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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts 4
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7,

You have not lost your mind at all! In fact, I think you may have found your true calling. I know just from reading the posts that you have been a help to so many people on this site. Maybe you will have lost your mind if you choose not to pursue becoming a counselor. They say everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is what is meant to be for you. Good luck with your decision.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No slaps from me lady. None.

So once DD is in school full days, you take a couple of courses a semester during her school hours. You do a PT job to finance this adventure, and you use your experience, gifts, talents and wisdom to make the world a better place.

Why the hell would we want to slap YODA for wanting to help the Jedi???


((((((7yrs)))))))

You've already found your calling, at least find some folks to help who will pay ya for it, we really like getting the help for free, here!!


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3557 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

whatnowaz

Thanks for your words of support.

Reading Mending a Shattered Heart was very helpful for in understanding SA. Unfortunately for me, I seem to have a better understanding of it than WH does at this time.

I can honestly say, without a doubt, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to endure in my life thus far. Trying to figure out what is best for the children... Trying to figure out what is best for the SA who needs major help... and Trying to figure out what is best for me, the BW.

How do you do it??? Does anyone know because I feel so lost. I am going to counseling on Wednesday and have no idea where to even begin. I want a separation (not really, but I have no other choice). He's gonna fight over the kids (that's his pattern).

We decided weeks ago that our mutual goal was for WH to get better with the least amount of collateral damage to the children. There has already been far too much collateral damage to the children. When is this ever going to end?


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 day at a time - you seem to have a pretty good handle on where you need to be, and what you need to be doing right now--just keep following the path you feel is right for you. Trust your gut! That worked very well for me, once I started doing that.

I am going to choose to not have any relationship with my WH until he shows some signs of recovery

That is what I chose. Unfortunately, he chose to never get help, so we are in the process of annulment.

I strongly feel that living with someone who is a practicing addict can make the rest of the family mentally ill also, and it takes a while and a lot of work to get healthy after you either split or he recovers.

So it is really important for you to put yourself first, and take care of your needs, and get whatever help you feel might make a difference; for me, that was an IC.

As far as your children, if your WS has addiction problems, it should be much easier (if you can show any kind of proof) to get more custody, and maybe even get supervised visitation. Please talk with your lawyer about this, but my lawyer advised me on this with my psychoX when we split.

If he is a practicing addict, he will not be able to put his children and their needs first.

7yrs - WOW! Good for you! If you feel a "calling" towards that--you know you will have a ton of support from everyone on this site!

And you would make an excellent counselor--you always have great advice here, your advice is always "dead on", and you have been thru it, so you have the compassion also and the understanding that many counselors are missing!

I am excited for you!

You know, that is why I am going back in the fall for social services; I want to be an abuse advocate. I have enough hands on experience, (unfortunately!), so I just need some training and education for it. But I feel strongly about that also, and it feels like the right path for me.

Let us know what you decide!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14917 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
flowermom
♀ Member
Member # 23950
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7 yrs. Go for it!!!! I went back to school when my kids were in middle school, one class at a time. I now have my masters in
Social Work. I need to get my license, then I can become a SA counselor. It is a goal I have since I have been placed in my position. It completely took me off guard, and I had no idea how to deal with this. You can do it!!! There are lots of scholarships and grants out there. Go to the financial aid office of the college nearest to you and see what is available. Going the route through social work is perhaps the most beneficial and pragmatic. I'll be glad to answer any questions you have, and good luck!!! Hugs- FM


Me-BS WHSA, 3 wonderful kids, all grown.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Posts: 570 | Registered: May 2009 | From: South
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7,

I think that's EXACTLY what you should do! We all know how desperately counselling is needed -- especially for wives of SA. We're floating in the abyss. We need someone like you on every street corner.

To others struggling,
It's not easy...but it is possible. Follow your instincts. Get as much info as you can about all your options, then learn to "feel" which one is right. We've all spent a lifetime ignoring that gut instinct. Now's time to find it again.


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
keephopealive
♀ Member
Member # 22678
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, I've lost my mind. Somebody slap me.

Not hardly, maybe slap you right back to school so you can get your degree. This is so natural for you. Those of us who have benefitted from your excellent advice and wisdom got it while it was free

You can do this!! We are here to support you 100%!!


Posts: 502 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: North Texas
broken11
♀ Member
Member # 23277
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7,

Do it! Then open your practice near me.

[This message edited by broken11 at 10:04 PM, July 20th (Monday)]


Me: BW 30
WH:30
D-day #2 2/26/09
Filed for the big D

Posts: 619 | Registered: Mar 2009
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
DOH!  Posted: 10:31 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do it! Then open your practice near me.

Perhaps I'll pioneer cyber counseling via webcam!

I dunno guys. We're talking YEARS of school since I don't have a BA and I don't think any of the credits from my associates degree will transfer.

I might be too old for this...

Giving it some serious thought though.
7


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 1:17 AM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1Dayatatime:

I have the same Pressing Problem as you...my younger 15 dd wants/needs to see WH, but I'm limiting it...I told him i need to know he's sober or at least not acting out in person w/ polygraph to verify before he can have any significant relationship w/ her...his thinking is fecked & SA is progressive...

He had SAID he was sober before...lies, as always...

tough position to be in for us, huh? AND, I am going to divorce him (but am in no rush until i get my plan/legal advice in place...and am wondering HOW I want to DEAL w/ the CHILD CUSTODY thing...Hell, she might be almost 18 by then!!!! Will it matter?

So sad. I'm sorry for what you are going through, but you aren't alone...WHAT does your lawyer say?

7yrs:
Go for it! I'm in the same educational position u are..i had an A.A. in Fashion Merch...also in same financial sitch...but I'm also heading for DIVORCE. Sigh...
No matter what, *I* believe that a spouse of a sex addict had better try & become financially able to care for herself...or working in that direction...I'm 43...have thought of counseling, also...long road no matter what...but worth it...we just need to BEGIN. Just take 1 or 2 classes to start! At least counseling you can do for a long time! I thought of nursing cuz of the $$$$, but I think it would be tough in my late 40's...


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7 yrs.,

Ditto with everything that has been said about you going back to school. You'd be amazing!

And hey, you are NOT too old. I am 57 years old and a course and a half from my Master's degree. I found I was actually a better student in my old age than I ever was as a young woman.


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7yrs, Hey! I am 47 and just starting college for the first time!

It is an adventure, don't let your age decide for you. Decide with your gut. Wait, what do we always say on here?
TRUST YOUR GUT!

If it makes you happy, content, at peace, to think about doing this, then you are on the right path!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14917 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
whatnowaz
♀ Member
Member # 24543
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just needing to vent.....

It just never seems to end. I checked his phone early this morning when he was out of the room. Saw a text from a phone number "what's up with you?" I called the number from my phone. A girls voice answered the other end. I asked her how she knew my husband (used his name) and she said that she met him when he worked at his second job. She named the place, Im just not saying the name. I said so did you know he has a wife and 3 kids? She said they never talked about it, but that they were just friends and she hadnt talked to him in awhile. She really seemed legit( and Ive to many in my time) and I thanked her for talking to me. So, then I left the message open when he came back in. I asked who she was, and he acted totally dumb. I just told him to get outta my face and that all he does is lie. He said he did know her but he didnt recall getting the txt and he didnt respond to it. Of course he didnt elaborate much, but said nothing is going on. It just makes me ill. I mean, what does he do to reel these women in? He isnt all that good looking, it's not like he is extremely fit or anything. And, what the hell is he just giving his phone number out to various women, for NO DAMN REASON???? It's so flippin frustrating!!! Will it ever end? He says he is delving into his childhood with his IC and that he feels the IC is really helping. Yet, he just doesnt want to talk about any of this shit! Please give me feedback, it's all crazy-making!!!!


ME(BS)-33
HIM(WH)SA(not officially Dx)-41
Married 8 years
together 15
D-day too many to remember
most recent 6-16-09
kids 4,12,14

They say "Love conquers all" Well, I am afraid they are WRONG!


Posts: 174 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: arizona
KGT_123
♀ Member
Member # 17881
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7 - GO FOR IT!!!

I don't think its a crazy notion at all. I don't think anyone is ever too old to go back to school. I knew a guy who graduated from Law School at 72 .

I have recently looked into doing a PhD program in Clinical Psychology. After everything I've been through I realize there are not enough good ones out there. Unfortunately there is no such thing as a part-time PhD program in the New York tri-state area. I am working on a five year plan where by the time I am 40 I might stop working full-time to pursue my dream. That would mean giving up a high six figure salary. Most people tell me I would be crazy to do that since I likely won't earn that kind of income in the Psychology field. Who knows? Its just something I want to do and feel a drive to do.

Keep us posted!!


Me - BW (35)
Him - WH (41)
One Little Peanut - 2 years old
1-21-08: D-Day 1 - OW1
3-5-08: D-Day 2 - OW2
12-5-08: FULL DISCLOSURE from 1&2
4-23-09: Found WH trolling on Ashley Madison
4-29-09: D-Day 3

Posts: 415 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: NYC / Long Island
KGT_123
♀ Member
Member # 17881
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(sorry in advance for the length!)

I am going to WH's CSAT tonight. Just to ensure I have all my thoughts straight, I wrote the following down as a script of sorts if I lose my train of thought.

The reason for my meeting is that the CSAT doesn't necessarily think WH is a SA. He is sure something is wrong but not sure what yet.

At this point I'm not sure if WH isn't telling the CSAT the truth, which is certainly a possibility and very much a deal breaker for me staying in this M.

Here goes:

What could make someone do the following?

• Seek out a normal woman for a long term relationship.

• Enter a long term relationship with that woman who is normal by all means – independent, self sufficient, financially stable, good career, nice family/friends, emotionally stable, etc.

• Begin to lie to that woman from the very beginning on nearly every important topic including financial stability, salary, previous relationships, living arrangements, family situation, etc.

• He has a low sex drive from the beginning making excuses as to why he cannot/does not want to perform, oftentimes even when she initiates.

• Ask to marry that woman and start a family.

• Continue to lie to wife after marriage and after conception of child.

• Husband spends money frivolously putting both into a significant debt situation knowing it could not be paid back (wife didn’t know this since wife did not know the true financial situation).

• Have a beautiful child and within two months husband starts an affair with another woman.

• This other woman was not told any form of the truth including that husband was married or had a child.

• Wife knows something is going on. Husband makes the wife think she is going crazy and has post-partum depression.

• Wife gets concrete evidence of the affair and confronts husband.

• Husband is unsure what he wants to do for a few week period. Not sure if he wants to reconcile. Depressed that the other woman dumped him.

• Husband decides to reconcile. Sees devastation the affair has caused wife.

• Husband starts therapy with a counselor he likes.

• Within two months husband has met another woman (second other woman). Also does not tell her any truths about wife/child.

• Wife finds out (again). Is ready to leave. Husband asks for one more chance. Wife stays to give a second chance since a child is involved as well as significant financial obligations.

• Husband is in therapy. Husband is on AD’s. Sex life is still and has always been infrequent.

• Husband and wife go to marriage counseling. Husband does not want to go anymore as he doesn’t feel they are getting anywhere. Wife doesn’t want to argue about it anymore.

• Husband comes off AD’s after being on them for approximately 9 months.

• Marriage is still flat.

• Within six months of finding out about the second affair husband has a profile on Match.com. Husband realizes match won’t work because he can’t have two relationships where either person doesn’t know about the other person. Two months after the match profile, husband decides to start trolling on AshleyMadison.com for a mistress who can be discreet. He tells these woman there is simply no passion in his marriage but due to children(s) sake he must stay in the marriage. Husbands profile and everything he tells these women is false including number of children, ages of children, profession, weight, etc.

• Wife finds out about the internet trolling and wants a divorce.

• Husband promises to get help for what might be a Sexual Addiction.

CSAT, if not sexual addiction, what is this?

edited for reading ease

[This message edited by KGT_123 at 3:05 PM, July 21st (Tuesday)]


Me - BW (35)
Him - WH (41)
One Little Peanut - 2 years old
1-21-08: D-Day 1 - OW1
3-5-08: D-Day 2 - OW2
12-5-08: FULL DISCLOSURE from 1&2
4-23-09: Found WH trolling on Ashley Madison
4-29-09: D-Day 3

Posts: 415 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: NYC / Long Island
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

KGT,
Are there other acting out behaviors that you are aware of besides going to hookup websites and having multiple affairs?

There are things on your list that you don't need to state or to ask about. I'd shorten it and put it in the right person. The way you've written it is very detached. I don't think that's healthy.

I'd start off with the obvious:

My husband came to you because he believes he is a sex addict. Are you telling him that he is not?

• Why would he lie to me from the very beginning on nearly every important topic including financial stability, salary, previous relationships, living arrangements, family situation, etc.

• Why does he have such a low sex drive from the beginning making excuses as to why he cannot/does not want to perform, oftentimes even when I initiates. And yet he was seemingly ready, willing and able to perform with other women.

• Why does he spend money frivolously putting us into a significant debt situation knowing it could not be paid back and hide the financial situation from me?

• Why did he start an affair 2 months after our child was born? All the while telling me I was crazy and had PPD.

• If he can control this why would he start a second affair with yet another woman after starting IC?

• Within six months of my finding out about the second affair he has a profile on Match.com. Two months after the match profile, he decides to start trolling on AshleyMadison.com for a mistress who can be discreet. He tells these woman there is simply no passion in his marriage but due to children(s) sake he must stay in the marriage. His profile and everything he tells these women is false including number of children, ages of children, profession, weight, etc.


But like I said, you need to tell the CSAT about any and all acting out behaviors you know about, whatever they may be.
7

ETA: I knew you had talked about more acting out so I went back through the old thread. You posted this:

Question regarding porn.

I have a keylogger on our home computer. I notice he goes to a website where you can buy porn DVD's on-line. He spent about 20 mintues on that site yesterday looking at new releases. I can also see that he hasn't purchased anything in a long time.

I don't know what to make of this. Would this be considered "acting out"?

I will not bring this up with him since I don't want him to know about the key logger.

I have asked him about this particular website and he said he just browses. I'm wondering what could he get out of browsing.

We have our second appointment with the CSAT on the 27th. Is this something I should bring up?

I started reading MASH last night and got through the first 50 pages. If I go by WH's actions, he fits the SA bill well. If I go by what he says, then SA is not the issue at hand. Personally, I think he is scared and afraid of the SA label. I brought up Love Addiction and told him what I learned about that and he feels that seems more appropriate for him, based on his feelings and what I told him of my research. I think he feels Love Addiction is "better" than SA. The fact is, its all addiction and needs to be treated similarly.

I need to find an IC that specializes in co-dependancy. What a trip this is.

I replied:
YES! He is acting out and most likely masturbating while he's on the site. He's watching the previews and/or looking at the explicit photos. THIS IS ACTING OUT. He does not have to buy anything to be acting out. My rSA rarely paid for anything he just looked at anything and everything he could get for free.

(as to the "he says he's just browsing")
He is looking at PORN. Browsing is just semantics! He is looking and masturbating. He is a sex addict and he is actively using.

So you also need to fill the CSAT in on any porn usage that you know about. Do you still have the keylogger? Is he still going to porn sites and "browsing." If your husband is not telling the CSAT these things the CSAT does not have the whole picture.

Also, you posted that the CSAT had your husband take a test. Ask about that and what the results were. If you think your husband lied on the test you need to bring that up too.

Hope this helps!
7

[This message edited by 7yrsbetrayed at 4:23 PM, July 21st (Tuesday)]


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
KGT_123
♀ Member
Member # 17881
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you 7! I appreciate the feedback and think your advice is wise. I'm going to take it - thankyouverymuch!

Truly, I'm not aware of any other "acting out" behaviors. He looks at porn but not that often - maybe once a week for 20 minutes or so. I have a keylogger on our home computer so I know what he is doing on there. I know for a fact he cannot get any porn or anything remotely related on his work computer as it is locked down for nearly everything through his employer. Unless he has a secret computer I'm not aware of?

I am just so tired of guessing. But when things don't add up it just means I am missing a piece of the puzzle. It does not mean my gut is off. My gut hasn't steered me wrong yet.


Me - BW (35)
Him - WH (41)
One Little Peanut - 2 years old
1-21-08: D-Day 1 - OW1
3-5-08: D-Day 2 - OW2
12-5-08: FULL DISCLOSURE from 1&2
4-23-09: Found WH trolling on Ashley Madison
4-29-09: D-Day 3

Posts: 415 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: NYC / Long Island
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, just remember, the internet is not the only way to get porn. It's on TV. He can stash magazines. It's easily available. Bottom line, he does look at porn regularly.

Oh and read my reply again, I think I was editing when you replied.
7

[This message edited by 7yrsbetrayed at 4:35 PM, July 21st (Tuesday)]


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My rSA rarely paid for anything he just looked at anything and everything he could get for free.

Mine too. There's something to be said for cheap SAs. They don't put their families in the poor house.

Before the internet, my SAh used to frequent a used adult store to stock up on magazines and videos. I'd find the 50% Off stickers on his stash.

1F1B, in a macabre state of humour at the moment

[This message edited by 1Forward1Back at 5:38 PM, July 21st (Tuesday)]


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, July 21st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And oh, btw, 7yrs. about your dream to further your education--I took/am taking almost 5 years to do this Master's degree. I started big when I was not working, but my H was and making good money, and have now slowed down to taking courses during semesters I have the time and the money. I was able to get a good job with just my Bachelor's degree, with the promise to my employer I would complete a Master's. Because I am chronically ill, was dealing with a mentally ill child at the time and had/have (and absolutely want) to work, I am gentle with myself in how much time and energy I could/can put into my course work.

I did an online search for programs. I had two major criteria; a university that would accept my Canadian license (I chose to look in the U.S. because they are much more friendly towards their students than Canadian ones) and one with reasonable cost per credit. It's amazing the difference in prices. And many have really good student loan programs. I did not use any because of the international hassle. Other institutions have programs that combine a bachelor's and master's degree in a shorter amount of time. My DIL's sister is taking one of them for a medical based career, although her current degree is in drama.

Just some food for thought, 7. The world needs someone like you in this field. You can do it! You will find a way!!


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
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