Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: womanoflight (43210)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs -IX
unabletocope
♀ Member
Member # 11730
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to jump on and tell NAS I'm thinking of her and holding her in my thoughts today.

I'll be back later to read, but rightn now I'm off to get a couples pedi and mani with WH (my gift to him).

Love you all!


me-LTA BW


Posts: 2598 | Registered: Aug 2006
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG this torte smells SOOOO GOOD. I have to get out of this house....


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The pendant is lovely, BT. Thank you.

Will miss you guys today.

(((((((((((((nas))))))))))))

I'll be spending today with you (in my mind).


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love the pendant BT!!! It's perfect!

I won't be able to join you guys this afternoon because I'll be on the massage table. I'll be thinking of all of you though and will be here in Spirit.

((((((Numb))))) Head back, chin up, boobs out baby!!!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all you guys for getting into the spirit.

Our lodge looks and smells wonderful!

To those of you who are struggling today, hold onto a thought/memory that is precious to get you through today.

Weepy, conscious marriage? I am searching out my conscious me.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
up2me
♀ Member
Member # 10681
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

in the spirit of the day...
happy valen-tiMe's day
i love it when kids say that!!

Posts: 690 | Registered: May 2006 | From: ny
hurtbuthappy
♀ Member
Member # 14539
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will be working during the V-day forum. Sorry to miss it, but looking forward to reading about it.

I am trying to see this as another day I need to reclaim for me. Volunteered to work just to keep busy and fill up the time. Best thing for me really.

Thinking of all of you on this day. Sounds like some of you have fun, relaxing things planned. Enjoy!!


M-25 years
2 kids

Posts: 131 | Registered: May 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT - loved the pendant - I think we should all try to purchase one and wear them at our SI get-togethers. I'm going to be on the lookout for this - I think it is just beautiful and I love the symbolism.

Today my cousin sent me a beautiful Irish Blessing and I couldn't help but think how perfectly it suits all of us. I think I will frame it and place it on our table along with the flowers, torte (yum) and other goodies for our feast.

My wish for you is:
That you might be brave in times of trial
When others lay crosses upon your shoulders
When mountains must be climbed and chasms are to be crossed
When hope scarce can shine through.

That every gift God gave you might grow along with you
And let you give the gift of joy to all who care for you.

That you may always have a friend who is worth that name
Whom you can trust and who helps you in times of sadness
Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side.

One more wish I have for you
That in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close to you
This is my wish for you and for all who care for you
This is my hope for you now and forever.

Hugs to our beautiful tribe!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is a beautiful blessing FNF, thanks.

Let's see, we've got flowers, chocolates, a torte, strawberries, a fire, a crystal butterfly, servants, symbols, sage, blessings and champagne is on the way. Sounds like we're in business.

See you all in a few hours.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been on a downer for a few days now and my H has been home today. We have friends coming over for the w/end and were doing a big cook-in Indian. (fyi, Tandoori chicken, lamb pasanda, jhinga prawns, baby aubergine & bean curry, carrot & squash, chilli-yogurt mushrooms, raita, fragrant rice, poppadums, naans and chutneys. I did the shopping today and start the cooking tomorrow!) The couple coming over went to school & uni with FWH. He is also a FWH who I texted after meeting OW who said she had spoken to him on FWHs phone. I spoke to his BS a few weeks ago and told her all, her FWH hadnt told her that much and she was soooo shocked. This is the first meet up since. Gulp! I have another Reiki w/end, so FWH will do the rest of the prep and cooking which means most of it!!

So, catching up now.
ZANNY.

It's interesting because it's the same pattern they have in avoiding ending the affair. They just bury their heads in the sand and hope for the best...that it won't be discovered, that the OW will just get fed up and leave them alone, it's just avoiding the emotional turbulence
.
Oh, Yes!! And ....
I am not sure I can ever look to the future for assurances in anything, and I am not sure I want to live like that again. What I had before all of this was a wonderful innocence, and I missed that for so long. Now, I know it's gone. I don't expect it back, but I don't want it either
.

Well, its a bit like looking back on your childhood. The small world that was yours and there were those around who looked after and protected you. Now weve found how heartbreakingly hard this life can be.

So glad some of the tribe could meet up. We find that were not the ones lacking, in fact we seem to be the strong ones who were holding it all together while our WSs went running away into fantasyland.

FNF. I wanted to do your whole I feel like my H's LTA has forever stained my M, my life, my idealism you posted the other day. So, so true. And very sad that they could do this. You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. If only they realised that before they embarked on their As.

Mgmd. Im with the others. Your therapist sounds a prat and does not understand the underhand tactics of the LTA WS.


OTC. YEESSSSS!! RESULT!!!!! Bitch in the skip.


Im wearing my pendant. Thanks BT. Does it look purdy??

Today is a day to love ourselves. If we cant do that, nobody else can.

And, LostH, we can love each other.

FNF, lovely lines in that Blessing. Thank you.

I wont be at your little soiree tonight as FWH and I are out. Dont know where we are going, or what he has planned. Guess Ill just go along with it. With trepidation. But, at 10pm, I will toast the Tribe.

To all those struggling (including me!), big hugs and let tomorrow be a better day. And a whole year to the next Vday.
((((((((LTA Tribe))))))))


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WoW! (not the game)

It seems we are all re-claiming this day... bit by bit. I am so proud of us.
{{{NAS}}}
Love the pendant, BT. did you find it online?

FNF: what a lovely blessing. I will copy and paste to a document for future reading.

Sending good vibes across the ocean for UKgirl's wkend party.

LostH has a good idea...

To those of you who are struggling today, hold onto a thought/memory that is precious to get you through today.

I'm so glad I found SI and this forum of wise friends for support through this difficult journey.
Love to all {{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay, OTC, Happy No VD Day!

I feel like my H's LTA has forever stained my M, my life, my idealism. Nothing he will ever do can return the innocence and joy that his selfishness stole from me and from my children. And for what?? It is so meaningless, so absolutely pathetic. That some low-life, hideous creature with a self-esteem even lower than his own could enter my world and steal from me what was rightfully mine, and that he invited her to do just that, is beyond comprehension. We talk about entitlement as the attitude of some of these WS's - well as his wife I was entitled. I was entitled to his loyalty, his love, his care and devotion, his respect, his companionship, his sexuality, and together they stole each of these things for years. This is no minor offense no matter how many times our S's try to minimize their LTA's.

Wow, fnf, perfectly stated. That's exactly how I feel. Today has been a rough day, and it's only 9:30 am here. H is po'd because I just can't get back into to all the romantic aspects of the relationship and won't agree that "we turned the corner". It just seems so, for lack of a better word at the moment, bogus when just a little over a year ago, there were Vday cards for both of us. How do they keep it up? It's just so fucking pathological.

Hugs to all on this triggery day.

[This message edited by Steelergal at 11:55 AM, February 14th (Thursday)]


Posts: 701 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: No Cal
mindisgone
♀ Member
Member # 17772
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am half out of my mind today with anxiety. Guess VDay is actually going to be another DDay for me. After a long emotional talk last night, like so many others, me trying to reach past his fear, him struggling, today he came to me and said," you're right, you've been right all along, there is something i've been holding back and now i just have to find the courage to tell you"
And then he left, he said he needed to see his IC first, already had an appt. I'm left here to wait and i didn't call him back because i can only hope he will get the right advice from his IC. I've waited for so long now i can make it through the next few hours.
I am so scared though and i don't know what i'm more afraid of, hearing him confirm what i believe he's been so terrified to say or that he'll lose his nerve and tell me another bullshit piece of "trickle truth" because in the last few days i've gotten quite a bit of that. Nothing i hadn't already figured out for myself but still so very hard to hear.
Why am i so afraid though? It surely can't be anything i haven't conjured up in my mind at one time or another. And not worse than what i believe to be the truth. I'm prepared for the worst , so why am i so afraid? Help Please!!


too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart..

Posts: 678 | Registered: Jan 2008
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh crap mig!
Sorry I have to leave now but will be on later.

Listen to me:
Whatever you find out, YOU WILL BE FINE. Not straight away mind, but you will be.

Loads and loads of buckets of white light Sweetie.

(((MIG))))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
heftysmurf
♂ Member
Member # 17080
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fnf - I have read that statement like 20 times now.

It is hitting me so hard. I do not know how many of you feel but I have a "fracture" in my mind. I really do not know what the hell was the LTA time in my life. I do not even know what was real/ fake/ or a show. I have oh so many tainted memories and really in many ways cannot look back on anything except the birth of my D with any joy. I even think of things I did when WS was not around and had fun but role back to "I wonder what she was doing". Things together "what was she thinking"? Times when OM was at my house "what did they say and what happened".

I know the A is usually not about us at all. That helps. The fact that somebody who loves you can care so little for you as not realize the pain this would cause is quite another.

Hoping LTA Tribe has an OK V-day. I am trying.


BH-Me- 34 WW-Her- 29
D-Day- 11-04-07
M 6 years Together 12 years
2 YR DD WOW I love her!
LTA 6 YEARS - stolen time
Limbo. Praying for DD and our M.
In ridiculous pain. Amazed I can stand.

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: New York
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((mig)))

I am so sorry it looks like another dday but try to look at the good side, at least he is willing to let you know. He isn't boxing it up and hiding it from you. The only way for you both to heal is to know the full truth. It is like a boil, he needs to lance it and drain it or it will just stay infected in him.

Lean on us here today! I am around off and on all afternoon until about 4:30 east coast time...then at MC. I will be thinking of you.

You are strong enough to handle whatever the truth might be. Being lied to hurts worse.

(((MIG)))


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((mig)) Hang in there. I'd rather know it all no matter how painful. Then it can be fully processed and dealt with.

Posts: 701 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: No Cal
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, MIG, I can't believe he said that to you and then left you to wonder and have to prepare for the worst. I do think it's good that he went to his IC first but why tell you that and then leave.
There are times when their cluelessness is unbelievable.
We are here sending you hugs, support and prayers.
Heftysmurf - hugs to you too. I hope my words didn't upset you - but they are so true for me and it seems so many of us share these same feelings. Somehow just knowing others understand exactly what you're going through is so comforting.
Hugs to all who are struggling on this day, especially NAS and others for whom it is close to or is their d-day.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mig. He should not have done that. It isnt right to dangle a piece of information like that. When you talk to him, tell him that by saying that, you will only imagine the worst and that you could be so wound up by the time he does tell you, you might have his bags packed outside the door and the locks changed. This is messing with your mind and your emotions, mig. Dont stand for it. We all have had the trickle truth and it sucks. So sorry.

Hefty ride with the tide, its easier than trying to swim against it. Hugs on this tough day.

Gotta get my glad rags out. Look in later (as long as Im not completely blathered).


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do they keep it up? It's just so fucking pathological.

Steelergal - that is the one aspect that still haunts and terrifies me. They were just so "gifted" at deception.
I am always watching my H now trying to see if there really is truth behind the words he speaks to me.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.