Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: mexico (43213)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs -V I I
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oops, did I do that?


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep! And that's why we love ya FSA!! A B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L rant!!! And who the hell is going to get the 2X4's on you with ranting against OW here? Not me!
FSA!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA - the only 2X4s that I am getting out is to build you a podium to shout from...you are the best!!

Kelsey - Welcome to the tribe sorry you are here.

Everyone - been gone today missed what 3 pages? Will try to catch up soon.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I didn't mind ranting on ow. Just losing my beautiful high that I've been riding.

Damn the PMS and LTA. It's just unbeatable.

IC ought to see my ow rant. Last night at her office we visited more than anything b/c I was doing so good we really couldn't find much to work on. She even asked me if I needed to come anymore. ?????? So far all my hour sessions have lasted about an hour and a half. Last night after about 45 minutes she had me headed out the door. Boy did I have her fooled or what???


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
unabletocope
♀ Member
Member # 11730
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome Kelsey.

Love the rant, FSA!!!!!

I know this is childish, but I hope she has had the most miserable fucking life possible.


I have never "hated" anyone like I do her. If there is a God who deals out justice, she will get hers..somehow, someway.

Amen!!!!!!!!


me-LTA BW


Posts: 2598 | Registered: Aug 2006
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have never "hated" anyone like I do her. If there is a God who deals out justice, she will get hers..somehow, someway.
With the way I'm feeling right now, if only a few ow could be sent to my house tonight I could dole out that justice real easy. But she'd never ever choose to be an ow again!!!!


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

who the hell is going to get the 2X4's on you with ranting against OW here?

Not me either.....

LTAs are the mother-load of 2x4s.
And we all have already been there....done that.

It's "Let your hair or hormones down -Friday night"

Let 'er rip....

FSA....good job, very good job.
I too wouldn't mind if some OW of members here are lurking. Not that there would be any epiphanies of conscience...this isn't Oz, after all.

But if they are a few low-lifes STILL trying to peek in the windows of any BS's lives who are here....go back and read FSA'a message. It is all about your contribution to society. How proud you must be.....


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, this crowd is really going! And I missed it while it was hot!!!

Yeah, it goes against my religous beliefs and all the advice I got from my IC/friends/relatives, BUT I *hate* the OW in my case, too. I don't care if she ever clues in here to who I am, because if she does she will just see that she is as unwanted here as she is by her own H
The OW in my case continued to pursue my H in the midst of several family crisis, and I just can't even think about forgiving her or even feeling sorry for her. Nope. And while I'm at it, I'm sickened by the rest of the OWs described by our LTA tribe. SO, how's that? I've got a lot of venom for little ol' me.....

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
up2me
♀ Member
Member # 10681
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the POS SOW in my case would love the validation of a Restraining Order. i hate that stalking whore!!!

Posts: 690 | Registered: May 2006 | From: ny
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now girls, I'm calming down. Maybe the 2 xanax I took might have something to do with it, I don't know?

But I'm going to start something back up that I think we all DESERVE. And that is a tribal meeting.

I say we settle on somewhere in the middle of the states. If you happen to live really close, just consider yourself lucky. I would so love to do this. We could all have a hoot. A bunch of us women, who know each other even if only through cyber space.

Think about it. I promise I will be game. FSA needs to spread her wings and get out of hicktown for a little while. Maybe ya'll can show me a night in the city I know I'll never forget.

OTC Miss organizer, ????????

And one more thing I would like to say to any ow who have been lurking. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
That's the whole tribe laughing at your stupidity. Dumb Ass.


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am game for a tribal meeting. More than game....it probably is a needed rite of passage.

Oh....just thought I would share this during our vent-fest.

I now picture the parking lot BJ queen as.....

****A human PEZ DISPENSER...a reverse one ****

Her head just had to hinged backwards from all the car/parking lot action.

It's a visual that releases a lot of venon.


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still like to visualise a stick shift up snaggletooth's butt. But she probably enjoyed that.


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I won't share my visions of the diseased SOW with all of you. You'd probably have me committed! But they would probably rival a Stephen King story.

OK, I admit it. I've dropped the ball on the LTA gathering. I have to say, if you all came to Chicago I could do this very easily. Even picking up at the airport, getting you around the city, etc. May in Chicago is awesome! March or April is still kind of wintery here, but we could still muster up some fun! And it's cheap and central for everyone to get to. I was also thinking of New Orleans too because I love it there and think we could have a gas! I think BT is there and I know my way around there a bit. Thoughts?


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I start this new job my schedule is going to be really messed up and I won't have a lot of flexibility on when to take off.

So, I would love you guys to come to NO. And that would be easy for FSA, too.

My house isn't very big, but I could definitely host some dinners/gab fests.

If we decide to go elsewhere, I will do my best to get there.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, BT...
My house isn't very big, but I could definitely host some dinners/gab fests.

My H would run for the hills if I invited over the LTA tribe! He's not very social and totally paranoid, as it is! If your FWS can handle that, he could handle anything.

I don't know if would be able to make a meeting, but I sure would try. Hard to get away from the kids, though. Too bad they are not a little bit older. Teenager barely notice if you are gone, right? Mine still cry when I leave for work in the morning....

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, January 4th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is very supportive now, but I don't know that he's that supportive. He would probably find somewhere to disappear to while you ladies were here.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:15 AM, January 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn! I missed a good session last night!Arrgghh...

BT, you are an Aries (the BEST sign in the Zodiac!), and your H looks GM??!! Wow.
Mum and I are def in awe.
Now I have ditch your Susan Sarandon avatar, and recast you!

Seriously though, I'm sorry we triggered you BT. Truely.

Now you guys are getting me jealous about you all meeting up. I dont suppose you will consider this side of the Atlantic, would you?

FSA, sometimes you reach a plateau in IC, and you feel that theres nothing else to go into. Your IC should know that. Do you know what school of therapy she follows? Last question (and I ask this because I have done this in the past), are you holding out on her because you are worried about disappointing her?

I also was thinking of OW last night.More specifically, if H triggers about her. He doesnt ever tell me if he triggers. So I dont know if we are listening to a song or whatever, and it triggers him, and he is sitting there next to me, thinking about her.
So last night he admitted that he does trigger but he quickly shuts down his thoughts. He doesnt "go there".
He NEVER talks about the A (unless I bring it up). Its like for him it never happened .


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
kelsey913
♀ Member
Member # 17605
Default  Posted: 5:59 AM, January 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanted to join in on the vent fest last night but H was in the room and wanted to know what I was typing. I told him "nothing" and left it at that, so he walks over to read. Is he sorry that he did that! He said "I thought we don't keep secrets from one another" Oh Okay, here comes a vent hubby dear. And for the first time, I ripped her a new ahole to him. He then politely responded with "I'm sorry, you're right, you needed some space."

Okay, Ladies, I know this must have been discussed many times but for this newbie, indulge me please. I have this overwhelming need to go knock on the ow's door. I really feel like I have unfinished business with her. I have things to say to her. I know my husband broke his vows and all of that but she was a willing participant. He told her that he was with me for my children. Did I mention that my children are men! Duh! A big part of me doesn't think that I will be able to move on unless I confront her. I thought about calling but I need to look her in the eye. Also, I think calling will give her an advantage. I have felt like this from day one and keep telling myself to think about it tomorrow to see if the urge will subside. No luck thus far. Tell me what you gals think about this.

LostHeart, my H said almost the same thing last night, that the A seems so long ago and that it feels like it was all a dream, yeah, my nightmare. My H, too, will only speak of the A if I bring it up.


Me - BS
Him - WH
5 Yr LTA
D-Day 8/5/07
Married 28 Years
R

Posts: 90 | Registered: Jan 2008
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, January 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know this is childish, but I hope she has had the most miserable fucking life possible.

I love it when BT steps down and gets into it! And BT, if I were you, I'd stay away from the new show "Eli Stone". George Michael apparently appears in it and I think "Faith" is the theme song.

I "know" his OW had a miserable life. And lucky (?) me I also know she had a miserable death. I only wish she'd had herpes, HIV and an itchy twat when she did.

How about some dream analysis guys. We went to MC last night and I broke down telling her about what woke me at 4 AM. I'd related it to H rather calmly on the way in, so I'm sure he was surprised to see me fall apart telling her. As a matter of fact, he said "I thought things were going really well, just shows how clueless I am." But he said it snarky, you know. Not with his heart.

Anyway, we were going to renew our vows but I kept using "remarried" in the dream... in Vegas. Our whole families were going with us. H was procrastinating in his usual PA method, lying on the bed watching tv with only 40 minutes until our flight. My wedding dress got ruined (stained with blood and makeup) when I took it off in a public restroom (don't know reasoning for that). Especially since there were a bunch of other women in there... whores for the most part. Near the end, I went to the lobby to call a cab to take us to the airport and to get back to my room there was an obstacle course, ladders, heights, tiny walkways to cross over an abyss. I wake as I'm trying to walk over one of the planks to the elevator.

My take... that I want to commit to this M. But there are all these obstacles in the way... H's attitude, the other women, my fears, obstacles.

H said this was the first he was hearing that I had all these fears still. He called it "nonsense" and told me he got "annoyed" when I questioned his integrity or honesty. She told him that was the reason I wasn't sharing because he diminished my feelings and I didn't feel "safe" enough to talk to him. His reaction... that was my problem. So I'm going ahead with the plan to bring the list to MC. Show her my "obstacles". Let her guide us through them. IF she can. I'm having doubts about her reaching H.

One odd thing... she mentioned something about us having more time together over the holidays and I told her it felt like "less" because H was always watching tv. He said it was my fault for buying him the DVDs in the first place.

So I'm apparently controlling his life again.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, January 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kelsey. Not advisable, understandable, but no. Donít go round there. You donít know what she might do or say, you donít know whoís going to answer the door. You donít know how youíre going to react. You may think you do, but you donít. I had OW turn up on my doorstep a few months after DDay. I reckon she thought I didnít know about the A and that my FWH was only saying I knew so he could stop seeing her. Smoke, mirrors and lies and all that. Well, she stands there with some ďstuffĒ she wants to be rid of (why didnít she just bin it then?) and goes to give it to me. On the top is an envelope with my Hís childhood address on it that she had kept for 30-odd years containing his poetry (that again, groan). I told her twice I didnít want it, it was nothing to do with me and I simply shut the door in her face. She didnít know what to do. Up and down the path a few times, up and down the road too. In the end she put the ďstuffĒ on the doorstep and walked away. However, she waited at the end of the road for his return from taking #3 son to work.

What Iím saying is YOU could end up feeling the frustrated idiot on the doorstep and she could be triumphant in your apparent loss of dignity. You confronting her will give her an excuse to whine about how nasty you are (yes, OW said that about me after ONE text telling her to f*ck off). Keep your dignity and donít give her the attention she doesnít deserve. Cold, stony silence is best.

Edit to say to Weepy:
Chuck the tv out and get out the strip poker!!

[This message edited by UKgirl at 7:10 AM, January 5th (Saturday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.