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User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 3
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, January 27th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When it's a WH - he's morally corrupt. When it's a WW - it must be the husband's fault.

I read almost the exact same thing...
from the wimmen!
If a WH = "sowing oats"
If a WW = "whore" (morally corrupt).

Either way, and I've had it both ways on the chin, it's missing the point:

society doesn't help a lot either

Ever seen "Meet John Doe"?
"Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"?
(there are others with similar themes)

Advertising works, or they wouldn't do it.
Hugh Hefner & James Bond have been around for quite awhile in other incarnations.
Maybe tarnations, but I digress...
It is when the power of mass information-distribution was harnessed, that the making of money from the bleakness of the human heart went into overdrive. On steroids as it were.

We are in the forest and can't see it for the trees.

In our lives, decades-long exposure to advertising has had its effect; numbing the sensibilities. Hardening the heart.
Making acceptable what is abhorrent.
A slippery slope indeed.
A worldwide plague.

It is strange to me to feel these things. I think I have become strange. Strange to the world.
And then I think, that's ok...because imo, the world's a stinkin sewer of filth and corruption, so strangely, I embrace the way I feel.
We hear "I want to die" once in awhile, and it's sad and hard, and we don't want that.
Ever hear anybody say "I want to be blind" ?
I do, I think.
Sometimes I just want to be blind, but that wouldn't help really...cause then my ears would hear earth's groaning in travail even louder (and i don't want to have to go all vincent on em), and my nose would smell the sewer sharper.

Funny thing.

We're getting close to the beginning of a throw down.
I refuse to let the lack of character of an adulteress diminish me. Change me? Ok. Here I am. "Whatev baby!"

For a better cause, above me me me...for a reason and hope,
and for some shit-talkin fun, THINK!

Where would you be w/out SI?

Place your bets.


Posts: 5997 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, January 27th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually jjct that wasn't what I was saying at all. My point was when it comes to the Divorce, WH have no legs to stand on. Everything is split from the M in half. Due to the fact of no fault states, its handled like a business transaction. So if the WW hasn't been pulling the load of 50/50 when it comes to the financals, she is still entitled to half. But when you add children to the mix thats where it becomes increasing in a WW favor. Not only is the WW entitiled to alimony if appliciple, but also custody and child support. Its an uphill battle anyway you slice it and far from fair.

A WH has everything to loose if it comes to D. A WW has a security blanket built right in through the court system. A WH has made a calculated risk to cheat, with very much the possiblity of loosing it all. A WW on the other hand has the benifit of still taking the BH to the cleaners, to punish them.

It cost me:

My Business that I built from scratch, and made into something. Had to liquidate that during D because the WW wanted half of the appraised value.

My Home, the one I had before I ever met my WW. I haven't seen a penny from the equity on that, because the WW hasn't put forward the effort to sell it. Also add in the cabin that I bought during the early years of M. I cashed in Stocks I had to pay for that place, spent all of my own money rebuilding it. WW got half of the equity in it, not spending a single dime.

Retirement funds raided, savings accounts depleated.

Not to mention all the money I put into the household as the single breadwinner for 7 years of a 10 year M, paying for my WW school loans, and lifestyle.

I was left jobless, homeless, with less then 1000bucks to my name. Everything I owned stuck in a 15x15 storage locker. I had more money in my savings account when I was 14!

My WW knew what she was doing, it was a calculated gamble. With the house totally stacked against me. No checks and balances for thier actions. Its an easy win when you got nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

I won't even get into custody of my son, because thats a whole other battle.

Something is very wrong with the system that rewards WW's.


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
ThatWasFun
♂ Member
Member # 21110
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, January 27th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW knew what she was doing, it was a calculated gamble. With the house totally stacked against me. No checks and balances for their actions. Its an easy win when you got nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
Bingo! And this shit will continue until men organize and demand changes in the law. Until that happens, any man who marries without a pre-nup is is taking a big, dangerous risk.


This, too, shall pass.

Posts: 568 | Registered: Oct 2008
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, January 27th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pre nups sound great on the surface but think about it:

1. Their are ways to find loopholes in anything, especially as time goes by. No matter what assets are covered by the Pre-nup, they are still subject to marritial growth and interest as M goes on. All your entitled to is the initial value when the prenup is drawn up.

2. If your going to get M, and a prenup is something thats needed. One has to ask themselves why are they getting M in the first place. Its already putting terms and conditions on the possiblity of the M failing. After all the whole point of M is about till death do ya part. Why start M under a shadow.

I personally will never M again, that was a one time deal. I have lost the idea of M in modern society. I personally don't think its workable, given the circumstances of resposiblity. I can love and honor my SO for the rest of my life no problem. I don't see what M gives me, but I do see what can be taken away. I rebuilt my life, got on solid ground with my own 2 hands. Own my own home again, all my vehicles, and owe no one anything (Minus ongoing attorney fees.) So if my live in SO decideded that M is the only way of commitment, theres the door. Because simply Im not going to subject myself again to starting from nothing. I don't need some tradition that has proven to be abused and used to better the women of the species, under the guise of more commitment. I don't need a fairytale of a perfect wedding to prove this to me. Marriage is over rated, and if shit goes sour the groom is paying the price. Not for me...


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, January 27th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

prenup's not worth the paper it's on...wish it were a different world. Nope. A man's word, a handshake, is not enough. A piece of paper, not enough. When a vow before God is not enough?
Nothing then is enough.
nothing!
is enough.
TT))))
brother, I had to go back... - I was just reversing the concept - just taking a different...
hey, a 180-take on it!
Seeing things from the broke and struggling SAHM's-side.
The one's that supported their WH thru school, and were abandoned and abused when WH gradiated & made the big time. The WH who landed the plush digs, the suckratary squeeze & kicked the faithful W to the curb.
(Who now find themselves juggling time to manage minimum-wage and 3 kids alone)

Or the one whose H saw the inheritance coming from the dying uncle, the BW found panties on the new speedboat, and has no explanation - H's new money helped him disappear!
but she has the kids and the bills and....

Sometimes, BWs have no legs to stand on either. Sometimes the matrix is like pounding a nail with the heel of a shoe. It can be done, but it's often a mess for the nail, the shoe AND the wall...

Seems nowadays, what everyone thinks (the trees), just the opposite - the 180 is true.

Since what you're going through is beyond my ability to comprehend, and I end up most times sitting around in gaping awe,
I have abandoned hope of some "better world"
this is too hard a place my friend -
and rather blindly await, hoping and praying for another better one.

I'll live in a mud hut, in a cave, under a dam rock - expecting no justice and only capricious mercy from the matrix,
trying to find and write the words of the next world. My forever happy place.
signed,
Don Q., retired


Posts: 5997 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, January 27th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I will add this:

Or the one whose H saw the inheritance coming from the dying uncle

That was my WW drive in the end, parents inheritance, shes getting 20k a month free and clear. None of that has any issue with Child support. Thats my reality thats how it is. She can hire the best lawyers to take me to task over my son, stack the odds in her favor to make sure she has control on the only string she has left.

SAHM's had a luxury, no doubt about it, to take care of their kids. That was their desicion plain and simple. Their WH cheating on them wasn't, but they get the courts on their side to make sure through alimony, and CS to raise the children. In todays society being a SAH anything is a luxury. I supported my WW through school while working 70-80 hours a week. I had to rebuild a life from nothing, yet still pay my WW CS and hope for a shread of custody while she lives the life of luxury. I never got the cards of being a stay at home parent, I would consider that a big time luxury to do so.


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
Jimi40
♂ Member
Member # 10909
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Surely the law makers must see this! It happens every fucking day. Dude works his butt off, supports family, mom stays home and fucks everything that has a dick. They can't possibly be blind to this. Can they?


You've got nowhere to fall, when your back's to the wall.

Posts: 5524 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Niagara
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They can't possibly be blind to this. Can they?

Nope - they are not. The laws are designed to protect the kids and nobody else. With that, I agree! <even though I am getting the short stick>


I firmly believe that young kids (up to about 13-14) need to be with their mothers if they are sane and all else being equal.

The children did not choose to nuke the M/family and thus should be impacted as little as possible.

The price us bros must pay for the misgivings of our big bros from the past.


-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9144 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I firmly believe that young kids (up to about 13-14) need to be with their mothers if they are sane and all else being equal.

This is all good given a straight run of the mill, parents both decided on the D kinda Divorce.

But lets delve into the reality of the situations we as BH have been placed into. There is something amiss with this way of thinking. The court system has set up through no fault a societal fo pah, where every case is handled the same. The best intrest of children is not taken into account. We as men are told to shut up and pay.

The very act of infidelity the WW has chosen not to put her family first. WW lack the critical thinking skills, and the ablity to make sound decisions for their family and children. They have proven themselves unable to make sound decisions/judgment to act as selfish indivduals that chase the thrill of self gratification. Frankly they are unable to know whats best for themselves, let alone the ability to soundly parent.

The 0-12 year range is the most shaping time of childs life. Do you think a parent that cannot think beyond themselves, chasing the next more fucked up them partner of the month is best?

I don't in the least bit. The fact of the matter is family courts are set up misandry. They base the belief off of a rudimentry understanding that the mother is the best parent since she gave birth. Nowhere in their believe is proven past character flaws, the ablity to parent, whats best for the child. Instead its the universal one size fits all lets split it down the middle, children need a mom more then a dad, dad you get everyother weekend, heres your CS due.

Sorry Im not going to take this laying down, I want whats best for my son. His mother has proven time and time again of her unfitness as a parent. Mom has proven the person she is, she simply doesn't have the abilty to teach my son the important facts of life... Honesty, integrity, sympathy, and the abilty to own ones actions. I will fight to the bitter end, because I know what it right for my son!


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no TT))))
You missed it! The part where I wish I was blind!

This has happened to me.
Right here!
Do you not know this?
This has humbled me to the core of my being, and like t2g says, when you see a noob postin in jfo>
Fuck. Took me months to get back there!
How humbling is it to see that SAHM FAITHFUL ONE suffer.
No.
There are the most incredible people here!
People I TRUST!
because they have shown me more,
than a lifetimne of stories could contain!

I have ONE lifetime.
THIS ONE!

I Plan to make it all I can!
SI is where I've come to heal.
(and live)


Posts: 5997 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
ThatWasFun
♂ Member
Member # 21110
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TwiceTorn wrote:

1. Their are ways to find loopholes in anything, especially as time goes by.

A good pre nup written by a good lawyer is hard to get around.
No matter what assets are covered by the Pre-nup, they are still subject to maritial growth and interest as M goes on. All your entitled to is the initial value when the prenup is drawn up.
Which is still a hell of a lot better than the raping that most men get in a divorce.

2. If your going to get M, and a prenup is something thats needed. One has to ask themselves why are they getting M in the first place. Its already putting terms and conditions on the possiblity of the M failing. After all the whole point of M is about till death do ya part. Why start M under a shadow.
Do you have insurance on your car? Why? Are you expecting to be in an accident? I'd guess not, you're just responsible enough to recognize that it could happen, no matter how careful a driver you are. A pre nup is no different. And the odds of needing a pre nup are far, far higher than the odds of needing your car insurance. 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. 70% of all second marriages do. The legal system is totally stacked against men. A man who marries without a pre nup is more foolish and irresponsible than a man who drives with no car insurance.

I personally will never M again, that was a one time deal. I have lost the idea of M in modern society. I personally don't think its workable, given the circumstances of responsiblity. I can love and honor my SO for the rest of my life no problem. I don't see what M gives me, but I do see what can be taken away. I rebuilt my life, got on solid ground with my own 2 hands. Own my own home again, all my vehicles, and owe no one anything (Minus ongoing attorney fees.) So if my live in SO decided that M is the only way of commitment, there's the door. Because simply I'm not going to subject myself again to starting from nothing. I don't need some tradition that has proven to be abused and used to better the women of the species, under the guise of more commitment. I don't need a fairytale of a perfect wedding to prove this to me. Marriage is over rated, and if shit goes sour the groom is paying the price. Not for me...
Can't argue with that at all.


This, too, shall pass.

Posts: 568 | Registered: Oct 2008
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

meaning:
I am blind to you all.
These are just cyber)))) between us.
There are more honorable people here in one place, than i have met in my lifetime.
So you are real.

Even though I don't see you and I'm blind,
doesn't mean I don't hear you and your stories,
and recognize kind!

SI's a perfect sigh for me. What can I say about SI?
Maybe this, then, hasn't been said in this way.

But it's the story of a golden thread to me.
Where true ones
meet true ones.

I have really begun to see a golden thread of truth throughout this whole thing! The ones that hurt me most, are the ones where satan exults! Where the WS is hooked-up in the church.
And the ones where children hurt.
Bofem.

Ramblin i guess, Place your BETS???????????

ps
anyone wanna play chess?
10 bucks to the winner!
pm me
pussies!


Posts: 5997 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey That)))))))))
what's the percentage on the 3rd M?
LOL!
Lower?
No shit?

Unless GOD HISSELF plunks her down in front of me,
I aint TOUCHIN that thing!

The truth is, Adam made a choice.
Eve was the one who was deceived.
Is a fundamental dif.
tween the G's.

I seize it.
It seizes me.


Posts: 5997 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The truth is, Adam made a choice.
Eve was the one who was deceived.
Is a fundamental dif.
tween the G's.

Maybe you should re-read it. Eve tempted Adam with an apple. Because she had a hidden agenda away from god.

But thats neither her nor their and is a story pasted down through word of mouth way before it was written down. I did take theoligy in collage, and was raised catholic.

Im really kinda confused from your responses jjct. Are you telling me that a betrayed SAHM goes through or equal to what a BH does? Because in the end they do get to have custody of their children, do recieve CS and alimony, if it ends in divorce. If they can only get a minimum wage job then how in the hell did they pay for their WH schooling and day to day living back then? I think it fully possible for a SAHM back into the job force to get an equal paying job that a BH can get. The whole idea your presenting saying that a SAHM is only educated enough to get a minimum paying job is in itself vary degrading! Most of the SAHM I have seen on these boards are very educated and have the ablity to provide for their families.

Your talking oranges to the apples Im talking about. My apples are very much about the way the justice system doesn't see as us BH's we are grouped into the same as a WH. One size fits all. Do you jjct have children? I wanna hear about your horse in this race that Im talking about.


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, January 28th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tend to agree with TwiceTorn on the vagaries of the legal system.

(I can't believe I'm about to tell this story.)

If you'll recall, my wife's xOM was my best friend. He also had a cheating slut wife who left him for *her* OM about 4 years prior to his affair with my wife. They had 3 kids. They agreed to a 50/50 custody split...which meant, in reality, that he had the kids 5 days a week (at least).

She threatened him every time she turned around with taking him back to court and getting CS, because her lawyer told her that even with a 50/50 split, she was entitled to it and could get it -- despite the fact that she made more money than he did.

About 2 years after their divorce...when she had failed consistently to live on her own means, she moved back in with him. He accepted this arrangement because he felt it was in his children's best interest to have their mother around on a daily basis.

The lived as roomies -- she even had her boyfriends living with them as they came and went -- and she would *still* on a regular basis talk about how she had let him off easy because he wasn't paying her CS. And when she ran short on money, she continued to threaten him with it.

When she got knocked up by her latest boyfriend, she put her ex-husband's (i.e., my friend's) name on the birth certificate. He was the primary caregiver for that child as of D-day...and she assured him (likely without any legal input, I'd imagine) that if she ever went back to court for CS, he'd be paying for the new baby, too, because she'd put his name on the birth certificate and he never contested it.

(Of course, she didn't put the actual father on there because she wanted to get state aid to cover the delivery costs, and the state would have gone after him for repayment...and then his wife would have known about their affair.)

Prior to D-day, I just sort of shook my head and told him he was being a complete idiot. (I actually said to him once...at some point after he'd started fucking my wife, "Dude, you realize that you're never going to meet anyone else as long as your ex-wife is living with you and you're taking care of her bastard offspring, right?" He answered, "I'm doing just fine. Don't worry about me." I thought it was an odd answer at the time -- the answer and the look he gave me when he said it. Yeah, it's things like that which still keep me up at night.)

Anyway, long story short: The fact that his ex had both been told by her lawyer and had the expectation that she *deserved* CS after a 50/50 custody split, despite the fact that she was living with and sponging off of her former spouse, tells me everything I need to know about our court system.

Of course, once upon a time, I thought she was a horrible, psychotic bitch with her head up her ass.

Now I hope she does take him to court and exploits the system for all it's worth.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6687 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 11:10 AM, January 29th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TwiceTorn,

You have a PM.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
toonice
♂ Member
Member # 19862
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, January 29th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree; BH get the short end of the stick in this all.

No doubt about it.

I get the evil extorting SAHM/WW thing. My XGF wielded threats about suing for more CS for 18 years. She didn't work. I moved away from our son, mainly because I couldn't stand dealing with her abusive crap on a regular basis -
She treats her 3rd XH the same way now.

During my FWW's A; one of her girlfriends was a divorced WW (also was fucking FWW's OM - as well as many other guys). And she was a part-time paralegal (her XH is a lawyer, really really nice guy too), and was trying to convince my FWW she'd be better off D-ing me, and raking me over the coals in the legal system. She totally fucked-over her XH, and was proud of it. She was going out to bars every night of the week, and screwing random guys in the parking lot. She has this philosophy about how women get raped and abused, women are forced to bear all these unrealistic social standards for physical beauty, expected to stay home, and get cheated on by their H's, and tossed away when they're too old - etc. She feels it's her duty to "get men back" on behalf of all women.

The problem with this is: none of us BH's here rape or abuse women - none of us here are any of those stereotypical "chauvanist pig" types. In fact, FWW's OM fits that mold almost perfectly - he's the one getting laid CONSTANTLY by these women.

At the end of the day, it's just more blameshifting and excuse-making for their behavior.

I have no idea how that maps over to how our legal system was perverted to the state it is - but let's be real. Look at the lying and denial, and marital history rewriting. I have some pretty hard evidence of my wife's cheating. But how many of us get that? How many of us could actually PROVE everything that our WW's did to us - in a court of law? And every divorce trial would end up being a clusterfuck of he-said/she-said blameshifting and arguing. I think the whole no-fault system was put in place because the legal system just couldn't handle all the constant bullshit. It's society telling people: hey, grow up! With your marriages. . . you're on your own. We're not going to intervene on your behalf in this crap anymore. If you don't like it, don't get married.

The state can not FORCE people to be faithful and honest.

Which is, I guess, the reason I come to that same conclusion. And it's what I will teach my kids.

In fact - none of my kids will have my blessing to get married, without a pre-nup. Their wedding gifts from me will be: a copy of "Not Just Friends" - and a retainer for a damn good Divorce lawyer.


Stronger than reason, stronger than lies, the only truth I know, is the look in your eyes.
BH(42) FWW(41; 8+ OM/OW, 5 year LTA)
M: 16yrs, 2 kids DS16, DD13. d-day 6/17/2008 (after 9 months of MC+gaslighting).

Posts: 4898 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: CA
toonice
♂ Member
Member # 19862
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, January 29th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

. .. and enough of speculating on how many BH's there are %-wise.

I'm wondering why it seems like all of us (BW, WW, BH, WH) seem to be within a year or two of 40 years old. Gotta be like 80% of us - I can't imagine that's a coincidence, but really - turning 40 wasn't THAT bad. Jeez.


Stronger than reason, stronger than lies, the only truth I know, is the look in your eyes.
BH(42) FWW(41; 8+ OM/OW, 5 year LTA)
M: 16yrs, 2 kids DS16, DD13. d-day 6/17/2008 (after 9 months of MC+gaslighting).

Posts: 4898 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: CA
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, January 29th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

.. and enough of speculating on how many BH's there are %-wise.

Why? I would be curious to know how many men (BH and WH) are here on SI. Theoretically it should be 50% but I am certain it is not so.


-t2g

PS - 43 on Dday


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9144 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, January 30th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the whole no-fault system was put in place because the legal system just couldn't handle all the constant bullshit.

Sounds about right. Unless some legal historian pops up on here and edumacates me otherwise, it'll do for an answer for now.
I don't think it evolved that way as a result of the system trying to tell folks to 'grow up' & and handle it all on their own though...I suspect it has more to do with gavel-bangers wanting clearer dockets & less work.
All that adjudicatin with so much golf to be played makes for cranky bureaucrats.

Both of my boys chose to live with their mother in her boyfriend's trailer. The uninhibited, no rules lifestyle was too much of a lure I suppose. At least that's what I tell myself.
My youngest is 21 today(!), slowly working his way thru community college, living at home w his mom, who married the OM. My oldest, 23, is shackin up, working as a waiter & making babies.

When my 2nd W's A came to light (5/07), well, I packed the contents of a 4br,2 1/2b house in 2 32-foot long trailers and sent her with it back to her mother's, 200 miles away.
I moved after spending months in that echoing empty elephant to a quiet little rental with apparently common shower-doors and a shaded yard for my 2 gurl border collies.

I found SI. It's a safe and saving place.
I'm finding myself - with the help of complete strangers and 20,000 stories that humble me, make me cry and write crazy stuff, and confirm my belief in true love's existence despite it all.

I live in mostly silence, and try to guard my ears from the earth's groans and travails.
I try to guard my eyes from abhorrent advertisers whose images celebrate common eyelust with godaddy girls for 30 pieces of silver.

Though I say I'm thankful for another day above ground, I do yet struggle with Prufrock's ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
(in short, I too am afraid).

Shit. I'm gettin too deep.

Really? I just want to give a little back before I go.
Since the M/W ratio comes up from time to time, I thought we could have fun with it, and say thanks to this place.
Plus,
I thought we could blow off some BM-steam,
o boy!

Place your bets.


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