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I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: For those suffering P T S D
reallylost
♀ Member
Member # 18185
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had all of the symptoms mentioned...I didn't think to go to the dr...I was afraid they would put me away...my grief and pain was so undescribable ...I also haven't had but one period in 6 months...hadn't heard that one..anyone else...I am also about that age but to have stopped right after dday?


Me: 47
WS: 38
D-Day:12-26-07
Married: 11 years
divorce final: 11/19/08
3 children: d25, d21(autistic),d8(ours together)
divorce final: 11/19/08

Posts: 166 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: KY
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm guessing it's possible for the shock of Dday to throw a woman into menopause if she was pre-menopausal at the time. Women under extreme duress will often stop menstruating even if they are not near menopausal age. It's worth checking into. Are you having the unpleasantness of menopause? Hot flashes and the like?


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
reallylost
♀ Member
Member # 18185
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, not at all...my body has been so out of control...I hate feeling this way. My emotions, moods, concentration levels...I think 6 months in that sometimes I am getting better and then the next moment I am hitting an all new low. The sudden sadness, helplessness, crappy sleep, not being able to handle things that were so easy before..Do you think AD are in order...I would hate to not feel these things and become numb and maybe slow the process of healing..I hope I can recognize when the pain is too much..I don't want to be medicated..I have seen people who got so they didn't care about anything..I have children to care for one is autistic and I have a grandchild on the way..lots to celebrate and be present for.


Me: 47
WS: 38
D-Day:12-26-07
Married: 11 years
divorce final: 11/19/08
3 children: d25, d21(autistic),d8(ours together)
divorce final: 11/19/08

Posts: 166 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: KY
hollow-promise
♀ Member
Member # 16905
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

only once,

I also have PTSD and I am taking wellbutrin which is the only AD I have been able to tolerate. I have had to be proactive with the MD's and be my own advocate for proper prescription administering. I tried 4 others and 1 worked but insurance wouldn't pay for it, the other 3 made me sick.

I have also been taking an anti-anxiety prescription which has helped me a great deal. The anxiety med has actually been more help than the AD's. If you think that your main issue is anxiety, perhaps medication for that would be helpful.

I also take sleeping pills at night, but taking them during the day will only give the impression that it helps anxiety. The right meds will help without causing you to feel lethargic and depressed.

I hate that I need these meds to survive now, but I would be suicidal without them.

I am also involved with EMDR and that is doing a very good job in helping me deal with PTSD. It is not a quick process but resolving stress issues usually takes a great deal of time. EMDR helps put traumatic memories into long term storage so that triggers aren't as painful. You don't forget about them, but you don't have the "fight or flight" response when one is triggered.

If you try EMDR, make sure the therapist is certified in that area. They should have credentials showing this information. Good luck to you.

[This message edited by hollow-promise at 8:35 AM, June 19th (Thursday)]


Me-BS 59
Him-WS 55
MOW-49 borderline personality nightmare
D-Day 3/21/07, my daughter's birthday
Married 9 years-working on R after 5 months of partial truths

Posts: 149 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Midwest
only once
Member
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, June 19th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hollow, thanks for your reply.

I have read about EMDR, but only practice what I've read like using rapid eye movement, and taking in sounds and things like that.

My major concen is anxiety. I'm 54 years old, and have a family history of heart attacks. My dad died at 45 and my mother had a heart attack in her 40's (wasn't properly diagnosed), and I'm mostly fearful of what the stress is doing to me. I know it's not good to be under so much stress.

If I could valiantly slap a lid on it I would, but that's not gonna happen. Hoping going to hubby's doc will make a difference. I will keep posting.


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 476 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
sickened
♀ Member
Member # 18250
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, June 19th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I have this.

let me ask a question:

do you ever feel like you need to make yourself trigger so you won't forget how bad it was?

sometimes I want to put it behind me, but I don't feel like I'm done processing it so I actually make myself mad again.

does anyone know what I mean at all?


BW 48
FWH 59 recovering alcoholic
M 17 years
4 kids (ours): 9, 12, 14, 16
1 grown (his): 30
DDay 2/16/08 w/ 26 year old (vomit) after a year of false MC
Status: trying

Posts: 733 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: MA
hollow-promise
♀ Member
Member # 16905
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, June 20th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only once,
your history is very much like my own. My father died of heart problems at 49, my brother and sister died at 52 and 46 respectively. I also have heart problems and high blood pressure which makes stress a real killer.

I have previous traumas which have made this A particularly damaging to me. EMDR has helped, but you can't do it on your own. There is a specific technique and equipment that is used.

If you could get the anti-anxiety meds you might start to feel better. I am close to your age and I can relate to what you are going through.

Take care of yourself.


Me-BS 59
Him-WS 55
MOW-49 borderline personality nightmare
D-Day 3/21/07, my daughter's birthday
Married 9 years-working on R after 5 months of partial truths

Posts: 149 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Midwest
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, June 20th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sickened,

I know what you mean. I don't think I intentionally trigger myself...but I do find myself jolted when I realize that I haven't been thinking too much about it. It's like I'm afraid that if I let my guard down for even a little whle, I'll get blind-sided again. So I keep myself in a constant state of "alert".
Can't possibly be good for me.


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got triggered by his anger tonight. He's been miserable for the last 2 weeks, just annoyed at everything, contrary. Well in MC he walks in and says everything's great. I lost it. He was like this during the affair years, denying problems I tried to discuss. I was literally shaking.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
unarmbears
♀ Member
Member # 7480
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((weepy)))))

How are you going to be able to stay with this man of two faces and heal?

That to me is the most important question for you?

He triangulates, plays the "sensible, happy, nothing's wrong" guy with others right after he has poked you with a hot pin in private long enough to make you feel crazy, so he can "show" people how crazy you are!

I am all for staying with someone if they quit traumatizing you. He hasn't. It takes a long time to heal from PTSD, but only if the traumatic events cease. He hasn't quit playing with your head and heart.

Wow!

I was thinking about this support thread a lot in the past few weeks.

For me my biggest trigger was my H on the computer. All his infidelity was online, but it was in our home, while I was there, while I was gone, while I was working etc etc etc. It was not a safe place for me. I would come in the door and H would give me the "glare of hate" and turn back to the screen.

The very fact that I can actually sit in this office, on the computer is testimony to FACING your triggers.

I also was peri-menopausal when H went online for the first go round in 2001-02. It was one month to the day after his computer fried (I still blame too much cybersex lol) that I had the last period of my life. I was at a conference on of all things Grief and Loss...ironic eh? The PMS had me crying (deep wracking sobs) in my room, in the bathroom off the conference room, at dinner, in small groups. The presenters at the conference were really concerned about me. The last day I woke up and had to go buy tampons (sorry if tmi) since it had been six months since my last period. My mood had improved considerably. Told the concerned presenters it was hormones. They were all women in their 50's and 60's so most understood.

I do think that the hormonal changes can exacerbate PTSD for us ladies.

In late 2003 the IT folks at the state level decided that the email was getting too slow due to use and added MSN messenger for discussions and such that we had used email for.

That was, along with yahoo, my H's drug of choice. He would hook up in a yahoo chatroom and then move to MSN, which was more difficult for me to "find" anything.

One day, while at work, one of my coworkers was having a discussion on messenger with her supervisor. The MSN tones were very audible, I just got up and started to walk out my door and the therapist who worked in the same building saw my face, my body, and my shaking. She stepped into my office with me and said "What is that?" referring to how I was looking. She thought I had just found out someone had died. I told her what was going on and she asked if I would be comfortable talking to her. She was willing to refer me to someone else, but as I said earlier, it's a big state with few resources.

At my first appointment with her she said what she saw as I was hearing the chimes was the face of a person with PTSD. It was a bit of a specialty for her, so it was great to have someone at least identify my internal state by my external one.

She recommended anti-d's (was already on them and they were NOT working this time) and anti-anxiety meds. Xanax was really helpful, but I did end up addicted to them. I haven't had any meds for over 2 years now, but I still have triggers etc. I view them as snippets of unresolved crap that need resolution.

Now this is the hard part to explain, since it does seem antithetical, but facing the triggers does help them lose their power. Learning what I could control (my internal state) and what I couldn't (external events) helped a lot.

I had practiced yoga, had natural childbirth and been into weight lifting in my lifetime, so learning the relaxation techniques had already happened for me. The therapist was able to remind me to use them.

I had really a hard time when I would be on the road with my job. If the company cell phone was already in use by someone else, I had to bring mine which was shared with my H. I would either have to scroll through all the names and #'s H had entered in there in order to call home or have to dial it. Before we got cable the line would be busy...I knew that meant he was online chatting it up with his g/f's. After we got cable he would answer, but I could hear the tap tap tap of the keys while he would give me one or two word answers.

I would feel like driving into a mountain or ditch or off a bridge when I would call, so I quit calling. Then I would get hell later for not calling. Rock and hard place here.

The therapist would have me visualize the screen on the cell phone, and have me deep breathe and do square breathing (breathe in for the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, exhale for the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, two normal breaths and then square again) to help regain some control over my reactions.

She had me bring the cell phone to an appointment. She scrolled through the phone book. She would say a name and number while checking my pulse. She could identify by my pulse rate the women H was messing around with and the "neutral" names and numbers.

After three more sessions around the cell phone she asked why those numbers and names were in there in the first place. I said "The phone is in my H's name" She asked "who pays the bill?" and of course over responsible, anal retentive caregiving codepentent (go figure) ME

She reminded me that even with the phone in his name, it was still community property and I being the payer of bills had every right to delete numbers of g/f's from her husband's phone.

She made me say the name and number, then she made me tell her what I was seeing in my head at the sound of my own voice saying those names and numbers. As I said each one I would tell her what my head was doing (the flashbacks I was having) and she would have me square breath until my pulse calmed down. I would say the name and number a few more times and then delete it. Each subsequent name and number I spent less time with the racing pulse than the time before. I was able to slow down my pulse by concentrating on my breathing within a few seconds. That was the first step in my healing really. Facing the trigger and learning to calm myself through it.

It was empowering. It was one little thing, but led to most of the other things that have helped.

I felt that my going into full PTSD mode at the sound of MSN messenger at that very moment the therapist was walking by was total kismet. My therapist said that the way things were looking it wouldn't have been long even if she hadn't been in the hallway at the time. She had noticed my almost total change in personality already, but that moment was the one that saved me, literally.

With the "quick fix" notion of HMO's and other insurance programs, it is hard to get the help we really need in the long term for this problem.

Eventually, after my H began to pull his head out of his ass, my job was still doing a number on me. Lots of kids were being shoved out of adoptive homes because of sexual acting out. I mean dumped! at my office door with garbage bags full of stuff and a very confused and hurt kid standing there. Lovely, my H had almost lost his home because of it too. My supervisor was useless. He had no clue what I was going through up in my office, he was 110 miles away and just didn't know how to be supportive at all. He was new, I was training him.

I quit my job, I was a shell of a person and there was going to be no healing if I was personalizing the trauma the kids I worked with were going through. I wasn't going to be able to help them either. For about six months I stared at the computer screen and cried because I just couldn't approve another adoptive home that in 2, 3, 4, 5 years was going to deliver children to my office because they "couldn't handle them." My lack of trust was obvious!

I was in crisis mode way too much. I lived on my retirement for a few months and just worked on me, my life, my marriage and came to some level of peace. I chewed through triggers like they were a peculiar form of nutrition. I kept using the techniques that I learned to figure out the why of the trigger. After a while I came to realize that the trigger was due to unresolved trauma. I had to face each one, realize what was really happening then and relax myself to learn the reality and learn to accept it.

It is much harder on you to fight the reality of what was happening. Coming to terms with the past can only happen if the trauma is not happening any longer. I had trouble healing for a year because I was in false R. It was still happening, but I couldn't heal from the past and the present. It had to stop and it did.

I do have to say however that I have worked with people have been traumatized for over 30 years. I knew how vital it was to face triggers. I knew that the only way was through it. I knew how comfortably uncomfortable you can get if you try to avoid the fear.

I have to be honest, the a's, the kids losing their homes, the things my own kids were doing at the time (I failed to mention that eldest D had bulemia/drug problems/identity crisis, S was getting MIPs and charged with theft, burning down a house, youngest D was suicidal/angry/getting kicked out of school, MIPs and all sorts of crap at the same time H was fucking up and work was fucking up.)

I had told my therapist about SI. She has looked and read here. She told me at our last session about a year ago that when she saw me welcoming people into JFO that she would know that I was in a better state than before.

Healing is a lifetime process because you can only prevent so much from happening. We must learn to grieve and work through pain and triggers. We are in a constant flux of healing from large or small incidents. We need to learn to go through the process since we will be needing those skills throughout our lifetimes, really we will.

I really do believe that it is not what happens to us, but what we choose to do as a result that makes or breaks us.

When we suffer from PTSD from trauma that no longer is happening we need to do things for ourselves! We need to focus on the strength gained from sitting through things, staying in a place, letting other people drive etc. Avoidance is the absolute worst thing. Conquering triggers is the absolute best thing. Learning to relax your way through a trigger, through an uncomfortable situation, even for a little while can be very empowering.

"when you start to panic, focus on your breath and it'll save you"

Those words are so true FierceSelfLove!

I told my husband that for the longest time I was afraid to look at my wounds, but they sat festering and further infecting me and those around me. I had to yank off the scab and dig in, disinfect, scrub the crap out of there, or I was just going to prolong the agony.

It really helps to get the right therapist, keep looking, find someone who can help you scrub, not someone who gently touches and springs back when you squeal.

If nothing else, practice the breathing technique and see if you can get your pulse rate down by bringing on a trigger.

Inhale for count of 4
Hold for count of 4
Exhale for count of 4
Hold for count of 4

Two to three normal breaths and then square breathe.


FBS-Me, 60
FWH-Him, 55
2 Sons 25 and 30
2 Daughters 28, 24 And 3 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie

Posts: 4886 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: From where the trees lean east...
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unarmbears, that was an incredible post. Thank you so very much for taking the time to write it. Early on in IC/MC, our guy told me that he thought I was suffering from PTSD because I ruminated about the A, and fantasized about finding out in a different way, keeping it under my hat and being in the position of power when I revealed what I knew to FWH. I still do that to some degree.

Recently, I was talking to my FWH about some reading I had done on sex addiction that said the BS will use things like hypervigilance and ruminating as a way to avoid their own pain. When I said that a huge lump rose in my throat and I could hardly breathe or talk. Last night at a work BBQ, I was talking about this very thing with another BS and the same thing happened to my throat. Just typing this right now is doing the same thing. The problem is I really don't know what my pain 'is'; where it originates. I really need to go back to our IC/MC by myself and talk this out. Maybe he can help me figure it out. I just want to acknowledge what that deep, buried pain is and deal with it. Obviously it's likely to be very painful, but I need to do this in order to move forward in a more complete way. The thing is, I really have very little if any anger towards my FWH now. I look at him and just adore and love him. I understand more than ever why he did what he did, although I know it has scarred us and our marriage forever.

Anyway, it's all very interesting and at the same time, confusing. Yet liberating. I cannot thank the MODS enough for starting this thread. I think they knew I needed it like NOW. I think they are very prescient, yeah?

[This message edited by 1Forward1Back at 7:33 PM, June 21st (Saturday)]


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
usedup
♀ Member
Member # 11701
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bears,
thank you so much for posting this...I continue to be in awe of how far you have come and the insight you've gained..thank you for sharing where you've been and how you got where you are now

Posts: 15831 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: found
burnt_toast
♀ Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do you guys think about FACING your triggers (aka demons) head on? Good idea or bad?

I face my demons because there will be too much good things to loose in my life if I didn't.

BUT
I do so very gently.

Whenever it is a fully conscious decision (listnening to a triggery CD, for instance), I make sure I have a safe space and time to absorb the blow. When it happens by surprise, I do my best, but try to give myself a break as soon as I can get one : a warm bath after a triggery day, journalling, sleeping in...

I really treat myself as gently as I can, so that the imprint gets gradually associated with soothing sensations.

Does that makes sense?

Hugs to all who come here and offer their help.


It is what it is.

Posts: 4681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bears~ just WOW & thank you for sharing this!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The wisdom and compassion evident in these posts is wonderful. I feel safe here...


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
beagle lover
♀ New Member
Member # 19694
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, June 23rd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unarmbears, that was a very eloquent and insightful post. Thank you so much for posting it.

I had a bad weekend ptsd-wise. My car was broken into on Thursday night at a friend's house and my book bag was stolen, which essentially was my life. I feel so violated, betrayed, pissed off, and helpless. Which caused me to lash out. When WH spoke to me about the Out of the Shadows chapter about co-addicts, I didn't react well. I told him I didn't like the term. He thought I was refusing to cope with my contributions/problems in the relationship. I'm not - I just don't like the term.
In addition, he said his head is in chaos and he sometimes wonders if leaving me would be the best for both of us. That's a major trigger for me, so I heard what he said as "I am going to leave you".
So all in all a very bad weekend for me. Still having coping issues today from it and have had pretty much ongoing panic attacks.


Me 33
WH 37 SA/Porn Addict/had ONS with OM and EA with ex co-worker
Married 10 years
No kids
Lots of D-Days along the way, but ONS D-Day 5/28/08
Going to give R another chance. Hoping for honesty this time around

Posts: 50 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Rhode Island
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, June 23rd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Beagle Lover,

I'm sorry you had such a tough weekend. I was thinking this morning on my run that reconciling with an SA is different than reconciling with someone without addiction. I was reflecting on some of the posts I read from people whose spouses are able to be there for their betrayed spouses in a way that someone with addictions doesn't seem able to -- at least not at the start. Just when we need them the most -- in the days/weeks/months following Dday, they're wrestling their own addiction to the ground, which requires enormous energy and focus. So I think for us, it's just going to be different -- a far longer battle. It's when they're able to develop healthy coping behaviours and acknowledge our pain without it triggering their own shame that I think reconciliation will become less of a minefield.
Hang in there....I'm hanging by my fingernails myself!


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EO,
Please, please copy and paste your above post into the Spouses of SA thread!
7


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi 7 yrs,

Sure I'll post it on Spouses of SA. I talked about it with my IC and she said that intimacy is such a struggle for someone with SA, which makes it so much harder for the betrayed spouse to get the support we need. I always "knew" my husband loved me so I didn't need the same level of intimacy that I do now. And even though my husband is able to tell me he loves me, he can only go so far and then he gets fearful and ashamed and guilt-ridden and worries that I don't love him. We're like that Push-Me/Pull-You thing on Dr. Doolittle....


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Facing a possible PTSD situation today. I'm going in town with my son (at his request) to pick up his apartment keys. The realtor is like 3 blocks from where my H spent ALOT of mornings with various prostitutes. Not that HE told me, but I found the addresses by getting one of the "city papers"

I already told my son we're going in, getting the keys, and coming right home. He loves the city, so he wanted to walk around a bit. Now I feel even more angry that my H's extra curriculars have ruined what could have been a nice day for us.

I'm going to try and breathe and concentrate on the task at hand and not "look around" too much. I'm not ready to face down those triggers, I'd rather keep the blinders on.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
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