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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


L2, you so funnay!


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking about confronting him tomorrow about him telling his L to proceed.

I wonder if he has enough decency to squirm like the worm he is, or if he'll just try to feed me more bullshit and make it like it's my fault.
(Like everything else is)


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, NOW I get a TM asking if I'm still up?

So glad he could make time in his busy day for me.
Asswipe


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((HB)))))

You are a wonderful person
and he is an ass.

My kiddos go back to school tomorrow. I guess I should get them into bed. It's almost 10:00!


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 3:26 AM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB - Like all of these freaks he likes to keep you dangling. Don't let him. Push forward with the divorce as quickly as you can, keep communication to a minimum and let go. Of course it is easier said than done but there is no other way.

DD had a terrible time on her short holiday with freak and ow. Both of whom were quite cruel to my dd. They mocked me in her presence,said mean things to her. Ds felt like he was scared to disagree with what was going on, in case they treated him like they were treating her. His words - he is 7!
None of this surprises me, disgusting though it is.
Do I confrount them? Dd does not want me to as she thinks it will make them worse. I want to. In fact I want to get ow around the neck just to make my point clear! Bitch. Do I go for the legal route which means nothing can happen with this? I don't know.
They are not allowed to stay overnight anyway. This was part of my arrangements for kids as I predicted what they would be like but he does have access to them for seven days a year for an annual holiday. Although he already told dd that he does not want to take her next year! She is too diffucult - well I wonder who caused the problems she experiences??

We know what these freaks are capable of. How much do I accept from him in his treatment of the kids? Not that I can do much.


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG, Itsa. Why do they pull this shit with the kids? Honestly. Your poor DD.

I need to call my L today and see what's up with my request to have his wages garnished for the C/S.

Well, it's back to school for us this morning! TTFN.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itsa, your poor kids!
I'm so sorry they had to endure that.
Thank goodness it's over for this yr.
Hopefully he won't want them next year.
I know that sounds awful, but I think it'd be better for them if he didn't take them on vacation next year.

I sent FOTY a TM this am saying I'd been up for awhile.
While I was typing this I get a TM from him that sounded so different from yesterday.

Morning,sorry about last night. Thank you for letting me know about y'alls trip. I hope you have a good time. I do wish you well.

I guess that's his substitute for that phone call.

That sounded so canned and rehearsed. I wonder who he had help him get it right.
Any ideas?

I wonder how long it took them to get it right.
By my estimate, about an hour.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB...your FOTY is getting his TMs ghost-written by mine.

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore....

Don't even contact him to confront him about his telling his L to move forward with the D.

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore.

It's the only thing that truly drives them crazy and our only recourse for maintaining our sanity.

I can't tell you how light and free I feel most days knowing that I am not letting him push my buttons. (OK, he can still push my buttons, but I'm not letting him SEE that he is still pushing my buttons.)

((((itsa))))

wow...I never cease to be amazed and what these nutjobs do to their children. Really. Just. amazed.

I'm so sorry for your dear kids. Be there for them and love them and one day - one day - they will hopefully see the truth.


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe))), I so regret that I could not have children, but I am grateful every day of my life that I did not have children with Bizarro. I am so sorry for what you Moms have to deal with.

LL


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BA, too late.I'm waiting on a reply TM I sent him a minute ago.

Here's what I sent.

What happened yesterday?I waited all day for your call. And now all you can give me are some measly TM's?
Please. I sure don't want to interfere with your busy day.I'm sorry I bothered you yesterday,I was just trying to do the right thing and give you some respect.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB! Do not feed the N!!!!

Listen to me. Right, I just got off the phone with fucktard. I fed the N today too.

He's a complete ass. Completely admits that he is "playing little games" with me, because I play games with him. WTF???

I speak to him as little as possible. I try to maintain N/C. I guess by my games he means enforcing boundaries and sticking to court orders?

I started laughing out loud when he said this: "See there you go again. I'm tired of you threatening me." Then I hung up on his ass.

He is so f'ing high. What I "threatened" him with was that I was going to send my receipts needing reimbursement through my attorney if he continues to refuse to pay.

Asshole.

Let's make a pact, OK? No more feeding the N this week. We can do it.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HB))): 180 NC. No emotions. He was probably in hog heaven that you waited all day for his call. That's exactly what he wanted to accomplish.

N does not stand for Normal. You can't reason with him, or make him get your point of view. All you'll end up achieving if you keep engaging him like this is more aggravation.

(((itsa))) Somebody somewhere needs to start up a movement that will keep our children safe from dickheads without trampling other parent rights. I'm sure it can be done; there's got to be something better that isn't unconstitutional.

(((wb2))) You go, girl! You're getting better and better every time. Try to keep from snickering, though I'm sure it's difficult when you're talking to a moron.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys - you are all so kind. DD is ok when she is home with me. I told her a few things to help her deal with the freak. Her half-sisters (he was married before, so many of them are!!) said to her that daddy is not very good at relationships or understanding feelings. If she hears it from them as well I am sure it will help.

I feel down today (it happens less frequently now, thank goodness) but it is sooooooooooooo hard getting over this and I just wish I had someone special to be with. There I said it!! Itsa wants to fall in love and have a relationship and be happy!!! I am nowhere close, I see that, but I long for a person to share my life with. Someone normal. I made such a shit decision years ago, how long do I have to regret it for? I am trying really hard to work through my issues and I know I am not ready but I hope to meet someone special one day. And not when I am 100!! Sad day today folks. You know the sort of day.


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, V!

I'm trying, but it's sure a battle.

((((itsa))))
I hear ya. Someone special will come along. You so deserve happiness!


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, August 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((itsa))) You're practically in the baby mode when it comes to dating. If you're like most of us, you were already pretty optimistic to start off with. Add to that all the years you spent living out hell on earth and it really, REALLY sets you back. Just give it time.

I have yet another "birthday gift." The company that my NPD works for considers itself to be a family company , despite the fact that they continue to employ people like The Troll and The Giant, who spend their work time on adult/dating websites. Every time I have gone to the office I could walk by several offices with nobody in them, and there is always a huge amount of people sitting at the smoking table, having a big old party.

Now the boss, having worked in one particular department for a few weeks now, has decided to issue mandatory break times. Can I tell you how upset my NPD is? He can no longer sneak off to talk with these people and get in his narcissistic supply. Po, po, ho...


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
smallmouse
♀ Member
Member # 19649
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, August 30th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think this message is old enough.

sm

[This message edited by smallmouse at 12:30 AM, December 18th (Sunday)]


pancakes!

Posts: 1446 | Registered: May 2008
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, August 30th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((smallmouse))))

How interesting...

I remembered telling you about NPD and am glad you are here, but I hope it turns out that you don't need to be.

Did you read the first few pages of the very beginnings of this thread?

You said that you think he does sound like NPD, but in terms of his failures. I've not heard of that, but I'm sure someone will come along and give you their thoughts about it.


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
smallmouse
♀ Member
Member # 19649
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, August 30th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think this is an old enough message.

sm

[This message edited by smallmouse at 12:29 AM, December 18th (Sunday)]


pancakes!

Posts: 1446 | Registered: May 2008
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, August 31st (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

smallmouse...

My NPD also was a very different person when we were dating and could not sustain the "charming" once he had me hooked. I, of course, thought that it was my fault that he was in a bad mood, or distant, and that I needed to do something better, that I needed to change to 'get back' the man I married.

I was so wrong....it was just the 'real' man coming out. He could no longer sustain the 'charmer' and nothing I did or didn't do was going to bring him back. I realized this about 2 years into our marriage and in fact almost filed for divorce about a year before I discovered his affair (which started after my first foray into thinking about D) Although I wonder now if there were other affairs, other women before I discovered the one that was the final straw....I'll never know for sure...

As for how they view themselves, I'm not sure I can answer that for you. Have you read anything by Sam Vaknin? You can google him and there will be a lot of information. He is a professed NPD, but has written a ton of material about it that might be helpful in discovering how the NPD views themselves and whether or not they are conscious of what they are doing.

Keep reading and hang in there....


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, August 31st (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smallmouse,

Yes, I have always thought your freak is very NPD-like. Did you go back and read the first NPD thread? There is a lot of really good info there.

Someone told me that the NPDs need to be the "best" at whatever it is that they need to be the best at. Maybe yours needs to the best at being the worst. He probably also knows that he can garner himself some N supply by playing the victim. "Woe is me" sort of thing.

Hard to say. The NPDs do wacky shit (to say the least )

The Ns have no empathy. They can't relate to the emotions of others.

Keep reading up on the NPDs; it's helpful to know what happened to us. To know that you have been a victim. That you aren't the crazy one.

Keep posting here too. There is much collective wisdom here. Another bonus: you cannot tell us anything in regards to your N's behaviors that would truly shock us. Seriously. Sadly. The truth.

Stay strong and stay as much NC as possible. For your own sanity.
((((smallmouse))))
((((Tribe))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
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