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Newest Member: brokenhearted730 (43224)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: OC support thread BS Only (next thread)
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Happy  Posted: 6:31 PM, August 13th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There IS hope ladies! Just spoke to OW, the adoption is final!!!!

I'm so happy I could cry!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
dreamer1
♀ Member
Member # 13716
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, August 13th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeppy, NO MORE OW !!!!

What more can person truely ask for...

I am so excited for you that it finally found the end of the tunnel...

Now please don't abandune us...

Captain Jack tonight for me, for you & your honey 2nite...


S(he) Be(lie)ve(d)
Me-BS 48
Him-FWH 50
Friends 34 yrs-Married 26 yrs
D-Day 1/20/2007
LTA-To Many False R to count and D-days, Last D-day June 11,2010
4 stepchildren SS 28, SD 29, Twin SS 2yrs.
Twin OC, born 6/23/2008
Trying to see if R is pos

Posts: 558 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Arizona
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slept better last night than I have in a really long time

I wanted to thank you all for your love and support, it has meant the world to me. There have been many days that I don't think I could have held it together if I didn't have you all to talk to. You will all have a special place in my heart forever


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
beajus
♀ Member
Member # 21386
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AuntCis i'm sooo sooo happy for you!!!

Please don't leave us though.. All the newbies will need your support and insight..

I know i did
Ok enough mushy stuff..

I"m really happy for you!!


me BS 29 him WH 30
Together for 10 yrs
5 little boys 8,7,7,4,2
Dday 7-09-08
OC born 3-30-09
R- 8-1-08
Have OC 75% or more of the time
H works with OW
S. 7-30-09 NOT A related.
12-09 OW absconded with OC
1-2010 we filed for custody

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: NE iowa
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not going anywhere

I just hope I will be able to help you all in the ways that you have helped me


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AuntCis, you know how happy I am for you!

Altered, I am so glad that is was not what you thought it was. The sad thing about A's are they make us question everything even little things. So I hope that your H will continue to be open and truthful to you in all aspects and make that boundary concerning OW.


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Cool  Posted: 12:20 PM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Auntcis...................... I am so happy for you.......


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is still so hard to believe my h slept with a women like OW. I just seen her in the store I can't believe our lives are connected. I was with my girlfriends doing some shopping and look up and saw her.. I was praying that she didn't speak to me because I didn't want my friends to know that she is OC mom. To my relief I rolled my eyes at her so she just kept on moving.But my friends started talking about her as she passed us because she had on her fastfood resturant uniform and it was filty!!!! My friends were saying that's why they do not eat fastfood anymore because the workers are dirty and trashy looking. How could he sleep with her I mean she is dirty I never seen her hair combed. If your body is dirty that means you don't brush your teeth ????? I am just so scared that my friends and family will one day find out he slept with trash...... She has been homeless now for 9 months. We are totally different. Just need to vent a little...........


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
altered
♀ Member
Member # 25116
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Auntcis I am so happy for you. I have been following the forum and can see how long your struggle has been. Lynne01, I am right there with you. The OW in my situation used to do 3 ways with her XH and his married friend and her XH used to buy hookers. Needless to say when I went to the Dr, I said run it all, give me rabies shots if needed. It's disgusting that WH would touch her. I have been having a lot of angry feelings today I want to confront OW, but with her complications, it could hurt OC. Part of me doesn't care, it would be easier without OC, but the rest is trying to be a better person. I only hope Karma catches up with her in the end


Married since 5/99
BS-36
WH-39
1 COM
D-Day 6/27/09
In R OC born 12/15
D-Day #2 8/19/13

I want to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be-Jewel

Posts: 205 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Heartland
dreamer1
♀ Member
Member # 13716
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, August 14th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am right with you all, just wonder why??? How???

To go out for ground beef, when you have filet mignon (can't spell) at home. Just do not understand, and probably won't ever.

I only have the problem now, is trying to get it all to stop coming into my mind, everyday, and wondering if I truly can live with this. Some days I just think leaving would be so much easier. But I know that will not make the hurt go away.


S(he) Be(lie)ve(d)
Me-BS 48
Him-FWH 50
Friends 34 yrs-Married 26 yrs
D-Day 1/20/2007
LTA-To Many False R to count and D-days, Last D-day June 11,2010
4 stepchildren SS 28, SD 29, Twin SS 2yrs.
Twin OC, born 6/23/2008
Trying to see if R is pos

Posts: 558 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Arizona
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, August 15th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW posted on her facebook that she is so happy adoption finally went through, now all of thier kids(between the 2 of them they now have 5) have what they need that other people couldn't provide!!

And then I commented on her post and said we were very happy for OC, and when I went back on later I found she had deleted my comment!!

[This message edited by auntcis at 2:24 PM, August 15th (Saturday)]


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, August 16th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY Auntcis!! I only dream of this day for myself!

I take it that you have her as a friend on FB. OW sent me a request - it is still just setting there. The little bit that I would give her access to would probably just piss her off more. Right after D-day, she stole some pics so that "her D could at least see what her sisters look like" so I wouldn't give her access to them. Plus, I don't think it would be healthy for me. I would read into everything she says and does.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, August 16th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I take it that you have her as a friend on FB

Yes, she sent me a friend request the day of the adoption

I accepted out of morbid curiosity, and it is funny how little what she does and says affects me now that the adoption is final. I will leave her as a friend for now, cause my in-laws show her pictures of our COM all the time anyway. And I don't care if she see's all our cool vacation pictures and see's all the fun stuff we do as a family, cause there is NOTHING she can do to hurt us anymore Plus it probably kills her to see all the mushy stuff my H and I send back and forth to eachother

I can delete her at anytime


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
heartbroken731
♀ New Member
Member # 25198
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, August 17th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How did you go about telling your family that there is an OW and an OC? We both want to work on R but I'm not sure how to tell my family that I'm going to try to work things out. I already have a 10 yr old stepson from the same OW (prior to us even meeting). So obviously, no contact is out of the question. I'm not quite sure how to deal with that either...


Me BS 26 Him WH 29
Together 7 years
Married 1 year
D-day 7/31/09
OW and WH already share a child together from their relationship before me.

Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2009
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, August 17th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((heartbroken731)))))))

I'm sorry you find yourself here, but welcome.

How did you go about telling your family that there is an OW and an OC

The way each person handles this is very different. For me, I am very close to my family and friends and there wasn't even a second of hesitation in telling them about OW/OC. I am a talker and needed to be able to talk to my H, family and friends about the whole situation. Some women don't tell thier friends or family at all. On page 5 of this thread is a very helpful "handbook" of steps to take in dealing with this messy situation.

Please keep posting here it really doea help and the ladies here are WONDERFUL and have really helped me through some hard times. Good luck


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
altered
♀ Member
Member # 25116
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, August 18th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told my dad sunday about the affair and the OC on the way. He surprised me, he said that the important thing was forgiveness, that me and WH needed to be on the same page and that he would support me no matter what . I guess I thought that he would get mad and call me an idiot for staying, sometimes I feel like one, or a doormat. WH is doing all the things I have asked and I think I can forgive his A, but I don't know that I can forgive him giving OW an OC. It's so hard and I just don't know what to do somedays. OW is moving into her 3rd trimester and this OC seems like more of a reality. I hope that our M and R will weather this storm, but I just don't know. OW and OC seem like they will always be part of our lives. I told MC that WH cheating will always be part of my story, even if we split up, and I love WH and want M and R but I just don't hold out much hope . Sorry, I'm rambling


Married since 5/99
BS-36
WH-39
1 COM
D-Day 6/27/09
In R OC born 12/15
D-Day #2 8/19/13

I want to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be-Jewel

Posts: 205 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Heartland
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, August 18th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Altered.........
I know it was very hard for you to tell your family. I didn't tell my family until the DNA came back that OC was my H. I was also suprize that none of my family said I was stupit for staying. They all have been very supportive. My in-laws are the one's I have the most problems with but they never been supportive so screw them......

In other news OW is living in a motel where she has to pay 30.00 a day. She has nowhere else to go... H ask her if OC could come live with us until she can find a place. This Trick ask H if he could find her somewhere live?
I call her and told her as soon as all 4 of kids father split the cost sure.... She hungup on me. We have hotlined her 3 times so maybe soon they will take her kids because I don't believe her situration will get better she has been homeless 9 months. Well that's her problem just had to vent a little because the pain is still there. Some days are better than other but today is a bad day.


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
SurvivingInCA
♀ Member
Member # 23898
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, August 18th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Altered you are so brave. I wish I had the courage to tell my family and/or friends - I just don't think that I could handle their opinions about what I should do. Your dad's support gives me hope that maybe my family would support me to and that maybe I don't have to keep this secret forever.


BW me/36, WH him/35
Married 4, together 7
Dday 4/10/09
PA 1/1/08 to 5/1/08 (5 rendezvous)
No Kids - had been trying 1/1/08 - 4/9/09
OC 01/09/DNA despite H's male factor infertility (guess she got the one miracle sperm)
R'ing

Posts: 136 | Registered: May 2009
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, August 18th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crazy OW has been texting my h alnite saying if h do not find her a place to live she is moving 500 miles away with OC back to her hometown... Pray with me that she do..... One we have joint phyeical custody and OC suppose to come live with us in November so let her move... Iam tired of her and need the space. H upset but Karma is hitting his ass too. If she moves our lawyer is on top of it already.. I need that shank out of my life. I love OC but his my is a pain. So maybe this for the best but i think she is talking and not going nowhere. if that was the case she has been homeless for 8 month why move now??? I hate wll this drama......


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, August 19th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sorry for the miss spell words drinking wine and typing fast..


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
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