Well, the official time of WH bipolar Weirdness has begun, again!
Summer sucks for me too. Third one in a row. I'm so freaking exhausted.
I don't know why the summer's are the worst, but they really, really are.
Imagine him as an alcoholic or addict and then figure what you would do if that were the problem instead.
See, right now, he's not HIS problem, he's YOUR problem. He won't get serious about treatment until that changes.
[This message edited by Phoenix3711 at 11:33 AM, June 30th (Thursday)]
Hang in there. He is his problem. You are your problem. Fix your problem and see what happens.
It seems like he has these memory black outs and am just wondering how many others have also experienced this?
Lastly: Is it genuine?
My SAfWH is also BiPolar 2. He was included in a double blind study which resulted in him being prescribed Effexor XR ONLY. He has had good results. But for almost a week he has been without them, a prescribing snafu. His mania is evident. He is happy, funny, etc. Of course what goes up must come down. The trouble is that the doctor he'll see on Fri is a NEW psych. A resident who he has never met. I don't know whether or not he'll just prescribe the same meds and dose or want to fool around. He sees a separate very good IC for his real "work.
I KNOW that AD aren't usually given alone for BP2. And I also realize that, although I haven't seen this UP side of the mania (I love it) I did see the bad, angry, nasty side of it for years. That anger subsided almost entirely with the medicine use.
Does anyone else have any experience with JUST AD being an effective treatment for BP2? And I guess my other question is, how do we preserve that part of the mania that is positive? Or is that a dream?
An update on my WH, he's increased his lithium and added an AD finally! He's really stable right now and finally found a therapist for IC, he will go once a week. So, he's following through with everything he promised, but we will see how long it lasts. I'm freakin a mess though, definitely depressed. I guess it's time to call my IC and get my butt back in therapy.
My h also has horrific memory issues. Really frustrating for trying to reconstruct an A timeline. I have read online that there is a connection between bipolar and
Temporal lobe disorder, which messes with memories.
I really like pendulum.org. It's a great support for those who love a bipolar.
Hang in there everyone.
how do we preserve that part of the mania that is positive? Or is that a dream?
It's a dream. It's the dream that leads bipolars to stop their meds. One of the most dangerous dreams out there.
Because NOTHING is better than the positive mania. But it never lasts. Watch "Limitless" with Robert DeNiro and Bradley Cooper. It's a nice depiction of the experience of positive mania.
I have memory problems. Hey -- maybe I'll forget my husband cheated on me for 6 years!
Yeah, I think memory problems and bipolar go together. I forget all sorts of things everyone else remembers. I think there is a pattern though: I think it's emotionally significant memories that we forget. As in, if the bipolar wasn't in just the right frame of mind emotionally at the time the event occurred then he/she won't remember it. Like, in Oct. 2005 I got pregnant and then had a miscarriage. I can remember being in the kitchen talking to my WH about the positive pregnancy test and him saying he was "cautiously optimisitic" (it was my 4th pregnancy with only one live child) but I don't remember having the actual miscarriage later that month. So, yes, even big things can be forgotten.
...and then he/we started a trial of a new med, Viibryd. The major issue forever in my fWH's satisfaction with his medication regimen is that the one med in the cocktail he takes which dramatically improves things w/o negative MOOD side effects is Lexapro. But of course, this would be the med that has huge sexual side effects which really wear on him and ultimately makes him feel really depressed/resentful/desperate/etc. Thus, we continue on our quest for the Holy Grail. I don't say that facetiously; I'd love for there to be a good substitute for the Lexapro, sex is less satisfying all around if only one partner is getting satisfied IYKWIM.
So this trial w/Viibryd started about 5 weeks ago, and for the past 3 weeks he's been at the 40mg "therapeutic dosage". The Lexapro dosage has been getting cut back, and my fWH is morphing into Mr. Hyde, or should I say has morphed. I have gone from being quite content to feeling about 175-degrees from that emotion. Of course the H I can talk to, who listens to me, is gone....the body snatcher that remains doesn't see any problem at all. In other words, the manic-y asshole I really dislike a LOT.
He's irritable: I'm always on his case, he delivers edicts to the kids at the dinner table, I hear lots of "I hate" statements, etc.
He's spent innumerable hours either working on one of the wood boats he's made in previous years or else frigging with a broken door latch on his beloved Volvo wagon (well call it, "Christine"). I mean days upon days on that door latch issue, getting ever more frustrated. He won't take it to a guy who works on Volvos (esp. older ones) who could have it done, and done right, for probably $100 or less. Nooooo. So, not only has he not been doing other things that need to be done around here, he's also drained two batteries because somehow the electric door locking system is screwed up now (don't ask me how he managed that...but I can hear the pulsing sound, if that makes sense). I'm actually very mechanically inclined and good at this sort of real-life puzzle, but my help/advice/anything is not welcome with this guy.
We have counseling tonight and I swear it cannot come fast enough. I feel at my wit's end. Issues that we'd worked hard in MC to achieve peace on have re-emerged. Meanwhile, both my teenagers are in very depressed moods (both carry the depression dx; I wish I knew back before getting pregnant what I know now in terms of what was getting carried on our genes, because I adore my kids and am thankful for them, but feel badly to have brought someone into the world only to be afflicted with something as burdensome as depression). I'm in a depressed mood. I feel like running up the driveway and not looking back at times, and probably needless to say, a lot of fWH's recent behavior is very triggery.
I'm sorry to ramble on and on. I just needed to get this out; though I have a great IC (thank God for that!!) he doesn't have a BP spouse, and like understanding the BS experience, it's different when you've lived it.
I hope fWH will listen to reason tonight and agree to get in asap to his psych dr. and get off the Viibryd and go back up on the Lexapro before we really and truly hit my breaking point or he does something rash and stupid that rains trouble down on us.
[This message edited by sad12008 at 2:35 PM, February 9th (Thursday)]
I can't go through it either...happy I moved far away.