Here for the NPD's or the frogs?
I'm sure you'd rather use that crib as firewood than send it over for him to use! What an asshat. Ya, I wonder if the GF knows that he's planning on having more kids???
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
I had such a nice vacation with my kids, and 5 days of peace and quiet with absolutely no contact. It was heaven.
I just want to be left alone. I hate him and what he's done to me and my kids. I hate him.
Sorry. Bad day. Phone call at work. Usual NPD shit. Me near to tears. Him probably laughing. Fucker.
Anyone have any hugs to spare today?
Why does every little thing have to be a battle of epic proportion?
He's all pissy because my L sent his L a letter suggesting that co-parenting classes might be a good idea and requesting that she verify that he has the "adequate" sleeping arrangements for the kids. So he's demanding to know is it me or my L who's so worried about the kids having separate beds? And the parenting classes are just another way for my L to run up the attorney's fees. Yup. That's it.
Then it's all my fault again that the attorneys' fees are mounting. That this thing is never going to end. That all I am trying to do is get every penny that he has, so he'll never be able to have his kids. The reason he doesn't have separate rooms for the kids is that he can't afford it - my fault again. His relationship with the kids - my fault it's not good. I'm supposed to fix it for him.
He's already in arrears on C/S. He refuses to pay me what he was owing from before we had orders from the court - what he was voluntarily giving me to help support the kids. Now he suddenly doesn't feel inclined to make good on that $600 he owes. Fine. Has he paid the C/S arrears from July yet? He says he has made a "payment" - check my bank account. He paid $150 Then I had sent him an email with $105 in medical and sports expenses for the kids. He replied to me with "please provide receipts." I swear I could throttle him! I told him that I'd have my attorney's office forward the receipts to him early next week. Or, he could just put the money into my bank account.
Fucktard's never asked for receipts before - honest to God... He's going to start getting receipts. I'm gonna keep track of every damn dime, and he's going to get the receipts. I'm so mad at him right now. (Can you tell? ).
Oh, and I called my L's office and asked that whatever motion needs to be filed be filed to get the wage assignment done for the C/S. I'm not putting up with this shit any longer.
Now, where's my wine? I need a drink!
How can a N not see that? How can they be so blind? I feel sorry for the subsequent women in the N's life. To start out so soon without your opinion being counted...
Then again... he's not buggin' you anymore. That is definately worth a fruit basket AND a bunch of flowers.
I keep track of everything that I can to make him pay for. He doesn't pay nearly enough support so when I can get some help, I take it.
Keep receipts of anything you can. If it ever comes to someone questioning the expenses you have proof.
These freaks get me so pissed off. Why do they have to go around causing problems? Either get with the program or go away. Mine has basically gone away. Most of the time it is the best thing. I just am struggling because this single parenting thing is so very difficult.
The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
I can tell you what I have learned about the THEORY of dealing with an NPD. Never engage them, have them go through your lawyer. I am at the stage where I am unsure what to do, but I can just hear my NPD blaming me for everything like you describe.
I am sorry you are going through this, it has to be very painful to listen to all the blame and accusations. Try to protect yourself from him as best you can.
stbx npd sa moved a woman/parmor/stupid whore into my house a couple of weeks ago. He told all the neighbors that she was "just visiting" blah blah blah... He told my kids to lie to me about it. My younger son has been very upset, but wouldn't talk about it with me per his orders.
I went over to my marital home one morning to take pictures of all her garbage to prove to the judge that she had moved in and was living in the house I own. (The sheriff's office advised me to move out 11 months ago due to repeated violence and abuse, so I did which created all sorts of additional legal problems in regard to custody and posession of the house.)
Imagine my surprise to find my husband's whore asleep in the bed I bought, in the sheets I chose, in the room I painted. I got some great photos. I framed her up in the camera and said LOUDLY, "GOOD MORNING! I'M MRS. K - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" click, click, click...
She didn't like having her "pitcher" taken, lunged at me, grabbed myy camera and threw it across the room. Then she came after me. It's amazing how strong you can be with some adrenaline flowing. When she grabbed me, I shoved her away forcefully and she went backwards into the kitchen cabinets. My Wise Woman Self told me - time to go.
Of course she called my rat bastard husband and they called the police. I was hauled out of my office in handcuffs and spent the weekend in jail - accused of "burglary" - for entering my own home and repeat violence from a woman I had never laid eyes on before.
Bail was set at $50,000!!! No priors, no arrest record, no speeding tickets! At hearing the judge released me on my own recognisance. But I spent a fascinating 36 hours in the county jail on a false arrest.
At hearing, the same judge threw out the charges - no restraining order, but I had to pay a criminal defense attorney a boatload of money.
My children have been told I'm a monster. I haven't had visitation with my youngest son in 3 weeks - a violation of the court order for visitation. What a mess.
stbx npd sa has repeatedly violated court orders, done a phenomenal job of showcasing the worst possible parenting techniques and here I am with no support, no time with my kids, enormous legal bills and now an arrest history (for a pillar of the Community!)
the moral of the story is this: if you think your spouse is npd - don't waste your time with counseling, reading books, trying to reason, because none of that will help - it will obnly give the npd leverage to manipulate you and further obscure the truth. If you suspect npd - RUN! Run as fast as you can and get safe, get your kids safe - run! And don't look back at the face of evil.
Despite all this trash, there have been some amazing blessings from my church, friends, community and family. Don't hide from people. Ask for help and you'll get it.
Mine is currently living with OW, but officially "renting 2 rooms" at her friends' home. Not living with her -- why would I think that? Well, maybe the fact that the kids have never been to friends' house to stay in the rented rooms? The only times they were at that house were when he was having them help him move his shit there from his studio apartment that he could no longer afford to rent.
Fucktard. Accuses me of immoral behaviors with the kids because dd9 has been sleeping with me in the king sized bed. Nevermind that he and OW are constantly swapping tongues in front of them, and ds13 heard her fucking bed banging half the night when he had the kids at her house (where he doesn't live) for his weekend last time. Yeah, dd9, who has been devastated by this, sleeping in my bed is a real crime alright.
Honestly his own kids are so far down on his priority list that it's pathetic. Yet it's all my fault that they don't want all that much to do with him.
I think his priority list goes something like this:
2. My dick
4. My dick
6. My dick
7. My wallet
8. My image
9. My cumdumpster
10. My cumdumpster's kid
11. My job
12. My kids (or should I put car here? )
13. My car
13. Other responsibilities that I choose to ignore.
Lied - as always you hit the nail on the head. I am finding single parenting so hard at the moment. I feel that because I have to do everything, I never get to do anything of quality with my kids. I don't even know if I enjoy them anymore as all I feel is that it is one chore after another, followed by emotional issues that we have to work through. Hard work.
Saying that, the freak has the kids for four nights next weekend (his annual holiday with them) and I am going to Paris with a friend for shopping and sightseeing. My consellor thinks this really will be the beginning of my new life as I am achieving a long-held ambition by doing this.
My point is, this time last year this would have been an absolute imposibility. A year (even in npd land) has made a difference for me. Just think where we could all be next year.
Thanks for the advice. It's just so infuriating that I can be having a great week, and all it takes is one single contact with him to turn everything on end. He is just pushing my buttons, trying to control and manipulate me. I had a great session with my IC today. I am going back to strict email-only contact with him. I will not let him affect me like this.
I had a much better day today. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.
NO contact is the only way. Communicate through your attorney or a third person. If you must communicate, do it through email so you have a paper trail. Insist on it and don't let them bully you into a verbal conversation. These nut-jobs will do anything to get you to react and or fly into a rage and they will be the first one standing there going, "SEE! I told you she was crazy!!" And they will likely have a video recorder to capture the moment.
I am not at all surprised by discombobulated's situation. (Sad and horrified yes, but not surprised.) This is what an NPD is capable of doing and will think NOTHING of doing this.
Hugs to all.
When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
OC born 2001 (I didn't know)
Remarried 2008 (Happy!)
Don't let him pervoke you at all.
The STBXH was over the other day to see the kids, he has sup visits. At the end, we talked, huge mistake I know. I think that I seen a glimpse of cake eating. He said that he wanted a clause that I can't have men over at the house and he couldn't have women over at his. I have no problem with this. I had thought about adding the same thing even he will have sup visits, just in case one day he doesn't. I have to cover all my bases with his NPD ass.
I guess he forgot about the sup visits and he said that he would make sure she wasn't there. First, he is getting sup visits. Second, even if he weren't, they live together. She has no one here except his family and none of them can even stand her. So where would she go? She is a nut job with pending felony charges against her. Just another reason to have the sup visits. He doesn't even have enough sense to cheat on me with a decent person.
Then he starts in on how he doesn't want to loose the house but he basically doesn't want me to get it. He can't live here then neither should I basically.
I think in his NPD world he is trying to keep me from dating. Not that I want to anyway. I think he thinks that if that clause is in there then I won't date and he can keep me on the back burner so when they break up I am still here waiting and single.
He's also been really freaking chatty here lately. What the hell is up with that?
Anyway, I realized tonight that he is still freaking cake eating. He tells me that we are over, like I need him to tell me that, but he is trying to keep me on the back burner.
What the hell, he is the one who has a woman living with him. He is the one who is moving on with his life already even though we aren't divorced yet.
His favorite line for trying to get me to do what he wants is that my attorney works for me and she should do what I say. Granted she is the one with the legal degree not me. He wanted to send the car back to the bank and me get a new car in my name,the one I have is in his name. He thinks that if the car is in my name that he won't have to make the payment. Too bad he hasn't done that with the house. I would probably take him up on that one,lmao!
Then he wanted all the utilities out of his name.
We have court on Thursday for all the contempt charges he is facing for selling his truck and getting a new car because the whore wanted a new car. Then there is the long list of bills he is court ordered to pay and isn't. I am hoping that his check will get garnished and I won't have to deal with him anymore to get the bills paid. I was the one who took care of all the financial stuff in the marriage and it is killing me that everything is always late now or doesn't get paid at all.
Court should be fun and interesting!
peridot, mine also continues to try to string me along. Also, when they start being "pleasant", they're up to something. Be cautious. About the house, yeah, I can see this. Mine seems to be jealous that I'm planning on staying in the house. That I have the means (parents) to buy him out. I know he would like to see me paying ridiculous rent for a horrid little apartment (just like he had to do). We deserve to be punished like that, you know. For all that we've done to them. We are evil after all.
Oh, and yours sold a car too, huh? Mine did that also. Traded in our truck which had less than a year until it was paid off. He got himself a little black car with a sunroof, and now I only ever see him driving OW's truck. Hmmm....