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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N.P.D. Thread Part V
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, February 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((JJCT)))
That above was SWEET !!!

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, February 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah..you supply the shovel...

we had our friggin ACs on today!

Funny how her little other man pork-moment turned into such a happy meal, eh?

[This message edited by jjct at 11:24 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, February 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally hear what you are saying Lied and JJ. You both are saying things I can relate to!

JJ - Because we are not like them we try to understand. Sometimes it helps; sometimes it doesn't. The anger can be immense are there is a huge range of emotions before you can even begin to take a step forward. One of the emotions I have only recently recognised is my anger and denial. I posted recently that I asked for my key back - I let him have a key because I though there was still a chance he could be a decent parent to my children. I allowed my bondries to become blurred because I would not or could not face the truth. Sometimes the truth is very painful. I think you are at that stage, even thought your circumstances are different. To face the truth about how we were duped and treated so badly is almost beyond comprehension. I sense many emotions from you - all of which are understandable!

Lied - I know what you mean. Single-parenthood is tough going. It is made even harder when one of these freaks are involved. I'd send the email to him - he is an arse, it won't mean anything to him but at least you have got your pov across and after so many years of having your voice denied it will feel good! I so understand how you feel - If I was near you - I'd babysit whilst you went on a mad shopping spree and an afternoon in a spa!

Bob - hope you are ok and the paperwork for your divorce is moving along.

Surviving NPD is only for the strongest!! We are tough and can do it!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, February 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just (((hugs))) to everyone. It must be the moon or something because I have been going through a bad patch, too. I just dropped my N husband off this weekend in New Orleans, and found out some new things that sent me reeling (he had been claiming to meet the father of one his buddies, but he was actually meeting another woman down the street. They've been calling each other and he even tried to get a job for her in our city, 2 hours away. The killing part was that he dragged me out into the freezing fucking cold Sunday morning to give me a lecture on how unhealthy our relationship was. No shit, Sherlock). Then I kind of regressed into passive doormat mode until we left (I guess I was keeping the peace so as not to spook him and have him stay home, but I still disgust myself with how much I sucked up this weekend). It's Wednesday, and I finally may be able to get my first good, untroubled sleep. Would you believe I have a perfectly good king-sized bed at my disposal and I haven't slept in yet??? Insane, I know.... being normal is going to take some time.

Oh well, that was my yonk. I hope you guys get some peace away from your N's and learn to just let them go, even if it is only for a teensy little while. Take a mini-vacation from the madness they spread.

[This message edited by veritas at 4:36 PM, February 27th (Wednesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, February 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't been around much in this forum. Ive been working a lot and, to be honest,it is just to hard to read here sometimes.

I need to vent though and don't know where to do it. My mother is calling me several times a day...4 to 6 times a day. I limit my responses to one call a day or one every other day. Today she went on and on and on about what wimps my father's parents were. They were very good to me as a child. They provided unconditional love at a time in my life when my mother certianly wasnt capable of it. They were so good to me. My counselor has told me to stay away from my mother due to her behavior.

It is really painful to her her rant on and on about my grandparent's deficiencys. I usually say nothing and try to end the conversation. She has called back several times. I just needed to vent about this. Thank you.


Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, February 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cerise))) I certainly can relate because I happened to be on the receiving end of several convos that I did NOT want to be on this weekend!

I hope things get better for you.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, February 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cerise and veritas - being at the receiving end of an npd rant is no fun - just an endurance test...

Veritas - I certainly went through the passive doormat stage many times. Because it was far easier. It also lulled my ex-husband into a false sense of security - I took some legal action that he did not expect etc etc. He was surprised at this as he thought I would never do it. It was the beginning of me standing up to him. Your time will come when you no longer have to be passive...

I had to phone the freak last night about my dd and when she needed to be picked up etc. Obviously my number did not come up on his phone because he answered in a jovial voice and when he discovered it was me his voice was full of hate and disgust! I guess this means he has some capacity for empathy because that is exactly how I feel when I speak to him!!
My dd said last night that she does not like his temper and that he is nasty when he does not get his own way. She also said she does not like his parents (you know the ones who took legal action to try and make us homeless). None of it was surprising - just a bit grotty to hear. What a mess!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, February 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I guess this means he has some capacity for empathy because that is exactly how I feel when I speak to him!!"

Now that was funny!!!!!!

((((Tribe)))))
Plus....it's just an endurance test!!!!

itsa - was that you, a few pages back that said something about learning more from the freak in 30 seconds of listening?
It was wise, whoever said it....

Funny how seemingly small things can crystallize into metaphorical moments.
Like the snick of a lock, her most recent rudeness, hanging up on me, has turned into a great help for my detaching.

Awhile ago, I looked up a song that was mentioned on a thread as being an appropriate reply to some goofy WS's shenanigans.

I downloaded it as a ringtone, LOL!
- and have to go to the local service center today to program it to her # - & get it to *playback* when she calls (she will hear it as the ring)...

It will help me NOT ANSWER!

I don't know how they did it - but youtube found me!
- at the 2:55 of the following clip. Amazing!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hlVvuHioDyY


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, February 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is that you tossing bricks?

I like that song. I had never heard it before but it is so fitting. Thanks for sharing.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
landabear
♀ Member
Member # 15046
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, February 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Something is definitely in the air - yesterday I get a stupid email forward from my ExN. Today? He called to say our 5 year old asked if the kids, the ex, I and BF could all have dinner together one night next week.

Right. The 5 year old thought of this ALL by himself.

I don't even know how to say a big enough NO to that. Why would I want to pretend to be a big happy family?


BS
Divorced: March 2006
Married to a wonderful, FAITHFUL man: October 2009

Posts: 729 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Midwest
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, February 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Is that you tossing...?"

Figuratively speaking, yes.

Ding dangit - can't get it as a 'playback' though....yet.

[This message edited by jjct at 7:41 PM, February 28th (Thursday)]


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, February 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, February 28th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((BoB))), are you and the girls feeling any better today? Keep warm. Tea and honey!

LL


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

THANK GOD FEBRUARY 2008 is O-VAH! I am so blessed in so many ways, not the least of which is living with a wonderful human being who doesn't feel the slightest need to berate, belittle, undermine, shame, browbeat, needle, or otherwise torment me. (Just sayin' life after NPDXs is possible! After I left Bizarro, I said repeatedly, "I'll be a damned fool if I ever marry again." I wanted to marry Mr. Longlost on April Fool's Day, but we couldn't manage that. S'awright. We managed enough!)

BUT. February is just too much. Even with the current good connotations, Valentine's Day will always have a down side. February also has Bizarro's birthday and the Bizarro wedding anniversary. Poor February! It's a perfectly good month. It never meant anyone any harm. But still. . . .

C'mon, March!!!! C'mon April Fool's Day!!!

(((Tribe))), You are always in my thoughts. I hope that spring will bring some peace and joy for at least some of you. Let it seep in and stay.


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((LL)))))

The bad news is - today is the anniversary.

The good news is - I only have to deal w/ it as a little ol triglet -

once every 4 years!

(remember, if your phone doesn't ring - it's me!)


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A leap year anniversary, cool. I think it would really suck to have a birthday on Feb 29th.

Do something good for yourself today. You deserve it.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanking (((((TRIBE)))))))

Made it through the day - my favorite thing is talking with friends, so I treated my self to a couple of chats. One over the phone, with a dear old friend I had lost touch with...I wish you guys could hear our convos! You'd be laffing so dam hard! It's so great!
The other friend is new, but is like my dear sister. (I lost my younger sister to Cystic Fibrosis when I was 18).
& yous guys!
Having this place to be - to let my hair down & just be *real* (funny isn't it? - being virtual, yet so real?).

Symbolic stuff. The strange & constantly mindbending pseudo language of planetNPD - this being the big kahuna anniversary, I'm pretty sure she has to have some kind of awareness now -
seeing's how I didn't have one word with her yesterday. No email, no card, no vm...absolutely nada -

I'm feeling relieved, actually, and I like it that I'm feeling this way...so I think that means that there's good news for me to my buddies on the thread here -

Even thinking about it - no, at least for now - but I really would like to keep this! - but at least now, thinking about it - I really have no desire to ever have to talk with her again.

Feels pretty dam good.

Do you guys have any idea how much I appreciate you?
LOL!


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just for fun -

(see? I'm getting out, ok?) lol!

I'm absolutely certain that tam is tribe -

I'm sending her some spayshul mojo!

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=219004


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would I want to pretend to be a big happy family?

Because it doesn't make them look like the twits that they are, darn it! You should be ecstatic to play happy family to unsuspecting people...

My MIL just got The Call from her other son's boyfriend. It seems that her BPD-and-likely-NPD son is up to his usual tricks: lying, squandering money on everything other than household bills, etc., and he is ready to kick him out. She was gracious enough to tell him about his previous bout with counseling, but not about his attempts at suicide, his clinical diagnosis, the fact that he is supposed to be on medication, and her own personal hell in dealing with him. I think she managed to pull off the Happy Family routine long enough to convince boyfriend that all he needed was a change of scenery and "maybe" some counseling... (that's the sound of my sides splitting), so he may not ship her problem child back to her just yet. More fool him. I wish I could tell him what the deal really is, but I don't even know his last name, and since Brother Dear has no income and no credit (bankruptcy due to a business that failed), I can't just google him and find out.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am freaked out. The other day I got a letter from the city addressed to the ex's stepfather at my address. I opened the letter and it was informing him that his membership with the city's community center ended this month. It is a fully subsidized mambership for 12 months so he has done this in the last year. He owns his own home and is married so I highly doubt he would get a subsidized mambership with a good pension etc. and then why not use his own address? He owns a home in the city and if he is entitled to a mambership then use his own address. Anything else is fraud.

He has never lived here and as far as I know he has never had permission to use this address for anything. I have owned the house alone for almost 3 years (and the ex has been gone 4 1/2 yrs) so neither he or his step-son have had permission to use this address for anything. What the hell.

I opened the envelop that was not addessed to me but I know that the step-father is in Florida and he will likely not be home for a month or more. He hates me at the best of times so why use my address? He owns his own home in this city.

Freakin pack of liars. I hate the whole bunch of them. I would not mind as much of he had been using the membership to take my kids skating or swimming etc. but he has not done any of that with them.

What would you do with this?


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
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