Ditto about those horrible "Power Drinks"!
FWH just started taking it and I am praying that it controls his mania because they are becoming worse and worse. He is also on ADs.
My H is probably the most intelligent person I know, but he will not admit the diagnosis, nor submit to medication.
The cyclical symptoms including withdrawal from family (I've raised our boys to be “spoiled assholes”), the irritability and 0 to 60 rages, the buying, even more so when we can't afford it and the obsessive research that goes into every purchase, weird sleep patterns, overeating, the A, talking over others, passive-aggressive (avoidance) behavior, and his very own variation, the “silent treatment” – we're at a week now of not a damned word spoken between us. And it's the third? fourth? of this pattern in about 2 months, which shouldn't surprise me, since the fall and the holidays are historically when he ramps up.
What I've become accustomed to all these years I now know is not normal, and not healthy. Even in past years when I was going crazy trying to figure it out and deal with him and his fallout, I felt it was just us not communicating, and we had to work harder. Well, he's trained me better than the dog. I've learned to reciprocate the silent treatment; nothing else works until he's ready to break it.
This will be the deal breaker, not the A. I cannot put my kids through this any longer, and I find myself wondering what a relationship with someone who doesn't have this affliction would be like.
Are you in IC?
I knew my wife was borderline NPD. But, the MC said there is a very good chance that she is Bipolar. This threw me for a huge loop. Both of her Paternal Grandparents were Bipolar.
She doesn't want help for it...Therapy or Counseling i her parents eyes is a flaw.
Starting in late summer, we had about 10 great weeks. He got energy and libido back, started to lose the weight he'd put on (at 6' he'd gotten to almost 200#s, which was crazy for him), got really into cycling, got connected with me and the family, etc. Still had some of the sexual dysfunction issues, though. Overall, looking like the old him and I felt happier than I had in ages.
Then, out of the blue, things changed at his work. He'd been in the position about 5 months, working with a terrific team who all got along great, really good working hours, a lot of flexibility, great pay. One day he came home saying they were hearing rumors that his employer contracted out his department.
Sure enough, he learned within a month this would happen. He's been hired by the new contractor; however, his pay dropped 11%, his cool coworkers all left, and now he's the only guy available to do what used to be done by 3 professionals. He's running like a gerbil on a wheel all day, every day. I know he's not happy, and I can certainly understand why.
But here we go again. He's going down again; he's retreating, he's not connecting with me the way he was, he's spending more time with the kids than with me, he's stopped exercising completely (at first explainable due to his late returns home and rain, but he's not even cycling on the recumbent bike we have at home!), etc. etc.
I just need a place where I can cry and say I am so tired of this!!! He got his testosterone level checked this week (first follow-up bloodwork since start of therapy) and it was double what the max should be, so they halved his dose (and what's that going to do to his energy and affect?); he's been trying to lower his Lexapro but the dr. said to bump it temporarily up 10mg; but meanwhile....
I just feel him turning into the person I don't like, the person who is disconnected and pretty self-centered and obtuse and whose presence I find myself resenting.
We'd been doing pretty decent on the R thing, but this feels like a big set-back, a big fat reminder that "that person" is still in there, and it's making me feel SO sad. I hope someone on this thread can understand.
I'm so exhausted. This marriage has absolutely worn me out. I thought after meds, things would get better, and they have to a large degree, but I thought it would be the end of the affairs too, NOT.
Now I don't know what is bipolar behavior, whether my husband is capable of fidelity, or whether he just uses this as an excuse or if it is a habit or what???
Thanks for listening. My last d day was last Tuesday. I really thought between the meds, the therapy and everything else we were on track.
WH is unmedicated bipolar. He had a psychiatrist appointment made for tomorrow, Nov 30. He's shown symptoms for years, highs then lows. He's in a manic currently. It was a double dose trigger. First it was seeing his mother (always triggers him, she is also bipolar) and then the death of his biological father.
It's been a rough 2 months. The hope that I held onto was knowing that he would be seen by someone who could help him, get him on meds. He told me this evening that he cancelled the appointment and didn't make another. In our area, that means another 2+ month long wait ONCE he makes another. He said he's not ready. This in his speak means that he doesn't want to hear the truth. He has always resented his mother's issues and now that he has been told that he suffers from the same, he prefers to ignore rather than treat.
I've lost hope. There was a light there and it was so very close and it's gone.
So... onward with the plans to put our house for sale in June and divorce. Every day that passes brings me closer to the outcome I don't want but if he's refusing to get help, what else can I do?
Liberation day: May 20, 2010
R began: November 20, 2011
He blew it up: Feb 6, 2014
WH is fully stabilized by adding Abilify to his Lamictal. We're 2.5 months into the adjustment and he says he feels better than he ever has in his life.
My husband has been suffering from bipolar disorder since he was 13 years old. Through two major manic episodes this illness has been diagnosed after 7 years of marriage and ultimately 7 years of turmoil. My husbands bipolar is a very severe case with psychosis. He also has had two affairs and has showcased every symptom in the book.
All this I had to deal with while still in college and in a foreign country, not knowing anything about this disease and as someone pointed out becoming almost bipolar myself.
Please when someone tells you that the divorce rate is almost one hundred percent do not believe them...
There are those who survive, go on and have a family..
My husband has fully recovered since, we had our first baby, he is successful and works every day hard to make up for the manic mistakes he made.
Our meds are lithium, lamictal and seroquel.
Not all bipolars do think that way. My husband hates disorder and chaos and he hates being manic and what mania makes him become. He is very afraid of being there again.
He has made sure he has plenty of supplies of meds so he does not forget it anywhere he goes, he has them with him just like a heart patient or cancer patient.
When his Psych added Abilify to his Lamictal in October, he was shocked at the difference he felt.
But, he is NOW having problems sleeping again. He has a diagnosed sleep disorder and takes a form of Levadopa normally given to Parkinson's patients for it. It helps his Psych condition because lack of sleep is directly related to ability to control the cycling. Since adding the Abilify, his Levadopa meds are no longer working as they were and he's struggling to sleep again. The Abilify works on Dopamine as Levadopa does and he's afraid the 2 are conflicting now.
He's headed back to his Psych after just seeing him a week ago because the sleep situation did not get better when the baby started sleeping and not sleeping will rapidly deteriorate his Bipolar status on him.
Now, he does not crave mania. But, for years after the Lamictal started limiting those highs, he did crave them, crave them to the point he would blame me when he would fail to cycle after starting to head up because I made him take the meds and the meds stopped his cycling.
Has anyone heard of a spouse faking BP to use as an excuse for why they had an A? Just curious my wife has been diagnosed with BP2 and that seems to have come out of nowhere. Just wondering cause it reminds of when she got caught stealing money she was conveniently diagnosed with BP1 and used that as an excuse.
What makes you think she might be "faking" it?
Anyway, my doc got me stable and I've been that way for years. there are many BP people who *don't* like feeling manic and sick, trust me.