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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: OC support thread BS Only
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dreamer,

They will take your income into consideration when they set your H CS. So if you are thinking of going back to work I would wait until after CS is set. By the way, I think taking spouses income into conideration when setting CS is a load of horse crap !!!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
dreamer1
♀ Member
Member # 13716
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree, that it is horse shit . Why should we have to pay for our H mistakes, or even children we are not physically responsible for. Wow guess we just get the shit end of the deal all around, I have even looked at how the OP holds all the cards, cause it is solely her choice to keep or abort, or to take morning after pill, fetility pills, or whatever and the man has no say any choice they decide upon. That just is so wrong how the system is set up. It infuriates me to no end. How much power is given to women and their deceipt. . I would understand if this something of a mutual agreement to have children, but when it comes to purposely getting pregnant by a married man, to trap them, or to make them get off the pot and leave, is just pure wrong.

Just very bitter at how vendictive this women has been, and i use the term women very loosely.

They really should have some kind of law out there against all this crap. They do have it if they F...ing hit you, but not if they tear your heart out. And for the women that do this all on purpose, WTF.. Do they really think getting pregnant by a married man, or any man before their relationship is stabel is a good thing.. Pleeease...


S(he) Be(lie)ve(d)
Me-BS 48
Him-FWH 50
Friends 34 yrs-Married 26 yrs
D-Day 1/20/2007
LTA-To Many False R to count and D-days, Last D-day June 11,2010
4 stepchildren SS 28, SD 29, Twin SS 2yrs.
Twin OC, born 6/23/2008
Trying to see if R is pos

Posts: 558 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Arizona
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dreamer.............. I actually called family court regarding child support. I was informed that both OW and H would be required to produce their tax returns. My suggestion to you is that we you do resume work that you do your income taxes separately from your H(married filing separate). Before I pay for CS for OC I would rather get a legal separation from my H if only so my income would not be included. My should OC benefit from the income of 3 people. I have a child of my own to support.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Auntcis...........Did you and your H have a file joint tax return during the time you CS order was set.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
firstandthird
♀ Member
Member # 17022
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

here in ohio, they absolutely do not take my income into consideration. they said that the spouse should not have to pay for the sins of the other. maybe it is different state to state. if that was the case, why would anybody work during the time the court proceedings were going on.


Me: BS 26
Him: WS(ONS) 27
Wedding Day: Mar 17, 2007
ONS: Sept 4, 2007
OC born: May 22, 2008
Nov 25, 2008: Found out the OC is not his!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 108 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: ohio
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exactly, I still think under the circumstance they should file separately. OW has told my H that she didn't want anything from him. So far she hasn't applied for CS. OC is 7 months. I still told him the right thing to do is contribute.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lonely&depressed.... Yes my H and I did file a joint tax return, but I have been a SAHM since our first child was born. So if the OW thought she was gonna get money out of me too, she was dead wrong!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smart!

[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 11:34 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday)]


Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
charlotte
♀ Member
Member # 3663
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

The child support thing varies by state.

Maryland did not take my income into consideration. It was only based on my H's income.

Check child support laws for your state.


Posts: 3983 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: Maryland ES
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My state did not take into account my income either. You can google your state and find some basic CS info if you want.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

want2book...........did you have a joint tax return with your H or a seperate return?

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes every state is different. My sister is dealing with Ohio and Maryland. While they are not taking her H income into account, they did ask about it.

I have not filed jointly with my H since 1988 when they took my income tax refund for CS that my H owed for his oldest D. Yes I could have gotten back my part of the refund by filing an injured spouse claim, but it was not worth the hassle.

My suggestion, check with a accountant or someone who does taxes to see what is the best way for you to file. My goal would be for the OW to get as little of my income as possible.

[This message edited by BMC0415 at 8:14 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday)]


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
charlotte
♀ Member
Member # 3663
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always filed a joint tax return. I own my business.

My income was not factered into child support at all.

The child support was set based on my H's paycheck stubs.


Posts: 3983 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: Maryland ES
want2bok
♀ Member
Member # 19913
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have always filed joint. They get his income information from his employer. If your H is self-employed, then they will want to see his/your tax returns and Sch C.


BS - me 32
WS - him 32
3 beautiful girls - 11, 9, 7 and angel baby 7/9/10
D-Day 1/07 - 1+ yr PA
OW 35
OC born 12/06
R since 2/07 and going well

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2008
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just for the record incase anyone was wondering, the 2 states we have dealt with CS issues in are Idaho and New York and both states took my income into consideration when setting CS.


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
soverysad
♀ Member
Member # 14594
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just want to poke my head in and say to everyone: think twice before contributing any money for OC before a court order is in place. Or, if the H decides he wants to send money -- do it all with lots of documentation -- ie. a letter stating what the money is for (CS), send it as a money order or check (keep a photocopy of it for your files) and send it via certified mail, signature required. Get a three ring binder and keep track of every dime spent on OC from the beginning. This will help in court. Otherwise, the court may very well consider any money given as a "gift" or the OW will lie and say your H never sent a dime.

Remember -- the majority of these women were unscrupulous liars who slept with a MM -- they will more than likely follow the "OW handbook" and lie, lie, lie -- if they think it will work to their advantage. And trust me, most of the time, the court stuff works to the OW's advantage. There is no such thing as reasonable or justice in family court.

Further, if your H hasn't done a DNA test ... don't send any money.

Just my two cents ... as some of you may remember, the OW in my case is on the extreme end of criminal.



Posts: 518 | Registered: May 2007
MollyJo
♀ Member
Member # 18820
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be very careful about any non-court ordered CS. Our attorney told us that in our state, even with a written, signed, notarized private agreement about CS, the OW can come back YEARS LATER and get back support thru the courts. She can even ADMIT that she received whatever money from H, and if it didn't come thru the system, she can demand back support to day 1.


Me: BS Him: SOB OC born 9/08. We've split up but I still see him every day and the OW occasionally. Lost my whole life because he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Posts: 219 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: midwest
MollyJo
♀ Member
Member # 18820
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Update on OW/OC...

Background: OC is due end of August. OW and H have been NC, but no formal NC letter had happened up until recently.

A couple of weeks ago, OW sent H an email basically saying, "I don't want a relationship with you, but if you want to have anything to do with the baby, contact me and we can work it out".

Last week, he mailed her a letter saying, "I agree that no relationship is possible, and what's more, since all visitation and CS issues in our state MUST go thru the court system to be enforcable, there's no reason for us to have contact except thru the court...this way we can focus on what's best for the baby" etc.

Today, she sent back an email saying, "And here I thought you had OUR DAUGHTER'S [note--THAT was a stab in the heart, and intentionally so, I'm guessing] best interests at heart...we should be able to put our differences aside and do what's best for her...if you change your mind you can come to the hospital or to my house..."

So much for "I don't want a relationship...". and the best part was where she said "I will respect your wishes and not contact you..." ...isn't writing that in an email contact?

He deleted the email and is not going to respond...she wants him back so badly despite trying to tell him she hates him...she lets her friends know it and they tell me...it's really sad that a 30 year old college educated "woman" would think that the old, "If i just get pregnant, he'll leave her and marry me for sure" thing would work. Isn't that something that most girls outgrow after junior high?


Me: BS Him: SOB OC born 9/08. We've split up but I still see him every day and the OW occasionally. Lost my whole life because he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Posts: 219 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: midwest
soverysad
♀ Member
Member # 14594
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wait Molly Jo. Absolutely go through the court system. Be prepared for the OW to try to keep you out of it. You and H stand as a united front. Document everything the OW does and says. Keep everything neatly filed. My mindset is to be "reasonable, rational and very sane." It drives the OW nuts.

Hugs to you.



Posts: 518 | Registered: May 2007
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Auntcis..........Did the court look at the fact that there were COM also? Do you think it would have worked out differently if you had filed separately? Are your H's CS payments reasonable?

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
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