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island_girl (original poster member #22616) posted at 10:34 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2009
The blameshifting is strong in this one... seriously. He's even blaming OW for manipulating him now.
He actually posted in Wayward a while ago... blameshifts the entire time. People call him on it (thank you SI!!), but he doesn't think he'll post again because they didn't respond to his issue on how to deal with me. In his mind, dealing with my (he believes, irrational) responses to him is his biggest problem. But everyone who responded pointed out his problem of not owning his shit was most apparent... maybe just maybe that leads to my reactions. hmmmmmmm.
He read my post in D/S, some of it is about him insisting that I have an orgasm every time. He says he was simply acting like society instructed... no "I should have listened to you," no "you would know what you want." nope. Just, society is right and you are WRONG. You really do want an O every time, you just don't know it. 
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi
PerpleNerple ( member #3224) posted at 10:39 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2009
Hmmmm so he has nothing better to do than stalk you and your postings on SI? 
Why isn't he off in la-la love land with OW?
Or maybe the grass was only greener on the other side because of all of the shit over there? 
(((((((ig))))))))))
Do NOT take responsibility for his problems/issues etc including his inability to get it right in the sack with you.
Youre better than all that nonsense 
"Unconditional love does not mean unconditional crap absorption"
~Oh, what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive~ Sir Walter Scott
island_girl (original poster member #22616) posted at 10:43 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2009
He has been NC with OW since a few days after d-day. It's literally the only thing he's done right. But it's not because of me - it's because he doesn't really like her that much. Sure, she was a good lay for a MM, but not relationship material... 
NOW, after I decided I was done, he finally wants to work it out. I'm not so keen on that plan, but I'm also not 100% opposed to it - which is why he's still around. It's just that he can't seem to understand his issues. It's all about mine, the OW's, his family, even his IC told him to do whatever... NOTHING is ever his fault.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 12:41 AM on Saturday, July 4th, 2009
(((island_girl)))
Mine NEVER did take any responsibility, and at our last phone call, which was last week, he again told me it was ALL my fault for making such a big deal out of nothing. Seriously.
So. Seriously, I am sooooo done with that idiot.
Yours seems to have a ways to go to get his head out of his a$$, and I think counseling is the only thing that may help him if he really wants it, at this point.
Good luck!
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
island_girl (original poster member #22616) posted at 1:34 AM on Saturday, July 4th, 2009
I didn't mean to make it sounds like we're in R... we're separated, but WH wants to R and from my end there's still the tiniest chance of it. For now, I'm focusing on dealing with my own stuff.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi
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