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User Topic: Spouses/Partners Of Sex Addicts
sager
♀ Member
Member # 173
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, September 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has been a very long time since I posted here. So many new faces..... the effects of SA are far reaching.

But I wanted to come here and spread just a little hope! It was just about 10 years ago that the signs of SA crept into our marriage. It was about 6 years ago that we finally knew what we were dealing with. Over the course of the 6 years we have dealth with bad therapist, in-patient treatment programs, 12 step programs, a 7 month separation, lots and lots of individual and couples counseling..... but we have come out the other side.

Our relationship has been completely free of any addictive behavior for well over 18 months (we don't keep track any more). We have been able to focus on undoing the damage the SA had on our marriage and our family. While I will never forget the pain that I felt, it is no longer the primary feeling when I wake up in the morning. Should I even say it...... I'm happy.

So you can live through this. You can have a happy life, with our without your SA. Fortunately or unfortunately, time is a great healer.

Sager


married 21 yr.
d-day #1 8/17/01
d-day #2 7/9/11
3 children - 20, 18, and 16
H in addiction recovery
"Well-behaved women do not make history."

Posts: 1192 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: Upstate NY
Mourning123
♀ Member
Member # 19951
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, September 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Sager!

I know some of us who are somewhat new to all this overwhelming SA are very thankful to hear the positive stories!

Welcome to all the new folks on this thread!


Posts: 372 | Registered: Jun 2008
birdwatch
♀ Member
Member # 19978
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, September 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To all new folks,

I am so sorry you have found yourselves here.

It's great to hear from Sager and others who have survived (and even thrived). It provides much needed encouragement to us newbies.

I am 6 months out of D Day 1. To those of you who have just signed up, I wish to tell you things do get a little better.

The first 2 weeks after D Day were HELL. I laid in bed all day, alternating between crying uncontrollably and staring into space. I could not eat or sleep. That's when I went to IC and my family doctor. Picked up anti-anxiety pills and sleeping pills (and did every single STD tests that modern science offers!). I would have collapsed under mental and physical exhaustion but for IC and medication.

Then, I went through a phase for about 2 months of feeling overwhelmed with all the emotions. I wrote down a list of how I felt. There were three columns in one page and I filled up 3 pages. I felt lonely, betrayed, hurt, humiliated, angry (with WS, OW, the world and myself), helpless, disbelief, devastated, hopeless, ashamed, dirty, exhausted, overwhelmed, shocked, revengeful, numb, lifeless, mournful, sad....

What scared me most was that I was experiencing emotions that were contradictory - I thought I was losing my mind. E.g. One minute my self esteem was rock-bottom - I am flat chested, ordinary, not exciting, and chopped-liver. The next moment I felt like god's gift to the world - I am educated, young looking, and did I say morally superior than WS and OWs?

That's when I read After the Affair. It does not deal with SA in particular, but it explores all the emotions I was experiencing. I also signed up for this site, and I simply could not have survived without all the kind people here.

About 3 months out, R began in full force. WS and I attended IC and MC. I read more about SA. We talked, talked, talked. I yelled, cried, monitored. I was desparate to "fix" things and control things.

I am currently, like mourning123, going through an angry and exhausion stage. But even then, I do not feel as depressed and out of control as I did six months ago. Sure, I am still feeling generally miserable, but it is more a nagging pain but not an acute pain, if you know what I mean.

I hope that by sharing my experience with the few of you who have just joined yesterday, you will feel less alone and scared. If you need anything, please do post or PM anyone of us (okay I am volunteering everyone else here, sorry!). The kindness and generosity of everyone in this thread brings tears to my eyes and I wish you would get the support you need here as I did (and am still receiving).

Hugs and kisses.

[This message edited by birdwatch at 12:50 PM, September 12th (Friday)]


* Known WS since 2001. Me: 37.
* D Day 1 - Mar 2008: Discovered cyber/phone sex, dating sites etc
* D Day 2 - May 2008: Discovered more "stuff". WS admitted to one A - my gut says > half a dozen.
* R'ing. IC & MC. WS is sex addict.

Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Toronto, Canada
Mourning123
♀ Member
Member # 19951
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, September 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanted to share information about a movie coming out Sept 26 that my WH's IC is recommending to his group. The movie is Fireproof and it's done by the church in Georgia that produced Facing the Giants if any of you are familiar.

The movie depicts a marriage that is in trouble and part of the trouble is porn addiction.

My WH and I are planning to go see it and thought I would share the information for what it's worth if anyone is interested.

Our week has had it's ups and downs as the anger and exhaustion linger. My WH will travel again next week, so that's a big trigger and anxiety builder for me right now. I am also beginning to stress over the holidays since both families know a little bit about our situation.

I was having a bad night Wednesday and went to take a bath (between the gym and the baths, that seems to be my best opportunity to vent, decompress and regroup). Well, something triggered and the anger hit with a vengence. I don't recommend getting angry while in the tub. I kicked and screamed and then realized how much water was all over the floor. I ended up laughing because of the awful mess I had made. (Maybe I do recommend it just for the laughter...) Just thought I would share the humor of my stupidity!
Next time, the target is my pillow!

Birdwatch, I totally agree with all the emotions. I somehow avoided the self-esteem issues (at least for now) which I find odd, because I've never thought of myself as "a perfect 10" and always felt self conscious for some reason or another. My greatest emotions in the beginning were repulsion and despair. I think the medication is helping me tremendously although the mall is a source of several panic attacks.

Anyone else having issues with malls or large crowds of people?


Posts: 372 | Registered: Jun 2008
somanytears
♀ Member
Member # 18198
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, September 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Any public place is a trigger for me if I am with FWH. Too many women around....its almost painful for me sometimes.

We used to go out for dinner at some fun,lively places but now I choose for us to go to breakfast at a Mom and Pop diner where retired folks tend to congregate. And H sits with his back to the door...and faces me.

Part of R is to spend time together,doing normal couple activities....but for us,even that is a challenge.

No official diagnosis of SA yet,but we have a new MC who is H's new IC as well. I see him leading H down that path...ever so gently....keep us in your prayers.

[This message edited by somanytears at 4:31 PM, September 12th (Friday)]


"Surviving is important,thriving is elegant"
Maya Angelou


Me--BS (54)
Him--WS (58)
Two young adult kids 27 and 22
DDay 02/10/08
Current status:31 years...sigh.


Posts: 912 | Registered: Feb 2008
innerstrength
♀ Member
Member # 19540
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello to everyone new here... (And hello to those who are long timers, but haven't posted in awhile...)

I am glad we are back online again! I started to read the thread and had to go out of town before the hurricane hit, and then I tried to get back on to give a welcome to everyone and I couldn't!

A HUGE thank you to those who are checking in to let us newbies know that they're making out the other side of this nighmare we're living in... It really does help to hear the successes. It keeps me going some days, knowing that there is hope!

To everyone who is new to this forum- Welcome and hello.

We are here to support and learn from eachother and I could not be more grateful to all of these wonderful people who have helped light a path down a very dark alley for me.

I have been given the best advice on this forum and my H's IC (a CSAT) keeps giving him the same advice I've been hearing on this forum for months now...

Thank you all so very much for your support and encouragement.

Good luck to all of you out there...


Me: BS
Him: WS,SA
D-Day #1: 10/22/05
D-Day #2: 4/27/08
In R, LOTS of counseling this time!
I'm finding out day by day how strong I can be... I wish I never had to get to this self-discovery...

Posts: 189 | Registered: May 2008
SorrowHeart
♀ Member
Member # 18474
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex dropped by earlier today, telling me that the kids and I need to get out of town until they capture the husband of the OW, who has taken off with their younger son. They think he might be coming our way. Later tonight, the police detachment in that man's home town called me to reassure me that the police here are keeping an eye on my home, and just to make sure everything is locked up tight.

I am pissed. The ex's sleazy lifestyle choice is affecting my kids in a negative way. I fired off an email to the ex's family, begging them to kick the ex's butt to the curb, so he can get the help he needs (I suspect a sex addiction). In that email, I included the wacked email the OW sent to me after our marriage broke up; she said a lot of things to incriminate herself in that email, and I think his family needs to see it. I sure in heck don't want her near my kids. She's a mentally ill skank herself.

In the spring, I received a registered letter from the OW's husband, and he apologized for partially causing the break up of our marriage, and said he was distraught because his wife wouldn't stop seeing my ex. They were all swingers together. He and the OW had a so called open marriage. This guy was upset at my ex, and said "this monster needs to be stopped". Yeah, buddy, I feel the same way about your wife.

That marriage collapsed recently, something I didn't know until today. I'm trying to feel sorry for him, but can't. He allowed his wife to have sex with my ex for years before I found out (my ex was also having sex with many others). And to think she was lording it over me about how great her marriage was, and how she had two and I had none.

Ha! The Karma bus just ran over the two of them!


Living one day at a time.

Mom of three

DD: September 23, 2005

Divorced April 10/08


Posts: 163 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Alberta
Ingrid
♀ Member
Member # 20126
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello all.

Living with a sex addict is quite painful. I am learning it's really more about living with a "sin addict". And, I'm about ready to not deal with it any longer. The excuses, the "slip ups", the blaming it on their "addiction", etc.....

My husband has been a sex addict for the duration of our marriage--18 yrs. It's been an on again/off again thing, but just found his problem escalated to him going to strip clubs 3 years ago, finding one stripper of interest, and "seeing" her since April. YCCH! This broke my heart to no end.

We were separated this summer for 6 weeks, and he moved home the end of July. Since then, there's been about 5 instances still, such as my finding out he bought this stripper a cell phone and him refilling it with money! GASP! I'm at the end of my rope with him and his supposed problem. It's making me sicker and sicker of him. It's been one month now, when he went back to her again. He swears he's over it, but I seriously wonder.

Anyway, for me, I need to find a job, and be financially self-sufficient once again. This is where I'm at.
Anyway, I really have begun to learn that sex addiction is really more of a selfish addiction to sin more than anything else. I'm tired of blaming it on an addiction similar to alcohol. It's not.

I feel it's clear if a person chooses sin over their marriage. Let them wallow in it, and see where they'll end up. Proverbs 5 and 6 says it all.


Posts: 232 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: L.A. CA
Mourning123
♀ Member
Member # 19951
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Ingrid,

Is your WH in IC for this? Are you?

My WH and I are seeing Christian counselors who specialize in this area. It is a sinful, selfish choice, but I think the choices lead to addictive behaviors based on chemical releases and the choices and actions then lead to intense shame and guilt. (or some such psychobabble)

Your WH has to want to work on his problems and the marriage in order for it to work. You alone can not do it.

I agree that the Bible verses you mentioned say it all. Christ has been my (our, as my WH came to know Him through this) strength. For I could not get through this without Him.

I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just don't know where this tunnel leads.

I'm having a really rough week, as I have a birthday coming up along with the one year "anti-versary" of WHs ONS.

So the tears keep coming! But while I cry, there is one thing I know for certain. I WILL BE OK...eventually!

Hugs to you.


Posts: 372 | Registered: Jun 2008
PoorTwistedMe
♀ Member
Member # 20956
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oncein love:
I am coming off a very bad week. I just don't know if I want to be in relationship with someone who could do this to me.
I know my WH is a SA. He is remorseful and ashamed of his behavior. He is NC, going to IC and about to pick up his 90-day chip in SA. D-Day was 11 weeks ago.

I know intellectually that his behavior has nothing to do with me. I know... he suffers from an emotional and spiritual sickness...

But I just can't get past the fact that he lied to me for six year. How do I stay married to someone I can't trust. How do I behave in the marriage? Do I act like nothing happened? Do I have sex? Right now, I am enraged and grieving and I can't hold it in.

He is doing his best to love me through these waves of grief but I have a hard time accepting any of his love as genuine.

I can really relate here. My story began on Aug 14th. My WH has been active in his "recovery" (goes to meetings everyday), communicates openly with his sponsor, is working on his steps, etc... Even with all his efforts I am still unyielding and am always on guard for another ball to drop. I dont know how I will ever trust again either... my WH has been lying to me for 12 years now (our whole relationship is a sham)... I dont know how to behave from one moment to the next- but I think that is normal for the situation we are in. I often find myself saying "Is this really my life?" seems so bizarre & surreal.


Twisted

DDay- 14 Aug 08, 16 Sept 08, 22 Sept 08, 7 Oct 08, 27 & 28 April 09
Trickle Truth is Brutality


Posts: 150 | Registered: Sep 2008
cer
♀ Member
Member # 1255
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can anyone give me advice on how to treat the SA who appears to be getting help and is good at convincing everyone that he is when I know he isn't?


Divorced after 26 yrs of marriage and a decade of infidelity. Thank God it's finally over.

Posts: 94 | Registered: Mar 2003
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Twisted,

Give yourself time. This is still pretty new and I'm sure your head is still spinning. I'm more than a year out from learning about the SA (close to 2 years from learning about an affair, which I thought was the only one) and I'm amazed at how "normal" our life seems. My husband has been stalwart in his commitment to me and our marriage, which gives me the room I need to work out my own trust issues, which are HUGE after all this. Of course you're waiting for the other shoe to drop -- your mind is telling you that your survival depends on you being ready. As time goes on, with your own healing you'll begin to trust yourself again and your ability to handle what comes your way. I'm still working on trusting my husband...some days is easier than others. But I do trust myself now. I know, without a doubt, that I will be okay whatever choices he makes in his life. And that's incredibly liberating. It frees you from relying on his recovery for your happiness.
So keep on reading and getting counselling and whatever else you need to do to get yourself feeling back on solid ground. And cut yourself some slack. You've been dealt a whopper and it'll take time to absorb what it all means to you, your history, your future...

Cer,
I don't think you can do much but focus on yourself and proceed based on what you know to be true -- not what you're being "sold" or "told". If you don't think he's sincere in his recovery, then regardless of what anyone else thinks, you need to determine what that means for you and your choices. Take the focus off him (as aggravating as his behaviour must be to you) and put it back on you and your healing.


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ingrid wrote:
Anyway, I really have begun to learn that sex addiction is really more of a selfish addiction to sin more than anything else. I'm tired of blaming it on an addiction similar to alcohol. It's not.

Ingrid, I'm sorry you're in such a bad place. We've all been there. But I have to tell you that you are wrong about this. I will admit I went through feeling the same things but I was wrong. This is a disease. It IS just like alcoholism or any other addiction. Have you read "Mending a Shattered Heart?" You should. Are you seeking counseling? Is your husband? I think counseling with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) would really help you understand this better.


PoorTwistedMe wrote:

My story began on Aug 14th. My WH has been active in his "recovery" (goes to meetings everyday), communicates openly with his sponsor, is working on his steps, etc... Even with all his efforts I am still unyielding and am always on guard for another ball to drop. I dont know how I will ever trust again either... my WH has been lying to me for 12 years now (our whole relationship is a sham)... I dont know how to behave from one moment to the next- but I think that is normal for the situation we are in. I often find myself saying "Is this really my life?" seems so bizarre & surreal.

Twisted everything you're feeling is completely NORMAL. Have you read "Mending a Shattered Heart" you really need to. There is a whole chapter explaining that the addict and the spouse are rarely at the same place in recovery. We are often "behind" on the healing curve and it's very hard and frustrating. But again, it's NORMAL. Are you in counseling? I think it would help you tremendously if you're not already. I can tell you that I felt EXACTLY the same way a couple years ago. If your husband sticks with his recovery and maintains his sobriety (is he completely sober?) things will change for you if you work on yourself. My SA has been sober for 2 years and we are doing fantastically. I can't pinpoint why I finally turned the corner exactly. I think time and healing and a lot of hard work on MY stuff. I didn't think I'd ever get here but I did. My marriage is stronger than it's ever been and I am more deeply in love with my husband than ever. You should read my profile to understand how profound this all is.

cer wrote:

Can anyone give me advice on how to treat the SA who appears to be getting help and is good at convincing everyone that he is when I know he isn't?

I think I covered this in my answer to your PM but I'll say it again here to help others. You need to work on YOU and detach from him. He either is or isn't recovering but you cannot control that. You can only control what YOU do. You mentioned in your PM that he wants you to "pretend everything is ok" and you know that is NOT right. It's toxic. Don't engage in that.

Everyone
Read Eternaloptimist's posts, she's giving a lot of good advice and insight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little update on us. Things are going great. I'm 9 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good. We're both a little overwhelmed at the moment but doing really well managing our stress and maintaining our healthy relationship. Monday is our 7th wedding anniversary. It will be very low key. I think our daughter will stay with my folks on Saturday night and we'll see a movie and grab some dinner, nothing fancy but we haven't seen a movie in ages. We may take a drive in the mountains to look at the changing leaves this weekend too.
7


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
birdwatch
♀ Member
Member # 19978
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry if this is a stupid question...

The six to nine months before D Day, sex life between WS and me was virtually non-existent. He was "tired" or it was "not a good time". Now, he did not and has never blamed me. In fact, he always think sex with me is good, and I believe him.

What I don't understand is, since he is a sex addict, wouldn't he have wanted MORE sex with me (and every women came his way), instead of less? I know he did not have sex with them every day, likely once a week if that (75% of his addiction was phone and cyber). So if he was sex crazed, why did he not want to have sex with me (and granted, with other women as well)? Why was he only sex crazed in wanting to have sex with OTHER women but not me?

Am I going crazy?


* Known WS since 2001. Me: 37.
* D Day 1 - Mar 2008: Discovered cyber/phone sex, dating sites etc
* D Day 2 - May 2008: Discovered more "stuff". WS admitted to one A - my gut says > half a dozen.
* R'ing. IC & MC. WS is sex addict.

Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Toronto, Canada
Mourning123
♀ Member
Member # 19951
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7yrs & EternalOptimist...you gals give me the hope and strength to get through this! Thanks for showing all of us that their is hope and reminding us to work on "Me". As I know that whatever happens, whether we stay together or split, that I'll be OK.

Birdwatch,
Sorry you are having another rough day! I think we are on the same rollercoaster sometimes with our ups and downs as this week has been particularly difficult. My WH admitted that on the days he wasn't interested or turned me down, that he had "taken care of things on his own" earlier in the day. He talked about the rush of the chase and cycle and also his fear of rejection from me if I found out the fantasy. No, you aren't crazy, but unfortunately I don't have an answer.
Hugs to you!


Posts: 372 | Registered: Jun 2008
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

7 --

Thanks for the update. I'm so glad you're still doing well and that the baby is growing healthy and strong!

Birdwatch and Mourning,
I think we tend to think sex addiction is about sex (not surprisingly), but from what I understand, it's more about numbing feelings and sex is simply how SAs do that. By engaging in the "chase" and "conquest", they get feelings of invincibility or strength, which allows them momentarily to stop feeling weak, pathetic, bored, lonely, whatever. Sex with us required intimacy or at least opened up the possibility of intimacy, which is terrifying for an SA. If we really knew them, we couldn't possibly love them, tends to be their core belief. Intimacy is terrifying for them.
I recall reading that many sex addicts aren't even that crazy about the sex act itself. They like the release...and they like the escape from their feelings.
Not sure if that helps, but comparing sex with you with masturbation/sex with meaningless others is really apples and oranges.


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
Mourning123
♀ Member
Member # 19951
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EternalOptimist

What you said about "By engaging in the "chase" and "conquest", they get feelings of invincibility or strength, which allows them momentarily to stop feeling weak, pathetic, bored, lonely, whatever. Sex with us required intimacy or at least opened up the possibility of intimacy, which is terrifying for an SA. If we really knew them, we couldn't possibly love them, tends to be their core belief. Intimacy is terrifying for them." Is so dead on.

As my WH and his IC dig deeper into this, that is what he says...he was/is terrified that I won't/don't love him anymore because of this. He's also acknowledged the weak, bored and lonely thoughts that began his cycling. The more I read about this, the harder it is for me, but the books really do make sense...and it's not just an excuse. I wake up every day and wonder how I got here.


Posts: 372 | Registered: Jun 2008
UnbearablySadd
♀ Member
Member # 18150
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How long is it until a new thread gets started with this? It is hard to follow conversations when they are pages and pages long.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGQd8M5t4Ao&NR=1

it's all about James Hunter, now ;)

And here's the 180 link:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=256092


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: This side of R that side of S
UnbearablySadd
♀ Member
Member # 18150
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there any place where folks recommend going to read about categories of sexual addiction? I found a good one on Sunday, and now can't find it again.

For us, DD 1 was the affair. DD2 was last Friday when i found out that he was using the viagara to masturbate to porn (magazines and videos, mostly magazines).

The hard thing is his therapist is all about how "normal" it is for men to masturbate to porn. I said, "maybe, but not when it IS the cake insteed of the icing on it!!"

Turns out he has affairs becuase the "naughtiness" factor allows him to have person to person sex.

If I had known ANY of this I'd never have gotten married. In fact I did not WANT to get married, i did it for him, and to be considered "safe" in my career (eg a "good" woman). I work in a very consverative field.

Any advice welcomed. Invitations to PM ... I apologize but these long threads with so many different topics inside them are uber confusing and frustrating for me!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGQd8M5t4Ao&NR=1

it's all about James Hunter, now ;)

And here's the 180 link:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=256092


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: This side of R that side of S
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, September 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The hard thing is his therapist is all about how "normal" it is for men to masturbate to porn.

His therapist is a moron who obviously knows nothing about sex addiction! If your husband is a sex addict he needs to see a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist).

Has your husband been diagnosed or do you just think he's SA?

Sending you a PM too.
7


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
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