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User Topic: Long Term Affairs XI I
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

one of those nasty little men that gets off on the anxiety of others

trying to get her in a position to be "indebted" to him.

OMG, it is like you two are reading my mind. He is Divorced. Quite frankly, I don't who was a bigger fuckup, him or his wife. Both trust fund babies, both entitled. He is too fucking smart for his own good....really. He is probably genius/mensa material but he is short, fat, bald and single. His current girlfriend (who conveniently lives in another state) is the weirdest chick I have ever met. My kids hate her - first time they met her they said she was "scary". Amazing the radar that kids have.

Yes, he is messing with us big time. Time for H and I to have a little heart to heart with him which might involve me extracting his live beating heart and stomping on it so he can understand what I feel like.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He'll never understand what you feel, Shirley. People like that aren't capable of it.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS,

My advice (after dealing with many toxic people, including in the family) is to try to set up the boundaries with your H's friend to protect yourself. BUT sometimes instead of telling the person, you can implement protective measures. Example- you can slowly distance yourself from them without them sometimes even really noticing. Usually I would say change your H's email addy, but if this guy works with your H that would be tough. You have to decide if you want to see the emails and if so, H should agree to send them to you immediately. While I realize your H is NC, this is a bad situation- too many triggers for you. If you guys think this H would actually listen, you could ask him nicely to not send that stuff. But frankly, I agree with BT_ this guy is probably ignorant and/or gets off on trouble-making. SO you may have to deal with it as these things come up but work as a team with your H if you can.

SO sorry this is coming up.

SOheartbroken, I'm the infamous one that you might get mixed up with But I try to sign off with the initials HB (which has led to a funnier mix-up, because HB on these sites usually means hysterical bonding i.e. sex) Welcome to our "Tribe" and you are getting good advice here, so I hope you stay with us. Surviving a LTA is not only devestating, but is really also very isolating- especially if you decide to stay in the M.

Well, guys, MIL is still set to arrive on Thursday- so wish me luck. I'm not positiveyet where she will be staying, because as usual my H does not get clear communication from her. Apparently months ago she asked if she could stay here (she is coming for our kid's birthday party from out of state)and H (the noncommittal one) says "we'll see"- didn't discuss this with me, really, which caused the big blowout. So then he never had any other conversations with her, and she has NOT mentioned booking her hotel (which she usually does), so now it's a mystery. I don't want H to bring it up at this point, because I don't want her cancelling a hotel if she has one thinking that we've invited her. It's all just a mess- so we wait and see. Last time she was here at the beginning of the year she was causing the same old problems and talked crap about me to H and SIL. He stands up for me, but doesn't seem to understand why I wouldn't want her staying at our house. To him, he is giving her "chances" to become a better person, wants a relationship with her, and has assured me he set up boundaries and that he and I are a team. This is just something we can't agree on- and he actually offered to go back to MC to address this issue. I may take him up on it, but it royally pisses me off because my H tells me I am a "grudge-holder" Hmmmmm.... imagine that
So, it sucks because our R is going great in all other respects- just this Inlaw issue that is a wedge.

Well, guys, I'm off to move some stuff. This week we are also moving stuff out for FIL and the next few days are going to be exhausting. I may be MIA from posting, but will lurk/read and think of you all.

Hugs,
HB

[This message edited by hearbroken at 10:28 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday)]


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB - ( )

We are formulating the following plan. We will sit down with him (dinner or something that looks innocuous) and tell him that neither of us want him to talk about this woman nor forward anything she may have sent him. If he asks why, we will just tell him it is our wish and we assume that he will respect it...period. I have already started that distancing process with him. We have not done anything socially with him since dday. We used to get the kids together since they are of similar ages but he is having severe behavioral issue with them (the oldest just got sent away to a special school for drug and booze problems) so we haven't had them together in years. As far as NC with him, not possible. His office is near my Hs on executive row. They must interact for work. We all attended the same college so lots of mutual friends. BUT, he is, as of now, way outside a very tall wall I have erected. He is a dangerous person and he will not mess with me or my family.

So is this official "toxic family member visiting month". I feel like about half the tribe has some hated family member descending on their household to cause havoc. I will be keep my fingers crossed for all of you.

ETA: the good news is H is in complete agreement on all of this. Agrees to tell me of any incidents of this type, is willing to show me emails, etc. He is not happy about this either as he is trying very hard to R and this is messing it up.

[This message edited by hurtshirley at 12:24 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday)]


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
soheartbroken
♀ Member
Member # 19307
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks HB, good to throw things by others going through the same thing. Yes, nickname HB made me laugh when I first saw it.

I have been playing around in f&g for the last couple of days. Funny stuff!

[This message edited by soheartbroken at 3:01 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday)]


If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.

Posts: 671 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Houston
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS, you know, I could go try and figure this stupid computer out myself but I don't want to. I know not everything is about the affair, but I always take care of everything and this is just another one of those things. I called last time when he wanted to buy a new computer and spent 5 hours on the phone and found out we only needed a $70 part instead of a new computer. H now thinks we need a new computer again. I told him to call Dell first and they are great at helping. Says that's a pain in the ass. Umm, yeah, you're point?? $1,000 computer would be a pain in my ass too so call and see if there is an easier fix. Nah, I think we might just need a new computer. Honestly, is my husband the only one who is this freakin' stupid???? Pick up the damn phone! like' she's phonophobic or something, never wants to use it. Hmm, managed to talk to her daily, didn't you. He swears she did most of the talking but whatever. It all just irritates me. Grow up and deal with stuff.

Phew, didn't think that would hit a nerve did ya? LOL

((((soheartbroken))) You know, I am just plain sorry you fit in here. LTA sucks.

Sometimes there is nothing like a sex-induced coma.

OK ,wasn't expecting that one! Too funny and congrats to you! LOL I actually so not sleep after sex. i can enjoy it while it's happening and then all the did he do that with her crap creeps in my brain and I usually end up mulling that over for a long while.

Again, typing as I read. Seems to be the only way I can hold a thought in my head.

(((Hurtshirley))) I hate this shit. My H has done the same thing. He has never cheated again or anything that far, but not disclosing that kind of stuff just undermines any trust they have built up. They are so stupid, honestly. As far as this coworker/friend nonsense. I would not give him the power. Just have H delete any emails involved without response and/or forward them to you. He is trying to get a rise and cause trouble and it's not worth it. He wants attention and if he doesn't get it from you all then he will look elsewhere.

As I type this the 'married but looking' website has popped up three time. I guess this site links to that when your spyware i not working. lovely. told him about it and how it upsets me but has he called? No. Honestly, sometimes I think being a lesbian would be easier, except I am not the least bit attracted t women. roflmbo


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pick up the damn phone! like' she's phonophobic or something, never wants to use it. Hmm, managed to talk to her daily, didn't you.

Ya know...I was thinking that exact same thing and BAM! you said it. I have to say, the one benefit out of all of this shit has been the rebalancing of our marriage (or whatever what we have is called ). I used to do everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Well, that has changed radically. Part of it is because I was unable to do anything after dday I was such a mess. Part of it is because I was not going forward in the same situation. I had made all the sacrifices, it was his turn. I hope you can get him off of his butt and online the dell hotline.

I think the consensus on this "notfriend" is to give him no info but make it clear once that we want the behavior to stop. If it continues we know it is malicious and H will tell me and delete. Honestly, what a pig. I can't tell you how much we have helped this guy over the years and for him to attack us like this is just amazing. Asshole.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trying to slip that in there without FNF and I razzing you!

Aw shucks, Shirley.
Razz away, cos I got me some sleep!

You know it's strange..before I could lie awake after sex feeling so...disconnected... from the whole event whilst H would just turn over and sleep; and now,I turn over and sleep, and he wants to cuddle (sometimes). Ah well...

***
Shirley, this man does sound like a shitstirrer indeed!

Guess you cant block him, huh?
Just thinking out aloud...do you think you and H sitting him down for this chat might be too...eventful...and he might just thrive on it. And he sounds like a person who wouldnt drop it without probing further, so you would end up telling him about the LTA, which would give him some unneccessary ammunition.

Also, another thought crossed my mind...could he and OW be involved in a A themselves. OW#2 was a serial OW, she apparently had had other "relationships" at the company..and H knew. Just wondered if this OW plays the corporate field too.

All the best with the chat with this non-friend, Shirley. I cant think of another way to handle it.

***
((((HB)))))

This Thursday, huh?
You know what, HB, dont let this woman spoil your child's party. To heck with her.
Still, heres hoping Travelodge is having a sale.

***
SoLost,

Honestly, is my husband the only one who is this freakin' stupid????

Are you kidding? Look at who you are talking to!


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really s disgusting. I have now learned that I can trust no one. I married the person I thought I could trust forever and look how that turned out.

You know, in marriage counseling, H's counselor (both of ours are there) often calls me out on the fact that i take care of him. His health and everything else. Even so far as to not tell him I'm sad because of not making him upset. He is always telling me to stop taking care of him and let him stand on his own two feet. To get out of the mother role and in to the partner role. I think this is one of those times.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SoLost, I know it hard to do this, but you can do it. It is actually very liberating for us to not be responsible for H. And its good for them, as it allows them to grow up.

Becoming selfish went against everything that was in me. But selfishness is not necessarily a bad thing, whilst selflessness is not necessarily a good thing (when our well being is constantly jeopardised).

It took me a while to learn this (and I still battle with this), but I found that once I started being more selfish, H was able to become more selfless. I dont know why that worked out like that, but it did.

Remember what is said here over and over again, SoL. Look after yourself. Honour your feelings. Be true to you.
Keep saying them until they stop being words, and become actions.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good morning everyone.

I'm alive. I've been lurking, reading, not posting because I have nothing to offer right now.

I'm thinking about stopping MC. H's new insurance plan will only cover each of us for 20 visits and we both need them for our ICs. I don't think it's done us any good for like months anyway.

He pulled the plug on our shore trip last night. Like DD he's too "scared" to ask for time off (he didn't say that, but he hasn't asked yet). He doesn't want to feel "obligated" to this guy who offered us his place. Granted the guy is a pig and would give H a razzing about losing rental income because he's a "nice" guy and let us have the house for free. H wants to go to his sister's condo... a 1 bedroom closet which worked out fine when the kids were little, but 4 adults... no way. The one thing I go to the shore for is to sit on the balcony and watch the water and sun myself and read. There's no balcony, it doesn't even face the ocean. Plus there's the trigger aspect of the place (which hasn't come up in the conversation... yet). That's what I'm mulling over today... how to approach him for a compromise without playing the trump card.

The last time we stayed there was in 99 when he left mid week to "work"... during our vacation.... and I asked him if he really left to get laid. He won't admit it, says he doesn't remember that, but what an opportunity... wifey and kids stashed away in another state. Plueezze! I may have been stupid then, but I'm not now. Of course he won't "get" the connection.

How do I say I don't want to stay in the condo. Where's the compromise here if he won't budge?

His other "option" is to stay in a beachfront motel. I told him my days of motels are over, I don't care where they are. He rolled his eyes at that one... When I found a "converted" motel, it's now 3 bedroom condos, I said that was acceptable he did the "but it WAS a motel, weepy, don't want to have you upset, so I guess we can't go at all."

MC tomorrow night, being our last one, I don't know whether to even bother bringing this up or the anniversary. According to everything I'm reading, bringing up his "failings", especially in front of someone else, only makes him dig his heels in harder, rather than face being wrong or face the fact that his past behavior is driving our difficulties.

Can I swallow the anger and stay at the condo? Maybe if it's just us and he's there the entire time, but with the kids, no. Just too close to the past for comfort.

Shirley, what a stinker of a situation for you. And like LH speculated, perhaps his attitude IS driven by his own shame and fear. You'll never get to him.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can I swallow the anger and stay at the condo?


If the place you're going to stay in is a huge trigger, why go? It wouldn't be much of a vacation for me if I had to stay there.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He pulled the plug on our shore trip last night. Like DD he's too "scared" to ask for time off (he didn't say that, but he hasn't asked yet). He doesn't want to feel "obligated" to this guy who offered us his place.


H wants to go to his sister's condo...

Weepy....maybe I am not reading this right but which is it? Does he not want to take time off of work or does he just want to be a pain in the ass and shove you all into a place where you don't want to be. If you are going to go, why not use the house?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Weepy
I wondered where you were. Any news on the job front yet?

Re the vacation, I dont mean to sound flip, but does H have to come?

He has been a right miserable sod lately; I wonder how much of a holiday it would be for you 3 if he is there..all miserable and grumpy and whiny.

Just asking.

Re MC, it does look like you guys have come to some sort of junction, and MC wont be much help hereon. Again, dont mean to be flip, but can you get ALL 20 sessions for IC for you...cos based on what you say here, doesnt look like your H is getting much out of it.

(((((Weepy)))))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Tribe,

Weepy, so good to "hear" from you. I'm with the gang, I think that your vacation should be a time of rest and relaxation without triggers, if it can be avoided. Here, you clearly have a choice to avoid the trigger, and your H should be on board and supportive of what YOU need. Since your H has a tendency to be passive-agressive on important things, why don't you just plan the vacation the way that is best for you and "invite" him to come along- in other words, take control here. You know, even this far out from dday, all of us LTA survivors still have those wounds and sore spots- the last thing you need to is to voluntarily enter yourself into a world of triggers. Hang in there....

OK- Big pit in my stomach- MIL is only about three hours away now. Still no clue whether she is staying at my house or elsewhere. THe bright side is that the kids are gone so she can't be around visiting them AND she will have no entertainment because my H and I are using every spare moment to move both our stuff and FIL's stuff into storage. She's not gonna be having a lot of socializing time with us AND this time she actually won't really have much time alone with my H to bitch about me

I'll check back in later. I may need some Tribal Hugs to get me through this....

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB,
Find your quiet place, and know that nothing she says about is true.Its so good that you and H are handling this like a team, and MIL is going to be in for a surprise if she tries one of her tricks. In fact, I am hoping that she does, and your H puts her in her place, hard and fast!

Loads and loads of white light, HB. She WILL NOT ruin this holiday, whether she stays with you or not.

(((((((((((((HB))))))))))))))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB - I will be thinking of you. I have a great idea...why don't you thank her for coming to help you move your and FIL stuff!!! Then just hand her a big load of crap!!

Okay, seriously, good luck and let us know how it goes.

(Hi Lost Heart )


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AGHHHHHHHHHHH..... MIL is here and the first thing she says to H when she comes in is "I'm staying here, right?".... Yup. Big victory for her. But I need to get over it and get this freakin move done.

Thanks for the well wishes guys, I just feel like fleeing and crying like a little girl. H and I did discuss for next time that we will agree to pay for MIL's hotel if we have invited her (i.e. for the kid's birthdays, etc.) Considering that we only invite her once a year, I should be able to handle that.

thnxs guys... I love you all
HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In no particular order.

I think the consensus on this "notfriend" is to give him no info but make it clear once that we want the behavior to stop.

Yes. That’s it. Just yes.

MC tomorrow night, being our last one, I don't know whether to even bother bringing this up or the anniversary. According to everything I'm reading, bringing up his "failings", especially in front of someone else, only makes him dig his heels in harder, rather than face being wrong or face the fact that his past behavior is driving our difficulties.

Weepy, I’d say bring it up. You don’t sound angry about it here, just disappointed. And yes, he will read it as “failing” – back to that Why Women Talk book. He can’t bear to think or talk about something that HE views as a failing and that’s what makes him dig his heels in. As for the condo, if it was me I’d say thanks, but no. I’d only finish up resentful.

He is always telling me to stop taking care of him and let him stand on his own two feet.

You know, FWH's taken this new job. And it takes him past the largest shopping mall in the country. I suggested he call in there and get some new gear. He said he’d rather go with me. I said it’s straightforward, you have a list and you go to stores A, B and C and you buy. Easy. I WON’T go w him b/c I can identify two mega spends, one soon after he had been with MOW for the first time (duh, how stupid was i) and another the DAY AFTER he had spent a week with her when we bought Ralph fucking Lauren shirts. He has a credit card. His job is within retail construction. Instead of looking at the interior design and manufacturers, look at the fucking clothes!!!

Honestly, is my husband the only one who is this freakin' stupid????

Hand up. Another one here. Is there a scale of freakin’ stupidity? Cos my H is at the far end and out of sight.

(((((HB))))). We’ll look after you HB. How long is this for? Just come down the beach and we’ll hand you a large glass of something as you breathe deep and take in the sea air. Hugs and you’ll get through this.

I used to do everything. I mean EVERYTHING.

I have fucked up today. I said I was now Little Miss Wipe-Your-Own-Ass, didn’t I? Well, I failed. FWH came home with his laptop last night. This morning, I get straight into my gym gear. He asks if I can help with this cable he’s been given to connect to our pc so he can get online. Soooo, I have to move the furniture around, pull out the trolley the tower sits on and connect this cable into the back. It doesn’t work (I had a feeling it wouldn’t). So we try this and that and calls the IT and I get a call from DS1&2 in Oz and talk for the best part of an hour. I can hear him every now and then calling my name. I finish the chat and he says if we have the cd for the b/band to use that. So I do (not happy about the connection on OUR b/band when we have 4 lines into the house, but I do). And set it up. And connect. And it works. And then he can’t find how to get to the connection. So I show him. Again. And again. Meanwhile, I phone my dad to say DS1&2 will be there for the diamond anni bash and could he book them in and btw DS3 wants to bring his gf. DDad starts to say about my H being so obvious in life, with the job and all, and how long do I think he will give it before he moves on. “Obvious”????? That I can “read” my H to the point of his every move being “obvious” to me b/c I “know” him so well?????? Uh, oh. And then, he starts on about how great he thinks he is. He’s a good man, your R. If you only fucking knew, Dad. It was tearing me apart and I had to end the call. Thanks Dad. But if you knew what’s gone on here, you’d be so angry and upset and hurt and betrayed.

And, yes. He is still lying. When he told me about the Shakespeare play, it was a case of opening his mouth before he had engaged his brain. I have a feeling that when he started the conversation (we seemed to be talking at cross purposes for a few mins), he was thinking t it had been us and not him and OW who had seen the play. And that once he realised his error, decided to tell me the truth, but as if he was going to tell me anyway. Can you understand what I mean? And b/c I’ve not read the timeline (not given it to me yet), I’ll bet it’s now been inserted somewhere.

I’m thinking this whole marriage has been a lie and that he can’t tell truth from fiction. Either that, or he simply is NOT going to proffer information I don’t already know. And so I have to decide if I can or want to live with a liar and cheat. Cos he sure isn’t gonna tell me about any other affairs if he can’t/won’t tell the whole story and truth on the one I DO know about, is he?

And I sink lower into the mire as I realise how much of a masquerade my life with him has been. “All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances and one man in his time plays many parts …. “ Blah, blah. Yeh. I did the same play too. I am merely a bit player in his life while he wears many masks hiding the actor and hiding the man. I don’t know who the fuck he is. Except he is “sans everything” and that includes morals.

Falling off the edge, but hanging on by my finger nails. My. this is a long one. I must have keyboard diarrhoea.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 4:49 PM, July 24th (Thursday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3327 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh. And the opera-singing bf is in hospital having fallen over in the kitchen and done enough damage to warrant an ambulance. I’m waiting for a call to pick up my friend’s DD as she went with him. Could be a long wait. Sooo. He gets carted off, FWH and I clear up the kitchen (broken crockery), I put out the recycling box and bags for collection in the morning and HE gets annoyed with me. HE could be doing that while I started on the dinner. WTF??? Excuse me, Mister. I have been doing every-fucking-thing including putting out the waste every Thursday evening for the last decade. Don’t you come swanning in and start as if it’s always been something YOU have done. You couldn’t have given fuck while you were having your affair and as I recall it was ME that used to get up at 6.45 when I heard the dustcart beeping as it backed up our road if I had forgotten. I said “Do you really want me to knock your head off your shoulders in full public view?” And then as he protested “DON’T. JUST FUCKING DON’T”

Anyone got some imodium for this keyboard diarrheoa? I'd better log off. 'Night.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

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