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User Topic: Long Term Affairs XI I
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No BT. She is H's sister after all.

LostHeart - I am sorry but that actually doesn't matter. I know people here are going to jump on me for this one but fuck her. Your H knows her history. He knows what she has done to you. He needs to support YOU and tell her that she can come to dinner while she is visiting from her hotel (if you agree). You are the team now and she is an enemy of the team. My Hs family is off-limits. He can go visit them, but they can't come here. I will not allow him to take the kids to see them. (Out of country but more on principle than anything because they tried to undermine us).

If he insists, can you go away during that time? You can come stay with us.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
SickInMySoul
♀ Member
Member # 19945
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the definition of LTA is over 2 years but don't quote me on that. If you feel like you need or want to be here, please stay. We have been through it all and are willing to help.

Sick,
As sad as it is, one year is not generally considered a long-term affair. Two or more years is kind of the bench-mark.

BT

OK, thanks~ backing back out quietly. :)

[This message edited by SickInMySoul at 8:06 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


BS (me) 44
WS 51
two amazing girls 22 & 23
one year PA with a 22 yr old "friend" of ours.
Dday 4-7-08
Looking forward to being one of the R success stories!

5-09**seriously wondering if I can get past this...
9-10**still struggling..


Posts: 216 | Registered: Jun 2008
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LH,

I am myself in a pickle about my MIL (who is an OW left FIL 2 years ago for the OM/now her H0. Up until now, we've never let her stay at our house. She tried to come in between H and I over some issues after dday- the bitch knew our M was struggling and we have two young kids and she was still selfish enough to do that. SO, fast forward to this weekend- H is insisting that we put her up here. He insists that he has better boundaries now, that he won't let MIL disrespect me, but that she's his mother and he wants a relationship with her. We had a HUGE knock down fight about this- and I am having to buck up and let this witch in my home at the end of this week. I'm SO disappointed in my H BUT, I see that with your SIL your H also isn't giving you a choice. Here's my thing- if they want to continue a relationship with these toxic family members, fine, but why does that have to invade OUR homes, OUR peace of mind, etc.

THIS IS INFURIATING TO ME....I haven't been this ragingly pissed off in a loooongg time. LOST, I'm mad for you and with you. Is there any chance your H will do better than mine and back down? Or is there any way that you can bow out of the social event and go somewhere else- even say you have a girl's night out that was already planned or something? And then do something nice for yourself?

HUGS,
HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know people here are going to jump on me for this one but fuck her. Your H knows her history. He knows what she has done to you. He needs to support YOU

HS - I am with you 100% on this one - fuck her indeed. That woman is poison and LH you don't need to have that stress in your home or in your M. I think it might be a good idea to sit down with your H either alone or in a MC'ing session and discuss why she should not be permitted to contaminate your delicate environment.
You and your H are doing so well, why chance a setback for someone who has shown you such disrespect in the past?
And let me just say for the record, that I agree with HS that you should try to get away if your H doesn't back down on this (but don't stay with HS, come stay with me). We'll have a grand ole time. Oh, and I promise, no country western music if you come for a visit :)
I am so sorry that you are not sleeping too. It seems there's a lot going on in your life besides trying to R with your H. That alone requires so much of our time and emotional strength. But on top of that you have little ones, a job that is requiring more of your time and some old FOO issues you're dealing with. Combined, this is an overwhelming amount of stress on you. I wish I could convince your H myself that this is an unfair and selfish request and that if he wants to continue on this wonderful path you've been on lately, he needs to see your POV about his sister's visit. I hate her for you. Everything you've told us about her is infuriating. There has to be another solution other than conceding to your H's request. (((LH)))
HB - OMG - I cannot believe your MIL is an OW. That takes all! I would be livid if I had to have her in my home especially since she was trying to undermine your M. Where do these women come from? I know it must be especially tricky when it's your H's mother, but I have to tell you, I would do battle too if I were in your shoes.
After d-day I told my H in no uncertain terms, that no one, absolutely no one who I felt undermined our M, would ever be welcome in our home again. I also told him that I would not even answer the telephone (thank God for CID) if there was one of his friends or family members that I wanted nothing further to do with. This is part of the price they get to pay for their betrayals. We get to call the shots on who is allowed into our inner sanctum. We must demand respect and put conditions where they need to be and IMHO, one of the conditions of being a guest in my home is to respect me, my family, my M and my space. If they can't do that, then they are not welcome here.
Shirley - you and I think alike on this one. There is no backing down IMO and like you said, "You are the team now and she is an enemy of the team." Exactly, HS!!! Our H's need to get that message loud and clear and remember where their loyalties are to lie from here on in if they want the M to survive.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Previously, I would have been the epitome of helpfulness and graciousness.Now...one hour after the sms, I was crying. I dont know this woman, but I was so afraid of her. She could hurt me.

LH, I think this is a very real and sad consequence of our H's LTA's. It is the aftermath of our status as PTSD victims. Anything that looks or feels like the original cause of our trauma sends us into a panic mode. I believe this is completely understandable and not at all surprising.
About a year and a half after my D-day, a friend's mother died and we went to the funeral. One of her friends was also there. She had recently been widowed and looked very sad. She is an attractive woman whose H had left her very well off. As chance would have it, when we all sat at the table, she was directly across from my H and was directing most of her conversation toward him.
Now, before d-day, I would have had a great deal of sympathy for her and would have encouraged him to be kind to her. Afterall, her H had died just 6 months earlier. That day, instead, she was a threat and I wanted to get up from the table, throw a glass of water in her face and grab my H by the balls and storm the hell out of there. All the way home I was so quiet thinking why the hell do I care. Maybe I should tell him to call her and just get on with my life. I know now it was completely irrational but it is part of that PTSD aftermath and I think it will take a very long time in some of our cases before we return to a more healthy place.
Don't be hard on yourself. I think this is normal for us at this stage of recovery. I just hope for all of us that we do recover and gain back the confidence and security we had before our nightmares began.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
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Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost,

It is not in my makeup to refuse a family member the hospitality of my home either. Even when they are assholes (and believe me, I have several of those on both sides.)

All I can suggest is that you and your husband sit down and come up with some ideas on how to handle her together, as a team. I suggest you try to come up with some reasonable ideas of what he can do to help you while she is there. And what you can do to help him.

While I couldn't turn her away, I would be able to limit the amount of time she stayed. No two-week sojourns. A week or less I could deal with.

Don't forget you are not the same woman you were right after d-day. You are much stronger, much more informed of the truth about affairs and the people who have them. She won't have the same power to hurt you because you now know that she is the one with the issues, not you.

And we'll be here for you.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is not in my makeup to refuse a family member the hospitality of my home either. Even when they are assholes

You are a much better person than me, BT. You see, IMHO, some people, especially toxic people, family or not, who are not friends of the M, must not be allowed to interfere with the important work that is being done in R. This SIL is cruel. The things she has said and done are hurtful and vicious. She has proven to be no friend to the M and I would doubt very much that any MC would suggest that her presence at this time in their recovery is in their best interest.
My BIL is a friend to our M but is very demanding and requires a great deal of entertaining when he comes for a visit. It is exhausting but because I know he wants our M to work and helps my H to see what it is that needs to be done to R, and because he supports me and my children, he will always be welcome. The day he would turn on me and say something as hurtful as, You mustn't have been giving him what he needed in bed, is the day he would no longer be welcome in my home. That's all it would take for me. To blame the victim is criminal and that is what this SIL has tried to do - blame LH for sins of her H and that, IMO, is reason enough to disconnect from her entirely.
Sorry, BT, but I am so angry at the things this woman has said and done to LH. It just makes me wonder what kind of family environment Mr. LH grew up in.
ETA - Actually there was a time long before d-day when my BIL was very mean and verbally abusive to me when we visited him and his family. My H sat there and allowed his brother to talk to me like that. I was furious. After we left I told my H I would never go back with him to visit his brother. That it was bad enough to have his brother talk to me that way, but to have him sit there and say nothing was intolerable. For 10 years I refused to go back. I was always polite and friendly when he would come in (and stay with his sister) but I never agreed to visit him. After many years of my H and my BIL pleading with me to visit, I agreed on the condition that this would not happen again. Guess what, it has never happened again and we have become so close and as I said, he has been a strong friend to the M and a huge support to me and my children. I stood up for myself and he has come to respect me. We both learned an important lesson.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 10:05 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
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Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's kind of axiomatic that these WSes grew up in really shitty environments, FNF. In one way or another their FOOs sucked. It's not surprising that their siblings/parents have lots of issues, too.

It's probably not a very functional aspect of my personality that I feel unable to say no to family. The absolute entitlement to hospitality from family members is a part of my family culture/heritage. It just is the way it has always been. I honestly can't imagine it not being that way.

I have gotten to the point that I put up with no shit in my home, however, and that has been made very clear to all. People behave themselves when they are here. And if they misbehave elsewhere, I do not mess around. I leave. But something in me just wouldn't let me cut them off.

Personally, this woman of Lost's sounds like a bully that needs to be put in her place calmly and with certainty a couple times and she will back down, like most bullies. I'm thinking Lost is capable of doing that now.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT,
Personally, this woman of Lost's sounds like a bully that needs to be put in her place calmly and with certainty a couple times and she will back down, like most bullies. I'm thinking Lost is capable of doing that now.

I totally agree. LH, you are stronger than you were before and you CAN face this, sweetie. Try if you can to set up some boundaries to protect yourself and to make your H protect you. I may not totally agree with my H on my MIL visiting here (she lives out of state and visits only about twice a year)- but early on he did set some boundaries- our children will never be left unsupervised with her, she's not allowed to talk about her H (OM), and he repeatedly sticks up for me if she puts me down (she only does this to him in private, of course, like the sinking slime that she is.....)

Let's all get our "buckets of white light" (Zanny came up with that- thank you if you are lurking here ) for LH....

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 2:31 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good morning. It is cloudy and cool here but hot and sunny where FWH is. Grrrr! But at least the sun will be shining on LostH too.
*****
BT, “I didn’t think I loved you” very thought provoking, I want to come back to that later.
*****
Whatever my H says, he’s a liar. And they all lived a lie for the whole time they were conducting their alternative lives. For whatever excuses they had to duck and dive and hold out on us, they were all liars and I can see no reason to believe anything they have to say about that time because it is now all seen with that clarity of hindsight (how I hate that word!). The only thing I will accept is that (perhaps) they felt guilty from time to time.
*****
but I think we may have taken a big step forward.

<<<<<Big smile from here to here>>>>> Happy for you, shirley.
*****
I know people here are going to jump on me for this one but fuck her. Your H knows her history. He knows what she has done to you. He needs to support YOU

I’m with the others on this one too. But if you have to bite your tongue and have her stay (how long for?), then I suggest you make some “previous commitments” and take yourself out of the sitch as much as possible. I’m surprised she would want to come – she must know how you feel about her. Go see your IC and come up with a strategy.
"If you had kept him happy in bed, he wouldnt have needed to go elsewhere."

Assuming she’s stopping over, you could always let her hear how happy you are in bed!!!!!
*****
I think most of us have relations we would never choose to associate with. Fortunately, my H feels the same about his brother and SIL. The SIL once muttered to me she thought she had married the wrong brother …… I had a baby in my arms at the time.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
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Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 2:50 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The accurate statement is more likely, "I didn't think I loved you." But to make that palatable to their own ego they project their own feelings onto you and I. That also gives them the added justification in their own minds to find someone who does "love" them.

Hmm. Not just think he didn’t love me, he actually didn’t love me. I think the moment he met her, he realised the love for me was gone and he was off down the road. Before he met this particular MOW from his school days, he met up with another previous gf (who I suspect chucked him) through Friends Reunited. Last week, FWH said (confessed?) to me, in a very casual way, that he felt there was “more of a risk” when he met Sue T. again. He did tell me all about her at the time, they met as part of the reunion group and he told me he’d been to her house for coffee (how naive I was!), about her kids and her life - perhaps she rejected his advances. But if she had been a free agent or if she was not concerned that he was married or if she lived nearer, would it have been her instead of the ex-fiancee?

I have no doubt he felt genuine guilt that he didn’t love me. I was his wife and the mother of his children and doing nothing to jeopardise my side of the relationship/marriage/bargain. But me doing nothing wrong isn’t enough for him to love me – there was no way I could make him love me, even if I was aware that any love for me had gone. He carried on with me out of habit and convenience. And that’s a very unpleasant and hurtful option to consider.

“to find someone who does "love" them. “
For whatever reason, it was not Sue T. (She remarried about 4yrs ago, so ….. maybe there was the faintest chance? But I wasn't there, so it's no good making a supposition) But OW must have made it very clear that she was interested in pursuing and renewing their relationship and she must have made it very clear early on that she still loved him.

Man, what an ego trip for an insecure fuckwit. I wish he had just gone.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
BorrowTrouble
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Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with you UK. I don't believe my husband loved me during the affairs and probably many of the years afterward. He was so self-centered during that time and so emotionally dysfunctional, I don't think he was capable of loving anyone then.

While that makes me incredibly sad and felt for a while like it would destroy me, it ultimately did not. In the end it taught me something important about myself. It taught me that I am stronger than I would have ever believed. That I can get through most anything by myself, because I have already done it, albeit unknowingly.

And I am so much stronger and smarter than I was then. It took a long time to feel that, because d-day and the knowledge of what my life/marriage truly has been, versus what I thought it was, seemed to suck most of the light and hope from me. But with work it came back and much, much more.

And my husband has worked hard to change, too. I believe he has. I feel he has. The change is palpable to me. I think we all have the potential to be better than we are if we work at it. A key ingredient to recovering after a LTA is giving both yourself and your spouse the grace and faith to become a better, stronger person. And for both of us to take advantage of that opportunity.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
JoePike
♂ Member
Member # 13207
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The question of love whilst in the A is an interesting one.

As some of you might remember, my xW began her EA 8-9 months and her PA 6 weeks before our wedding.

Of all the things she did, that is the part I cannot wrap my head around. If you're not able to be faithful then, what's the friggin point in getting married??

Actually, I know the logical answer. Her conflict avoidance made it impossible to halt the wedding proceedings, as she'd actually would have had to grow up and face her actions, something she was unable to deal with.


"Do or do not. There is no Try" - Yoda.

"The term “mistake” infers a level of ignorance, innocence and naivety. And a lack of intent and planning." - Craig Harper


Posts: 3952 | Registered: Jan 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That I can get through most anything by myself, because I have already done it, albeit unknowingly.

BT - I was just thinking this the other day (when I thought we were splitting for sure). That I was capable of doing so much on my own when I didn't KNOW I was on my own. But, I also realized I don't WANT to do it on my own if I have a willing and loving partner. But I will not go forward with a partner who is here out of obligation or guilt - hence the intense confrontation/discussion over the weekend.

Another point to LostHeart...again BT is a better person than me to allow these people into her home. However, did everyone notice that it is on HER terms? Therefore, you and H need to have a very detailed discussion as to how long the SIL can stay, what behaviors will not be tolerated and what the consequences will be for her if she misbehaves. And, you H needs to be the one to deliver this message and help enforce the boundaries. What do you think?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmm. Not just think he didn’t love me, he actually didn’t love me. I think the moment he met her, he realised the love for me was gone and he was off down the road.

UKgirl - as hard as this is to face, we must face it. The key is to understand it was about what they thought love was. They believed love to be the immature infatuation phase of love not the mature deep phase which is of giving. Therefore, once the infatuation wore off, they went looking for that limerance elsewhere. It wore off there too. In my Hs case, he then went looking for it elsewhere again! After the last affair fizzled out, I think he realized he was looking in the wrong place and he tried to come back to me. Unfortunately, the lies and deceit that he kept inside was too great to overcome and true intimacy was gone. So last summer, after 7 years, he confessed. It is this journey of facing the truth completely (no blameshifting, no gaslighting, no rewriting the marital history) but admitting and accepting the facts as they are, that starts the process of healing them. They can't skip these steps or the wedge between BS and WS will always be there. Does that make sense?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
forgivenotforget
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Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS - I meant to give send you warm congratulations on the "huge step forward." That was so exciting to hear. Your H is making such progress and as hard as this road has been for you, I know that his desire to change has to make your desire to stay and fight much easier.
He was so self-centered during that time and so emotionally dysfunctional, I don't think he was capable of loving anyone then.

BT - How very true of those S's who engaged in LTA's. That is the most frightening aspect because unless they are willing to look deeply into themselves and do the work necessary those of us who stay with emotionally unavailable men will remain at risk.
You have been so lucky and it looks like HS is on that path with her H. Others of us are waiting, watching and hoping to be where you are.
As to toxic family, I think the reason I am so sensitive about this is because my family is very respectful to my H even after learning what he did. They support my decision to stay, they do not interfere, and they do not do anything to make it uncomfortable for me or my H. They have always been good to my H even when they have felt over the years that he has been rude and obnoxious. They respect me and therefore they show respect to my H and my marriage. I cannot tell you how wonderful this has been. If you have familly like this you will know what I mean. So to have in-laws that are loud, demanding, disrespectful and obnoxious is doubly hard on me. If my family can be good and kind to my H after all that he has put me through you can be damn sure I expect and demand no less from his.
I'll give you another example of his family. He has an aunt (I've talked about her before.) She is extremely aggressive, vulgar and opinionated. Once, we were at a function and we walked out together, along with my H. She was upset because in her opinion I wasn't spending enough time with my MIL (that's another story). Then after mouthing off she literally hauled off and smacked me. My H stood there and never said a word. Again, I was never smacked by my own parents, let alone a family member so to have an in-law do this to me was unimaginable.
Family dynamics do indeed play a large part in our decisions during this period. To come from my family environment into one so outrageously dysfunctional has been a tremendous challenge. That is why I guess I have become so opinionated in regard to LH's situation. My own experience with in-laws is definitely factoring in. It is a tough position for LH to be in and whatever she decides I hope she knows she will have all of our support.
ETA - Welcome back Joe. We haven't seen you in a while. I hope you are doing well. Keep in touch when you can.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 8:14 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
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Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not about being a better person, it's about a sense of obligation. I do not do it out of a sense of love or compassion, but out of a history and custom. That this is a baseline obligation of family.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then after mouthing off she literally hauled off and smacked me. My H stood there and never said a word.

OMG - I don't know who to fucking kill first. For her to smack you is just so outside any realm of normal behavior and boundaries that it is just unimaginable. That is why they call it assault. It is a physical assault and a mental assault. I swear to god you might want to take a Taser to all interactions with this subhuman - that might teach her to smack people if she gets tasered in reply.

Okay, now to your H. He just stood there?!!

He didn't defend you, restrain her, say something, anything? Would he now?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
BorrowTrouble
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Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jesus, FNF, she hit you? She would no longer exist in my world. If I could have restrained myself from hitting her back -- not sure I could have -- I would never have spoken to or acknowledged her again. That would be the expected consequence of that kind of action in my weird little family system. Even we have lines you cannot cross.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
forgivenotforget
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Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS - you really crack me up. But for the record, I love your response because sometimes I wonder if I'm just too sensitive.
FYI, if you can imagine the ride home in the car with my H after that incident knowing my temperment to say it was unpleasant would be an understatement.
I told him that if his aunt ever did that to me again she had better be prepared to get smacked in return. I told him to get on the phone and let her know this. I don't know if he did, but she never touched me again.
Damn, I was kind of looking forward to giving it back to her.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
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