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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Npd Thread Part V II
Siamo Uno
♀ Member
Member # 993
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, April 28th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I signed up for Facebook last night because I have a high school reunion coming up this fall and lots of my high school friends keep in touch via Facebook.

Well guess who I found on there, and using a fake name? My NPD H of course! And I was not able to see his whole profile because I am not on his friends list, but he has one female friend, who is a woman he went to high school with and who works in his building....I don't have a problem with him having a Facebook, but to use a fake name to sign up is fishy, as is the fact that he never told me he had a Facebook account. I told him I was signing up. I am always honest about everything....

Sneaky little bastard!!


"Thou ought to be nice, even to superstition, in keeping thy promises, and therefore equally cautious in making them."


Posts: 2638 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Ohio
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, April 28th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Signing up under a fake name on facebook is just....creepy.

I personally have a profile and it is hidden because I know my ex would look me up if it wasn't. He and the wiferess have profile and have their wedding pictures and the like on there. My kids also have profiles and have them as 'friends'. I can't do that because it would give him and the hag access to me and my account, friend etc. No way, no how.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, April 28th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband claims that he doesn't have me on his friends' lists because I always piss him off with things I put on there. I can't believe his friends are dumb enough to believe that, but they do say that narcissists tend to trade down with friends. The real reason is so that I can't see what he's doing and how many tramps he's picking up and the cute messages he sends them.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
Siamo Uno
♀ Member
Member # 993
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, April 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Veritas,
I was advised by one of my friends not to confront him at this time, but to dig a little deeper and see if I can find out more. Because if I confront he will get even better at hiding things.

All I know is it's very fishy that he has a Facebook he never told me about, and that he used a fake name to sign up...


"Thou ought to be nice, even to superstition, in keeping thy promises, and therefore equally cautious in making them."


Posts: 2638 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Ohio
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, April 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitally don't confront until you are out and safe. The issue with pissing these guys off is that they get much worse and can be violent and you just don't need that in your life.

I know with my ex there is so much I could call him on but none of it really matters. It seemed pressing at the time but in time it is about me and what I need to move on with my life.

I think these nutcases trade down with the friends as well. Once people get a look at who they are they have to make a decision about being in this person's life. Often there are glimplses into who the NPD person is by how they treat the people close to them. How many real friends will stand by and want someone be abused? I know over the years I lost alot of friends because these people had a hard time watching him abuse me and the children. I end up losing the friends because my ex pretty much drove them away.

I sit back and wonder who would sign up online and pretend to be someone else. Really nuttso.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, April 29th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Siamo Uno,
I agree, do not confront him on ANYTHING. It is so not worth it. You need to be very careful right now. If you confront him on anything, you may become emotional and that could cause you to slip on something else your planning. Best to keep still.

You are very fragile right now with all you are working toward. Keep your focus and try not to worry about him. Think about you and your children and focus on getting out / getting him out and staying safe.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Siamo Uno
♀ Member
Member # 993
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, April 30th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't worry. I am not going to confront him until I have all my ducks in a row. Plus I need more information...


"Thou ought to be nice, even to superstition, in keeping thy promises, and therefore equally cautious in making them."


Posts: 2638 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Ohio
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, April 30th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((trying not to worry)))


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Siamo Uno
♀ Member
Member # 993
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, May 1st (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would anyone like to "befriend" my lying H on Facebook? LOL :) I can PM you the details on how to find his profile...

It was just a thought...LOL


"Thou ought to be nice, even to superstition, in keeping thy promises, and therefore equally cautious in making them."


Posts: 2638 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Ohio
whyohwhyohwhy
♀ Member
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, May 2nd (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


how do you all handle talking with other people about your npd?

my friends and family know how nutty he is, but others are just beginning to find out.

I usually try not to discuss these things, but sometimes it's unavoidable.

for example, playdates mother's will say my daughter told them such and such about what her dad did, and they thought that was strange...


I find that when I try to explain things to them, their jaws drop and can't believe he actually did some of the things he really did.

I guess I have been so used to being in crazy world, it no longer phases me, but others are still surprised.


what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced


Posts: 1030 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, May 2nd (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the same problem. By the time I got finished describing the situation, I felt like I was the crazy one! The situation with these nuts is so bizarre, it's impossible to describe what's really going on without sounding a little crazy yourself.

My advice to you would be to say as little as possible. NPD's are so nutty. You never know what they're going to do with any information that might get back to them. (In my case, he actually sued me for slander, unsuccessfully. Still had to get an attorney) Say something like, "He's got alot of problems and can't really go into the details." If they say something that he said that is a lie, say, "The things he says are lies. I don't know why he is doing this." Then stop. As hard as it may be, don't say anything bad about him. You will come out ahead.

Good luck.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, May 2nd (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The more you say about these crazy people to others the more they sometimes wonder about you. I know many people could not believe that my ex was/is as nutty as he is. Only those who have seen him in action over and over can wrap their head around it and even then they wonder what 'you' do to him to make him act so crazy.

I have learned that the less I say the better. Their actions speak louder than words.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 2:56 AM, May 3rd (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex-husband's antics speak for themselves. I have told my close friends and family the full story but I do not say very much to other people. I have become a very private person due to what has happened to me and I find trusting people quite difficult.
Like the others have said let their actions speak for themselves.
We have had a difficult week over here as the kids are quite upset about his re-marriage. Tact was never his strongest point.
I hope everyone is ok.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, May 3rd (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Itsa))) (((kiddos)))


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, May 3rd (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Speaking of these freaks trying to make us look crazy, I got told tonight that I need to quit making shit up.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, May 4th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, who is the freak that's making shit up?

He tells me yesterday on Sat he got an eviction letter from the mortgage company.

So this morning, I call the law firm handling the foreclosure. They haven't sent him anything out. She said that a sheriff sale hasn't even been set yet and they would come by my home as well to serve an eviction notice. Not just through the mail.

So, as I thought, dumbass is making shit up once again.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
Siamo Uno
♀ Member
Member # 993
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, May 4th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H makes shit up all the time, and he also accuses me of making shit up.

It's infuriating. Thank God for therapy. My therapist helps me to cope.


"Thou ought to be nice, even to superstition, in keeping thy promises, and therefore equally cautious in making them."


Posts: 2638 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Ohio
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, May 4th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW: The less you explain, the better. Because then your daughter will be painted with the same brush as her father, and so will you.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
stupidstupidme
♀ Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, May 4th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think sometimes it takes outsiders so long to see what we already know they are capable of... and the more you try to explain, the more they wonder if YOU are the crazy one.

I think just in the past week or so, some other members have been able to really see why I dealt with my X for so long and feared moving on...

I think it was Veritas that said "this is what you dreaded"

YEP.

The one thing in my corner is that my X thinks he is really smarter than everyone else, and he thinks he is above the law and the "rules" of society...

He and his NPD father have always surrounded themselves with people that are not as cunning or bright as them, so they always can come out on top. Smart people they come in contact with do not stay in their lives long.


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19682 | Registered: Aug 2006
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, May 10th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Day, Moms !!!

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
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