.

I recently found out the Police Chief runs a personal business out of his office on city time. No wonder he didn't get IA involved; they may find out about his corruptness too. I bet the whole force is this way.


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, Kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 462 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
Smokehouse
♂ Member
Member # 40203
Default  Posted: 4:04 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, I just discovered this thread. I have been a PO for 19 years. I am a supervisor and met my wife, who worked in the jail. I worked with her for several years and all was fine. I get sent back out to the road as a shift supervisor and she has an A with one of our co-workers. A MCOW with a lot higher rank. Someone she messed around with before her and I got together, so yes, it is rampant where I work.

This has nearly destroyed me. I knew when we started seeing each other that this was her "method of operation." Other married men at the department. I too was married and left a 21 year marriage to be with her. I truly, and still am, deeply in love with her. She is remorseful and trying. No counseling yet, but, we do plan on it. She gets mad when I tell her she has a pattern with cheating with married men, but, has acknowledged it recently as a problem.

Law enforcement was, and for the most part still is, more of a mans profession. Please don't hate me for saying this. When I see women enter into this field, married women, most, at least a high percentage, cheat on their spouses. My best guess is something to prove or can be equally as wanting to put the notches on their belt so to speak. Men in this field feel superior and love the attention from women the uniform brings. My field training officer told me from day one, "the badge will get you a lot of pussy, but, the pussy will also get your badge." It will also ruin a marriage. I have witnessed this in myself and many others!

I can't believe it happened to me, but, now I'm not surprised after I think of it in its entirety.

BS-49
WW-33
DDay-07/21/13
Dday#2-08/15/13 second phone!
Trying each day.


Posts: 147 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Ohio
Smokehouse
♂ Member
Member # 40203
Default  Posted: 5:09 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't want to offend anybody with what I wrote about it being a mans profession so I will clarify. After I retread it it sounded terrible. What I meant was, the ratio is one sided. So many men to so few women.

I witnessed it myself that some of the women in law enforcement try to be the "One" that gets the attention. It is very catty between the women where I work. Sorry for the misrepresentation. Women in law enforcement are just as professional and hard working as men. I work with some of the best and am proud to serve along side them!


Posts: 147 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Ohio
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smokehouse, you sound like a decent guy. I view all cops as crooked now, but as I meet more decent cops I hope is restores my faith in the profession.

"the badge will get you a lot of pussy, but, the pussy will also get your badge."

I guess my fWWs AP forgot the second half of this phrase...or knew his friend would take care of him. I recently found out he helped catch a bank robber a day or two before fWW started having sex with him. Maybe she did it as a reward to him. Who knows.

[This message edited by SecondHelping at 5:17 PM, September 12th (Thursday)]


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, Kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 462 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 12:59 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's something fun for LEO couples who are reconciling: travel or just host families with the International Police Association. My WH is the LEO and this past year I have been anxious about spending time with our friends who KNOW but we have made a lot of new friends from all over the world with IPA. Almost everyone travels in couples so it's nice to meet up with your counterparts from other countries. So many of our experiences are similar.

Posts: 541 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 272
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