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User Topic: R'ing with an addict
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, April 7th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

***bump***


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Feb 2008
myshereeamor15
♀ New Member
Member # 28166
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, April 8th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H has been addicted to pot the whole time we have been married, over 12 years. He got into some legal trouble back in the summer and was required to attend intensive outpatient treatment for a year, class 3 nights a week, and NA meetings, PO Officer, random drug testing, etc. He started January 21 and walked out on us Feb. 26th. Found out he was talking to an old female friend from FaceBook through my phone records! He denies sleeping with her! Acts like a totally different man since he is clean and sober! Blames me for everything, won't try to work on marriage! I had no idea him getting clean would result in him having an affair and leaving his family! Any advice greatly appreciated!

Posts: 2 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
living4hope
♀ Member
Member # 27556
Helpless  Posted: 8:13 AM, May 4th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H is a SA and would be an alcoholic, however, after our children were born he swore off alcohol and stuck strickly to women! We are just beginning the process of R and I am not sure if he will be able to do this. He has stopped with other women before but as soon as we get back into life and I am not paying complete attention to him he reverts back to his old behavior. I do feel like this is it - this R has to happen and be authentic or it is time for me to leave. It is killing me though - I love him and I planned my marriage to be forever! For some silly reason I thought our marriage would make him want only me - I found the exact opposite. I don't know what my future holds but it is a terrifying walk and I wish I didn't have to take it!


BS(Me) - 44
WH - 49...died 8/28/2011
DDay1 - 11/27/2009
Dday2 - 2/2/2010
Dday3 - 6/25/2010 - 3 PA - 1+ years each, 1 year EA
Married - 14 years
Children - boy 13, girl 10

Posts: 69 | Registered: Feb 2010
notasaint
♀ Member
Member # 28465
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, May 23rd (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just starting R with an addict, clean from pot for almost 3 years now. He's realizing his A was a form of the addiction coming out as well.

I'm praying and hoping and wishing with every fiber in my being that IC and hard work on both our parts will let us lead clean and happy lives in the future.


Me - BW 36
Him - FWH 38 SLA (newlywednupset)
M < 1 year
D-days 8/2009 and 4/2010 TT to 10/2010
3 OW over the course of 2 years, all older, one married.
* My husband was in an open relationship from day one, he just failed to tell ME this.*

Posts: 1048 | Registered: May 2010 | From: FL
lisathemartian
♀ New Member
Member # 28760
Question  Posted: 3:42 PM, June 16th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my WH has a addict personality before we met he was addicted to drugs then it was gambling and since we been having problems in our marriage we live with my mom and stepdad he has gone back to his old friends and back to drugs on 6/5/10 i was playing with his phone taking pics of him and the kids and found a picture of a girl giving him oral sex. my world came crumbling down. we have been married 11 years and have 3 kids when i showed him the picture (woke him up) he acted like he couldn't see or knew what i was showing him i left the room and slept in my sons room. the next morning he was gone before anyone woke up when he called later in the afternoon he acted like it never happened i was very angry and told him to come get his stuff and leave. he came got his stuff kiss the kids goodbye and said he was going to be gone for awhile. that night he text me and we text back and forth most of the night then he came and got some more stuff the following day i told him i needed to know what he was going to do about the kids he said whatever i wanted if i wanted he to disappear he will he was so sorry and it meant nothing it was a girl that wanted some of his drugs and he exchanged drugs for oral twice and then the 3rd time was sex. he swears he loves me and doesn't care for her and that we were having so much problems he didn't think i loved or cared for him anymore. he was also drunk and high on all 3 occurrences. he kept saying he doesn't want me to suffer and never wanted to hurt me. he has been text me saying he loves me and misses me and kids and if i can ever forgive him he doesn't want to lose me. it's been 10 days and i believe him and love him so much and i know he loves me but i feel like i should be angry still and not willing to forgive him that it's to soon. i have been writing and in all my poems/letters/journal i can't say i hate him i don't i love him and just want to forget it ever happened and be with him again. is this normal? or am i forgiving him to quick??? has anyone been in this place????

Posts: 9 | Registered: Jun 2010
cautiousoptimist
♀ Member
Member # 24222
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, June 27th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lisa,

hugs (((((lisa)))))

YOu are in a really tough position. What plans does he have for getting sober?

I would definitely send him to rehab for a while if that is at all possible. I know it's difficult if he is unemployed, insurance problems, etc. but this is an investment in your marriage and your future.

Don't even let him come back until he is willing to do whatever you need.

If rehab isn't possible, then he needs to get to 12 step meetings, get a sponsor, etc.

What drugs is he taking? Opioids and alcohol and barbituates are the only things (usually) that demand a medical detox. If he is on speed, meth, coke, ice, he will be uncomfortable but it won't threaten his health.

My FWH also claims and believes that if he were not on drugs he wouldn't have cheated. I'm not so sure.

It's long road to hoe, and you will need his help if you want to save your marriage.It sounds like he'll need to do a lot of growing up fast to be the husband you deserve. Good luck!


Me: BW, 43
Him: FWH, 50, alcoholic/drug addict in rehab, staying sober
D-day:4/30/09
Marriage 11 years
In R, doing our best
I will have it even so.

Posts: 652 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: san diego
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, September 8th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*bump*


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Feb 2008
to_the_left
♀ Member
Member # 28901
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, September 9th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found out in April that my WH was having an affair and in June I found out that he was addicted to cocaine. Both discoveries shocked me to say the least, but the cocaine addiction completely blindsided me. Looking back over the last 3 years of our marriage and the problems we were/ he was having it all makes sense now.

WH admits he needs help and our MC/IC is making a referral for drug counseling, but it will take a long time/if ever, for him to tackle all his demons. Lord knows this man has a lifetime of them.

All that I know is that I am tired. I did not sign up for this life.


Me- BW, 35
WH, 34
Mom to 3, D(8), L(4) and V(1)
DD- April 2010
RA- Not sure if we can.

"See, when I get the strength to leave. You always tell me that you need me. And I'm weak cause I believe you. And I'm mad because I love you. S


Posts: 107 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: In limbo, fighting to get out.
Trying2getby
♀ Member
Member # 29367
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, September 11th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a great thread.

I have a few things to say

Most important, it's easier to focus on the addict and how they need help, but anyone who is with an addict is a codependent and also needs help
There is a lot of talk about how your addicts should be going into rehab etc, but not one mention of what you're all doing about your own "addictions" to the addict and trying to rescue.

My ex (caught him cheating and left him a few weeks ago) is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober a few years and I would always catch him in little lies, but never thought he would cheat (or maybe I just didn't want to believe it).
My ex has been going to AA 4 x a week for many years, does his 12 steps (off and on) has a sponsor yet, he still carried on his little affair lying to my face over and over.
And then in typical ADDICT fashion, he blamed me and told me it was my fault.
Then took the blame, and then said he was sorry many times.
I says he loves me, wants to get well and needs to find out who he is
Sure he does, he ony needs to find himself because I left him.
My gut says, he's lying and is just trying to make me believe he's getting well.
He tells me how sad he is and how difficult this has been.
He's shown NO remorse for what he did.

I can go on and on about him, but the bottom line is he's SICK SICK SICK!

Addicts are emotional and spiritually sick people.
It's RARE when an addict actually recovers to the point that they never act like low lives.

I've been in Al Anon for well over a year now trying to make myself healthy and realize I need to detach from a person who is SERIOUSLY destructive.

I've heard many happy endings from my al anon meetings and from some couples meetings I attended, but the ONLY way an addict can even try to function in a healthy way is if they are in a program for the rest of their lives.
And then the spouse (us) will also need to attend a program.
Being with an addict is torterous and empty.
My ex is a dry drunk and he was a BEAUTIFUL person when he drank and an asshole when he got sober.

I can only imagine all the times he's cheated and I never found out.

Addicts, whether it be drugs, booze, sex or pills, always have other addictions.
If they do not get to the core of their pain, they will never change,

My ex wants to R (I think), but I need to think if I really want to live like this.
I love my ex more than anything, but I love myself more and I'm not sure I can go through anymore of this.

There are always risks to any relationship, but being in a relationship with an addict is like standing under a tree during a lightning storm, you just never know when you're going to get struck.

I would have figured this thread would have had more replies since ALL addict are cheaters and there are many people at this site facing infedelity


Posts: 142 | Registered: Aug 2010
Godsgirl
♀ Member
Member # 27521
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, September 13th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH is a SA and is addicted to lying and working and probably a whole lot of other things yet to be discovered.

He actually accused me the other day of wanting him to be an addict because it's easier for me to handle the affairs.

I don't think so!!!!!

It makes it worse, IMO, because like it's been mentioned, they are addicts for life and have to stay in a recovery program.

There is no guarantee that my WH will maintain sobriety. And that is not a comforting thought for me!


Me-BS (38)
Him-SAWH (38)
4 precious kiddos
Multi DDay's,False R
4 Ea's, 1 ONS, 3 STA's, & 2 LTA's & 1 OC

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!


Posts: 836 | Registered: Feb 2010
lulykr
♀ Member
Member # 29697
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, September 27th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WS is convinced that his addiction is the reason for A. We are butting heads on this a bit. I agree that with out being clean the A was bound to happen sooner or later. But I am having a tough time handing the A over to addiction. If that makes sense. He is a high functioning addict, so it was easy to love in the lie a lot longer. Longer to reach rock bottom. His addiction weakened our marriage. I detached but not with love. Just a lost of resentments. We are both in recovery now. NA and NarAnon. The 12 steps really work if you work them. Its been three months since dd, so early days still. WS is coming up on 60 days clean. Pretty shocking really. He hasn't strung that many clean days together since 2006! It is true that all of us in relationships with addicts are
Codependent. Melodie Beatty really helped to save me from myself and the affects of trying to be in a relationship with an addict. (Codependent No More)
Nar anon is amazing as well. They even have an online support forum that really is amazing.
I hope that more people post here. It feels kinda lonely.

Posts: 589 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Gainesville FL
phoenix_vs
♀ Member
Member # 29193
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, December 27th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's hard not to take the cheating personally, as a sign of inadequacy and unattractiveness on my part. My head knows that he's an alcoholic, and that he has an addictive personality, and that he certainly despises himself, buy my heart still hurts.
Ya, I'm still angry.


I'm not sad that you lied to me. I'm sad that I can never believe you again.

Well, I'm sad that you lied to me, too.


Posts: 371 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Great Falls Montana
poopylala
♀ Member
Member # 30119
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, January 21st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WBF was/is an online gaming addict. He met people online, one of them became an EA which eventually turned into a PA. Then he had a ONS after that with a girl from his class. He has major insecurity issues and really doesn't have any real life friends (he's always had online friends though since he was younger) and his school buddies decided to tease him about sleeping with a girl from their study group and to be accepted or to fit in, he finally did it when he had the opportunity.

I don't think he's a porn addict although he did look at porn after I explicitly asked him to promise me he wouldn't look at it alone and then he visited SI the next morning for like 1 minute and then went to view porn. I haven't seen any evidence of him viewing porn since then so I hope there isn't any other addictions besides online gaming to worry about as that one is hard enough to deal with but we'll see what happens with all this.


BGF (me)- 24
FWBF (him)- 24
in a LTR

forgiven and in R :)

"To err is human.
To forgive,
divine"


Posts: 956 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Houston, TX
SerenityHope84
♀ New Member
Member # 30717
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, January 21st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im so glad that we can be here for eachother my ex bf who I am R with is a sex and love addict he is in a 12 step program for it and has been sober for almost a month. I take everything one day at a time and am so thankful for him seeking help. I go to my own 12 step group for people who have been affected by a sex addict or sex and love addict. The people there are great and so supportive. From going there I have grown so much and learned not to be an enabler of his addiction but also hold him accountable for his actions and also hold myself accountanle for my own actions. We can love them and support them, but we have to realize we cannot change them. All addicts must get the help to change themselves. We are responsible for our own wellbeing and happiness. We can only change ourselves. Those who try to maniplate the addict to control are only giving themselves false hope. If you make a choice you have to stick to it to regain your sanity. Its a long hard rd but remember we are all worth it! If anyone wants info on the 12 step groups pm me so I can give you info! And if you need to talk im here for you!!!!!!!!


Me BGF 26
Him Wexbf 22
D-Day Dec 19 2010 EA
5 month old daughter
Happily R!!!!!!!
Live Love Laugh Cry! Hope For The Best! Expect The Worse And Know Things Will Be Ok

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: SerenityHope84
phoenix_vs
♀ Member
Member # 29193
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, January 23rd (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There isn't any reconciling with an addict, if they're still using or drinking. I can't have a conversation with WBF because he's always drunk. His behavior was alarming night before last. I slept with my contacts in, so I would be able to see, if there was a problem in the middle of the night. I don't like being afraid. I told him that, and he blamed me for his bad mood, saying it's because I'm not giving him any money for the household.
Anyway, all the best to all of you. Please keep posting, you are more help than you may realize. I need all of you.


I'm not sad that you lied to me. I'm sad that I can never believe you again.

Well, I'm sad that you lied to me, too.


Posts: 371 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Great Falls Montana
plzwakeme
♀ Member
Member # 30645
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, January 23rd (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just started a thread today in regards to my story and trying to figure out what lies ahead of me in regards to my FWH and his addictions. My head is totally swirling.

My first DDay was in November when I stumbled on emails between FWH and MOW#2 (didn't know about MOW#1 until just two weeks ago on my DDay #2 when I found MORE emails). At that time he told me that the actual PA was always after a night of heavy drinking and partying with OW (they work for the same company and were traveling for business with the same group of people). I had always known that he was a binge drinker, but he admitted to me exactly how much he was really drinking weekly (he travels almost every week 3-4 nights a week and has for 11 years). He was doing his really heavy, blackout drinking on the road and limiting his drinking at home. I told him one condition of R after DDay #1 was an immediate stop to all drinking. He complied without question and stopped cold turkey. A few days after that he actually went through withdrawal while on the road traveling. He had to leave the conference early and I had to pick him up at the airport. It was enough at the time to get him to say, "I have a drinking problem." That was when he told me how much he had been drinking over time.

After DDay #1 FWH would tell me that the reason for his PA/EA with OW#2 was because I made him feel unloved/ unwanted. He "understood" that it was his fault entirely that he chose to have an A, BUT that was how he felt and how he justified his actions. I still didn't know about his other A and his "almost" ONS at that point. He was still pretty much in his A fog after DDay #1.

When DDay #2 happened it finally hit me how incredibly messed up our relationship had been and for how long. I can say without a doubt that even two weeks later I am still living in a cocoon of shock. He admitted to me that he knows he has boundary issues with women. He likes the chase the idea of being wanted. He said the PA for him made him feel guilty and was not all that enjoyable. They actually had sex 3 times and then it "cooled" down into an EA. He didn't tell me about MOW#1 after the first DDay because he didn't think "it counted" since there had been no PA. He now understands that every inappropriate encounter and thought he has had about other women (including some issues with looking at naked women online, not porn, just liking to look at pictures, even after DDay #1!) is detrimental to our marriage.

One thing that is a major concern for me is that he seems to believe that if he does everything right by being the kind of husband he should have been since day one and not drinking that everything will be fine going forward. He is starting IC on Friday, but only because I made it a requirement for R. I am worried that since he seems to think he isn't an "addict" but that he has "addiction problems" that won't really try to recover. He's rationalizing and minimizing all over the place.

Sorry for the long ramble. I was rambling on the other thread, too, so I've taken up more than my fair share of space on here today probably. I do so appreciate the help and support that's been offered to me. I didn't really understand before today that I could benefit from Al-Anon even if FWH refuses to do AA. I definitely need some help for me, too. I know I've enabled him tremendously over the years. Now I am left to deal with the pain of his A's AND finding out that he is an addict to alcohol and the thrill of the chase with women.


Me BW 37, Him STBXH 38
Married 13 years, hoping to NOT make it to 14
DDay 1 10/21/10
4 MOW & many ONS attempts
Heading towards S/D NOT SOON ENOUGH!
"What the caterpillar calls the end, a butterfly calls the beginning." ~ Lao Tzu

Posts: 574 | Registered: Jan 2011
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, January 23rd (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I swear I'm not stalking you... Others will be along later, I'm sure, but since weekends are slow I didn't want to leave you hanging.

First, just breathe. You don't have to rush to "fix" this. It took me a month and a half of shock to be able to take a single step toward dealing with the A and the addiction. Go at a pace that's comfortable for you.

FWH would tell me that the reason for his PA/EA with OW#2 was because I made him feel unloved/ unwanted.

That's blameshifting. It's also part of an alcoholic's mindset. FWH justified his drinking and his A by making everything my fault. Learning to shift responsibility back to himself was a process that required IC for him. In the meantime, don't accept the blame from him. Verbally reject it. You don't have to do it coldly, but it is necessary so that he knows you aren't playing that game anymore.

He is starting IC on Friday

Is the IC a substance abuse counselor? If not, he needs a new IC. Beyond that, let go of the outcome for him. I know that's a tough one, but you can not control his drinking or his decision to face his addiction. He has to make that choice. That was one of the most difficult things for me to accept, but until I backed off FWH had no reason to deal with his problems... I was always there to clean up behind him and take care of whatever mess he made.

Also, are you in MC? If so, is the MC experienced with infidelity? Doing that will help him "get" what is needed to R. The book "Not Just Friends" was helpful too.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
plzwakeme
♀ Member
Member # 30645
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, January 23rd (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fighting: I know you're not stalking! LOL! I am so appreciative of your help today. I'm actually able to breathe now -- this morning I couldn't catch my breath for my nerves.

We are in MC, but I am starting to feel like maybe our C is not the best choice for us. She was actually the one to suggest to FWH after DDay #1 that he needed to tell me how he was feeling when he had the A and if there was anything I did or did not do in the marriage that made him feel justified to have the A. ??? He took that ball and ran with it, but using his passive aggressive behaviors would tell me, "I know it's not your faultI had the A, BUT . . ."

Every time we go to MC we get so wrapped up in the conversation that I never get a chance to ask her her experience with infidelity and addiction. Tomorrow we have another session and this is actually the first thing I am going to bring up.

Thanks again for all of your help! I have a better understanding of this whole addiction side of our R than I could have hoped earlier today.


Me BW 37, Him STBXH 38
Married 13 years, hoping to NOT make it to 14
DDay 1 10/21/10
4 MOW & many ONS attempts
Heading towards S/D NOT SOON ENOUGH!
"What the caterpillar calls the end, a butterfly calls the beginning." ~ Lao Tzu

Posts: 574 | Registered: Jan 2011
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, January 23rd (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She was actually the one to suggest to FWH after DDay #1 that he needed to tell me how he was feeling when he had the A and if there was anything I did or did not do in the marriage that made him feel justified to have the A. ???


I'd fire her. No MC experienced in infidelity would do that. It's important for your H to be completely accountable for the decision to have an A, regardless of what was going on in the M. Plus, add in addiction and his perception of events is already skewed based on his seeking various justifications for drinking. Alcoholics are selfish. Period. FWH spent years blaming me for everything from the weather to tire going flat. Of course, he could point out things I did that justified his A.

Seriously, I'd look for an MC that was more experienced with infidelity. If you are lucky, you can find one that deals with couples reeling from addiction issues too.


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
phoenix_vs
♀ Member
Member # 29193
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, January 24th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alcoholics are selfish. Period.

Yes, they are. As I see it, they like to work everything for their benefit, while making it appear that it is for your (my) benefit.
Here's my dilemma, and I need feedback. Of course, I'm telling the story from my own point of view, but I will try to be objective.
Five years ago, I moved in with WBF. I told him I did not want to just live with someone, I wanted to be married. He said, ok, we'll get married. During our discussions about moving in together, he said if I could contribute a certain specified amount of money to the household, about half the house payment, half the utilities, that would be our arrangement. We are both single, middle aged, with our own children, our own jobs and our own bills, and that sounded fair.Leaving out a few details, fast forward five years. I have done what was agreed on, pulling my weight and then some. We are not married, I wonder if he's been faithful all this time, and he has had several strange alcoholic episodes where he yelled at me and said we were over, and I had to move. In each case, he came around in a few hours, and apologized. We worked together as a team in another state a year ago, but it did not work out, so we moved back to his home. All the time we were gone, we left the house empty, and I continued to pay him what was agreed on. He said to reduce the amount I was paying him, as I was also paying for health insurance for my son who was just finishing college. I would bring up marriage issue from time to time, but have gotten no commitment as to when. When we moved back, we were on unemployment, I continued to pay him, and it was tight, we both had some savings so we made it until right at the end of the benefits, he got a really well-paying job in a field that he is very good at. At that point, I still had my part time job paying just enough to cover my bills. So he said he would take care of both of us.
However, because he is an alcoholic, he has had a lot of medical bills in the last few years. In addition, he had an accident that injured one leg and foot, and has had to have surgery, with the accompanying pain of recovery. He decided early to self medicate with alcohol, supposedly to kill the pain. Tt was during this time the EA with the old girlfriend accelerated with calls many times during the day, back and forth. Always behind my back. Then last fall, he started getting drugs off the street. Painkillers. And he's starting to get tight with the money. I had put a keylogger on the computer last fall, and I could tell he was withdrawing large amounts of cash from his account. Normally fastidious with his checking account, for the last few months he has been getting overdrafts all the time. And he started implying that I was being a slacker for not getting a better job so I could contribute to the household. He says that now that he has a good job, the medical bills are coming back to haunt him and he is afraid they will garnish his wages. He says it costs XX amount to run the household, however I do not see any of the bills.
OK, as I see it, first of all, here is a situation that is not my fault. His medical bills, I can sympathize with, but his own addiction was the reason for most of them. Add the alcohol and street drug expense, which he won't tell me how much it is, only that it's "not that much!"
I've been contributing to the equity in his home for five years, and I am not on the title to the home. His EA with the old girlfriend, who btw, looks like (bear with me) last years sneakers!he totally minimized and blamed on her "she wanted to talk."
OK, now I'm really upset. Do I really owe him?


I'm not sad that you lied to me. I'm sad that I can never believe you again.

Well, I'm sad that you lied to me, too.


Posts: 371 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Great Falls Montana
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