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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, December 8th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad, you might not need the receipts. Start by phoning the attorneys office and telling them that you have already paid, and that THEY should check their records. Then, if you know when you paid, you can get the bank to send you a copy of the check. This might resolve itself fairly quickly. It's still a major pain, but maybe it won't be quite a big a pain!

(((Tribe)))

LL


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, December 8th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tribe, things had been fairly quiet with my NPD. He has stopped paying all support, and I am in the process of wage garnishment. Trying to get a custody evaluation ordered, as he refuses to consent to it.

Then, tonight the freak calls me at work informing me that I need to come home right now and get our son. They have gotten into a fight, and I need to come get him. He indicates to me that he (the freak) has a bloody nose and a fat lip. So, of course, I head out of work to go and get my kids.

He then calls and says that I don't need to come. He has it under control. I say, "no, I'm on my way." Then he tells me that he doesn't want me interfering. It's "between him and me". WTF? He refused to let me talk to him on the phone. Told me that even if I went to his house, he wouldn't let my son go with me.

So I called the police and they went up to the house to check on my kids. Freak claims that DS13 just went off on him when they were arguing over homework. Right...

The police told me everyone's story supported that version. The kids seemed ok, so they left them with him.

So, I haven't seen my kids or talked to them yet tonight. Debating whether I should call CPS in the morning regardless.

I'm sure the freak was goading him and calling him all sorts of horrible names. DS would not just go off on him provocation.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, December 8th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

woundedby2 I would be inclined to take to your son first and get the whole story.

I am sure the freak deserves a bloody nose and then some. I don't condone violence but this may be a coming of age thing and your son is starting to stand up for himself and the freak can't handle it. I know my ex is intimidated by my kids and can't really deal with them. I am sure it is just a matter of time before mine have issues with their father as well. Some of it is normal.

((((HUGS))))


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied - thanks for that! I hadn't thought of it like that before - Bob or jj are you available for a trip across the Atlantic to be my pretend "boyfriend"?
Thanks for the compliment Lied about being a neat lady..I will accept that graciously rather than my usual trick of "I am so ugly". I am following my counsellor's advice!

Wounded - I think research has shown that when kids reach their teens they challenge the npd parent ( just as they challenge all parents) but the npd parent cannot cope with the questioning of their authority and power. My dd is doing it at nearly 11 years old. My ex said at the weekend " She really is stubborn" and I said to him " You won't break her, like you try to do with people". She is a mini "Itsabattle" - just like I was before I met the freak!
You are always there for them Wounded, you are a great mom!

You know even with the odds stacked against us, we are fabulous parents and people!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, Lied and Itsa. I know I can always count on Tribe to understand this crap.

So DS was being berated and cursed at by NPD dad over a missing homework assignment. He was called assinine and then stupid. NPD dared DS to "go ahead and hit me". So DS did. In the mouth!

Ftard tackled DS to the ground. They had some kind of cussing battle going, and DS was kicking at the freak to keep him away from him. He was tackled again to a bed. NPD held him down and DS got an arm free and gouged one of his eyes with his thumb. Freak pushed him off the bed onto his head.

OW came into the room later and accused DS of lying about what had happened (even though she did not witness it). DS yelled at her ass too.

DS has a small cut on his knuckle from hitting NPD. He has a bruise along his jawline. He has a bruise just above the elbow on one arm. He has tenderness in the ribs where he was tackled, and he has tenderness along the other side of the jaw from when he was pushed off the bed. I took pictures of the marks tonight and will check again in the morning for any new bruises.

Oh, yeah -- I'll give you one guess as to whose fault all of this is. Yup, mine. Cuz I don't put my foot down with DS about his homwork.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 1:43 AM, December 9th (Tuesday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is it about the holidays and NPD's??

Longlost,
I did just that. I sent the attorney an email telling him that I paid it and asking why he would send his FIRST bill all these years after the fact. I also told him to recheck his records as he might find that it is the OTHER half of the $300.00 that was left unpaid. (meaning XNPD's part)

Such a loser.

I did talk to my bank and they said that they keep copies of that type of thing. That was a huge relief.

I just DREADED the thought of going back through those Rubbermaid containers. I'm not kidding....I literally have at least 50. They are full of documents, canceled checks, cell phone bills, receipts, old bills, photos, police reports, divorce papers, protection orders, surveillance videos, emails, faxes.....OMG. Every time I have had to dive into that crap it makes me so angry all over again. I end up walking around the house doing that mumble to myself thing, cursing under my breath for about two weeks.

Ugh. I hate his guts. Can you tell??

Thanks for helping me through this one. You guys are great.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wounded, now that you have your kids back, I would be calling CPS. I think that this is also grounds for the visits to stop. I don't think that I would let the freak around my kids if he is going to beat up on them. When he threatens to take you back to court, let him.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Packed & ready to go itsa!


(Hey auntie LL! Good to see you! I miss you.)


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wounded call CPS. I had to do that a few weeks ago when I found out the ex hit the youngest across the face. They investigated. The kids refused to tell them the whole story but with his track record and the fact that they told the councelor what happened it doesn't exactly matter if the ex refuses to admit it.

((((wounded's children)))))) It will be hard for them to go on visits for a while if they even want to. My youngest has not seen his father since the incident and his father has only asked to see the oldest. My ex figures he is punishing son for acting out by not seeing him. I bet money that it will be the same kind of crap with your DS as well.

I find it horrible that these monsters get to mess up these kids and there is little we can do to stop it until the children either refuse to see them or they are hurt enough to have charges laid on the NPD (which usually means more than a few bruises and a warning).

I 1/2 wonder if the egg nog isn't spiked to effect the crazys this time of year.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God, they are disgusting to their kids. Physical and mental abuse...and there is very little the law can do until the damage is done. Terrible. My ex does not physically touch the kids any more, but he did when he was here. His mental abuse to everyone is just as bad!

You know when I had my disgusting conversation with ow on Sunday I detected how she already has a fear of him. However, he won't show his true colours until they are married.
Sad - I am glad it was easy to deal with regarding the paperwork. I also hate having to step back into the past regarding things like that.

Wounded - how does your son feel about seeing his father again? I must say I would be reluctant to send him back into that environment. Your ex is a grown man for goodness sake(even though we know he is really 3 years old) and he should not be assaulting his teenage son. Poor kid.

jj- how funny!! Cute butt!!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, everyone! I talked to my attorney a bit ago. She also agrees that I need to call CPS. She also wants me to take pictures of the injuries - of course, I had already done that.

So, I'm about to call and report it. We'll see what comes of it.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got off the phone with XH's attorney. He said that XNPDH told him that I had been orded to pay for 1/2 of his attorney bills.

I said, "Mr. Attorney, you wrote up the decree. If that were the case, wouldn't you have written it in there somewhere? I'm not seeing it anywhere. All I see is the $300.00 that I'm sure I paid."

I went on to remind him that he probably filed some sort of a release with the courts saying that I had met my obligations with the decree. I asked him to try and find that or call me back with the exact date we signed so I could call my bank.

He called back. He found the filing with the court that I had paid everything.

Aparently XNPDH hasn't paid him. (big shock) I still get bills for stuff that the deadbead has never paid. Even my mother gets letters from bill collectors. I told Mr. Attorney to hurry up and file for a judgement or he'll be waiting another six years for his money.

Such a loser.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad -- I'm glad that worked out ok for you. Also glad that you didn't have delve into that paperwork hell looking for proof of payment.

I called CPS who will not investigate at this point because the police when they went out there determined that there was no child abuse. WTF? I explained that the officers did not physically examine my child. He has bruises on him. They have advised me to follow up with the police department. This is the most frustrating thing!

I think I will get him into the doctor's as well. Have him checked out. Also the CPS lady suggested that I request an "expedited hearing" in family court.

My head is spinning with all of this.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, December 9th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd call your attorney back and tell her what CPS's said and ask what to do. I'm glad you took the pics.

What a JERK!!


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, December 10th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry you are going through this wounded. But like I said before you are a great mom. Onwards!

Sad - I agree, what a loser! I will also be getting mail for the freak from debt collectors for a few more years.

Do they even know how to spell responsibility????


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, December 10th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sadtoo: what a loser! I wonder how his lawyer can even find a leg to stand on ANY grounds for this man! I'd be ashamed for him to be my client.

woundedby2: I just wanted to give you hugs and just the gentlest of warnings. If these bruises are from the most recent incident, it might not do any good to get the police reinvolved. They've already stated that they don't think your ex was at fault for the incident, and if your ex has bruises, they'll take that into account as well. A physical exam, however, could show some old bruises and patterns of abuse. Good luck with that; my biggest headache about divorce will be turning my children over to Asshole McLoserpants, the most selfish, self-absorbed dickhead on the planet -- and he who pushed me into a wall, which he promptly categorized as an accident.

[This message edited by veritas at 12:15 PM, December 10th (Wednesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, December 10th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

V-- I think you're right about the police. They clearly don't want to deal with this kind of thing. The officer never returned my call. Fine.

I took DS to the doctor this morning. She was appalled and called CPS while DS and I were there. She documented all of the marks on him and the painful areas. She sent us for a bunch of xrays. DS is having pretty bad rib pain and also neck and shoulder pain.

What monsters these people are!!


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, December 10th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Wounded and son)))))

Yes they have no boundaries and feel they are justified in abusing others if they are upset at the person. They will do it to use, other and especially their own children and anyone weaker. Of course the abuse is not their fault even if they provoke others to lash out. They lie etc. like they always do to make sure they look like the victim.

Hopefully CPS can do something and help your son be safe.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, December 10th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wounded were they able to go over the xrays while you were there or do you have to wait? I hope that everything is okay with your son physically. These monsters should have their parental rights taken away.

If mine were to request that I would jump on it in a heartbeat. Hell, I would give up all support from him if we never had to see his face again.

What's worse than the physical abuse is the mental abuse that these freaks put the kids through.

There's a special place in hell for these morons.

My freak calls here tonight. I've stopped talking to him again. I hand the phone to the kids. They talk to him for a whole minute then hand me back the phone and I hang up. He calls right back and leaves a message reminding me about the divorce counseling that isn't until the middle of next month. I guess he's running out of things to call and bitch about. He sounded so pathetic.

He didn't even get the woman's name correct. The woman he mentioned was from the center where his visitation is. She just happens to have the same name as I do which is funny because my name is really rare.

[This message edited by peridot at 8:45 PM, December 10th (Wednesday)]


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, December 11th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Peridot - you will find that they have less to bitch about, as they loose their control over you. So they will make a big deal out of the smallest things. I have had the freak out of the house for two years now and his contol over me is practically non-existent - apart from what he does regarding the kids.
You do have to be careful at this point as if the freaks feel out of control they can turn very nasty.
Wounded - I hope your son is ok. What a nightmare.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
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