Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: SoCalBoy (43217)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs XI I
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh,. man, UKgirl, why can't she just leave you all alone!!?? That would make me insane. Right after dday I knew that she would get in touch with hi once or twice and it was simply painful waiting for it to happen.

The not seeing her has been such n issue for me. Especially sinc H told me she was a student on my floor and saw me and was in the same area as me for the day. Her knowing me and the opposite not being true just made me sick. And at work I am constantly looking at name badges just in case I run in to her. So to see her face was helpful. Atleast I know what to look for.

H was describing the affair to someone online just after it happened (love keylogger) and was basically saying what an ass he was but that this older woman at work was hot and he was stupid. Of course all I saw was that she was hot. She is not. She isn't ugly but she is just regular looking. I would think you would be a great picture of yourself up on facebook and so I am not impressed. I had her so built up in my mind, you know?

I don't thin I have the deceptive energy to open an account under an alias and try to spy on her. I think I need to just let it go.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heís away down south. He turned his phone on this am and Ö beep, beep. One from her sent around midnight last night. So he texted me to warn he was forwarding it to me. Then he did. Then he rang me asking if I had been doing anything! I said no, have you? Thatís when he said he felt like he was going to throw up when he saw it. So we decided she was probably drunk. But itís put me on alert. Again. Stupid bitch. Get out of my life!!!!!

I think I need to just let it go.

Good idea. Sheís so not worth wasting your emotional energy on.

(((((Shirley))))) Iíve seen EOís post too. At least he knows itís coming up, but I donít know if thatís a good thing or not. My H was aware it was around ďthat dateĒ and he was ok about me having a meltdown. He tried to make it better. So, let him be there for you, he wants to do the right things.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UK,

What would you think about calling OWH and letting him know? I sure would want to know if my H was contacting the OW again.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SoL,
I dont know what OW2 looks like, and it does drive me crazy. I have also built her up in my head, and so wish I could just see once what she looks like. Unfort(??)H deleted all her photos and wiped his disks after dday. Which is sort of good in a way, cos the thought of keeping hers (with his)naked body in my mind forever, would have make me .

So good decision on letting it go, cos it is not worth any more. At least you now know, and would recognise it. Now stay away from facebook!

***
(((Ukg))))

What is that deranged woman texting him about?
Hasnt she one ounce of self respect left??
I would definetly let her H know.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Morning All

UK,
What would you think about calling OWH and letting him know?

Good idea. I think she has definitely asked for that. Any repercussions that happen would be her own fault not yours UK.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA!!!!
Dont go. Stay and play a bit.
I have missed you so much.
Have you kept in touch with ROBT or OTC or any of the "oldies"? They dont visit anymore, and I wonder about them.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll play 'cause I don't feel up to housework today.

I wish I had heard from some of the oldies. I so hope that they are doing good. OTC is sorely missed. She was soooo strong. If you happen to see this OTC, you can be proud of who you are and what you added to this forum. And I'm so glad that you have moved on with your life. Nothing but the best of luck to you.

And watch out girls, you never know when that darn old Sarge might peep in on what's going on in here. She booted me and hopefully I've finally got my act together. I feel so much stronger now.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh UKG - that would just piss me off to no end. I think your H's reaction is a great sign. It is as if this woman is a trigger for him of what he WAS and the thought of that makes him sick. I think it is a very good sign that he was so immediately open and honest about it and that he had a visceral negative reaction to any contact from her.

Sorry, I have just been lurking and not posting. I have obviously been spending a lot of time thinking about the upcoming anti-versary. I am glad he posted about it because he hasn't said a thing to me and I thought he had forgotten or missed that it was near. It is amazing how much rawer and more hurt I feel as that day approaches. It is almost like a flashback to last year. I have been struggling and don't feel like I can support you guys so have just been in hiding. I hope he gets some good advice because I think it is going to be ugly.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is that deranged woman texting him about?
Usual crap. Perhaps Iíd like to have her H forward all the emails and texts blah, blah. If she hadnít kept it all for her H to find, she could have minimised it like my H has done. Maybe she didnít mean to send it. She must have thousands of texts on her phone. Mad. Quite mad. If she does send my any ďevidenceĒ of how much in lurve they were, FWH and I will deal with it together.

Hasnt she one ounce of self respect left??
No, it appears not. Nor has she any dignity, empathy, remorse, pity, guilt or regret. She is full of hate at how her life has not turned into the fairy tale ending. Tough shit.

I would definetly let her H know.
I have.

Thanks for the support. I was just so surprised, (even a little sorry for FWH) then pissed off, then angry and now I think what a bloody cheek. But I wonít let it intrude. The womanís a total basket case (is that a prerequisite to being an OW?).

OTC - did the bumper sticker about cowgirls remind you of her? Back on the main concourse of life and strutting her stuff, I expect.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA,
I think of you when I am tempted to log in here are work. Remember how you used to duck from your boss and sneak in here!
I'll admit though, I am too chicken to do that. And the last thing I would need is for people to know anything too personal about me.

So, have you put on any weight? The last I remember, you were trying really hard to, and I was trying hard NOT to.

And whats it like being a SAHM? I used to roll my eyes at you when you used to wish for that, cos I couldnt wait to get out of the house! And there you are, and here I am...

Ok, enough reminiscing..back to the regular broadcast.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, have you put on any weight?
Too much!!! Thanks for asking!!! I'll have to put you on my bad list for that one. Seriously though, I'm proud that I have put some weight back on b/c it was the LTA and all it's aftermath that caused the weight to come off. To me, it's a sign that I am getting on the other side of this thing. KWIM?

I love being a SAHM!!! I love the freedom to come and go as I please, when I get ready to. LH what kind of job are you doing, if you don't mind me asking?

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me, it's a sign that I am getting on the other side of this thing. KWIM?

FSA, yes I do.
And thanks for not asking...but I am still battling with the scales.Arrgh.

LH what kind of job are you doing, if you don't mind me asking?

FSA, after the hard time I gave you from before, you can ask me anything!

I am a social worker, for children with disabilities. I came in totally from the cold, as I had no experience in this field at all, and my head had been 12 years full of recipes and childrens games and medical tips.
I tell you, I still get a thrill every time I answer the phone or get a professional mail. And the paycheck at the end...
...its not alot, but its mine, you know. Ok, its ours, but its mine. No more sucking up to H and waiting anxiously to ask him for money. I am going to start choking up now, just thinking that...

***
I am so annoyed right now.
H gets a call from his uncle to say that they want to meet up with SIL, who they heard is coming on SAt night!!!
She has not told us; we know nothing!
And we planned to go away next week, and I will personally pull apart anybody who suggests we postpone it. But then the thought of her waiting here when we get back...
I know he is annoyed and embarassed as well, but he wont show it cos its his family. Usually he looks for a reason to take it out on us..so I am waiting...with a bat in my hand.

After the stunts he pulled last week, I have gone very cold with him. I feel nothing. He has tried a few times to get "cosy" and I felt nothing. Now sex is a very impt part of our lives, and I dont know whether to panic or not. I feel nothing. I am not fighting with him; I am not being funny or anything. I am jst polite.
On the good side, last night was the 4th night in a row where I went to sleep without sleeping pills.
Mmmm..


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me again.

Now I am soo pissed off.

App she lands tomorrow, and is going to be visitng us. And I have just been informed that his aunt and uncle are coming as well, so i am suppsoed to entertain them all.

No fucking way.
I had planned the day with the kids.There is no fucking way I am staying home, cleaning and cooking for people who do not have the deceny to even let me know they are comign (I was informed by another reliabel source).
Whta did they think? just rock up at the door, adn "surprise!!"

And to top that of, H just left ofr his IC appt. Beofre he left, I asked him fi he could talk abotu what had happ last week and thsi week, and how its affecting us. He said he didnt think that it was, and why didnt I talk to him instead of wanting him to speak ot his IC.

I said we obviously have a communctaion problem, and this is too volatile for us to tackle it by oruslves.it would just be blown way out and i dotn want to joepardise the holiday next week.

To which he replied:
"If we cant even communicate, what is the point of this M. this M is def over. You can fuck off. This M is past over." or the like.

I told him, that I wont tak e that to heart, but when he really means, tell me slowly in my face instead of walking off.

I know the not smoking is getting to him. I know his whole family crap is getting to him. And his sister pulling this crap, will def be upsetting him.

Still...
Asshole.

Sorry about the spelling.


aarrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lostheart)))

I am not in a good place myself so excuse me if my post is filled with anger but WTF????!!!!!!!!!
This complete and utter bitch who has only done hurtful things to you is landing in 48 hours and has not let you know. Guess what she would find when she arrived at my house....darkness and locks. There would be no one there and the place would be locked up tight. I, of course, would have other longstanding plans and would have left on Friday with the family for the weekend.

No fucking way.
I had planned the day with the kids.There is no fucking way I am staying home, cleaning and cooking for people who do not have the deceny to even let me know they are comign

You must stick to your guns on this one. YOU had plans with your KIDS. Do not let the toxic SIL upset this. Have your H make plans for everyone to go out to a restaurant for the evening....no cooking or cleaning. If it absolutely must be at your house, hand your H a list of everything that he must do in order to get everything ready and then go enjoy the day with the kids.

As far as your H's reaction:
If we cant even communicate, what is the point of this M. this M is def over. You can fuck off. This M is past over." or the like.

Ummmmm, WHO isn't communicating!!!! HIS FUCKING FAMILY isn't communicating. He is just taking out his frustration with his SIL on you and that is so unfair.

God I wish I was closer to you so I could come by and whack your H upside the head with a 4X4 cedar post!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that I haven't been keeping up with all the posts. And that from someone else it is always from the outside looking in, and it's always easier said than done. Blah blah blah.

To which he replied:
"If we cant even communicate, what is the point of this M. this M is def over. You can fuck off. This M is past over." or the like.

I would not put up with this for one second. The only reason that my marriage is still holding together is that my H has been trying to hold it together. True enough he gets upset with me at times, but never would he talk to me like that. And on the flip side I don't talk to him like that either.

I think I would have to call his bluff if it were me. But don't listen to me 'cause I could steer you in the wrong direction.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

App she lands tomorrow, and is going to be visitng us. And I have just been informed that his aunt and uncle are coming as well, so i am suppsoed to entertain them all.

My goodness. LostH, donít they have any manners? Itís all very well asking and expecting family to host and entertain, but to not plan ahead, some sort of notice? I think itís unbelievably rude and presumptuous. I would suggest that you say you are planning what you can around them, but you have made other plans for this holiday period that you are not prepared to put aside. Family is important, but not to the point where other members dictate your life.

"If we cant even communicate, what is the point of this M.

Sounds a bit one sided. Fair and reasonable. Compromise for a satisfactory outcome. Discuss and evaluate pros and cons. Him telling you is none of that. So sorry, Lost.

All too much in your face and in your house and in your space. Even a saint would say ďenoughĒ.

Lemme give you a hug (((((((((LostH)))))))))


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yikes, I can't read fast enough to keep up.

UKG, I wrote and lost a lengthy PM to you just a few minutes ago. Is it early morning in the UK?

I may never leave this PC today! going back to reading last 2 pages. {{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Shirley and FSA.

Shirley, H and I havent even spoken about it, as I only found she is coming tomorrow after he left.

She has their cousin picking them up (their cousin who was a WW,then D'd her H, who the "m'd" OM (even tho he STILL has a wife, and who acc to gossip, has NO idea about her..they live in another country and travel..he was her high school sweetheart or something..yeeuch), so you can only imagine how well SIL (herself a WW), cousin and H will get along...conference of the cheating hearts!

He is just taking out his frustration with his SIL on you and that is so unfair.

I know.

I want to be big about this, but after the way he played me last week, I am little pity for him. Shame. If only he had been more supprotive last week, I really would have been there for him now.

God I wish I was closer to you so I could come by and whack your H upside the head with a 4X4 cedar post

Shirley, if you were closer, I would gather you and UKg up, and we will go away for the evening and give each other BBIIIIGGGG hugs.


FSA

I think I would have to call his bluff if it were me

Nah, I wont. I know he doesnt mean it. Me calling him in on it would just make this worse. Rather be calm and collected.
Ok, me try.

***
Hey Ukg.
You are doing really well with snaggletooths contact. Well done you.
Darn she's sad. Talk about the karma bus...


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((ukg))))))
BAck at ye, girlfriend!

lostsoul, its now 20.02 here. Waaayy past the morning.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks LH. I am soooo time change challenged!

I am Central Standard Time (Daylight Savings til October, I think).

So UK is 6 hrs later.

My sister and son & d-i-l are 2 hours earlier than me.

When my FWH works at the head office he is one hour later than me.

Last week FWH & I were in Hawaii, 5 hours earlier than our home time. I left there at 5:10p Thurs and got to Mnpls MN


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.