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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Npd Thread Part V II
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, May 20th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((veritas)))

Glad to hear that you pulled the plug. Your way too cool for his lame ass.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
mommyblonde
♀ Member
Member # 22548
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, May 20th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I seriously have no idea how they can say "me, me, me..." and expect us to feel sorry for them after the hell they have put us through.

WH is acting like nothing has happened - he is just as cheerful and chipper as can be. Don't get it.


"When a heart breaks no it don't breakeven" The Script

Posts: 513 | Registered: Jan 2009
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, May 20th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mommy,
Unfortunately, the acting like nothing has happened is part of the disorder.

Don't try to make sense out of nonsense trying to figure it out. Let it go and ignore him.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, May 21st (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would also call the utility companies, the phone company and especially any credit card companies that are in your own name and ask them to note in your account that you are going through a divorce and that since you are the account holder that you and only you are allowed to make any changes to the account (raising balance limits, changing addresses, etc.) They will do this and it can stop him from sweet talking the girl who answers the customer service line or buddying up to the guy who does and convincing them to help "you all" read: him, out. Believe me, I've been there.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1277 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
mommyblonde
♀ Member
Member # 22548
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, May 21st (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is a very good point-thank you! I can see him being able to sweet talk someone over the phone


"When a heart breaks no it don't breakeven" The Script

Posts: 513 | Registered: Jan 2009
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, May 22nd (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I placed passwords on all the utilities and took his name off the ones that were joint when he cut my water off so that he and the whore could have water without paying a deposit. He also canceled my car insurance. Tried to turn off the phone.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
Dazed In Dixie
♀ Member
Member # 21178
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, May 25th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine even cancelled my Sam's Club membership..

You know..I had been sitting here this weekend missing him and then I started reading more about NPD and I don't miss him anymore. There was one talking about the "rules" and never being able to obey the rules because they were always changing. OMG..that's my life the past 17 years.

And if he found out I liked something, he would stop doing it. That's why I haven't had oral sex in many, many years.

Why did I allow myself to be treated like that? And why do I want to talk about it so much and talk about him so much?? I need to figure out how to move on...


1-26-10 DIVORCED FINALLY
"Infidelity is like cat pee in carpet. And no matter how hard they try, an affair couple will never ever get that stink out. It will always follow them." -DCK

Posts: 742 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Atlanta
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, May 26th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dazed - i think talking about it all and figuring it out is part of moving on! You are trying to make sense of the madness, to realise it wasn't you with the issues like he made you believe.
Even the talking about it will pass. I used to go on and on to everyone I trusted - I must of been such a bore! But now he really only dominates about 5% of my conversations with people and I am hoping that will pass.
It's a natural part of moving on.

Hope everyone is ok.


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, May 27th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dazed, the other thing you will realize is that the rules only applied to YOU. He could do what ever he pleased.

Welcome to the awakening. It's like a breath of fresh air and a slap in the face all at the same time, isn't it?


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, May 27th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like to think of posting here on SI about the asshole as free therapy. Plus it keeps me from calling him alot of the time to bitch him out when he does something to piss me off, which is usually weekly.

I have also noticed that I talk about him alot less IRL.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
somer222
♀ Member
Member # 21377
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, May 27th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like I am one of the lucky ones. I haven't seen or talked to my ex NPD for three months. (yippee!!)

I don't want to know what he is doing and I don't want to know if he is dating. I assume he is as he has left me completely alone. Not one word, which is highly unusual for him.

The other night I got a very sweet email from my former SD. She said she misses me (she's in her early 20's). I told her I'd love to stay in contact with her, too, but we have to make a deal and not talk about her Dad at all.

For a while a few months ago, she was sending me unsolicited updates on his activities.

I feel badly for her. He's her Dad and she loves him but she and I were really close and the divorce has caused her much discomfort. We'll see how it goes.


Posts: 1311 | Registered: Oct 2008
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, May 27th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish that I never had to deal with him again but we have kids together, so it's not possible. Maybe when they become adults I won't have to deal with him. I can only hope. I still have 14 yrs until my youngest is 18.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, May 28th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please see my post in New Beginnings....for any of you old-timers that may remember me and my exNPD Pismire.

Things have come to a head. He hit our daughter, on the way to her shrinks office no less....then made a big scene in the office there.


Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
Dazed In Dixie
♀ Member
Member # 21178
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, May 28th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cerise))) What an NPD ass to hit your daughter. Is she okay?

Okay...on top of everything else I don't understand..here's something else. Through the grace of God I've never shared credit with my STBNPDX. The mortgages on both homes are in his name. He let the house I lived in go into foreclosure and I bought my own house and we moved. Now, he's stopped paying all his bills and is letting the other home we own (that has equity) go into foreclosure. He's screwed his own credit. He's moving in with the OW into a home that she owns. I have my own credit cards and I own my cars. He's not hurting me in anyway by doing this. WHY? How is he getting me by doing this? He told the counselor he would ruin us both but I'm not being ruined. I'm good....so what is he thinking???

And I predict that the OW won't keep him around too long once he moves all his crap over there. She may marry him...but I don't think it will work for long...and then where will he be? He won't even be able to rent an apartment or get utilities because his credit is screwed. How am I hurt? Please someone enlighten me....

And explain to me why I would ever want him back?


1-26-10 DIVORCED FINALLY
"Infidelity is like cat pee in carpet. And no matter how hard they try, an affair couple will never ever get that stink out. It will always follow them." -DCK

Posts: 742 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Atlanta
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, May 28th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cerise,
Please say that the counselor reported that asswipe to Child Protective Services... This kind of crap is what my freak has put me through for the past 18 months.

Be sure to document everything and take pictures of any marks.

I don't know where they get off thinking that they can strike their kids and suffer no consequences. This makes me so angry!

(((((Tribe)))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
mommyblonde
♀ Member
Member # 22548
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, May 28th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uy truly hit home this weekend how N my WH has become-won't go into details but our infant daughter was very sick and I told him I needed to take her to tha doctor. He was mad because he thought he was going to have to take care of our other child and that would mess up his planned schedule for the day-grrr his selfishness is out of control. I said don't worry I would just take them both with me


"When a heart breaks no it don't breakeven" The Script

Posts: 513 | Registered: Jan 2009
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, May 28th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cerise,
I remember....

Hugs to everyone else.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, May 28th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just read your post in NB, Cerise. What a complete NPD asshole he is!!!

What kind of crazy monster hits his daughter causing a bloody nose and black eye? And then to try to pin the blame on her! Exactly who is the adult again?

He has really screwed up big time. Your poor DD. I'm so sorry she's having to deal with this.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
wiswounded
♀ Member
Member # 23928
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, May 29th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank god I found this thread. I have been beating myself over the head trying to understand why my STBXWH considers himself above the law and has traded "down" to an OW with an IQ of room temperature.

We have been trying to "negotiate" our divorce settlement via email and I am at wits end. You see.."he is a self-made man with a high profile career and me being married to him (also working for his business sans pay) for 13 years doesn't entitle me to very much. I am just being a gold-digger and that is "so not like me".

He keeps telling me the maintenance guidelines do not apply to our situation so he isn't going to read them.

I called a halt to the negotiations, requested my lawyer postpone the court date so we can present my very compelling evidence to the judge and let him decide.
My STBXWH was livid!

Meanwhile, NC for several days now and I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Thanks all you NPD victims. I couldn't have done it without you!


XBW - Me
XWH - Creep I used to be married to
Divorce 7-13-09 (State of WI fastest)
"You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you CAN stop them from building nests in your hair"

Posts: 822 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Wisconsin
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, May 29th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cerise, I just posted in that thread. Basically, the police can only go by what they have seen, and all they've seen is a fatjher who disciplined his daughter. CALL 911. If your daughter has a bloody nose and a blackened eye, they will take him into custody and they will forbid him from seeing her. Don't wait on CPS; that's felony assault. Your daughter needs to see that she has a champion -- YOU need to be that champion.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

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