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User Topic: Journey from abandonment to healing by Susan Anderson
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Member # 7533
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, November 30th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, Scout!

I am so glad you finally got to read this book! Good luck with your healing journey!

If you don't find peace with yourself, you cannot find anywhere else.
Appreciate and cherish what I have.

Posts: 8680 | Registered: Jul 2005 | From: midwest
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Member # 26025
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, January 6th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

got my hands on a copy

giving it a go

better late than never


Posts: 465 | Registered: Oct 2009
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Member # 30289
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, January 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm reading it now. It looks like I dipped it in blood as I tend to make notations in the margins with red pen at parts that "speak"' to me. Fitting color. I feel like my life is bleeding all over the pages.

SHE/ME: 40's
WSO: 40's
OW: x-BF, 30's
Met 11/06. Moved in 1/08. Engaged 8/09. EA 11/09. PA began ??. My Mom died 12/09. DD 2/8/10. WSO is with x-BF now. My Dad died 12/10.

Posts: 192 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: wish I knew
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Member # 17686
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, March 16th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to let you all know that she will be doing another workshop and there is plenty of time to sign up if you desire as it is not until July.

I have not been to Britenbush, but think that this will be my first time there if I can follow through and go.


We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF

Posts: 3425 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: how far the east is from the west
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Member # 24550
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, March 25th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My copy arrived today. I had a big big cry just a few pages in.

I have known for a long time, pre-A, that I have abandonment issues, and it is something I am talking about in IC. Read the first chapter and it really resonated. I'm leaving it there for now - usually if I get a "self-help" book, I devour it in one sitting and it makes very little difference to my life. This seems different.

I am wondering about the Workbook, working through two of them together, I don't know if anyone has done this.

I am beginning to think WS has abandonment issues too; but that is as far as that train of thought is going. I have given up reading any kind of relationship books or infidelity recovery books and have finished MC unless WS accepts responsibility for his actions, acknowledges the depth of pain his behaviour has caused me, shows remorse, apologies, goes for IC etc etc, which could be never. So whatever happens, I really want to recovery and thrive, this book seems like a great companion on that journey.

Me: BS 57 Him: WS 57 Child: DD 20
Multiple DDays/TT 28 April 2008 onwards. OW1 -PA 5 months, EA 2 years. OW 2 a prostate he paid to touch him PA. Then there was inappropriate friendship/flirtation with OW3. Current EA with OW 4 since 2010 whic

Posts: 297 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: London, England, UK
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Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, March 30th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just ordered this one. Can't wait to get into it. When I read some excerpts it was like reliving my life and it all made so much sense now.

I know why I 'LOST IT' on D-Day to the extent I did.

Faithful Wife of 24+ yrs: Me
WS: Him

Status: Struggling Everday to

what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another-Anatole France

Posts: 2181 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: North Carolina
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Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, April 2nd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just bought this one... looking forward to reading it.

Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2058 | Registered: Feb 2010
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Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, April 2nd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trying to lay my hands on it too.

DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!

Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
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Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, April 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been reading the book for about 3 weeks as well as Living in the now. They seem to be good companion books.

I have been having problems with the Big and little me. It seems like little just makes things up and we don't seem to be able to get to core issues from my childhood.

Is it possible that I don't have issues from my chiildhood but have been so deeply scared by my first husband leaving after 20 years with "I'm not happy" and then the second one leaving after 25 years with "We have nothing in common... I'm not happy".
Not a confidence builder

Could I be going back too far and there isnt an issue in childhood?

I rather suspect like all the worst things in life, making sense of it will not happen.

25 year relationship D day 1/28/11
The we door is closed but the ME doors are opening

Posts: 471 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: a better place in Michiagn
Helen of Troy
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Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, May 5th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a love hate with this book. Loved the descriptions of what happens to a mind from shattering to lifting. Loved reading that my reactions weren't crazy, that they were normal given the situation.
Hated inner child and big me and little me stuff.

Posts: 4604 | Registered: Dec 2009
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Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, May 5th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't even realize that I had abandonment issues until my husband abandon me. It almost killed me. I was so frighten I didn't know what to do.

It's been three years and when I look back at my childhood I realize why I feel this as an adult.

I was the last child, and my parents where tired of having children so they just left me to on my own while they went on vacations. I was suppose to go to school, but of course I didn't.

Anyway, maybe I should give this book a try.

In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
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Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, July 29th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK, I DID follow through and am going today for the workshop with the Author of this book.

Please, send me any mojo, good thoughts, energy, prayers, whatever you can spare would be greatly appreciated. I have been searching for so long and hope I get something out of this, not expecting the moon, but hoping for a little something.

Will update when I get back if anyone is interested.


We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF

Posts: 3425 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: how far the east is from the west
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Member # 9344
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, November 20th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

Posts: 7603 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Poolside
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Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, November 20th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Hope24

Posts: 662 | Registered: Aug 2011
Jayne Doe
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Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, November 20th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow - thanks for posting this... going to definitely order this book.

Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.

Posts: 1454 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Suburbia, Arizona
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Member # 16725
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, February 12th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you found "Journey From Abandonment to Healing" helpful, you'll get a lot out of "Journey From Heartbreak to Connection" and it's available for free online!

It's a workbook that I've been curious about since I read "Journey From Abandonment..." but it's out of print and $100+ on Amazon. All you have to do is register at the above site (it's free) and download the workbook as PDFs. I'm in my first serious relationship since D and hit a wall a few weeks ago with some abandonment stuff. I've printing out the PDFs and am writing in the workbook and I'm almost finished. I feel like this could be a turning point in my healing.

“There is a limit to the amount of misery and disarray you will put up with, for love, just as there is a limit to the amount of mess you can stand around a house. You can’t know the limit beforehand, but you will know when you’ve reached it."

Posts: 927 | Registered: Oct 2007
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