[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 12:12 PM, January 20th (Tuesday)]
I'm sorry your H hasn't been able to keep his word Do you think he is thinking that if he gets COM to want to see OC that you will eventually give in to seeing OC?
Our 2 older COM do know about OC cause they had heard her name mentioned and started asking who she was, our youngest hasn't asked who ****** is yet, I'm bracing myself for the day he askes. I'm also a little suprised the older 2 haven't told him about her yet. My COM have never shown an interest in contacting the OC at all, maybe living 2500 miles away makes a difference. My H has never told our COM not to talk to me about OC. In fact it's the other way around, COM talk to me if they have any questions about OC, cause talking about her upsets my H
What is child abuse? How do you prove a child being negelected? H came home Saturday with OC because OW stuff was being set out because she was evicted and chose to stay until the last day! She is offically homeless! H came in with OC I instanly gave him a bath because he smelled like piss and throw up! Looked into bag to get clean clothes all the clothes were dirty! Plus she had dirty pampers in the bag with his bottles uncovered. Boiled the bottles and washed the clothes. H called to ask her what type of water do she mix his formula with she said Natural Spring water with energy. OC is only two months old. Trying to let my H handle his own mess but I am really concern about Oc wellbeing. H refused to address these issues with OW because he fears she will leave town. OW only concern to me is getting my H. She acts like she has no care in the world still texting h all day not concern where her and her 5 kids going to sleep.
lynne, I would report the fact the OW is now homeless and the condition OC was brought to you in to someone. JMHO. I mean I don't want OC in my life but if she were being mistreated I don't think I would be able to ignore it. You are a good person to take care of that baby like you did
I would contact CPS, where is she staying? Please keep in mind once you do this there is no going back. Your H may be mad if you report this. If you give specific information they will know it was you. Her being homeless is really not a good situation, I would mention the amount of kids she has. Your H could get an emergency temp. custody hearing without going the CPS route, that to would be no turning back.
The courts like to give child to relatives not foster care, if there is a available parent. Maybe take baby to Dr. if you do not go CPS route, CPS will take baby to hospital if you suggest the baby is being mistreated or malnurished.
I can not tell you what to do, but there is an innocent child involved here. it may come down to your h having OC alone or with you, that is going to be your choice. I will be praying for you, it is a tough situation.
L&D, things are never going to change unless you change them because your H obviously just doesnt get it. I am so sorry that he can not keep his word where OC is concerned. You really need to look at this because if he really wanted to keep his family, he would be a united front with you working on the same page. I think it is possible that he is reminding them that there is an OC so that they ask about her. Putting your kids in the middle of this by telling them not to talk to to you about OC just is dead wrong
Sorry you are here, but glad that you found us
You are taking the right path by having DNA testing done, that is very important.
It's not a far stretch to think OW got pregnant on purpose, OW in our situation did. It's laughable how many OW think they are going to get happily ever after with another womans H just cause of a OC
Your H needs to realize that if he is going to be a part of the OC's life, then your COM is going to find out sooner or later and she will resent being kept in the dark about it. He has to be a man and face ALL the consequences for his actions, and if that means your COM thinking a little less of him for a while then that is just what he has to deal with KWIM.
You are not wrong for wanting to try and stick it out. But your H has to be on the same page as you and you need to agree on boundries or it won't work. He has to be considerate of your feeling's, up front with you about everything and not go against what the 2 of you agree on TOGETHER or R is an impossible task.
Keep posting here, it really helps. These are a great bunch of ladies and they have given me some great advice Good luck
[This message edited by auntcis at 11:55 AM, January 22nd (Thursday)]
After you get the results of the DNA, I think you need to give him the rules you are willing to live with and he needs to decide if he is willing to abide by them. If not, I'm sorry, but I don't think it will work.
I'm sorry his actions have brought you to the breaking point But I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your COM and making him see you are done playing his games.
I will be thinking about you and your COM.
I wish they would just hurry up and finish the adoption already. I told my H we should file for him to give up his rights and not wait on OW, since we have documentation that there is another man wanting to adopt her. But my H says no cause he feels if the adoption is something OW wants she should have to pay court fees to get H rights taken away, which he is willing to give up anyway. I'm just so sick of my life revolving around this shit
[This message edited by auntcis at 2:37 PM, January 25th (Sunday)]
We allowed OW to claim OC every year in exchange for $100/mo reduction on CS. I have seen how the confusion of who claims the kids can be a HUGE pain!