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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs V I I I
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Something I wanted to run past ya'll.

Last weekend H and I talked about the possibility that sugar was causing me mood swings. H did not bring this up, I did.

I've been in a great mood all week. Today at lunch I had a chocolate bar and almost immediately afterward I get this lump in my throat and want to cry. That extreme sadness came over me. "It's chocolate". I think that chocolate is bothering me. Or at least contributing to my mood swings.

Roses are Red
Chocolate is Yummy
But if FSA is gonna have a good time in bed
No more chocolate in her tummy

Watch what you eat and see if you are able to make a connection to your triggers.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting FSA. I know the change in my meds made me loony the other night Monday I think. I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself one moment, 15 minutes later I was taking my DD's head off about some trash she threw away.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Drum roll please..........

TEST WAS NEGATIVE.

What a relief!

Now, if I can figure out why my hormones have gone wacky....!?

Thanks for all your support.

As to the whole forgiveness topic re: the OW, I keep thinking back to one of my church services on this topic. I distinctly remember the pastor saying that forgiveness does NOT have to be given to those who do not seek it out from you. SO, I figure for most of us there is no chance in h*** that the OW will come knocking with this request. In my mind, I get a free pass not to forgive, as long as I contain the bitterness from ruining ME

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA - it's not chocolate for me that affects my mood it's wine.

My weakness is wine
It is so very fine
It makes me feel gooey inside.
But within a short time
I am asleep from the vine
And hubby is left with no ride.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TEST WAS NEGATIVE.

Hooray HB - now all we need is some more good news from OTC. If the tribe has anything to do with this, she's sure to come out just fine too.
BTW - I'm with you on trying to keep the bitterness from ruining me. Not quite there yet but hoping to get there some day soon.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FNF, girl you are bad!!!!!!!!

I've been too busy to come up with much today. I think I'll try this evening at home.

I'm really kind of ashamed to try, there have been some doosies this week. I'm bowing in awe to all of you.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA - We are all bowing to you - You are the champion!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought chocolate was supposed to make you feel good. Damn, I've got an awful sweettooth too.

Good, to *see* you too, OTC. Sorry to see all the new folks but glad they found their way here.

That's good news, HB. It was about four years out with the Mirena that my periods almost ceased. Most of my PMS symptoms went with it too. I figure that could be good bit of the reason why I've managed to survive the past year w/o ADs.

@ all the talent here. We may need to make a book of Odes to the LTA OPs.

[This message edited by Steelergal at 11:51 AM, February 1st (Friday)]


Posts: 701 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: No Cal
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi to all.

Had an abrupt change of plans today and just now reading all the new posts.

Zanny....SO glad to see you back in form....
"Gerbils"....

Also love hearing you say that although you are starting over...it is from a better place.
I know how that goes.
Better, as in stronger, less fearful.

Shirley, I read your H's post in WW...great perspective from BOTH of you. He had the kind of mental cloudburst that would make life so much easier for all BS if WS's could immediately have that clarity after D-day.
Uni's answer to him was excellent.

mindisgone,
We are unshockable here.. ..
Please no doubts about anything you post not being received with empathy.

Reading it, I agree with the others. Fantasies are almost "hobbies" for some people. What these fantasies can or do lead to, is what determines how pathological they can be. At least he is recognizing his pattern is out of the norm range.
And ALL of us here have stories that we cringe thinking about. You are among friends.

fsa, Interesting question about the chocolate. Do you notice the mood swings with sugar in general...or just chocolate?

HB...GREAT NEWS!!!!!
You deserve a day at the spa now.

RE: OW forgiveness, OW "forgetness"....
Won't happen here, not in this lifetime.
However, her role in my life IS in the past....his past, my past, our past.
BUT...what she did, what she was..is not forgettable or forgivable. There are too many chapters to it all.

She doesn't matter except to know as long as she breaths air on this earth plane, I will remember what she is and what she did ....And should I ever come in contact with her..it most likely wouldn't be pretty.

fnf,
Hey sister.....you really should see if Hallmark is hiring.....

OTC...Glad that part is over for you. Return visits to the stirrups are not fun.
I just "feel" the tests are going to be fine.

[This message edited by numb and scared at 5:18 PM, January 31st (Thursday)]


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB- TEST IS NEGATIVE

YEAAAH! Now what do I do with the camado booties?

Thank you to everyone for reading my Hs post and replying either to him or to me here.

So this is what scares the absolute shit out of me. What if this is, yet again, another mask? What if this man is so unbelievable damaged/evil that he is able to do this. Remeber what he was already capable of pulling off and how/when will I know this is true?

Okay, I will now answer my own question...I will never know and I need to decide whether to put myself in this situation or to say "no more" I will never be able to trust you. Hmmmm, it is really weird talking to yourself...


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
zanny
♀ Member
Member # 13183
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB: Congrats on the negative test!

As to the whole forgiveness topic re: the OW, I keep thinking back to one of my church services on this topic. I distinctly remember the pastor saying that forgiveness does NOT have to be given to those who do not seek it out from you. SO, I figure for most of us there is no chance in h*** that the OW will come knocking with this request. In my mind, I get a free pass not to forgive, as long as I contain the bitterness from ruining ME

So true, she's not looking for it, so why bother? I have to tell you though, I CRINGE at the thought of OW looking for forgiveness because I know I would NEVER be able to muster that and I would be enraged at the thought of her even asking for it. Uh uh- no way.

"Gerbils"....


Remember the Richard Gere rumor that circulated years ago? Not so normal


BS-Me
WS-Him
D-day #1 LTA
False Reconciliation then
D-day #2
In reconciliation


"Just when the caterpillar thought it was over, she became a butterfly."


Posts: 573 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: The Middle of Somewhere
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just read unicornsearchers post in WW......."Uni's WS True Confession Finally.."

I am stunned. My heart goes out to her..and to her generous heart for asking for help for him.


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Snaggletooth bitch sat in the woods
Snaggletooth bitch said she'd do all that she could

All the damn horse and all the MM
Did snaggletooth bitch over and over again


There once was a bitch who needed a bucket
To put over her head
The bucket it didn't want to go there
B/c it would have to touch that skanky ass hair
So she tried to use a paper sack next
But it ran away and left her with a hext
So she asked a respectable lady such as I
What can I do to get me a guy
Being a lady who knows the best place she could be led
Said the only thing you can do would be to cut off your head


Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Bitch wouldn't you love to know
These are all about you


HI SNAGGLETOOTH

FSA

[This message edited by Feeling so alone at 9:29 AM, February 2nd (Saturday)]


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA!!! you just made me laugh out loud with that last 'poetry'. the bucket stanza got me, for sure. Good think FWH is at work or he'd be coming to see what I'm doing at the 'puter AND that I didn't just have a sip of water (I do have it by the kb) or I'd be running for paper towels.

Good news HeartBroken. Big sigh of relief for you. Sure wish I'd known that an IUD would slow down the flow to the point of almost ceasing. I took 'the pill' for yrs due to irregular and lengthy periods. IUD was never suggested. Sorry Hefty & Joe if that was TMI.

Zanny... welcome back. Your positive thoughts are an inspiration.

RE: OW forgiveness, OW "forgetness"...
Won't happen here, not in this lifetime.

And definitely not this week as she will probably start working seasonal this wkend. This week has been a hard one as knowing that the time was approaching has me on edge and Dday anti-versary is 02/07/08 so that is weighing on me too. Will H even think of the date? Probably not if I don't mention it. Conflict avoidance, anyone.

I'm heading over to WS to read what HS's FWH has written. I wish my H would spend the time to write his feelings down for me. I've only been waiting almost a year. Oops... pity party starting.

C U later ... {{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm heading over to WS to read what HS's FWH has written
Somebody tell me how to find this.


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA - go to the bottom of this page and where you see Forum click on the down arrow until you see Wayward Side then click on that and click go. Then once you get to the Wayward side look for emptyone and you'll see his post. Let me know if this helps. You can also look on the left hand side of the page click on Forum and go to Wayward side and then look for emptyone. Good luck.
ETA - The topic is "facing the awful self image."

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 9:13 PM, January 31st (Thursday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
unicornsearcher
♀ Member
Member # 912
Cool  Posted: 10:37 PM, January 31st (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

N & S, thanks for your kind thoughts. I'm still stunned among other things too.

What a waste of so many years for nothing. And how incredibly sad for both of us. His feeling that he had to lie, my insisting he had to tell the truth all this time, ten yrs now taking into acct pre & post Devastation Day.

WS was never a happy camper gloating WS, this was tearing him apart yrs before he got busted. In fact that was when I got him a home blood pressure cuff since he was in such bad shape (but I thought it was work related). He has been very ill in a lot of ways particularly since DDay, suicidal at times, as is also true for me. And I have definitely not been the "tiptoe BS" at all, the amount of anger / rage directed at him constantly (not to mention the tears) was enough to get us to the moon & back at least. It will be nice to actually consider being friends again, & this was the first needed step. I'm very glad he took it & that we can know maybe work at least a bit better together to decide what is best for us individually & jointly.

I think this a very good thing for us both, even if we are definitely not the poster child for anything but how to make a betrayal recovery as impossible & hurtful as humanly possible. Ugh.


11/02 Busted WH 4+ cheating yrs, 11/06 Busted [Month Long Lustfest]. 2/1/08 admits false version of betrayals, so no full disclosure / "whole truth" yet. '09 Together, great work in progress. '12 Still gladly united.

Posts: 14209 | Registered: Jan 2003 | From: Calif
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:59 AM, February 1st (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you everyone for all the good wishes.My Tribe.

The day went well. I was at the tube station v early and had to keep my feet still as I wanted to yell out to everyone, " I am a working woman!!". In case they took it the wrong way.

I came home exhausted and starving. The kids were fine but clingy.

Mr LH? You know what, he did fine. I could choose to point out what he didnt do at all, or didnt do well, but I want to choose to look at all the things he did do well. The kids were all sorted out. The house was fine. He even managed to do 2 loads of washing!
So he did pretty good. I could so get used to this!!
****

HB, I am pleased for you. Whew!

Shirley, hang onto those booties.You never know...

***
FSA, bad chocolate??!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOO........

Never! Chocolate is good. Good is chocolate.

Seriously, though, maybe you are onto something. Have you had your glucose levels tested recently?Just got the following off the net:

The MIND Food and Mood Project1 revealed that there is a relationship between ‘what you eat and how you feel’. Eating well is associated with lower anxiety levels, less depression, less mood swings, fewer cravings and eating problems such as binge eating and bulimia, reductions in pre-menstrual tension and less fatigue.
Eating well involves having a balanced and varied diet and having regular meals. It is the opposite of the diet/binge cycle (going long periods without food then succumbing to a binge). Starving oneself leads to low blood sugar and consequent apathy and low mood. It is often followed by cravings for high sugar foods such as chocolate and fizzy drinks, which cause a rapid escalation of blood sugar. This process can then lead to cycles of highs and lows, ‘the shakes’, irritability and anger. A diet that is relatively low in fat and salt, includes (preferably fresh and lightly cooked) vegetables, fresh fruit, high fibre foods, nuts and pulses and (for non-vegetarians) oily fish and lean meat, has regularly been shown to be associated with greater physical and psychological well-being. Above all else the consistent recommendation has been for people to have a varied diet.

****
Shirley

So this is what scares the absolute shit out of me. What if this is, yet again, another mask? What if this man is so unbelievable damaged/evil that he is able to do this. Remeber what he was already capable of pulling off and how/when will I know this is true?

This dilemma is oh so familiar. The thing is we wont know. We have to trust ourselves that when we do find out, that we will be able to stand strong in spite of it.

Still...
***

FNF and FSA!!
Thank you for my am chuckles. H sits across me on his pc, and often asks me, "What are you grinning about?"

***
Have a good friday everyone!
OH, and since health checks got pushed aside for this week, I am sure we will ALL be on form, come Monday??


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, February 1st (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Eating well is associated with lower anxiety levels, less depression, less mood swings, fewer cravings and eating problems
Are you trying to say that a chocolate bar for lunch is not eating well???
Starving oneself leads to low blood sugar and consequent apathy and low mood.
Since Dday I average one meal a day. But in the last few months my eating habits have improved, like a LARGE chocolate bar for lunch. Come to think of it. After Dday I went on the infidelity diet for the best part of a year. I went this whole time without any sweets or sodas. I also did much better the first year than I have this second year. Hummmm.
Guess I need to eat more chocolate to get my body used to it again (just kidding). But I am fairly sure that the chocolate affected my mood yesterday.

LH glad you had a good day and that H came through for you. Any chance of being called back on that job?

Everybody have a great Friday.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, February 1st (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA,one meal a day!
Come on FSA, you can look after yourself better than that.You are way too skinny as it is...
How about carrying a packed lunch to work? You have to make DS's lunch for school right, so do yours then too.
And it doesnt have to be a heavy meal. Pitta bread with humous or a salad roll is light but healthy.
I am going to be on ass about this, so be warned!

I didnt get any feedback from the agency yet, so till then...



Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
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