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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: OC support thread BS Only
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, lonely - that is exactly what she is trying to do. We thought she had finally given up 6 months ago when we told her to do it if she needed to but it wasn't going to change things. So H didn't call up and check on the OC during that time. She doesn't understand the concept of NC. Anyway, it pissed her off so she is back to threats. She is also threatening to hire a lawyer (she had been using free SRS services) because SRS just reviewed the CS and they didn't adjust the CS. It has only been a year and H doesn't make any more $ than he did then. Nothing on our end has changed to warrant a change in CS.

I am pretty sure that H's mom will follow our lead. She has just been through so much with his brother and his daughter, and her dad past away last month. H is supposed to be the good kid. She isn't supposed to have to worry about him. I just don't want to put anything on her.

My family would be crushed. They love my H as though he is their son.

((BMC))
I'm sorry you are leaving. I have been reading your story through old posts and I admire your strength and courage. I wish I was able to suck up my pride, hurt and anger and let this little girl into my heart, but I just can't right now. Best of luck to your and your family.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a Bitch the OW is! She had better embrace single parenthood and spend her CS wisely.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
charlotte
♀ Member
Member # 3663
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((want2bok)))))

Does your H have a lawyer?

We let the lawyer handle everything. It was the best money we ever spent.

Sounds like she likes to make threats hoping she will get her way. Pathetic huh?


Posts: 3983 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: Maryland ES
doistay2008
♀ Member
Member # 18898
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

W2B,
Ughh OW can be a real trip. In our case the OW refusing to have a paternity test and refusing to acknowledge that she was a married man's booty call. We have to hire an attorney just to find out if the kid is his.


Me: 30
Him: 30
Married 2 years/
Togetherish 8
OC: born feb 08
No COM

Posts: 210 | Registered: Mar 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These situations and circumstances are sooooooooooooooooooooo frustrating. If they just had to cheat a CONDOM would have prevented a lifetime of pain for everyone that posts here. When I asked my husband if the OW was the best sex he ever had he said no. What a shame. If he had said yes then maybe I could rationalize. 15,20,30 or 45 minutes of pleasure ends up being a very expensive mistake(OC). A pack of condoms only costs $5 bucks. Its not rocket science. What freakin odiots H and OW are Who the hell wants to pay for a mistake for 21 years!STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID Is it possible to resent a child you never wanted but did not try to prevent?

[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 2:29 PM, June 18th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, no lawyer yet, but I am asking him to at least consult with one. Money is SO tight, but I agree that it would be worth it.

She found a new boyfriend, recently bought a house, and is getting a promotion. Things are going good for her, and I don't wish bad things on her. I just don't understand why she can't move on. Her BF has already told her that he'd be willing to adopt her kids if their dads aren't involved(she has a 4 yo with another guy but isn't sure who the daddy is after 3 failed DNA tests). GRR!! Get married and do it already!! My H told her when he realized that she was keeping the baby that he'd be more that willing to let a future H of hers to adopt. He begged her to give her up in the first place so that all of the kids would be able to stay in 2 parent homes. BTW - we did an at home DNA and H is the father.

My H thought long and hard about his NC decision and it has been tough for him. His dad wasn't around although he lived 30 minutes away his entire childhood and again currently. We have visited with him once recently. So H knows how difficult it can be but his dad ran away for selfish reasons, my H is staying away because he truly thinks the OC will be better off. He just doesn't love the OC - he ADORES our COM. There is no way to hide that from her.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lonely, I'm with you on that one! My H also said the sex was mediocre and he didn't even care if she climaxed or not as long as he did! Well if you were using her as nothing more than a glorified sex doll why couldn't you have taken the 30 seconds to bag it!!!

Sorry, it still just gets me so angry that he couldn't show enough control to put on a condom. But what do you expect from a horney 18 year old?!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
charlotte
♀ Member
Member # 3663
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

doistay2008 How come the OW doesn't want to take the paternity test? I would take that as maybe she isn't sure who the baby daddy is.

lonely&depressed you are so right condoms don't cost that much.

OW in my case said she was on the pill so he didn't need to wear a condom. SHE WAS NEVER ON THE PILL. She got pregnant on purpose because he had been trying to end things with her. She told me herself.

But as luck would have it she had another boyfriend on the side so when my H didn't want to see her anymore she told her boyfriend on the side that she was pregnant and he was the daddy so he married her.

Can you say whack job?


Posts: 3983 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: Maryland ES
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At least your H can say he was immature. Mine was 32 at the time. Self control.............. not many people have it. My H has only seen OC once in 5 months any thoughts on why he stays way? He hasn't said he didn't want contact. H said he would like OC to know who he is. I haven't told him not to go see OC.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The part that really annoys me is that she said she couldn't get pregnant (she confirmed this). Umm - hello?? She has a child already and had an abortion a few months before he started screwing her!! And then, she had a miscarriage that was supposedly his. That didn't give him a clue - what a dumbazz!! But she just couldn't abort *his* baby. I know she knew that besides this, he has been an awesome daddy. She thought she'd get a good daddy and lots of $$. For me, DDay was when I was packing our stuff to move 200 miles away for a great opportunity for me but a big pay cut for him. So she gets WAY less than she thought she would which I LOVE! And it was all done without knowledge on my part of OW/OC so I still am happy about going back to work. I would've been pizzed if his actions would've forced me to go back.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

More than preventing a pregnancy Condoms prevents disease. Lucky for all of us that all we got was an OC instead HIV or AIDS or anything else that can't be cured. My H could have given me a death sentence all for a piece of ass! I'm really pissed today!

[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 2:39 PM, June 18th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to agree with you there lonely - I was either pg or nursing our baby the entire time too so it would've passed to her as well.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
doistay2008
♀ Member
Member # 18898
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here is my long story short.

H pursued other woman for six months. Finally slept with her a few times during may 07. He did not tell her that he had a wife. She called him in the summer to tell him she was pregnant. He still did not tell her he had a wife. He waitied until it was too late for her to have an abortion. THen he told her he had a wife. In the meantime, she started claiming that her first baby daddy is the father of the child. (although she swears she did not sleep with him in that timeframe) We know she slept with my husband in that timeframe.

So now, she wants to pretend that she was never his booty call. My husband is 100 percent wrong for his actions. But he did not date her. He went to her house for sex. She doesn't want to admit that she had sex repeatedly with a man that she doesnt know.

Also after the baby was born she called my h a few times to ask him to babysit. I called her and told her that was unaccepable. THat either she to the test and we have joint custody or she leave us alone. She opted to leave us alone.
My h is angry with me b/c he says he had the situation with her under control.

We told his parents a few weeks ago, which prompted h to again offically ask OW for a paternity test and she said no.

So OW was not a willingly OW in my case. But she found out he was married a hell of a lot sooner than I found out he had been sleeping around. She asked him not to tell me.


Me: 30
Him: 30
Married 2 years/
Togetherish 8
OC: born feb 08
No COM

Posts: 210 | Registered: Mar 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Men rarely stop to think long term. It's in their DNA I tell you. I'm convinced women are superior lol

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
doistay2008
♀ Member
Member # 18898
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my h swears the condom broke.....go figure. lol
he also swear that he could not afford the morning after pill and he swears that he didnt intentionally wait until she could not have an abortion to tell her that he was married.


Me: 30
Him: 30
Married 2 years/
Togetherish 8
OC: born feb 08
No COM

Posts: 210 | Registered: Mar 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah right and mine swore he was drunk. PLEASE! Give me a break. Tell him CS cost more than the morning after pill lol

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine swore he thought that I was going to tell him that I wanted our marriage annulled, and that I was going to tell him that I regreted marrying him and didn't want to be with him(A happened 6 months into our marriage). So he didn't figure I would care if he was with someone else . Well genius if that was your train of thought why were you begging me to move 2500 miles to be with you the entire time you were banging her?!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They say anything to get a piece of ass and anything to keep their wives at home. Such liars!

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 2:56 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GENERAL STATEMENTS: Please refrain from making statements that generalize gender, WS/OP/BS, race, religion or political alignment.

from the forum description for ICR:

A forum for people to talk to others who have experienced the same unique situation and share their thoughts with each other. There will be no venting in this forum it is a place strictly for support and encouragement. Please feel free to join in any thread where you have personally experienced the same situation and you feel you can give comfort and hope.


[This message edited by drowninginsorrow at 2:56 PM, June 18th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
drowninginsorrow
♀ Member
Member # 4545
Red  Posted: 2:57 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lonely&depressed you have a pm coming


Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.- Matt Groening
"I've found the secret to life. I'm ok when everything is not ok"- Tori Amos lyrics

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