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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Military Deployment/Affairs
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, March 5th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kayti,
Just go naked! LOL... Your FWH will appreciate it!! LMAO!!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
ragingalone
Member
Member # 17029
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, March 6th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cannot wait until I can start shopping for my homecoming dress.
How far out do you have an estimate of when he is getting back? A month or two? Maybe if I break it up that way, this deployment won't seem so blasted long.


Together - 9/17/2002 Busted him EA - 9/17/2007 (5 years EXACTLY after we got together)
Reconciling and renewed vows - 2/2/2008
D-day#2- 8/12/08 (another EA & profile)Seperated
D-day#3- 10/01/08 PA with OW#1
Filed for Divorce- 11/21/08

Posts: 275 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: heartbreak hotel
ragingalone
Member
Member # 17029
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, March 6th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And LMAO @ the naked comment!


Together - 9/17/2002 Busted him EA - 9/17/2007 (5 years EXACTLY after we got together)
Reconciling and renewed vows - 2/2/2008
D-day#2- 8/12/08 (another EA & profile)Seperated
D-day#3- 10/01/08 PA with OW#1
Filed for Divorce- 11/21/08

Posts: 275 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: heartbreak hotel
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, March 6th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My estimate is 4-6 months (Could be more, could be less lol). I am telling you girl.. It was SCREAMING my name out. Its the perfect mix between Classy Wife and I want MY Husband NOW! LOLOL!! (Sorry Babe, not trying to embarass you!) I have to take a picture of it and post it. Its making things feel like he really is going to come home soon now that I bought it. And Im kicking it up in the weightloss area (30 down, 39 left). I WILL hit it by the time he gets home!!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 12:36 AM, March 7th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lisa, he may appreciate it, but this is germany. It'll still be pretty damn cold! Hell nah!


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
ragingalone
Member
Member # 17029
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, March 8th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So how is everyone doing?
Just checking in.
I haven't had a trigger in awhile. Atleast a week. It's hard to believe that on the 1st, I was having a total meltdown but yet today, I am okay. The difference really is communication with my husband. I am happy today.


Together - 9/17/2002 Busted him EA - 9/17/2007 (5 years EXACTLY after we got together)
Reconciling and renewed vows - 2/2/2008
D-day#2- 8/12/08 (another EA & profile)Seperated
D-day#3- 10/01/08 PA with OW#1
Filed for Divorce- 11/21/08

Posts: 275 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: heartbreak hotel
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 2:46 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

we're okay. I have a sty and they're jerking us around about DH's return date still, but otherwise....good. :D


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doing good. FWH and I are looking into renewing our vows this summer when he gets back in Cancun. My semester is coming to an end so I am going crazy lol and FWH is going to start his classes next month too! AJ is going to have surgery next month on his eyes again. But all in all, everything is well on this homefront!

Kayti, of course youre getting dicked around with Bs return, its the army lol. I hope hes here in time!!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL...I know. And most of the time I would just take it in stride and figure he'll be home when he's home. But the fact that he and the new baby should be here around the same time has made me more anxious this time.


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
tothefuture
♀ Member
Member # 18565
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all,
Having looked through this thread thought that I would introduce myself. I'm on the other side of the world, but a military wife none the less (and one that was betrayed while FWH was deployed in O7)!

We are now in a new country, enjoying a new posting and life as a family. Lots of hurt and heartbreadk still to get through and heal, but this posting will see us spending most of the next 2 years TOGETHER with very little chance of deployment...maybe only a few weeks apart for conferences and courses!

I have been able to relate to a lot of your comments and thoughts as I read through this thread, I have cried at your various situations and heartbreaks, I have smiled at the obvious hope that homecoming brings.

From the other side of the world - love and hugs to you all.

[This message edited by tothefuture at 6:31 PM, March 16th (Sunday)]


Me - BS 32
FWS - 33
Highschool sweethearts.
Together 15 years
Living together 10 years
Married 6 years

2 beautiful blond haired blue eyed boys - 4 years and 1 year.


Posts: 85 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Australia
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi TTF!! Welcome! I am sorry you found yourself here but glad you found us! We are a great group of people who have been able to endure all hardhships of infidelity. There are B mostly BSs here and my FWH recently just joined. Its gret you guys will have 2 years of being able to work thru things. Its a long and tiring road but in the end the results are great. FWH and I havent been able to put both feet in the R pool because he has been deployed (approaching the 1 year mark). If you view my profile the entire story is there. I wish you luck and feel free to jump right in!! Hugs! Lisa


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
Soldiersgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8188
Default  Posted: 2:17 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're on the other side of the world too. :D but how awesome you get to keep wh for a while. :)


You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman
No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes. ~ Anon
It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure. ~ Herbert Samuel

Posts: 1375 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Louisiana
Despisn3rdWorld
♀ Member
Member # 18660
Cool  Posted: 7:04 AM, March 17th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been reading for quite a while now. Have had to deal a lot on my own...if it were not for your posts as well as this site...I would never had thought I was normal. For that...I thank you all as I was coping silently.


BS - ME
FWS - HIM
Discovery - 03/12/07 made the heartwrenching, body shakin call...
Should have went with my gut a lot sooner...
Total Recon!

Posts: 521 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Overseas
btrayedarmywife
♀ New Member
Member # 18644
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

New here and wanted to say hello....


Tears are prayers when our hearts hurt too much to talk...

Me~BS 33
WH~41


Posts: 17 | Registered: Mar 2008
LMigs528
♀ Member
Member # 13536
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi and Welcome!! Its great you guys were be able to find SI. We are a great group of people here so feel free to jump and join right in!!


Just so lost... I hope this road I choose to travel will help Me get found.

Posts: 939 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Long Island, NY
DownNotOut
♀ Member
Member # 10076
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi to all the new people that have joined us! As the saying goes, "sorry that you find yourself here, but it is great support!"

Now I need to ask you all for advice.
FWH will be returning from "over there" in a couple months. Our R seems to be going beautifully...from a distance. Our phone conversations are great, our e-mails and letters are really everything I could want. He's opening up and sharing, exploring his feeling, etc. And so am I.

But I'm scared. Scared for multiple reasons. Scared that he'll fall back on his default A behavior. Scared that this fragile peace I've built for myself will shatter. And the big one is that I have the opportunity to do something incredible and life altering for me and, if I get chosen, I would be expected to pack bags and cross the country to do this "program" for four months. I would need to be there approxiamtely one week after FWH returns from a 7 plus month deployment to a war zone.

Trying to juggle what is best for me vs. best for him vs. best for us is driving me crazy.

Any thoughts? Advice? Sage words of guidance?

Thanks.


"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
~ nimbyone

"Beauty is between one's ears anyway, isn't it?"
~ bkewidow


Posts: 1606 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Unemployed and Hating It
dimplewimple
♀ Member
Member # 10092
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have the opportunity to do something incredible I would go for it. Is this an opportunity to further your career or something you have dreamed of for years?

I can imagine it is a very difficult decision....especially because he will just be returning home. But if this is something that may be an advantage to you I would follow through. Unfortunately a relationship is very fragile (as we have all witnessed) and someday you may need to be able to stand on your own two feet. If this would help you accomplish this than I say give it a go.

How much leave will he receive after returning home? Perhaps he could go with you for a short while.

If you feel comfortable giving a few more details about the trip it would easier to give advice.

Dimple


BTW....hi all. I rarely post here but we are AD AF.


I type 17 words a minute so if this post is long it may not be full of wisdom but I sure put a lot of time in it!

BTW...I do type faster than Vanna though.

Another BTW...wishingitwasnt is far stronger than he knows.


Posts: 4988 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: New Jersey
ragingalone
Member
Member # 17029
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To the new members, welcome to SI! There are great people here with some really good advice/experiences of their own. Don't be afraid to post and seek out opinions of others. It helps more than you think.
DownNotOut, I am going through a similar dilemma. I am in nursing school and will be finished 5 months AFTER my husband gets home. As much as I want to just drop everything and BE with him, it would be such a WASTE to do so with only 5 months left. So I am choosing to do what's best for me (in turn, best for my family as well) BUT I struggle daily on my fears of what will happen during that time. I cannot imagine a 15 month deployment ON TOP of 5 more months before we are able to live together again as husband and wife. It just makes my head spin.
Have you spoke with your husband about the issues? What does he think? As long as he supports you and you continue to have the open communication that you are currently having, then staying to do the "program" should be do-able.
I wanted to add- I think those feelings that you have are 'normal'. I have them too so you are not alone.

[This message edited by ragingalone at 11:32 PM, March 19th (Wednesday)]


Together - 9/17/2002 Busted him EA - 9/17/2007 (5 years EXACTLY after we got together)
Reconciling and renewed vows - 2/2/2008
D-day#2- 8/12/08 (another EA & profile)Seperated
D-day#3- 10/01/08 PA with OW#1
Filed for Divorce- 11/21/08

Posts: 275 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: heartbreak hotel
btrayedarmywife
♀ New Member
Member # 18644
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

??? for y'all....

I have such an incredible disdain for the military...and anything related now. WH and 2 of the OW were all Military this happened on deployment and was "encouraged, supported" and "defended"...by his command. It was like a boys' club over there with the Army "females" on their beauty queen tour...one of WH ...OW...came back and within 3 weeks got married to her fiance'...it's like it was all just fun and games..no big deal over there. WTF??????????

Honor, Integrity, Loyalty...my @SS!!!

and this new movie..."Stop Loss" ...and the "Army Wives" show...and everything else military all HUGE triggers
and he gets mad at me because it all just makes me furious and I wanna puke or cry or both...help??


Tears are prayers when our hearts hurt too much to talk...

Me~BS 33
WH~41


Posts: 17 | Registered: Mar 2008
DownNotOut
♀ Member
Member # 10076
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dimplewimple - I auditioned for a reality show that, for me, would be like rehab with my food addiction. The opportunity to be in a place where health, nutrition and exercise are what it's all about, with no outside influences or distractions, is what I deperately need right now.

FWH cannot travel with me for this at all.

I could be gone up to 4 months. It will certainly change both of our lives if I get to go. I feel those changes will be positive, but I still worry.

ragingalone - So you know how I feel, you are going through something similar as well. It sucks, doesn't it? We have to make these choices that we know are good for us, but may not be so good for our relationships. But then I have to think that, if that's the case, I 'd rather know now, this year, than have yet another dday five years down the road when I think life is frickin' sunshine and butterflies!

FWH didn't want me to do it at first and I agonized over it. I finally told him what I was really feeling, that I thought he was being selfish. He wanted me to stay at home and we'd work on it together. I told him that is I was a drug addict and needed to go to rehab he wouldn't be saying those things. He agreed with me and he now supports me and my decision 100%. I just can't stand the thought of 2 months down the line and in the midst of changing my life for the better and he's off feeling sorry for himself and deciding to get an "ego" boost. I hope that wouldn't happen, but I just don't know.


"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
~ nimbyone

"Beauty is between one's ears anyway, isn't it?"
~ bkewidow


Posts: 1606 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Unemployed and Hating It
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