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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Npd Thread Part V II
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, March 27th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

KMHU,
Don't you have caller ID at work? If you don't, let all your calls go to VM and call them back. You DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THE PHONE!!

Don't you see? You are allowing her to control you?


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Jade09
♀ Member
Member # 23069
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, March 27th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jade - sounds like you are one of us! Welcome!

Thank you itsbattle! Iím glad I found this place. Just by reading the posts here helps a lot.


Posts: 127 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: USA
Keepmyheadup
♂ Member
Member # 23157
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, March 27th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No doubt...having this place definitely helps you cope with whatever process you choose.

Thanks SI!


Me (BS)-39
Her (WS)-40
OM (her boss)- 50 something
D-Day Nov 26, 2005

Posts: 156 | Registered: Mar 2009
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, March 27th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We signed a separation agreement at a 4 way mediation settlement in October 2006. That day he had a "temper tantrum" in the office. He hit the walls and the tables. They told me to wait until he left and then I went home. They called me the next day to see if I was okay. He has a history of violence.

One item was overlooked by mistake. My stbxh took it and ran with it...since then my legal life has been hell. He fired that lawyer and is currently trying to sue both him and MY lawyer stating they worked behind the scenes to make a deal that was to his disadvantage.

He hired another lawyer. At that point they stated the first agreement was null and void and we had to start over. BUT my lawyer maintained that this agreement was NOT null and void. All that had to be done was revise it with the missing info. It was a simple financial adjustment and didn't really make any difference to the outcome of what stbxh owed me.

But since then he has taken every item on the list and argued it...of course I have had to support my side and it has cost me a lot of money.

For example...I was gifted property by my father years ago. He clearly indicated that this was not an issue...BUT then he asked for one half of the value. I had to have it appraised anyhow.

I own one fourth of the family cottage. He signed off of that about ten years ago. I have the documents. He claimed one half of my quarter. I had to have the cottage appraised.

My mother was so upset by this.

He then knew he couldn't claim said property so he tried another tactic....he had worked on the said property...it isn't even a cleared lot!!!!

I had to get documentation from everyone.

Then he tried another tactic!!!! I had kept said property a secret from him....

Then he said he wasn't going to pay me spousal support because I should be working...why? Because he stalked me on FB and found out that I had taken a trip...and I had joined curves.

The trip...a trip to visit my mom...it took 2 days to travel 7 hours in the car. Curves...I joined and had to quit because I couldn't do it.

I have fibro and am on disability pensions...he went with me to all my dr's appts to get the pensions. He knows how difficult it is for me to work...

I had to submit all my pension and medical info to his lawyer...no freedom of info for medical info if he wants it.

Then he said that I was hiding money....I didn't need spousal support.

It has gone on very long.

Then just before Christmas he fired his second lawyer because .... well we don't know why.

Now he's on his third lawyer...he went to the city and hired from a very expensive law firm. I don't know where he got the money.

And on it goes.....

[This message edited by betterdaysahead at 6:54 PM, March 27th (Friday)]


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not only did he bring the whore to every court hearing. He tried to force her into my kids life. I am sure that pissed the judge off.

Then at the last hearing, we were the judge's first case. It was early in the morning and he ran into us in the hall.

The morons were wearing wedding rings and I'm sure didn't sit to well with the judge either.

The judge came down on him hard about the whore. He also gave him a long lecture about paying support when he was reminded that he has a history of not supporting his kids.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
Jade09
♀ Member
Member # 23069
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Peridot,
How stupid of him to bring her to the court and how inappropriate for OW to be there. That was between you and your H and she has no business to be there. Iím glad the judge realized what was going on .

[This message edited by Jade09 at 11:09 AM, March 28th (Saturday)]


Posts: 127 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: USA
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How stupid of him to bring her to the court and how inappropriate for OW to be there.

Yup. You would think they could figure that out, but thank goodness they don't.

My XNPDH did the same thing. Had his OW at every hearing. She was sporting an engagement ring. I was in a devastated state. Unbeknownst to me, XNPDH was also in the middle of a paternity battle with ANOTHER OW over paying CS to his OC who by that time was 2 yo. I was still in the dark. By the luck of the draw, he had the SAME judge.

How could he NOT see what an idiot he looked like. But in his NPD mind, he thought he looked REALLY COOL. He even told the judge, "Your Honor, I can't help it that these women all want me..."

Keep talking, idiot....


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Keepmyheadup
♂ Member
Member # 23157
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He even told the judge, "Your Honor, I can't help it that these women all want me..."

No f*ckin way this REALLY happened.....Please tell me it isn't so.
LMAO


Me (BS)-39
Her (WS)-40
OM (her boss)- 50 something
D-Day Nov 26, 2005

Posts: 156 | Registered: Mar 2009
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No f*ckin way this REALLY happened.....Please tell me it isn't so.

.........it really happened.

It's almost embarassing (no wait it is) to admit I was ever married to such an idiot.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Jade09
♀ Member
Member # 23069
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He told to the judge THAT? This is priceless
I wonder what went through the judgeí head when he/she heard that.

Posts: 127 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: USA
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sadtoo, I am just speechless!

What the hell was he thinking?

These freaks are just so damn unbelievable. The crap that comes out of their mouths.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Believe it or not, he said it TWICE in a court of law. It wasn't quite the same the second time, but along the same lines. The other time was during a criminal trial. He had been charged with violating my protection order and with harassment.

His current OW/fiance was there as his witness / his liar. OW#1 was there with her attorney because she and XNPDH were still fighting out their custody battle. He had up'ed the ante in that battle and had filed for full custody claiming OW#1 was an "unfit mother". (Don't forget that he IGNORED this little girl's existance for the first two years of her life and denied paternity until forced to do so by the courts) His thinking? Get out of paying child support, get custody and have OW#2 raise the kid.

Sorry, I got off track...

So we're in court for his CRIMINAL problems. OW#1 has an interest because he's such a NUT and trying to present himself as such an upstanding citizen and father of the year type guy....You guys know the drill.

So during the trial, it is OBVIOUS that he and current OW are LYING. He starts to testify and I'm thinking, "Oh goodie...please just let him talk..."

He blathers on and at some point says, "These women are just mad at me and are trying to get me in trouble. See, my wife is upset because she found out about my daughter. Well, actually my daughter's mother is more upset because she didn't know about my fiance'. Now her and my wife are trying to cause trouble between me and my fiance' because they're jealous.

It was unbelievable.

I'm sure that XNPDH has been a laughing stock at the courthouse.

He was arrested about a year ago...again for harassing me. He was sitting outside my house. This time in a company vehicle that by chance was equipped with GPS tracking. I reqested and was granted another protection order. He had the nerve to fight that order. We had a hearing and during his testimony he told this judge, "Sadtoo is a pathological liar, she is constantly trying to get me into trouble by filing false charges against me. She has had me arrested on numerous occasions all because of lies. It was so bad during our divorce that Judge _____ had to warn Sadtoo that if she continued to do that he would put her in jail."

I was like, "Oh good one, Idiot. Why don't you just tell the judge how the legal system works..."

Not only was this judge and our divorce judge VERY good friends, but their wives are sisters. Also, our divorce judge would not have any jurusdiction over any criminal proceeding. Two completely different courts. (Like this judge won't know that)

I guess XNPDH just hoped he could slip that past the judge when he wasn't paying any attention. Geesh!!

Oh I forgot to tell you! He was convicted at ALL of his criminal trials!!


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
somer222
♀ Member
Member # 21377
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! What a nightmare your ex is!

I'm so glad my ex is leaving me alone now! He hasn't tried to contact me for over a month.

Rumor has it that he has a new gf. I feel for her because if she sticks around for any time, she will find out what she is dealing with.

But I'm glad she diverted his attention, at least for now!


Posts: 1311 | Registered: Oct 2008
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, March 28th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nightmare is putting it mild. Since his last arrest and trial I haven't seen him sitting in the street or lurking in the bushes. He did drive by once and I just happend to be walking out to the mailbox and I saw him.

Since he's such a slime and such a liar, I had video surveillance installed. As he went cruising by, I checked my watch to see the time. When I got back in the house I went to the surveillance recorder, captured his stupid face in the stupid vehicle he was driving and emailed it to the current OW/fiance/maybe now wife.

I hear through the grapevine that he completely flipped out and was going down to the courthouse to report that I was going to file another "false report."


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Jade09
♀ Member
Member # 23069
Default  Posted: 1:17 AM, March 29th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG Sadtoo he is unbelievable. Reading your description of that scene in the court and how he dug his own grave I laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes.
After reading about him stalking you though, Iíve read your story in your profile and I went from laughter to his idiocy in the court to horror at what you went through with him.
Iím glad you are free of him.

Posts: 127 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: USA
Dazed In Dixie
♀ Member
Member # 21178
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, March 30th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just realized something...wow.

I've been reading ALOT about NPD...and something dawned on me. Both of my children are VERY smart...testing out in the superior range on IQ tests. My oldest has a learning difference and has had a hard time of it at school. His grades haven't always been that great but after the problem was discovered, he's done much better and it's answered alot of questions. My youngest is the kind that everything comes easy for. He does great in school...he makes friends easy...you get the idea.

Well...STBXNPD and his family have always favored the youngest. I just figured out why...because he makes them look good. The boy skipped 4th grade and is in all gifted classes. He excels in music. It's the whole narcissistic thing...

Does that make sense???


1-26-10 DIVORCED FINALLY
"Infidelity is like cat pee in carpet. And no matter how hard they try, an affair couple will never ever get that stink out. It will always follow them." -DCK

Posts: 742 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Atlanta
Jade09
♀ Member
Member # 23069
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, March 30th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I would say yes, to me it makes sense because I have a similar situation with my youngest boy. All my three children did well in school but the youngest was always the type that exceeds on everything he chose to do, high grades in academics, outstaying performance in sports, very talented writer with his college professors encouraging him to go for publishing, trophies from speech&debate, he is playing more than one musical instrument and with him the list goes on.

As a parent Iím very proud of him but Iím proud of all three of them and he is not getting special treatment from me.

With my H though, the youngest is his favorite. He would give to him everything that kid ask for but it comes with a price. He would use our soní achievements as to create this image of himself as the greatest dad ever who raised his son like I didnít existed and guided him toward excellence.

No matter what it is, a high grade to a test, an outstanding performance on a show, whatever our son achieves the narcissist would make it about himself and not about our kid. Not sure if I make sense here but let me give you an example of what I mean.

After a show where our kid performed very well we went to congratulate him on his performance. My H told to everyone and it was a large group of people surrounding our kid, that he was the one who chose that instrument for our son and how he paid for all those private lessons and how he knew that our son would exceed at that instrument because he, the father, also played that instrument in his youth and things like that. People turned their attention from our son to his father . It wasnít anymore about our soní hard work and talent but about the narcissist. And I may add to that everything he said IT WAS A BIG LIE.

Most of the time during our M, I was a SAHM raising our three children while my H would take care of the family business.
His involvement in raising and taking care of the children was almost nonexistent, that besides providing for them financially .

It is unbelievable how they would take the credit for everything and use everything and everyone including their children to achieve their goal. Unscrupulous, manipulative suckers.


Posts: 127 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: USA
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, March 30th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jade & Dazed,
I can't imagine going through a marriage with an NPD with children involved.

All I can say is thank goodness your children have mothers like you.

(((Big HUGS)))


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Keepmyheadup
♂ Member
Member # 23157
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, March 30th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She lost it on Friday.

E-mails at 9:45 am, 10:50 am.... didn't answer either.

Another e-mail at 1:00 "Did you get my other e-mails?"...didn't answer that one either.

Then she called my work at 1:45 and hung up when I answered.

Then...called my cell at 3:00...I let it go to voicemail....called her back 10 mins later.

Explained that I saw her e-mails but was waaaaay too busy to get to them. Told her I would forward them to myself at home later and answer them then.

She then proceeds to tell me "no problem...It was nothing important anyways".

LMAO! What a loon!

:)


Me (BS)-39
Her (WS)-40
OM (her boss)- 50 something
D-Day Nov 26, 2005

Posts: 156 | Registered: Mar 2009
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, March 30th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is unbelievable how they would take the credit for everything and use everything and everyone including their children to achieve their goal. Unscrupulous, manipulative suckers.

Our youngest used to be my husband's favorite. Now she's apparently a millstone around his neck. But that's not where his game-playing ends. Now I'm a bad parent who doesn't pay attention to her and keeps foisting her off on him. Umm, no dummy, for some reason the child loves you and actually likes to spend time with you. Take it as a compliment and a gift, not as a denigration of me.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

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