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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 3
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks ya all.. Today I took off work early to fix my SO's brothers car. His wife of 18 years decided she would rather be with a 22 year old guy. Just came in one day, said Im leaving you and grabed some stuff. Already raided the savings and checking accounts. Just leaving him with the 2 kids (S 12, and D 17) and a house he can't afford to keep. So when he said he was having car problems, I told him id fix it for him, cost of parts. The crap hit the fan for them in April, so its still pretty fresh.

Heck even this morning when I worked I dropped of a vehicle I worked on at a customers house. The customer gave me a ride back. We were talking, he asked how long I worked at this shop, I told him about a year, he asked where I worked before and told him I had my own shop for 4 years. So I told him divorce. Turns out his 14 year M is on the rocks, his W decide to have an A and left him with their 14 year old D. This guy moved her from Mexico 8 years ago with his family to have a better life. Guys working 2 jobs to support them.

Its strange, were from 2 totality different cultures, grew up speaking 2 different languages. But there was that instant connection since we both are BS. There was no language barrier, we both talked completly on the same level. I gave him my cell number if he ever wanted to go out an grab a beer, and talk.

Its just scary how prevalent it is. Every guy I have met in real life that has become a BS the WW is always in that 35-45 year old group.. Why is that?! Do they have some sort of mid-life crisis!?


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know why that is!!!!!

ah hell. effit - it just felt good for a sec to think it -
TT)))))

me too.
talked to a guy - same thing, just today too. totally out of the blue it's like we're best buds.

i think it's getting like it was in noah's day.


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
TwiceTorn
♂ Member
Member # 13895
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess on the why, I can only think of what my XWW would read, constant feed of smut novels. Somehow in her mind it was ok to cross over to fantasy land and try and live it. Like somehow the rush of having some kinda secret new love is gunna make them feel alive or something. I think its common practice to blame the Marriage on it. That broken part of them they don't want to address, but blame the M to justify it on some fantasy level. Ultimatily blaming it all on us, like we didn't measure up.

Im sorry but no one can measure up to a fantasy, everyone has faults, course the new all wonder one they don't see the faults.. Yet...

I dunno if Im just reconizing it more that it happens to good regular guys. Like the radar is up, I reconize it more or something.


You've got to trust your instinct
And let go of regret
You've got to bet on yourself now star
'Cause that's your best bet~311 All mixed up


Posts: 3597 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Minnesota
shyguy
♂ Member
Member # 18281
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My exww blamed it on me. Then she tried to say her A was a mid life crisis. I don't think she can look at herself. It still sucks.


Love stinks yeah yeah(J. Geils)

Posts: 5866 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: tulsa
caretoomuch
♂ Member
Member # 12625
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all, I'm back after a time. We are still together. My profile reads like total shit....thats the way A's are I guess. ANYway..just a quick Q. How would you have done IF WW had left the M WITHOUT having an Affair. Better? Same ?. You know ,keeping integrity,tried to work it out but what if she had finally said : : I'm sorry ,I just dont love you anymore"....would you be hurting just as much or less...... ( so how much is the A???) Do we get over the actual A and just wonder about their love??


2006..Me 48
WW 47 OCD/ Sex Abuse by brother
Married 21 years,together 27
Teenagers
PA when engaged and now 3 1/2 yr PA with best friend
Dday 10 Nov 2006
Dont feel too bad ,people destroy the ones they love all the time.Its n

Posts: 640 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: floating, 2012..going
maestro
♂ Member
Member # 9016
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It would still hurt. Family, your life, everything would be torn apart.

Just not having to learn about OM, NC, and to deal with it.


Posts: 1198 | Registered: Dec 2005
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dont ask me! i wouldnt know wat that's like!
& how the hell you say WELCOME HERE?
fuck
afterall,

Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

here, ctm)))))
like, welcome back?
pft yah i get it.
funny, huh.
here's what i think. i think i am going to get out of this and survive.
whether i thrive,
is up to God, really.
so alot i pray.
as i read how it goes.
and try to learn.
to get out of this mess.

Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
hurts
♂ Member
Member # 9444
Default  Posted: 1:15 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree, I think it would be devastating either way.


Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
--- Charles M. Schulz
SO if I check my pulse, and it is not there, do I get the day off?

Posts: 8381 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: At Home
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

iow,
it's well documented, even before SI, that i'm a dumbass. Don't worry, I"M the one holding the proof of that!
lol!
dont know a dang thing.

Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, July 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been NC for about a week now.
Ever since I found out she paid 50 bucks for a motel 6.

I'm trying to look at it as a helpful thing, in the way that it helps me realize I have to finally let the Tiger's tail go.
She is who she is & I can't fix it.

My L said he'd have her served, since she won't sign the waiver & save me a few bucks...in about a week, now, after he gets done with a trial he's in...

She sure had me snowed. It doesn't seem...right(?) ...that she wanted just money from me...

Hard not to feel stupid as hell, too. I'm fighting fear of the future. But I'm staying busy so I don't have to think too much.

(& oh yeah, BUMP)


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
kxm00
♂ Member
Member # 14075
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The end met with anger and tears,
Only confirmed my worst fears.
It was a game, played for long,
But it was always all so wrong.

A decade blended into a year.
I didn't see, I didn't hear.
Too late for me to act.
Short time to see what you lacked.

I've realized what I learned.
I understand what I yearned.
The future is the place to be.
The past is well behind me.


D-day: 6/25/06
D-day #2: 8/16/07 Found out for sure she was seeing another OM while we were deciding to divorce, separate or work on the marriage.

Divorced 3/5/08.


Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: PA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tahat!! is. music. to. my. ears.

made me laugh!
Thanks!


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've realized what I learned.
I understand what I yearned.
The future is the place to be.
The past is well behind me.


So true... so true! New normal I say!


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9145 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
hurts
♂ Member
Member # 9444
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, July 16th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by hurts at 2:26 PM, July 16th (Wednesday)]


Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
--- Charles M. Schulz
SO if I check my pulse, and it is not there, do I get the day off?

Posts: 8381 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: At Home
kxm00
♂ Member
Member # 14075
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, July 16th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been a crappy week. That poem was in honor of the first anniversary of the last time she cheated on me (this week).

I was already feeling terrible.

Yesterday, I got laid off from work.

Timing is everything. But at least it gives me a chance to re-evaluate my entire life, get things in order and proceed how I want to.

I'm seriously thinking about becoming a carpenter, but have no experience whatsoever. How do I go about getting into an appretice program?


D-day: 6/25/06
D-day #2: 8/16/07 Found out for sure she was seeing another OM while we were deciding to divorce, separate or work on the marriage.

Divorced 3/5/08.


Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: PA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

kx, i'd be asking - if you can write poetry like that, why not pound a keyboard 'steada nails?

yeah, i know. but hey, maybe you could lose a few lbs.?

kx)))))))))))))))))))


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
kxm00
♂ Member
Member # 14075
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been pounding a keyboard for almost 20 years in the corporate world.

It's time for something new.


D-day: 6/25/06
D-day #2: 8/16/07 Found out for sure she was seeing another OM while we were deciding to divorce, separate or work on the marriage.

Divorced 3/5/08.


Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: PA
shyguy
♂ Member
Member # 18281
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Twice torn my exwife was 44 when she had A. Is this age thing a real thing? She said it was a midlife crisis.


Love stinks yeah yeah(J. Geils)

Posts: 5866 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: tulsa
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I could put my sex drive into a woman’s body,
everyone would know that earth is the insane-asylum of the universe.

you doin ok kx?


Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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