Maybe I should start calling him Mr.Hoover.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
I can say that I have now moved, albeit one of the quickest moves I have ever done. Bought a car and packed it with all that I had. Told my landlord what was going on and bless her heart she is going to box up my stuff and will store it in her garage and will Greyhound it to me collect so I can still have the rest of my stuff.
XH had done well with not contacting me this week up until the DAY I was leaving, he was calling as an "unknown ID" on my phone and I wasn't answering it, then on the day that I was driving, late at night, I didn't have cell service, suddenly when I did, I was inundated with cell phone messages and wouldn't you know it, they were from him. One I kept to disclose to the police, and it was him "begging me not to have him arrested for calling me, but that he was worried about his sister, and wanted to talk to me, that it didn't matter what time I called him, please all him and thank you".
So when I arrive at my new home, I discuss this with my friends, and my g/f back from where I came from. She did some digging for me on that end and we found out that his sister is just fine, no worries. So he was trying to play me, and as hard as it was not to phone him, I didn't give in.
I am noticing now that I do well, so long as I don't see a missed message, text message or voice message. As soon as I do, I have a break down, and I had a bad one yesterday. My male friend sat with me and I just bawled and bawled at all the emotions that I have been feeling, the frustration, the wondering of why is he calling me, he knows the rules and yet he breaks them!!!
I called the police yesterday and spoke to the officer on duty and he said that they would be able to record the vm thru the phone which was no problem, and we did talk about the various Unknown ID's and the fact that they were more than likely XH. He said that we could do up another report, but he wasn't so sure that it would make that much of a difference given that he already has so many breaches against him to begin with. But regardless he was going to email the Constable who has been handling my case (and she is a ball breaker let me tell you! ) and update her of my new address and the latest episode of bullshit he has been up to.
I am in the process of finding new therapy, etc. since I couldn't bring my other therapist with me, and damit I wish I sure could.
Here is a copy of what I forwarded to the police...
'*StungAgain* can you please get in touch with me I have your stuff I got a call from a woman unknown number and didn't know the voice she said you left and left everything behind and thought I might have stuff there if not it was going to be all given away
I can have it to you by the weekend if that works for you it won't cost you anything hope you know that if you could let me know by Wed - Thur or sooner please
I had to take the dog (Destiny) to the vet the other day and I can also put some money on your phone if you want for I still care for you and believe what you told me about everything I'm not but am a little confused about it all please let me know soon I do luv you "
For the record I called the vet and inquired as to whether Destiny had been in, and my vet said according to the file, she hadn't been in in quite a while . I did contact the police and forwarded this new bit of information to them, and they were going to confer and let me know if they were going to arrest him (again) for breaching the conditions of him being out on bail.
I pray that the dogs really are ok, I have the other two plus my cats, but I would feel absolutely horrible if he did something to them, as a means of getting to me.
Still working on getting a new therapist, tried a few numbers today no luck. My friend called his family doctor to see if she was taking new patients the receptionist said she wasn't but he was told to call back and speak to the doctor directly.
I did go to our Income Support Office today and the worker told me that because I was on a disability due to my injuries suffered from my car accidents, and I left a domestically abusive situation, they aren't going to force me to look for work. I have the fastest appointment time they could get me which is July 3 at 8:30am. Now considering the average wait time is 3 weeks for an appointment just to be seen, I thought that this was great of her to do for me.
I must admit tho it was VERY hard to go to her and tell her my story, I feel such humility and embarassment over all of this.
Somebody tell me when this starts to get easier because so far it has been like living hell. I am learning tho that if I have no contact from him, I do ok, but the minute there is contact, I fall apart and break down.
We have court on Wednesday. This should be fun. I have been threatened that his little whore will be there so my mom and best friend are going lol. My attorney has already said she will have the judge kick her out of the court room. I will be so glad when this crap is over.
I also wish we didn't have to deal with the freaks anymore either, I guess in one way my blessing is that we don't have children, yet somehow that doesn't make it any easier.
Mine apparently knows where I am at. I have tried to get ahold of my former landlord but to no avail, she would be the only one to say where I have moved to, but I swear she had better not given him the address!
He wrote me again on hotmail, and I forwarded same to the police, although I wonder if it will be doing any good, as I take it that he hasn't been arrested for breaching the conditions, I just don't think anyone hears me anymore!
He thinks I hate him and I don't want anything to do with him. He says he wants to know where to send my stuff but that there is too much to send by bus and if I could meet him somewhere.
Suddenly I feel very scared!
I think due to the fact that you don't have children and you really don't *have* to speak to him, it would be much easier for you if you changed your cell phone number and your email address.
I know this is a very difficult step to take, as I had to do this too. And I also know that in some weird way you may also feel somewhat more in control knowing what he's doing and what his next move might be when he is able to call you or email you. But, I can also tell you that that this type of thing just continues to poison your mind with his sickness.
Please at least thing about getting a new number and a new cell phone number. You will begin to heal much faster once you begin real no-contact. PLUS, you will be showing the police how serious you are about getting away from him.
When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
OC born 2001 (I didn't know)
Remarried 2008 (Happy!)
If you agree to meet him somewhere, please make sure it is at a public place (maybe a Police Station parking lot?) during daylight hours and that you bring some friends with you. Or, just send your friends.
I'm sorry you're feeling scared. I hope things will settle down for you soon.
As for my former landlord, I have left her a message to call me ASAP, and haven't heard a thing. I have absolutely no idea, why she would even give him the info as to my whereabouts when she knows WHY I had to leave the way I did.....
Update on the police situation:
I have been told that if he attends court tomorrow (and the chances are that he will) they will have the hearing for the original charge of sexual assault heard. After that, an officer will have him arrested for breaching the conditions of contacting me. Once that has been done, there is a good chance that he could be remanded into custody for up to 2 weeks until his hearing on the changes that are against him (I think there are about 60+ breaching charges against him).
I know I shouldn't feel anything but happiness and relief, but all I feel is utter saddness for a man who won't see that he has to take responsibility for his actions and learn from them. I think he has my things as an excuse to contact me.
Stay strong and GOOD LUCK in court. We'll all be there!!
I have been incontact with Victims Services out here where I live, just waiting for some information that the Order of Protection I have in place can be extended to where I live now, no one seems to know for sure, so the police are the only ones who can tell me.
In the meantime I booked myself a hair appointment, cut and color and I am taking my dogs in for their own grooming Baby steps right?
Yes, it starts with baby steps!!
Then (not to scare you) but when his seemingly nice voicemails, etc didn't work, he started threatening. I had changed my numbers by then, but he got them. He also ended up in jail.
I'm just trying to point out that just because he "says" something, doesn't make it so. Best thing to do is just forward any communication with him on to the police and let them handle it.
You're doing GREAT!!
Stung - (tribe) - I'm winning the damn lottery soon, and taking you ALL to the beach for a vacation.
(BoB & Ron are cookin', though )
Bring on the Daddie food!