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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs -IX
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, February 13th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay OTC!!! Celebration definitely in order!

I expect to here tomorrow @ 4p CST.

{{{LTA tribe}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, February 13th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC, Thank God!!!


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
soverysad
♀ Member
Member # 14594
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, February 13th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OTC - I am soooooooo happy to hear your news. Hope you celebrate well tonight.

******************************

Can't be here tomorrow at 4pm CST - work and picking up the kids. Then basketball. Yikes. You will all be in my thoughts though. The wise and warm words you post ring through my head when I feel low.

Struggling right now - like many of us, Vday just sucks royally. It was 5 years ago in February that the A started. February is only brightened by my DD's birthday.

((((((((((((LTA Tribe)))))))))

I miss you guys.



Posts: 518 | Registered: May 2007
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will be working tomorrow for the "meeting", but you will all be in my thoughts.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:08 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good morning all.

I am placing a huge vase of flowers on our coffeetable. The windows are open, the sun is shining warmly outside, and a cool breeze is blowing through.
There are gladiolis (strength), irises(faith, wisdom and hope), magnolias (nobility), orchids (beauty) and peruvian lilies (friendship).

Today is a day to love ourselves. If we cant do that, nobody else can.

What gift do you bring to our Tribal lodge?


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:30 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((OTC)))))

WAY TO GO COWGIRL!!!!
I am sooooo happy for you.
You can shut that cage now, and throw away the key.

****
Already had an argument with H about today. When DDs asked him if he believed in Vday and does he buy presents, he replied yes he does. Asshole hasnt given me anything since 2001. He confused me with OW.

Crap. I was fine with today, till he said that.he then said he will buy me and the DDs something on his way home. He later said that since I have been fighting with him the whole week, he didnt know what to do, so did nothing.Thats how he sees my meltdowns and triggering. As me fighting with him. Please...dont bother.

****
Thanks Nas and Fnf. Jeez, if I wasnt so brown, you would see me

****
Unable, GET the skype.
You can see whenever he is on.And there is a setting that will show you on your pc, how many contacts HE has on. And if you put in a keylogger on him, you will see all his chats and calls on skype. I believe in doing whatever it takes to make you feel safe, even small things like this. And get the webcam too! Get the whole shindig dudette! When he gets back home,then remove it.Thats my 2p!!

***

PF Changs lettuce wraps with Conundrum

What what what with what??

***
(((SVS)))
H's LTA#2 started 4 years ago this month too.Sigh.

***
Ok, on an O/T note.Challenge to self:
It has been (cough cough) brought to my attention that I use to many swear words, so I am going to try cutting back. Ahem.

****

Have a nice day Tribe.
Dont let the hype of today get you down. Really, for our WS's, every effin day should be Vday with us!
(oops does effin count? )


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning. I know it's early, but I've baked a lovely chocolate torte for later. I'll serve it with tea and coffee AFTER our toast. I've just put it down next to the lovely bouquet on the table.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NAS)))) Thinking of you today...


Zanny -

For now, I see a H who is reading books, eagerly accepts other books to read, attends IC, and dialogues about the A based on his own initiation. I did not get that before. I got what I thought was a very remorseful H who listened to me and consoled me without rapproach, but I did not get initiation and analyses that he gives now. You know, I have to say that the difference for me is that I want him to do this for HIM. Not for me, whatever happens, I'll be okay. I've accepted that, but to see him harness his own transformation, that's something I selfishly want to witness, but the results aren't for me.

This sounds great. I am happy for you that he has found this place. And, I am proud of you for all your strength through this. I hope, for both of you, that he does the work for himself that brings you both to a better place.

You asked how we found our current MC: after dday#2 I knew we needed someone with more "firepower" when the degree of my Hs infidelity was finally fully disclosed. He was seeing an IC who is head of the president of the regional psychoanalytic society. We asked him for a bunch of names, interviewed the various people and found her. I would say she was by far the best. I knew that she was "it" at the first meeting after we had given her a summary of the situation and she looked at my husband and told him that he was lucky I was there and that there had been an incredible amount of damage to the M. As I said, if anyone is in the area, she is great.

Lost Heart - I brought a giant bowl of dark chocolates. They may be sinful but they do have some health benefits (that's my story and I'm sticking with it. ).

PF Changs lettuce wraps with Conundrum

Let me translate: PF Changs is a chain of high end Chinese restaurants in the states. They have a dish called "Lettuce Wraps" were you are served a sauted shredded chicken and leaves of lettuce. You wrap the chicken in the lettuce leaves sort of tortilla style and eat...delicious. Conundrum is a wine that is made with several different varieties of grapes that gives it a very unique flavor and it goes reeeeaalllly well with lettuce wraps. God, I am making myself hungry!

OTC - hope your (ahem) night went well...

[This message edited by hurtshirley at 6:51 AM, February 14th (Thursday)]


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
heftysmurf
♂ Member
Member # 17080
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to say hi and hope everyone has an OK V-day.
((((LTA Tribe))))


BH-Me- 34 WW-Her- 29
D-Day- 11-04-07
M 6 years Together 12 years
2 YR DD WOW I love her!
LTA 6 YEARS - stolen time
Limbo. Praying for DD and our M.
In ridiculous pain. Amazed I can stand.

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: New York
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC, I am beyondthrilled for you!!!! WHat wonderful news! Hope you and your vjayjay had a good night with wh! roflmbo!

Had a disgruntled night last night. He wanted to play Everquest a seond night in a row. Had played it for 5 hous the niht before. Whatever. I was irritated. He didn't get it. tried to explein that he has destroyed all trut and security. So every little thing make sme wonder makes me think my world is going to shatter again. I'm just waiing for the next stone t be unturned. Mabe if I was in a secure happy relationship than it wouldn't be a big dea but i'm not.

He made some dumb ass comment about how he knows it's been 5 year, he's heard m say it before adn what, he can't ever play on the cpmuter again? UGH!!!!! Umm, no buddy but you have had 5 years to adjust to it all, it's all new for me. And I haven't seen you celibate from th ecomputer. PS, you haven't ever had ot be alone. I've been alone for 5 years and I woudl rather actually be alone and be lonely than be wit someone and be lonely again. SO when I feel like things are headed back own that road, even slighlty, I am goign to get little defensive. I have tried repeatedly to see your point of view, maybe you coudl try to see mine.

In his defense, he did say I was right. Then I went upstairs and I coudlnt help it, I stated spouting bout how BTW am terrified of this EMG today adn told you several times, did it ever occur to you to support me in any way. Nooooo. Hecomes up the stairs and I told him to go back down.

He says why, you wanted me up here, that's why you're yelling. No, I don't, I'm pissd and you can just go do whatever you were doing.

So he did. Asshole. I don't want his comfort when he's doing it b/c he thinks he hs to though. Ick.

This moening there was a bouquest of wild flwers from the kids and then a bouquest of red roses form him. A lovelysentimental card and then he wrote,

I truly do love you, Kat. I can never make up for the past but I can try to make our future better. I woudl be empt without you. Love, wh

He never sas anything romantic, so that was nice. And he got up with the kdis (rarely does this) adn came down to say happy Valentine's Day. Kept saying he loved me and I told him I loved him too, even though he was a jerk yesterdy.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For today's toast I've dipped some beautiful red strawberries in rich, dark chocolate. I couldn't bring myself to dip them in milk chocolate but if someone insists I'll certainly add a few more to my serving platter.
See you all at 5 EST! P.S. I'm bringing some champagne too since nothing goes better with my strawberries.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good day tribe!

My H got home before me yesterday and dinner was on the table (I'd put chicken in the oven before I went out but he did the rest) along with a dozen red roses and a card. We'd had quite a 'discussion' Tuesday night and I think I may have got through to him. Hence the early Vday here. He went back to work til 10p but called me twice.
So far, so good today... kisses/hugs/off to work... I have no plans for the rest of the day. It's -31C (-43 windchill) so I'm staying put!

Hope everyone looks after themselves today.
LostH has a great idea imho. Weepy's torte has me drooling. I haven't baked since December (weight reduction plan is ongoing here). Might have to 'cheat' today though.

I'll be here later and in and out during the day. {{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fnf, dark chocolate is wonderful and like shirley says, "it's good for you and I'm sticking to that."

But I am dipping strawberries in white chocolate to top the torte, which is glazed in dark chocolate of course.

lostsuol, Oh Lord don't let the dr. check my blood sugar next week! But I was at the gym this morning. That's 8/10 days. My middle doesn't show it, but my legs feel slimmer. And don't you know there's no calories in foods eaten on holidays!

OTC - Let me add my congratulations on the ridding of the OW on a cellular level...

(((nas)))

I dropped the "funny" valentine next to H's tea cup this morning. He came up and woke me with a kiss and a "Happy Valentine's Day, I love you".

He's pretty sure he has the new job. They grilled him for 6 hours yesteday and all they told him was to lose the hat and to quit smoking. Apparently the smell of cigarettes offends the hoity toity. We talked at great length about it. About the hours, about how he's going to have to be responsible for carving out family time and what he can do to ease my mind about his flexible schedule again. That I had trepidations about it, but if he kept me involved in the work, I'd feel a whole lot better. When he had the business before, I was told to keep my nose OUT. Of course I know why now and it's a red flag I'll keep an eye out for. Along with all the other "signs".

He texted me on the way home from IC and asked me to pick him up cigarettes. When I got home, he only had 2 ones so I said don't worry about it. That I trust him. And he said thank you. Then I hit him with "I trust you'll pay me the other $2."

But right now I do. The way he's handling this job change, including me, actually making a point of telling me that I didn't have to work again if he got this job (unless I wanted to), shows me he knows I'm tired and really need this break.

The only thing that concerns him -- and it was him who brought it up -- was that the medical might not cover our counseling. I told him we'd cross that bridge when we came to it.

Well, time to shower and start the errands.

Everyone have a great day and I'll see you back here at 5 PM EST.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Morning all.

Cowgirl, yep....picturing the verizon "network"....

For you UK girls....Verizon, a major phone/cable/TV company, has an advert that shows a customer with a a HUGE army of people behind them wherever they go....verizon's "network" of people to support their products and services.
Our tribe is our network....

For the table...along with the flowers and cake and choc/dipped strawberries.... I am placing a lovely, 5 inch across, lilac colored, crystal butterfly. She is exquisitely cut with many shimmering facets to catch the sun coming thru the open windows. Her wings are fully open, as if to soar.
She is beautiful.....and only so, because she has made it thru the chrysalis stage.

TTYL...hugs

[This message edited by numb and scared at 8:22 AM, February 14th (Thursday)]


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning all! Well, I would like to contribute 15 hunky cabana boys dressed in skimpy loin cloths (and one cabana girl for Hefty) to wait on us hand and foot all day in our room here. Our wish is their command! Picture whoever you want your cabana boy to be. I'm picturing Blair Underwood after watching a week of In Treatment on HBO. My GOD that man is beautiful!!!

Thanks to the rest of you for the hoorays! And for being there for me through this. Ding, dong the bitch is DEAD!!!

It has been (cough cough) brought to my attention that I use to many swear words, so I am going to try cutting back. Ahem.
If you think you're bad Lost...... I'm REALLY in trouble!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Shirley for that gastronomical piece of info!

***
SoL, heres what IC told me.
When you drive, you stop at the red lights. If you keep driving through the red lights, you are bound to crash.
You have been ignoring your red lights (as have I in the past week apparently!).
There are issues that have been troubling you (for eg H's gametime) and you have been speeding past them. You are heading for a crash SoL.Last night showed you some of that.

I dont mean to sound so pessimistic, but thats what it looks like to me. By avoiding the issues, or just dipping in them quickly.

If your H;s game time is an issue, sort it out. MAke it clear to him what you will or will not tolerate. So what if you come out as "bad mummy"?? This is your health and your M!

Its only recently that H started playing games again, and even then its with DS.And time limited.

Stop at the red light SoL.I am going to try to too.

(((SoL)))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am bringing two things. First, sage to throw in the fire. Apparently American Indians and my new age hippie friends believe sage has the power to cleanse your spirit and change your luck, if you so desire.

Also, I thought it was about time we had a tribal symbol. I considered the pretty diamond journey pendants that are so popular. The sentiment was right, but somehow it didn't seem to fit us. So, I looked at real tribal symbols, and they seemed a bit too . . . intense.

So, I settled on the following. Hopefully, I can do this right to post the picture. It is an alpha/omega pendant, symbolizing a thinking person's journey through life. Have one for each of you. Hope you like them.


ETA: Joe and Hefty, we'll do yours in pewter on a manly leather necklace, or whatever you call those things.

[This message edited by BorrowTrouble at 9:23 AM, February 14th (Thursday)]


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT beautiful and fits right in with the "conscious marriage" theory.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT,

Love the pendant....Just perfect!!

The sage too.....a cleansing symbol for sure..


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Numb, I'm holding you especially tight in my heart today and beaming out strong and healing thoughts.

Hopefully, I'm sending them out in the right direction. I can be directionally challenged.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
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