Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: saveme25 (43179)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spouses Not Interested in Sex - Open to BS/WS
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, July 9th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've always told him if he would just tell me what the problem is, I would move heaven and earth to help fix it.

Yeah, I know that feeling. I got a very similar response. She said that as she gets older a woman's libido drops off. Like she is sooo much older now than in 2008. I'm kind of a big fella, I weigh in around 250 but she says that isn't it. Whatever it is, whether it was something real about him or just her perception of him, I don't have it. Since I don't even know what IT is I have no chance to get it.

Like lonerider said, if I bring it up there will usually be a short term increase in her libido and how often she initiates something, but it doesn't last. If it was just sex, well there's every boy's first girlfriend "Rosey and her 5 sisters" and it's not like there isn't a ton of porn on the nets for inspiration, but I want more than that.

I want someone who wants me to jump her bones so much that she jumps mine. Not every time, but more than once a year. I want at least as much passion and energy as she put into her A. I deserve more, but it's a start. I'd like to be seduced by her once in a while. The only time that's happened was during her A. I loved it then, but knowing what I know now I just feel used.

I honestly don't know what to do and it's breaking my heart. We've been together for almost 24 years now. I love her dearly but the thought of spending another 20 years like this is killing me. I'm not sure I can do it. And at 45 it's not like I have a whole lot of time to decide. Men in my family have always aged well, but time is not on my side as they have also died pretty young too. My wife is physically everything I want in a woman, she is a stone cold Fox even at 46. If the physical was all I wanted I could go buy it, or at least rent it. As it stands I am at an impasse and I don't know what to do about it.


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
rottenkitty
♀ Member
Member # 18247
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, July 10th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I talked to my WBF about the why several times. I got very little response; and when I did, it was always something very vague. He would say he just couldn't, or things weren't working, or even "he died" (meaning his man part). Nothing died, it worked just fine you were porking someone else. Gimme a break. But I digress....

I told him the whole point was that if I was seeing how incredibly sad and unhappy and lonely I was making my partner, I would really do just anything to fix that. If it truly is libido, or things just not working right, why not run your ass to the doctor and find out what's wrong? God knows they make plenty of drugs for libido. I told my WBF that if it was me who "just couldn't" that I would find other ways to connect intimately with him. I would make sure that I was still intimately available and would use whatever was necessary to make sure he didn't feel the way I did.

I remember being much younger and having a conversation with friends about people who leave their partners due to lack of sex. We all said how ridiculous that was, how we would never leave someone over sex. And I feel that my WBF tries like hell to make it seem like it's just sex. It's not just sex. Like you said, Cee, you can get off anywhere, with anyone, if that's what you really wanted to do. I suppose I could too, but it wouldn't fill the ache and the hunger for what we are really after.


Posts: 251 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Wisconsin
freshwound
♀ New Member
Member # 29081
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, July 20th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It pains me to read all of the stories of BS's wanting sex and being rejected. I am BS and can take or leave sex. I am phobic about initiating, but I will do my best to be accommodating (duty I guess they call it). WS found his jollies using porn and escalating into internet affair website memberships -- no EAs or PAs that I know of. Do I blame him? No. I blame myself for not being able to meet his needs, yet I can't seem to get past it. Doesn't make his actions right, but it explains how he got there. And honestly, I think he meant to get caught whether he realized it consciously or not because it forced the issues to the surface.

I don't know why I am the way I am. I didn't experience anything particularly traumatic to cause it. Everything is in working order and I get just as worked up in bed as anyone. No trouble with O(s). I just can't bring myself to initiate it, and to me if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. It doesn't build up and fester.

A few years ago we had a therapist tell us we were trying to get from A to Z all at once. She suggested we agree to a period of no sex so that I would be able to crawl into bed without feeling the baggage. We agreed to go from A to B by taking turns giving each other massage. This A-B-C approach made me feel very hopeful and I was eager and willing. As I was giving that first massage, he gave me feedback that it was weird and insincere. No other progress happened after that.

I think the porn has played a role. I had a partner in my 20s who liked to get dirty movies to play while we made out. The participants do a lot of pretty repulsive things, and maybe there's nothing wrong with that, but having the images of it play out in your mind may not be a good thing! When I think about WH masturbating to porn, I imagine the filth playing in his head. When we have sex, that's the mind movie I can't shake.

I just thought this perspective is less often shared on this thread and I'd like to hear from "the other side" about how I can maybe take some baby steps to get past my barriers, and maybe some empathy for my position. Being unable to deliver ain't no picnic either. I feel just as powerless to give it as any of you who feel powerless to get it.


BS: me 41
WH: 43
Kids: D-14 & S-11
POSOW: anybody will do, EAs, PA?
D-Day July 18, 2010

Posts: 8 | Registered: Jul 2010
rottenkitty
♀ Member
Member # 18247
Default  Posted: 2:50 AM, July 28th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

freshwound, First and foremost, your lack of sex does not excuse your husband for cheating on you. I have not had sex for nearly 2 1/2 years, and never cheated on my WBF. But I will tell you that it has ruined us. I feel that everything else in our road to recovery has gone better than I ever would have expected. He has been attentive and transparent beyond belief. But the fact that I can't be intimate with the person I love has truly turned into a deal-breaker. I don't see that he is willing to work on it, and our relationship is over for now. He will need to take positive steps to address this issue long-term before I will consider being with him again. I love him more than life, I miss his companionship so much. I miss everything else about him.

I don't miss the incredible loneliness I felt cuddling with him in bed and knowing that was as much as I was ever going to get.

I feel that if I am not worth trying to fix something that is clearly so hurtful, then there is no point in continuing like this.

If I ever find myself on the other side of this, I now know that I will go to great lengths to do what I can to maintain intimacy. It may have been something I took for granted before, but never again.


Posts: 251 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Wisconsin
slowheal
♂ Member
Member # 28907
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, August 16th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because I want to physically contect and have sex at least once a week, I am a SA according to my FWW who had six different A's over 20 years of marriage. I'm the one with the problem. My IC says it's blame shifting. I will admit that I used porn during a portion of her A years when she was leaving me with nothing but a cold shoulder.
I want more than sex, I have always wanted to be desired. She won't flirt with me (something she did with OM, that's how I found out about all of the A's), she doesn't touch me much unless she has a bad dream. I want more and she says I have a problem. She on the other hand is all cured. Her IC is ready to let her go. I guess the multiple rapes and male rejections (left her pregnant and a D) from her past are all peachy now and have nothing to do with our problems. Our MC has even suggested a compramise and that has fallen by the wayside. It's always some great reason for why we can't get together. I believe she looks for stressful drama.
Thanks for listening to me rant.


BH 47
FWW 49
Married 25 years
5 kids (29-5)
DDay #1 9-1-09
TT DDay #2 9-28-09

Posts: 65 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: it ain't hell, but you can see it from here.
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, August 16th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cee,
I am TWICE the man OM was, physically, mentally and morally. He was a skinny little pipsqueak with poor spelling, NO grammar, a big nose and a bald spot right in the middle of his mullet. I could ball him up and put him in my hip pocket for a doggy treat and he knows it, the craven coward. And the best she had to offer she gave to him.

This is the funniest description I think I've ever read!!!!!

I've had a really bad day, and this made me laugh out loud!!!


me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
GeauxTigers
♂ Member
Member # 28301
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, August 16th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If this was a wife who cheated on her husband, every women here knows what it would be about. She would know that emotionally, her husband needed to know that he was the best thing she ever had...and that would be the start of the reconciliation.

I wish this were true, brokenhearted, I really do. Guess my WW isn't an "every woman." And it's really got me down the last few days... Before I started reading this thread, I may have agreed that betrayed men take this harder than betrayed women, but the responses so far have disabused me of that notion. Looks like the "this fuckin' sucks!" is universal. I will say that a WW's affair hits many men (GT raises hand) in the most delicate part of their psyche: their sexuality. But we seemingly have no monopoly.
If that didn't happen, most men would walk...

Guess I'm not "most men" either. At least not yet...
This thread makes me so sad on so many levels for all of us. It's like a brutal last kick in the gut. You know, because f*cking someone else and completely emasculating you/shaming you wasn't quite enough. Gotta go for the kill shot and withhold the very thing you gave so freely to another who did not earn or deserve it. Here I am: swallowing my pride, trying so hard to reconnect, offering a gift that may not be deserved, and the return on this risky investment is.... apathy? Really? Wow.

The sad thing is: I don't even think it's intentional or spiteful. It's just not the "role" I fill for her at this time. Not sure it ever will be again. I certainly cannot compete with an affair partner with regards to "thrill." Even the great sex we had during the all-too-brief HB period is tainted. At first, I thought it was a GREAT start to repairing us, and a step in the right direction to the M I was wanting all along. Now, I'm starting to feel like I got only got the benefit of whatever leftover passion was still in her head/heart right after D-Day. Not that she was fantasizing about him necessarily (though possible), but that the ability to "let go" is not something she naturally feels with me anymore, but was able to during the really foggy times because the affair mentality wasn't "processed" yet. And those thoughts lead me down the insecurity path of: she had the best sex of her life with him, and due to the fact that I am "known", I can never overcome that. At least not with her. Why am I doing this again?

Fuck me.

(No, seriously.... fuck me. )

j/k, Mods, not trying to pick up anyone here!


Sigh... how did I end up here?

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Nashville
GeauxTigers
♂ Member
Member # 28301
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, August 16th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think you can generalize about sex. But, sex for women is on a much different level than sex is for most men. I don't think men realize what a personal hit that is, when they have sex with other women. For women it is something we claim..it is ours and ours alone. When it is shared with other women, it is not longer ours alone

I know I am still months back in this thread, brokenhearted, but WOW! you couldn't be more wrong, at least as far as I'm concerned. Ask a few men if they would take a personal hit if their female partner slept with someone else... holy cow, I feel like my entire self-worth trickled down her thigh, only to be wiped up and discarded like yesterday's unread newspaper...

You gotta quit generalizing (hopefully you do later. I'm still only up to July 1, lol...) We're all pissed and in the same boat.


Sigh... how did I end up here?

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Nashville
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, August 17th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a repost, in part, of my feelings on how men feel about infidelity. The original thread is at

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=357020


As a BH I understand exactly what goes through a man's mind after infidelity. Not much of it is pretty. I could shock you all with my unguarded, unedited thoughts.

The best way to describe it is to picture an auditorium or quorum hall. Parliament if you like. There is one voice that speaks to the outside world at the front of the room, but within that room are all the other voices that should never be heard like Anger, Fear, Hate, Suspicion and Doubt. There are the voices we all want to hear like Love, Faith, Trust, Compassion, and Eros. This is just a sampling as it seems like many more.

For me the huge hurdle was getting the negative voices off the stage and back to the back of the room and back in their cages where they belong. These voices have their proper place and they had not only gotten out of it they had seized control. Getting them back where they belong was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Even now I can't claim complete victory because they can still make themselves heard over the crowd, sometimes they get loose too, and I find myself struggling to put them away again.

For me, Fear and Anger are the most insidious and the most dangerous. Fear is by far the craftiest of the two. The biggest part of this comes from how men and boys are raised. We are taught from an early age that we must be aggressive warriors in our daily lives. We must be strong, unflinchingly so. Compassion for others comes from strength, ie. "I am secure in the world now, therefore I can help you if you need it" We are taught from an early age that the world will beat us and eat us alive if we are not strong and careful. As we grow to become Men we learn to keep others at a certain distance, even our friends, brothers and sisters and our parents. Even our children are kept a certain distance away though closer than most because for them we must be Guardian and Teacher. Only one is allowed "inside our shield arm" where they can strike us in an unprotected spot.

Women generally have a hard time with this concept. Just as men have a hard time with the concept of giving birth. It is alien thinking. Boys learn from the beginning that, someday, they will be Husbands and Fathers, Guardians and Teachers and Providers. That they must fight to earn this right. Why do you think we still say "He won her heart" or "He swept her off her feet"?

My wife's affair was a crushing blow. A dagger in the back from an unexpected foe. The ONE person I could let my guard down with, the ONE person I could let inside my shield arm. Worse, I had lost a battle I didn't know I was fighting! HE, the OTHER, had won. By his stealth and my weakness he had slipped in and taken what I thought was safely mine, had subverted my one safe person to be my enemy and used her like a weapon against me.

Understand that this is my way of explaining the concepts and feelings that many men share deep down. None of it is politically correct in this modern age but it is still true nonetheless.

Kaitlyn, your husband still fears you. He is afraid to let you back in under his shield. That may change and it may not. One thing that will help you is to understand that most men are hopeless romantics at heart. We wear the armor of Men grudgingly at best.

You must ease his fear.

You must show him that you are not a threat to him anymore and hope that this fear has not jaded him beyond feeling for any woman ever again.


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
PiQue
♀ Member
Member # 17575
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, August 17th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife's affair was a crushing blow. A dagger in the back from an unexpected foe. The ONE person I could let my guard down with, the ONE person I could let inside my shield arm. Worse, I had lost a battle I didn't know I was fighting! HE, the OTHER, had won. By his stealth and my weakness he had slipped in and taken what I thought was safely mine, had subverted my one safe person to be my enemy and used her like a weapon against me.

Wow. Change 'wife' to husband and all the pronouns to masculine, and this is exactly how I feel. I even wrote a missive to my WS something to this effect - that I had given him my back and he stabbed me in it at her direction.


Me/BW 50+
Him/WH 60+ Long Distance LTA
NEVER ignore your gut.


Posts: 2881 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Mid-Atlantic Region
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, August 17th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PiQue, some things about this are just universal. A large part of that post is. It sucks to be cheated on no matter who you are, man or woman. That post was meant to illustrate how men in particular think their way through it since, though men and women often arrive at the same conclusions, it's usually by different paths.


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, August 17th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife's affair was a crushing blow. A dagger in the back from an unexpected foe. The ONE person I could let my guard down with, the ONE person I could let inside my shield arm. Worse, I had lost a battle I didn't know I was fighting! HE, the OTHER, had won. By his stealth and my weakness he had slipped in and taken what I thought was safely mine, had subverted my one safe person to be my enemy and used her like a weapon against me.


Wow. Change 'wife' to husband and all the pronouns to masculine, and this is exactly how I feel. I even wrote a missive to my WS something to this effect - that I had given him my back and he stabbed me in it at her direction.

How true, how true...I'm female but feel exactly the same way.



me BS female 55/him WS 58
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 6763 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
GeauxTigers
♂ Member
Member # 28301
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, August 17th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cee64D:
She almost never initiates things and when I do it's always like I have to talk her into it. She could put all that energy into the OM... yet STILL... plays hard to get with me?

IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF!! SHE went out and had this hot passionate affair while her "teddy bear" cluelessly thought everything was fine. WELL WHAT ABOUT ME? Where's all this passion for me now that OM is gone. Where's the hot talk for me, the enticement, the teasing looks.

She is more affectionate to me than she has been in years. But overall I still feel like a security blanket, a fall back safety zone.

Frankly, I'm jealous of her. She got all the excitement of the affair, the Drama of her husband fighting for her and of course I "won"... (yipee) And after all that she still has her big ol' teddy bear to snuggle with.

I am TWICE the man OM was, physically, mentally and morally...

And the best she had to offer she gave to him.

I love my wife dearly, more than life itself, but I also need to feel like I'm more than just her best friend. I need to feel desired too.

Funny. The whole reason for her affair was outside validation (I didn't count since I was 'biased'). Now I know what that feels like...

Whatever it is, whether it was something real about him or just her perception of him, I don't have it. Since I don't even know what IT is I have no chance to get it.

I want someone who wants me to jump her bones so much that she jumps mine. Not every time, but more than once a year. I want at least as much passion and energy as she put into her A. I deserve more, but it's a start. I'd like to be seduced by her once in a while. The only time that's happened was during her A. I loved it then, but knowing what I know now I just feel used.

I honestly don't know what to do and it's breaking my heart. We've been together for almost 24 years now. I love her dearly but the thought of spending another 20 years like this is killing me. I'm not sure I can do it.


GET
OUT
OF
MY HEAD!!!!


Sigh... how did I end up here?

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Nashville
crushed again
♀ Member
Member # 26138
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, August 17th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ommg!

GET
OUT
OF
MY HEAD!!!!!

GeauxTigers that made me laugh so hard!


Thanx for the grins. I really could use them today.

On a more serious note- while WH & I were seperated last month all he did was talk about how he wanted to ravage me. He came "home" the other night. Needless to say I am still waiting...
Yes, I resent what the OP got. Even though the A is just a "delusion of granduer" I'm sure that the ow never heard "I'm too tired" or anything else rejecting...


"Don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine!"
~I guess living in limbo is my "new normal"- stinks!~

Posts: 713 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Dreaming of a far better place!
lirpa
♀ New Member
Member # 27219
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, August 27th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been terribly frustrated because my FWH has not been very interested in sex since we decided to reconcile. I feel that it is because he feels guilty for having done what he did and doesn't think he deserves to feel good with me or anyone else. I also think he is afraid. We used to get down to business three or more times a week, and now it is once every couple of weeks. We've talked about it and gotten no where. Any thoughts, suggestions, etc.?


"We are own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves."

Posts: 21 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Kansas
Moving On Up
♂ Member
Member # 18809
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, August 27th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out more detail in respect of OM, that in fact he was somethng of a stud, this hasn't helped.That is the trouble with trickle truth, some of us don't want to know and some of us do. So I suppose I had heard that it was all pretty average and a few months ago, she angrily told me that it was pretty good, successful and lots of good sex with OM. Since then, I have felt like it is a competition.. Brings it all back with a new kind of movie. Not a good feeling. She tells me that it is all in the past, i believe that. I did press for the truth and she gave it to me. Basically I asked for it.So now I have all kinds of wounded pride, triggers and so on. Makes it very hard to get thru. She says that I should be over that now and it is very damaging. Suppose it is back to time healing etc etc. We are having sex and when it is good I think of how good it was for her with him. Sort of the better it gets the worse it gets.


The first cut is the deepest.
Me BS 53
She FWS 48
Together 21 years

Posts: 83 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: USA
rottenkitty
♀ Member
Member # 18247
Default  Posted: 4:31 AM, August 28th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have wondered for over two years why I wasn't good enough. The whys and the endless wondering took a toll. I am no longer with my WBF. I just can't quite force myself to put that little "x" in front of it.

I am passing this along, in case it can help one single person. After my BF and I broke up, I found a book which I now refer to as "The (WBF's name) Handbook." It has given me so much insight and answered so many questions for me, and I truly believe that I have found the reason that we did not have sex. If your spouse was ever in an enmeshed relationship with a parent, I implore you to get and read "When He's Married to Mom" by Kenneth Adams. My WBF is somewhat of a momma's boy, and this book is a real eye-opener for just how damaging that kind of a relationship can be for a child, and into adulthood for sure. One of the telltale signs of an enmeshed relationship with your parent is withholding sex. I've since read other books related to the topic, and it can go either way...men or women. The psyche is truly an amazing thing.

I will stop rambling, unless someone wants more information. Like I said, I am hoping someone here can find this useful. I really believe that if I had found this book six months ago, I would be on my way to a happy future with my xBF (There. I said it.)


Posts: 251 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Wisconsin
lookinforward
♀ Member
Member # 20577
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, September 1st (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just pokin my head in here to see how things are going. Doesn't look like much progress has been made by anyone. This is very depressing.

I finally got tired of waiting for my "special day" to be planned with a "special trip" by H and told him I thought we should have a romantic evening at home to get things moving in our R. He was all for it. So I planned a menu for our dinner, etc. He didn't do anything - no flowers, no anything. Then things got in the way ended up not getting to dinner until 10pm after working on our home all day. At that point I said forget it.

Our MC wonders why we are bothering to come to MC because every time it is the same discussion. I am waiting for him to make a "grand gesture" by planning a special time for us to reconnect sexually and he says he's working on it. It has been over 2 years since Dday so over 2 years since we have had sex. I say it better damn well be a trip of a lifetime since it has taken 2 years to plan!

Granted a lot of things have been happening in our life but it just pisses me off that he can't seem to put our M at the top of the heap. He is loving and playful...holds my hand, gives me a peck on the lips, grabs a boob every now and then (which btw, kind of makes me feel even worse).

I have yet to see the "I want you so bad and can't believe I ever doubted it" gesture I need him to make in order to look at our first time having sex after his A as a beginning for us and not just a rug sweep gesture.

I'm tired of being the one who has to bring it up all the time. I tried so hard at the beginning, but unbeknown to me he was still in the A, so yeah, I have not initiated, except for trying to plan that one romantic evening that became a disaster.

Sorry for the vent..just feeling low...when I feel like this all I can hear in my head is the recorded conversation I heard of him telling MOW that he craved her.


~Without Struggle, There is no Progress

Posts: 1992 | Registered: Aug 2008
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, September 5th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lookingforward, you have my complete sympathy. I can't imagine going two years without at least "make-up" sex. To be honest, if that were the case in my marriage, it would have been over a year ago.


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
SickofitAll27
♀ Member
Member # 29425
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, September 6th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*sigh* here it goes...My WH and I have always been very sexual and open to new things. 3 years ago we *broke the seal* as we call it and invited another man into our *fun*. Please understand that WH is NOT gay or bi (not that its a bad thing, just not his thing). He truly *got off* on seeing me pleased by soem


"There's a girl crying in my mirror tonight and there's nothing I can say to make her feel alright."

"We don't ever stop loving someone. We simply learn to live without them."


Posts: 116 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: SickofitAll27
Topic Posts: 446
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23

Return to Forum: I Can Relate Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.