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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, October 23rd (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, agree, lied2.
Or maybe rammed down another orofice.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, October 23rd (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry I had to share this.

OMG his wife is now writing his emails. She has almost as bad grammer as he does. Atleast she uses full sentences.

Here is a small excerpt:

Lastly, Lied2, I wish to make apology for somehow this message that you have gotten, that you RAISING THE BOYS ALONE, and that I do not want to be involved with my sons.... so for the record, this is not so and could not be further from the truth! I very much wish to have "active participation" in my children's lives.. which is why I have now provided you with my home phone number and contact information, so that this can be the case.

He is demanding that I send updates to everyone about his move. Yup I'll get right on that after I finish scrubbing the toilet. I am sure it is really high on my priority list since it only took you 6 1/2 months to give us the contact info. Really important stuff.

Oh and the last bit made me giggle and roll my eyes.

Finally, Lied2, Let's just get on with making the children's lives, while they are still kids, as happy and drama free as possible.

Thank you for taking your time in reading my responses.

Drama free. Sure will Sucktastic daddy.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, October 23rd (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wants to make the childrens' lives "drama free"? He should have thought of that a while ago. These people really are nuts.


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 3:37 AM, October 24th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These people are totally deluded.
My freak has irritated me today. The kids have asked for some new bedroom furniture so I said they could ask Daddy as I don't have any spare money. They replied that when they ask him for anything he says "I'm not made of money, like your mother".
I am a single parent who works as a teacher. I don't think that qualifies me as having lots of money!!
He pays me 40 a week for two kids. Enough said, especially as he is now off on his fourth holiday this year, drives a sports car etc etc.
I am phoning the child support agency as soon as I have written this.
It makes me sick. They never, ever accept responsibility for anything. Disgusting. They have the morals of sewer rats. Foul foul people.

Does it ever stop?


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 3:38 AM, October 24th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These people are totally deluded.
My freak has irritated me today. The kids have asked for some new bedroom furniture so I said they could ask Daddy as I don't have any spare money. They replied that when they ask him for anything he says "I'm not made of money, like your mother".
I am a single parent who works as a teacher. I don't think that qualifies me as having lots of money!!
He pays me 40 a week for two kids. Enough said, especially as he is now off on his fourth holiday this year, drives a sports car etc etc.
I am phoning the child support agency as soon as I have written this.
It makes me sick. They never, ever accept responsibility for anything. Disgusting. They have the morals of sewer rats. Foul foul people.

Does it ever stop?


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, October 25th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My N has been writing me these e-mails where I am in his dreams , sending me and the cat cards for Halloween , & I'm getting this sick *feeling* that he's trying to worm his way back "home", again.

NOT!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, October 26th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Its I don't think it does stop. My ex made plans to see the kids in 2 weeks but the kids thought it was today. He has not seen them in over 7 months and keeps telling them that they have to adjust to the idea that their father has a new wife etc. Delusional, useless freak.

I am just so tired and overwelmed and just sad that this is my life and I feel like I have no options. I am trying really hard to hold on and hope something gives but I feel my grip slipping. Dealing with numbnuts just makes it all the more difficult. I am so sick of being attacked about my parenting when I am the only one doing any of it.

Some days I feel like suc a bad mom when I find myself wishing I didn't have kids or was the one to walk away, find someone new, remarry and leave the real work to someone else. I love my kids but so many days I am not sure I even want to be around them because they can be so loud and annoying (mostly from being ADHD etc.)

The councelor asked me the other day if we had good moments as a family and I had to answer honestly that it was really hard to find moments that were good. I also said (and got seriously slammed for it) that right now I don't really like being a parent. (of course later I was told that my kids basically hear this as I hate them and I was never to voice such a thing again by the child protection worker...)

I just don't want to do this all anymore. I really want to run away and never come back.

[This message edited by lied2 at 1:05 PM, October 26th (Sunday)]


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, October 26th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied - I know what you are saying. We have too much on our plate and the experts can say what they like, until they have personally experienced what it it like to bring up two children on their own, with a deliberatly desturctive npd ex-husband in the background, then it is best if they keep their well-meaning advice to themselves. If it is any consolation my parenting is pretty rubbish these days as well.
I am exhausted from the years of battle I have experienced. Bringing up two kids is so hard to do. I fight with my daughter a lot and say things I regret. There is a lot of anger in our little family unit and we take it out on each other. It is certainly not right but that is how it is sometimes.
I would love to escape as well, away from the responsibilites I have been left with, long enough to have a jolly good rest and let someone else take over for a while. The whole burden is on us Lied and sometimes it is a very heavy burden to carry.
Don't beat yourself up over it. It is how it is, not because of anything we have done but the bastard freaks who decided somewhere in the past that we would be punished for ever for not fitting into the little box that we were given. We continue to deal with that fall out and I think it will be like that for some time.
I know how you feel, my friend, because I feel it to.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, October 26th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm feeling that way too.

Raising a teenager by myself who has attitude because he's mad his dad left and takes it out on me a lot.

Taking care of him when he's sick...and that's a lot unfortunately...

I just need a break.


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
discombobulated
♀ Member
Member # 6580
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, October 26th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't post often anymore because my NPD WH STBX SA lurks and disrupts our site with fantasy persona posts.

BUT.... this is so worth posting...

NPD WH SA stbx has peyronie "disease" (scar tissue of the penis due to excessively vigorous sexual activity resulting from injury to the penis - and scar tissue. ( See WeB MD for a more graphic discussion...) Recently he moved one of his whores into our house with my children... but that's a story for another day... (Yes we are unfortunatley STILL married!)

Anyway, the adulterer needs surgery on his penis because it hurts when he get an erection with his whores - poor thing! The scar tissue has turned into a "lump" (No I can't say I've seen it first hand!) but according to him. He came looking for tea and syumpathy last week because the lump must be biopsied. (Can you imagine an adulterer with cancer of the penis?????!!!!)
All together: KARMA BUS!!!!!

This all came to light over him asking a neighbor to watch our son instead of asking me to keep him while NPD WH stbx was in the hospital - but who am I? just the mother...ARRRGGGGHHH!

One day when we were arguing I called him an asshole and he told me he would call the police if I said it again, so I started calling him Mr. (he likes to be called Mr.!) Weennie. Now I'll have to call him Mr. Half Weenie! Mr. Itty Bitty Weenie?

Again, all together: KARMA BUS!!!!!!!!!


BS - age 52- married 27 years, in IC, support groups
WH - age 57 - sex addict/porn addict, NPD
Children 2 boys, 19 & 16
D-day #1 2/2/05, D-day #2: 1/22/06
R 4/21/05, but that was another lie, just a game.
D-day #3 11/06
Divorce final may 09

Posts: 2151 | Registered: Mar 2005 | From: Florida
discombobulated
♀ Member
Member # 6580
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, October 26th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Many of you will not fondly remember him as the fake "Mr. A" here about a year ago. He's probably still here as something or other. We'll know who he is if someone posts and chastises me for being "bitter." I'm not bitter, I'm FREE!!!!!


BS - age 52- married 27 years, in IC, support groups
WH - age 57 - sex addict/porn addict, NPD
Children 2 boys, 19 & 16
D-day #1 2/2/05, D-day #2: 1/22/06
R 4/21/05, but that was another lie, just a game.
D-day #3 11/06
Divorce final may 09

Posts: 2151 | Registered: Mar 2005 | From: Florida
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 3:43 AM, October 27th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Disc - How amusing! It is difficult to feel any sympathy for him!! Especially as he lurked on here pretending to be one of us.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, October 27th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dis that is pretty funny.

What totally gets me is these guys using medical issues as the victim card. A friend of mine has a seriously crazy ex as well. He tends towards the psychopathic as well as NPD because he is so vendictive.. Lately he has been telling his kid that he is dying (again) and that he is on the transplant list for a pancreas. From what I know of him he has diabetes for which he takes pills not the very severe, irratic diabetes for which they would consider a trasnplant for and I highly doubt that he has the kidney failure that usually accompanies and 90% of the time they require the person to need both before they will do that kind of transplant (90+% of the time). Total manipulation of everyone around them.

My ex pulls the same stunts with his seizure disorder and the apparently memory loss and damage that he has from the last grand mal. He plays that vistim card any time he wants to "forget" some information that could get him in trouble or make him look like a jerk. Heck he is using it to get out of spending time with his kids because apparently they are not "adjusted" enough to the situation (his new wifey etc.) and he has to see them less because of it.

What the hell is wrong with them bucking up and being MEN and WOMEN and doing what is required? We all have problems and live sicks alot of the time. That is the way it is.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, October 27th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

discombobulated, pay backs are a bitch! I keep wishing something like that would happen to my STBXH.

We aren't even divorced yet. He has lost his visitation privileges until we go back to court because of his behavior. He was calling the kids almost everyday.Then it went to a few times a week. Then for about two weeks he did not call at all. The this past week he called them twice. We aren't even divorced yet and he is already slowly drifting out of their lives.

It has finally sunk in not to let him get to me when he calls. He normally tries to start a fight whenever we see each other or over the phone. I just ignore him now when he calls the kids. I answer the phone and ask the kids if they want to talk to him. Then hand them the phone and hang up on him when they hand it back to me.

He has sent me text messages while I am at work and I ignore them also. I don't know why I didn't remember a long time ago that he hates being ignored. That was the quickest way to piss him off.

His paycheck is now garnished so I don't need to discuss anything with him except the kids. So I am going NC on him.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, October 27th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you Peridot. I am sure in time it will be weeks between visits and it may just degrade like mine has and is months of NC and then a few visits and then back to NC. It is hell for the kids but quite peaceful for me.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, October 27th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went through the same shit with my own dad so I know what the kids are feeling. I know what you mean about the peace when they aren't calling or coming around.

When we first seperated in March, he called several times a day. It used to get on my nerves. Now it's twice a week if they are lucky. It's sad when your kids get used to not hearing from him.

I wouldn't be surprised that when this divorce is over he stops coming around and calling. Hell, I expect him to quit his job. He's certainly done everything else I said that he would never do. This man used to pratically be dad of the year. Now he couldn't give a rats ass about his kids. Unless it involves doing something fun. I am sure he will be calling about the holidays.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, October 27th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))

Interesting:

------

http://moneyhelps.blogs.money.cnn.com/2008/10/27/my-ex-husband-stole-our-sons-identity/

------

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, October 27th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When we first S my ex saw my son on a pretty regular basis. But he fought with him all the time. He'd take him out for fast food and lecture him about his nutrition and his weight.

He'd call him and say I'd really like to see you but I don't have any money. So my son would take him out for dinner.

Then they'd have a fight and ex would drop him off yelling at him as he drove off. I'd have to calm him down as he came into the house. I'd call the ex on his cell and he'd fight with ME and tell me to deal with it.

Now they don't see each other at all. Ex told my son he was too manipulative the last time he saw him. That was July 2007.

It's insane the things they do to their kids. The boy was 15 at the time. How is he supposed to know how to be a father?

ETA OW has her son every second weekend. He's a year younger than my son. So they parade around like a happy family.

[This message edited by betterdaysahead at 2:51 PM, October 27th (Monday)]


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, boy, Tribe --

Things had been fairly calm for the past couple of weeks, but you know how the NPDs get when things aren't going their way....

He has gotten word that I am requesting a custody evaluation for the kids. His L responded by saying they would only agree to the eval if they could select the evaluator and that I would pay for the entire thing. So, I know he's pissed about that.

Then he took DD to her orthodontist appointment this afternoon, and when he dropped the kids off, he demanded to talk to me. He said he'd been calling me all day, and I won't answer his calls.

So, he's all in an NPD hissy fit, because I told him that I was busy. On the phone. What did he want?

He proceeds to berate me about not taking his calls, and how is he supposed to talk to me about the kids. Then he finally tells me about the ortho appt.

THEN this: "What are we going to do for Halloween?" WE? So he wants to come to my house and go with the kids out trick or treating. So, I agree, but then qualify it by asking if it was just going to be him coming. He indicated that it might not just be him!! WTF??
He is actually thinking that he's gonna bring the Happy Family over here? To my home? I told him no. They aren't welcome here. He gave me this look. I further stated that I have the right to control who comes to my home. He then insisted that the street is public, so they can be here...

I'm thinking no about telling him that he is not welcome here - with or without Skank 'n Son. I'm just so tired of this crap. Maybe I'll just load the kids up in the car and go somewhere else. Let him come here looking for us.

Oh, and he should be getting word in the next few days that his wages are going to be garnished for C/S. Poor him...

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 12:56 AM, October 28th (Tuesday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7636 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, October 28th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wounded I would be tempted to take the kids to a friend's house and have the kids trick or treat with them. You have every right to not be around her and her kids.

Bob that article is scary. I can imagine some of these jokers would do anything to scam someone for their own benefit, even their own kids. Heck so many of them put their own needs ahead of their kids on a daily basis. They think nothing of screwing people over.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
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