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User Topic: Long Term Affairs V I I I
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exhausted, so not too much personal stuff. Hope everyone who is under the weather starts feeling better soon!

I forgave pretty quickly to be honest. That doesn't mean I forgot or I am over it, but I chose to forgive. I don't knwo how or why but after much prayer I was able to.

That does not mean we will for sure stay together. I do think he is trying. On an everyday, little things basis he is really trying. He has fucked up a couple times, but I need to see it through. I am determined that I will not be i the samekind of marriage that I was in. It will be a better, stronger, closer marriage or nothing at all.

I called today and hs phone was off. He alwasy kep his pone off or on bibrate and now I know it was in case she called. So that's a 5 year habit. he turned it off at the dentist. I know, I know, maybe I'm making excuses. I called and went right to voicemail. Trigger, trigger, reigger.

He immediately apologized when he got t. The fact tat h knew why it wasupsetting helped a lot.

I don't know. I doubt daily if we will stay together and believe with all my heart daily that we will stay together. It's the scariest thing I have ever done.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't forgiven yet, but I intend to. Otherwise, I will cheat myself out of a full life. Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with my H, the OW, or the A. It's about setting myself free. How can I not strive for that?

run,

This is a perfect description of where a LTA takes a BS when attempting to R.

I have said from the beginning, once I accepted the situation for what it is/was.......that forgiveness needs to become a non-issue for me. The fact that I have chosen to stay is more compelling and inspiring than any words of "I forgive you."

He seems to know that if he asked for those words, I am not there yet....but... I AM here ...by choice and intent.

Moving on to the future....

Hugs to all

[This message edited by numb and scared at 5:24 PM, January 14th (Monday)]


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
heftysmurf
♂ Member
Member # 17080
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a wish for all the LTA tribe to feel better at least physically real soon.

I am thinking like this. I accept and move on alone and do not forgive or she earns forgiveness and we stay together. The key thing is progress. I must see steps. IC, caring behaviors, and her instigating some apologies about the affair. Either way I move on.

Probably the thing that gets me is this thing started 3 mos after I was married. Does my wife not understand we in many ways were never married and how hard it is for me to wrap my head around that.

Tons of hugs all around!


BH-Me- 34 WW-Her- 29
D-Day- 11-04-07
M 6 years Together 12 years
2 YR DD WOW I love her!
LTA 6 YEARS - stolen time
Limbo. Praying for DD and our M.
In ridiculous pain. Amazed I can stand.

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: New York
soverysad
♀ Member
Member # 14594
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you forgive when the reality of the LTA is thrown in your face over and over?

How do I move past that deep down pain when there has to be contact with the HO B@#*h?

How do I live a full life when constant sucker punches come from the HO B@#*h?

It's enough to make anyone insane.

I think about this LTA and I know it wasn't as long as some, but longer than others, and it has these in your face consequences. I can barely wrap my brain around dealing with the financial mess that this has brought, much less the whys and hows of the LTA itself. Does this mean I will never be able to move on? Is this it? My life, spent looking over my shoulder, protecting my assets, struggling for money, always?

What can I do?



Posts: 518 | Registered: May 2007
heftysmurf
♂ Member
Member # 17080
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

soverysad - Welcome to hell!

You will get past this together or apart.

I can say now 10 weeks in I still do not know. I am beyond hurt.

One thing I do know I have a lot more life in me and will get better. I must. I have too much to live for.

A few ?'s

When was d-day

Is your spouse remorseful. Mine is not hurts like mad.

Any counseling?

Any meds?


BH-Me- 34 WW-Her- 29
D-Day- 11-04-07
M 6 years Together 12 years
2 YR DD WOW I love her!
LTA 6 YEARS - stolen time
Limbo. Praying for DD and our M.
In ridiculous pain. Amazed I can stand.

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: New York
2yrsinthedark
♀ Member
Member # 16278
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi guys, I am hoping you can help me out w/ this question. I was wondering how a WH can honestly feel remorse after a LTA. I mean it went on for two yrs, gaslighted me throughout, knew exactly what he was doing. He had more than enough time to think about what he was doing. Im wondering if he "feels remorse" because he got caught. Also, how can he tell me that he was wrong about her and it really wasnt "love" he felt for her. Really? After two yrs, no PA, it was an EA. How could he had felt all these feelings for so long and now, he gets caught and those feelings are gone?? It helped that when I told OW to stay the hell away, she did the right thing and has had NC. He is doing all the right things, and I really dont want to bring this up to him, but I just cant get these questions out of my head. I was just to easy.


"Trust but verify"

Me-44 BS
Him-44 WS
Married 18 yrs
Dday 8/25/07
two yr EA (maybe longer, maybe w/ more than one)
4 Kids 15,13,8,8


Posts: 378 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: TX
2yrsinthedark
♀ Member
Member # 16278
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi guys, I am hoping you can help me out w/ this question. I was wondering how a WH can honestly feel remorse after a LTA. I mean it went on for two yrs, gaslighted me throughout, knew exactly what he was doing. He had more than enough time to think about what he was doing. Im wondering if he "feels remorse" because he got caught. Also, how can he tell me that he was wrong about her and it really wasnt "love" he felt for her. Really? After two yrs, no PA, it was an EA. How could he had felt all these feelings for so long and now, he gets caught and those feelings are gone?? It helped that when I told OW to stay the hell away, she did the right thing and has had NC. He is doing all the right things, and I really dont want to bring this up to him, but I just cant get these questions out of my head. I was just to easy.


"Trust but verify"

Me-44 BS
Him-44 WS
Married 18 yrs
Dday 8/25/07
two yr EA (maybe longer, maybe w/ more than one)
4 Kids 15,13,8,8


Posts: 378 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: TX
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Svs... . Hon, I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but honestly, I am somewhat glad to see this in you. You are so positive--always. And that is a good thing. I promise it is. But I think it's good for you mentally to be able to swing the bat sometimes. (Too bad I can't provide HOB's head for you to swing at!)

How do you forgive when the reality of the LTA is thrown in your face over and over?

Because if you don't, it will continue to slap you when it gets in your face. Don't let this (read "HER")have that kind of control over you. You are more than what the HOB has handed to you.

How do I move past that deep down pain when there has to be contact with the HO B@#*h? How do I live a full life when constant sucker punches come from the HO B@#*h?

Someday, when all this financial mess gets smaller...the contact with the HOB will also be less--or at least maybe less volatile (I don't know if you guys are doing anything with regard to custody/visitation). When you get the financial tornado under control, it will feel less like she's controlling YOU and you may be lucky enough to achieve indifference toward her. Because remember that while your OW is the nastiest of all vindictive whores, she is still a "nothing".

It's enough to make anyone insane.

Yes, I'm sure it is very hard. Watching what this woman (is she really a woman???) is doing to you and your family is enough to make all of us insane. I've told you, there is a special place in Hell for her...but I think Hell is too good for her.

Does this mean I will never be able to move on?

svs, you have no idea how strong you are. You are amazing to me. Truly. You will move past this, and when you do, you will be indestructable with your strength.

Is this it? My life, spent looking over my shoulder, protecting my assets, struggling for money, always?

I know it seems like that right now because it sucks. But this is not "it" for you. You wouldn't settle for "it". You have hope--you see the light at the end. You'll get there. I can feel it in my bones for you.

What can I do?

You know the answer to that, svs: Take care of you.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
25wimsey
♀ Member
Member # 7816
Default  Posted: 12:45 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

svs, run's right--you will get through this, you're strong--look at what you've survived already and are still standing! The financial stuff is tough--just one more thing to add to your traumas--and it is never-ending in a way, just has to get better with time. We gotta have hope!

One of the harder things is finding the time and strength to deal with the whys of the LTA, when the custody and visitation and financial stuff is so all-consuming. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other--and take care of yourself--and remember we're all in this together. Hugs.


Posts: 695 | Registered: Aug 2005
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:58 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Forgiveness? I don’t give forgiveness much thought. I’m simply not prepared to deal with it and, as I am a sensible, stoical and logical type of person (complete opp to my H), it is not an issue. I will say I have used the word “acceptance” with regard to his A, because it is something that happened. However much I want to (going back to the Butterfly Effect again), I cannot change history. I can’t change the timeline, the emotions or the tremblingly exciting times they had. Those memories belong to them.

Next, do I accept he is remorseful? Yes, but his remorse doesn’t change what happened or how he felt about her either. I have said I want to forgive him, but the damage runs so deep I don’t think I can. That is b/c I really do not understand why he did it unless he thought she was the one he should have married in the first place or that he didn’t love me anymore. He says he never stopped loving me, but that’s easy to say when he knows he wants to be with me now. And I wonder why he allowed it to continue for five years if he did love me, I mean, how COULD he do it? Why couldn’t he say “I love my wife and I’m not doing this anymore”?

And I am wondering just what was going through his mind last night as he got stuck in a traffic jam on the A14 at the turn off that leads to her village, the alternative route to the motorway and home. And he’s gone back the same way again this morning.

SVS, I don’t know how you do it, getting through each day must be an achievement. I assume you are getting loads of support and advice from OC thread. All I can say is that once all this is settled, court cases a thing of the past, (although she deserves to be in jail, no good POS HOB) then you can take a hold on your financial situation. Meantime, united front, keep the family close and bat the bitch as far away as poss.

Okay, another day for us all. I like that quote from Sleepless in S. Don’t mean for it to sound like a downer, but it works for me from time to time. Life goes on.

“I'm gonna get out of bed every morning. Breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out. And then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while”


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

svs. hang in there honey. Just let it out when you need to. Like I've said before, there are all degrees of this affair crap and you, 25 and others have a layer I just can't imagine coping with and you are doing it.

hefty: When was d-day - September 12-13 2005

Is your spouse remorseful? Was, isn't now.

Any counseling? 2 1/2 years of MC, 1 1/2 years of IC for me 1 year for him.

Any meds? Just went on Wellbutrin in August. Going back to doc for something for anxiety now. I hate it, every minute of it.

Back to acceptance... Maybe I can't get to either place because I lack information. See, hefty, my H told me nothing more than he was "having sex" with prostitutes and an LTAP. I found evidence to support that, but not enough to verify how many years, how many women, if there were others. He's admitted only to what I have evidence of.

So, I don't even know what to "accept". Do I accept the conventional wisdom that he's broken, flawed, really did love me, wanted our M, but couldn't break the addiction? Or do I "accept" that he did all of what he did knowingly, with forethought, malice and no regret? That the only remorse I saw was because he realized he did hurt me... but has no comprehension of how deep or how complete the damage is.

Does he "get" it? No. That kind of leans me toward #2 explanation.

He was all full of lighthearted "banter" last night when he came home... teasing, baiting and I didn't fall into any of the traps. I think he wanted to see if I'd react angrily so he knew whether I was still mad at him. It just goes so much deeper than that.

But today is another day... I'm going to the gym again, making strombolis and homemade soup for dinner.

One setback I had yesterday goes back to the incident that started us on the path to Dday... I found checks he wrote to himself for almost $1000 over the 2 weeks just before he went to AC and just after. And he still expects me to believe that the "trip" was spur of the moment... that no cash was used for the female who's sweater showed up in my car.... I mean what does he think I believe?


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
heftysmurf
♂ Member
Member # 17080
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow weepy - you nailed me with this:

"So, I don't even know what to "accept". Do I accept the conventional wisdom that he's broken, flawed, really did love me, wanted our M, but couldn't break the addiction? Or do I "accept" that he did all of what he did knowingly, with forethought, malice and no regret? That the only remorse I saw was because he realized he did hurt me... but has no comprehension of how deep or how complete the damage is."

I belive acceptance is where you understand this person did the horrible thing to me and is not really healing you or understanding what it did to you. You are moving on despite this. It is not forgiveness. I do not believe you need to forgive. You have a second choice after that. Do I move on with them or do I stay? The scenario where you gain acceptance and move on with them to me is unacceptable in my mind. Their is IMHO nothing is changed. It is almost if they got away free with no reprocusions.
I am so desperate for is genuine forgivess. It is earned where the WS does big caring understanding steps and listens and sympathizes with the BS pain. They walk in the shoes of the victim and feel it. When that happens you will see sadness and remorse and true appreciation. It requires us to be open to it as well. That is hard to be kind in some ways and be open to these actions. It requires us to put away the anger and rage so as to not push away. Hard emotions to bottle up.

Damn fog and LTA. I am afraid at times my spouse will never get it. I am willing to give more time if I see progress.

When I speak to people about my issue the most common response is "Wow, their is nothing I can say to you at all to make you feel better, nothing". That is the level of damage.

Us LTA's that try are the most loving people on earth to even attempt this. The damage is so complete that the only ones that have any understanding are our tribe members.

Weepy, I understand big time where you are at. My wife was remorseful for 3 weeks after d-day. maybe guilt? Shame. Do not know.
Now I get some not a lot. I really think her mind is way different than what I can understand.

After 2+ years I am amazed
you have not left. I do not know if I could sit waiting for it again for so very long.

Here is a big hug (())

My biggest regret in all of this is a week after d-day I wanted to seperate but did not. My spouse has now seen an ugly angry sad side of me. That is not me at all.

I believe she forgot who she loved and the wonderful person know I am.

[This message edited by heftysmurf at 7:35 AM, January 15th (Tuesday)]


BH-Me- 34 WW-Her- 29
D-Day- 11-04-07
M 6 years Together 12 years
2 YR DD WOW I love her!
LTA 6 YEARS - stolen time
Limbo. Praying for DD and our M.
In ridiculous pain. Amazed I can stand.

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: New York
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do I accept the conventional wisdom that he's broken, flawed, really did love me, wanted our M, but couldn't break the addiction? Or do I "accept" that he did all of what he did knowingly, with forethought, malice and no regret?

Weepy, this is my main struggle right now. In last weeks C'ing session, my C told me that my H has no depth - that he lives a superficial life. I cannot tell you how uneasy this has made me. And yet, for me it answers the most important question of HOW he could have lived this life for 8 years with no thought of what it would do to me or our children. It's frightening really. Is it possible to develop depth at this late stage of his life?
Warning to those who can't handle negativity right now.
I am really struggling with what I believe may very well be the truth in my situation. I am not sure if my H is capable of true love. Yes, he works at R but is it out of love or a survival instinct?
I am feeling very cautious, very self-protective after last weeks session. Our C has spent a lot of time in private sessions with my H and I feel he is really trying to get me to look at my situation with "eyes wide open." He says he believes my H loves me, "as much as he is capable" but that he is a wounded superficial man and that I if I choose to continue in this M, I may need to think about how I will have my emotional needs met. Has anyone else had a C tell you this? We have another session tomorrow and I am going to pursue this topic again.
Hugs to all who are struggling and those who are holding the rest of us up.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got back from the gym, hoping to mobilize some good endorphins and yet the mantra running through my head as I pounded the treadmill was

"How could he think it was ok for his "friend" to associate his wife with a whore and how could he think it was ok to MAKE SURE I HEARD IT."

Just hearing that guy say it was a "honorable profession" has me believing that H has no problem with the fact that he used prostitutes.

His only shame is that he cheated, not with whom he cheated. He sees no degradation in that. Where some guys think "man, I would never lower myself enough to pay for it." My H thinks "So what? It works."

Bad language coming:

FUCK him, FUCK his whores, FUCK this whole "be the better person" SHIT. FUCK medicating myself to the point of no feeling, FUCK hiding my anger, FUCK respecting him, FUCK defending him, FUCK fucking him.

THank you, I'm off now to shower. Partly to wash off the gym stink and partly to wash off the stink brought on by this crap.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
25wimsey
♀ Member
Member # 7816
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Must be the weather.

I also can't get the concept of loving one's spouse while engaging in a LTA--and wonder what kind of love they have that makes them want to stay with their BS's. Seems to me that H loves what we once had, loves me as his co-parent, loves me as the non-fantasy partner, and loves me as some unknown future relationship that we're working on now.

Wish I felt loved and accepted for right now--though if I said that to H (and I have said I don't feel loved and cherished "enough"0, he claims that he does, and he's sorry he doesn't make me feel that way.

Maybe this is part of the acceptance--he wants to be with me cuz it's reality, not fantasy, but part of that fantasy (that tremblingly exciting times they had that UKgirl talks of) will always be there, and I can't help but think it interferes with his present feelings towards me.

Again, accept that this is our R now, hope for a closer or different one as time goes by--I feel alternately resigned to this sort of feeling and hopeful that it will get more meaningful to me the further away the actual A gets from our lives.

Off to work...


Posts: 695 | Registered: Aug 2005
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs Weepy - today sucks, doesn't it? It seems that so many of us are struggling lately. I hate how much pain there is on here and how clueless and indifferent some of our S's are to the extent of our pain. They seem to be so relieved that the worst is over - but is it really?
Hang in there Weepy. We have to hold each other up. We will survive!!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the “love” my FWH had for his ex-fiancée is tied up with their “young”love, the first adolescent one that blossoms into real love, longer lasting, (four years on and off) but not destined to be permanent. A dress rehearsal. I think he went back to recapture those intense emotions and the resulting limerence that made both of them feel so good. When they were together, they were completely wrapped up in each other, besotted, infatuated, obsessed. But the whole point with limerence is that it cannot last, that state can only be maintained while it was an affair. Snatched moments and illicit encounters add fuel to those feelings and keep the A simmering. If it moved on from there, something would have to replace it because you cannot live in it when you live with the object of your limerence. However much OW was going on and on about how much she loved him, how she was dying now he was gone, how he was her life long love, it was all too much.

Even though we HB’d like crazy for months after DDay, even though he did everything asked of him and more, even though he cried like a kid (not many times, but before I’d only seen him weep silently at funerals and when our dogs were put to sleep), even though he pleaded with me to come home when I’d get in my car and disappear over the horizon, I still to this day don’t know if he loved me during those affair years. If he did, it was in a taken for granted kind of way. He’d come home to his nice home, to a cooked meal, to his kids and still have sex with and sleep next to his wife who, unfortunately, hadn’t a clue as to what he’d been up to.

Cake-eating, I believe it’s called.
F*cking arrogant, lying, cake-eating b*stard.

Edited cos I can't always type and spell at the same time!

[This message edited by UKgirl at 9:17 AM, January 15th (Tuesday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
hurtbuthappy
♀ Member
Member # 14539
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Must be the weather

I was noticing we all seem to be struggling right now. I know this time of year is particularly hard for me. Then 1 year DDay coming up, D went back to college, and I am feeling very lonely.

“I'm gonna get out of bed every morning. Breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out. And then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while”

This is great timing, I am going to tell myself this every morning until I don't have to anymore!

Although I wonder if I ever had it "great and perfect" or I just thought I did.

Love all the input on forgiveness vs. acceptance. I thought I had forgiven H just not his actions. I believe now it was simply acceptance. I agree with Weepy. Can't forgive what I don't know. Or understand.


M-25 years
2 kids

Posts: 131 | Registered: May 2007
hurtbuthappy
♀ Member
Member # 14539
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally new subject.

I hate my user name. When we first started R and I thought I knew everything, I was hurt but so happy to have a second chance at our M.

Thought I had gotten my H back and was so naive that things would/could be good again.

Then as time went on and I learned about LTA's and what we were up against. Saw that OW was not going to go away easily, and H was still keeping secrets about her. That "happy" feeling was replaced with distrust, anger, incredible hurt, and so many unanswered questions.

Now I am stuck with this user name. Have asked myself alot if I am happy or just hurt. Think it is both. I believe we had to go through the hurt to get to the happy. Still getting through it. Hope to come out on the other side someday. Make any sense to anyone?


M-25 years
2 kids

Posts: 131 | Registered: May 2007
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I don't even know what to "accept".

You may just have to start accepting that this is all you're ever going to know. What other choice do you have?

2X4: You can't force him to give you "the rest of the story". And waiting for that gives you an excuse not to move forward and do what you need to do.

At some point you're going to have to decide if you can live with what you do know, and proceed with recovery anyway--or leave and proceed with your recovery. It really boils down to that.

Not doing so is your choice to stay in limbo and stay unhappy, because unless you move, the place where you are is the place you will alway be.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


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