Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N.P.D. Thread part VI
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((all)))

Just thought I would remind you all that it's not about you; it's never about you.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to just share this will you all. It is a serious WOOHOO for me.

Yesterday the faker turned up for faker's day to see the kids. The new wifey was in the car and the dog was wanting to go out ans say hi to him because she knows heis voice. I put her on the lease and let the dog go say hi to him and then to her.

The who exchange had me calm and I didn't react to seeing them together at all. It was great to not react because I really thought I would.

My oldest was not there and so his father went to "visit" him at the library with her as well. She had to be right there as well. The oldest was able to confirm the phone number is not being given to me because she made him promise to not give it to me. That conforms to me that she must be afraid of me or something. Perhaps she is afraid that he will one day try and come back or something. Pathetic creature.

When the little saw the wifey he told her in a loud voice "I will never call you 'mommy' even if you are married to my dad". Poor lad. This is so hard for him.

I really think we are all moving towards healing. It is nice to feel nothing when dealing with him. I still feel pangs of anger for his ongoing refusal to be a father to my boys but I see his as a broken man who has married a broken woman. They are in for alot of trouble in their life with their actions. God help them because they need all the help they can get.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Happy  Posted: 4:50 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wahoo! That is SOOO good, lied2! I wonder sometimes if the bitterness will ever leave; it feels like it's shellacked on me, and it gets tougher with every exposure to him. Glad to see that you're breaking free of it! I wonder what WonderBride is afraid of -- what stories she has been told?


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
downfall
♀ Member
Member # 7430
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello Tribe,

Today is 3 years. I feel next year I will not be posting about the anniversary.

Life is good. No contact is strong and just part of life now.

The kids are well. We handle each little "nag" as it appears and discuss how to handle difficult people in our lives. They have learned to treat this the same as any situation where your stuck with someone you may not "like" or get along with well.

The "nags" are still an every day part of life, but more like the arrival of the gas bill than having the cops at your door.

I trust my gut more every day. I've learned to believe in myself. Better yet, I've learned to let go a lot. Control is over-rated.

I spend time with myself daily - reading, meditating, and just being. cd104 hooked me on this website a long time ago. If you haven't been there, it is worth reading. http://greatday.com/

Music is still a huge part of down time. You have to download this one to hear the happiness in it!

Rachel Ferguson - Stronger Than You Think I Am lyrics

I can feel my heart beat through my chest
And I tell myself itís for the best
As I pack my things into my car
Donít know where Iím going but I know itís far

Because honey, Iíve had enough of you
And everything youíve put me through
Thereís nothing you can say or do
Itís time we both found someone new

Now nothing can hold me back again
My life on the right track
I know that Iíve got
To leave here

So hereís to you
And hereís to me
Living our lives separately
Itís a great big world
And Iím a single girl
So Iím glad Iím leaving
I wonít shed a single tear
Wishing that I had you here
I donít need a man to hold my hand
Iím stronger than you think I am

Now everything will go my way
Iím looking for a better day
Where I can hold my head up high
And give my heart to another guy

Now nothing can hold me back again
My life on the right track
I know that Iíve got
To leave here

So hereís to you
And hereís to me
Living our lives separately
Itís a great big world
And Iím a single girl
So Iím glad Iím leaving
I wonít shed a single tear
Wishing that I had you here
I donít need a man to hold my hand
Iím stronger than you think I am

Oh, Iím letting you go
Iím letting go
Iím letting go
Iím starting a new life without you
Starting a new life without you
I know itís better this way
So I drive away

So hereís to you
And hereís to me
Living our lives separately
Itís a great big world
And Iím a single girl
So Iím glad Iím leaving
I wonít shed a single tear
Wishing that I had you here
I donít need a man to hold my hand
Iím stronger than you think I am

Be well friends.

Many positive thoughts.

downy

[This message edited by downfall at 7:53 PM, June 16th (Monday)]


Dday June 16 2005: Separated 2/06 Divorced 3/09

Ah, but she can't take you any way
You don't already know how to go ~ Eagles


Posts: 3048 | Registered: Jun 2005
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

been wondering about you downfall.

I believe you're speaking true - and I am glad for you. Thank you for helping and being encouraging to me. I'll remember the small kindnesses in words you typed my way -
as long as memory may last,
jj
huge hugs


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you, Lied2. Great progress!!

I had something interesting happen to me. I got a letter in the mail address to my XNPDH. I opened it and it was from a bill collector trying to collect 17,300.00 from one of his credit cards!! I called the telephone number and told the people that he didn't live here and that we were divorced, blah, blah, blah. He asked if I had any current information on XNPDH and of course I was happy to give the information to the nice man. When I gave him the address, he said that he had gotten letters BACK from that address saying that this "person doesn't live at this address." He also asked me about a couple other telephone numbers in our area (he has an unusual last name) and I told him that one was his brother and the other was his parents. The man told me when he called either of the numbers, the people that answered said they didn't know him. I gave him all the numbers that I had for XNPDH and the telephone numbers of OW#2/fiance'/wife. I also told him where he works, the telephone number and the address. (I know, I'm terrible) But after all the grief that bastard has put me through, I couldn't help but feel quite pleased with myself.

The nice man called me back today and told me that he called the OW#2/fiance/wife's number and told me that he first confirmed with her that it was her, then he told her that he was looking for XNPDH.

Her response, "I've never heard of him."

WHAT????? Who are these people???

The other funny thing was my mother got the exact same letter addressed to XNPDH at my mother's address. He must have used my parent's address at some time. Can you believe this??

What a loser. I'm glad that some of this is finally catching up with him. It's about time.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 10:07 AM, June 17th (Tuesday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bravo, sadtoo!

They are *freaks*!!!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanda23 has a tag that reads like this:

Karma's a Bitch and she slaps hard! (stolen from Broken 721... God Bless Broken, who is infinitely wise!)

------

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG Sad - that is exactly the same as my freak - so much so I almost fell off my chair reading it! My freak put bills in my dad's name, his own parents' names as well as my name. He always puts not known at this address on bills etc etc. This is so similar it has to be the same man!!!

As soon as it is November 2009 I will also be able to give creditors his new address as it won't have any adverse effect on me as we will have been divorced for two years by then. Apparantly I am still at risk from his creditors until then regarding the house sale. When that is no longer a risk I will also let the very nice people know where he is!!


Down and Lied - I am so pleased to hear your progression. Good for you!

Bob - how you doing? You're a bit quiet recently?


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's so BIZARRE!!

All through our divorce he kept telling how I never pay MY bills. Huh?? His reason for not settling was because he said that I would never pay him his settlement. I had that check made out so fast it would make your head spin.

I remember early in our marriage, he had alot of credit card debt. We refinanced my house and paid off his cards. Then, he went and bought a new pick-up and guess what? They turned him down because he had too much credit card debt. Huh??? I thought we just paid that off!! Oh no, he'd racked them right back up. So stupid me cashed out more money and paid them off again. Buy the time we divorced I know he had at least $40K in credit card debt. That is the debt that I knew about. None of these cards had my name on them, so I couldnt' be held responsible, thank God.

Apparently he's been dodging the creditors ever since I threw him out. AND, he's got OW#2/fiance'/wife playing goalie.

Unbelievable.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 10:03 AM, June 17th (Tuesday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I swear, these NPD's are all cut from the same cloth!!


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:26 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, add mine to the fabric list, too!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied and Sad --

Good for both of you!

Stung-- I hope you're doing better today.

Bob and jj -- you have both been awfully quiet lately - everything ok?

Downfall -- what a great song. Thanks for sharing the lyrics and your update with us.

((((Tribe))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7636 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
OutFromUnder
♀ Member
Member # 19061
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Immediately after my ex and I separated and he moved out, he got himself involved in a lawsuit. He had been wanting to just drop a client, and I kept telling him he needed to give a 6-month notice and not leave this company in the lurch and be very helpful in their attempts to get transitioned to another contractor.

As soon as he left me, he dropped them like a rock and then offered to sell them the work he had done that belonged to them. He was very arrogant about it all. I got to see the letter that came back from their attorneys. He had compared himself to Microsoft and Oracle. You could see they were enraged and they sued. I had a paper server banging on my door late one Sun night. My first reaction was to be protective and then suddenly.......duh! I gave them all the info I had. Of course, it could have boomeranged on me since we were still married.

What was rich about it all is that he always thought lawsuits were get-rich-quick schemes, and I would argue and argue the logic of that with him. I managed that impulse of his for years. So, guess how it all ended? He had to give in and settle because it was costing him way more than it was worth. (Something I had tried to tell him.) And he told me his attorney told him HE was the right one and would win, but he just didn't want to put the time and expense into winning--that's all it was. And I'm quite certain he didn't tell his attorney the truth either so if they'd gotten further into it, surprise, surprise. That's IF they didn't advise him to settle in the first place. He is, after all, an NPD liar.

While this was going on, I'm thinking oh my gosh I'm going to lose money because I'm his wife, and I'm trying to get him to settle up with them and get our divorce finalized. I asked him for some paperwork and his response was "I'm doing the best I can, I'm doing the best I can" like he was the victim and I was the wicked witch persecuting him while he's being victimized by this company.

Well, he certainly showed me how right he was, didn't he? Just wish I knew how much he had to fork over in legal fees.


Posts: 79 | Registered: Apr 2008
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Out~ thanks for sharing!
(Betcha the legal fees were considerable! )

jj~ urgent PM for you!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
OutFromUnder
♀ Member
Member # 19061
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just have this bad feeling my brother is getting ready to marry an NPD. But maybe I'm just seeing them everywhere?

She seems phony to me. She was day trading and quit--no job. So now she wants to get married. Once he started dating her, we rarely saw him anymore. She seems insensitve to tragedies and says the most ridiculous things when trying to be supportive like "I understand the pain over the death of your sister because my sister has the same name." Huh???????? And after coming back from funeral services she offered me allergy meds because my eyes were teary.

She seems into her looks. She seems controlling of him to me. They constantly hold hands on walks, under the table in restaurants and the few times they have been around the family which is just recently. She seems to like to put on a show that way. They've been together for almost 5 years and they do this. They are both middle aged but he's 6 yrs younger.

She also talks on the phone in front of us instead of going into another room like she thinks it's impressive. She and my NPD mother tried to outcompete each other over exotic candy of all things. They want to move away as soon as they can. I'm afraid he'll be very isolated.

I don't know if I'm hypersensitive because of the ex NPD. It is very hard to be "happy" about this.


Posts: 79 | Registered: Apr 2008
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Out she doesn't exactly sound emotionally healthy.

About the only thing you can really do it to say something to him but it could backfire on you if he is willing to put up with it.

I think it is wise to be "sensitive" to disorders like NPD and BPD. There are likely alot more of these people around than we realize.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
scared&stronger
♀ Member
Member # 15942
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finally got the book Malignant Self Love from the library. All I can say is Lord the first few pages should have (f?)wh name at the beginning of each sentence.

My son read a few pages and said, this is dad.


WS 45
BS 43

Met when we were 17 and 15. Together since 1983, married since 1985. Two kids, B21, G15.

d-day 4-3-07

Life has a way of making us get our panties in a wad.....I refuse to wear panties ever again.


Posts: 3951 | Registered: Aug 2007
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NPD FOTY strikes again!
After all the hell he's put me through he sent me a TM earlier that says he misses me.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crumbs from the crumb, hb.

Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.