Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Minty (43205)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: For Those Still In The Dark
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, November 13th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Junebug is right. I'm counting just XXX more years that I must stay legally M to this deceptive lunatic.

[This message edited by dreamlife at 12:00 AM, August 11th (Saturday)]


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
hurt62
♀ Member
Member # 29344
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, November 18th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I to am still in the dark. I don't think anything is currently happening but gut says other wise. Just havn't proven anything yet. Getting duck in a row.


BS-me 49
WS-him 46
2kids- DS 12 and DD 10

Posts: 51 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: NW PA
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, November 19th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was able to get WH's SECRET cell phone number and this is huge!

Now that I have it, I have NO idea what to do with it...any ideas here?

I also have no idea what type of cell phone it is.

I could do cart wheels b/c he screwed up!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
cobraadvice
♀ Member
Member # 32452
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, November 19th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dreamlife, find the phone! I found the number first and of course called it all day long (blocked it by *67 first). Got up the next morning at 4 am and searched his truck, got it! Searched the phone and finally got her phone number and a couple of text messages. I forwarded everything to my phone as evidence and called her number at 5 AM. I did not know who the OW was as my H refused to tell me, kept saying it would not help our marriage. Once I had the number he still would not tell me so I paid for an online PI to search it, voila had names, home address, home phone numbers, family history, etc...

She then panicked and told her husband and my husband looked shocked when I handed him his phone the next day. This was 3 months after D-Day, so more lies.


Me 50, WH 50
OW 52, looks older and fake, not worth a 2nd look.
Married 24 years, together 27 years
3 sons,
DDay May 2011
DDay#2 Oct 2011,
Separated for a month, asked to move home, in R and it has its ups and downs but it is now more limbo

Posts: 203 | Registered: Jun 2011
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, November 20th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't get to/"find" the secret phone physically b/c we are living seperately over 300 miles apart.
(He would not tell me anything back in 2006 -- so I kicked him out).
I think this phone would be a veritable *GOLD MINE* re info about our Finances. I don't care about his boyfriends/lovers...I just wanna know about the $ & how its being spent.
All I have is the number...


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
GoodFaith
♂ Member
Member # 28249
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, December 1st (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's a quote from toomanytears...

understand that at some point you have to place self-respect ahead of self-sacrifice.

It certainly struck a nerve in me.


BH (me) 51
FWW (CSA)44
3 Kids 17-23
DDay1 - 01/08/08 finaly found proof but still denied all.
DD2 31/08/2009 admited 4 cheats - one total stranger
DD3 20/01/2010 admitted 3 more

Posts: 308 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Ontario
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, December 5th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still have not heard a reason I can trust for why he began carrying around a condom when I was already three months pregnant. And the kicker? I might never know the truth.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.

Posts: 3762 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, December 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

me, too.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
2_4giving4_2long
♀ Member
Member # 34008
Helpless  Posted: 12:09 PM, January 15th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really am in the dark. I have always forgiven his "forgetfulness" even when he forgetting something so important to me. I would understand he was under "a lot of stress." Now I know about the A and he "can't remember", or "forgets" everything about it. I have no answers. Just that he had a longer A than he will admit to.


Me 52
He 49
DDay 11/06/11
Married 23 years
2 adult children.

Posts: 159 | Registered: Nov 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, January 16th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add me to the In The Dark club. That he refuses to discuss anything with me is a major problem for me.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8778 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 6:06 AM, January 22nd (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG~ mine also will not discuss anything with me so he made it an Open & Shut case right then & there. ugh, Bastard!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
hurtingmama1977
♀ Member
Member # 34459
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, January 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. As I read thru these pages I feel like I am reading my own story but I could never describe it so perfectly as some of you do. I also have "proof" of nothing and also hear over and over that he has never had sex with anyone else. About a month ago, I found out that he had kissed another woman twice. When I confronted him about it and bothered him for 3 days, he finally gave in and said, "We were all really drunk. It MAY have happened." There was never an apology or any sign of remorse. My gut tells me that there is so much more. I also confronted him with other things that he says I am blowing way out of proportion, are all in my head, etc. I feel like he might have a secret cell phone also cause his cell phone (that I know about) he almost every day leaves at home on the counter and it rarely rings. There's no way he has this huge "circle of friends and ho workers" that he talks about and not one of them ever call or text???? So many unanswered questions. I feel like a private investigator in my own home!!


Me- (BS)34
H- (WS)35
Married-14 years
Kids-13,9,5, and a baby born 4-17-2011

Posts: 118 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: MI
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, April 22nd (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband and I are separated. He just started dropping the child support check off weekly in the mailbox. After 15 years of marriage, I noticed my name was misspelled on the envelope. I was about to cuss him out for no knowing how to spell it! Then, I realized my name on the check was spelled correctly! I cussed him out for having "her" write my name on the envelope. Oh yeah, the "her" that supposedly isn't. The fool said to me " I wrote your name wrong, I just wanted to see if you noticed!!!"
Are we 6th graders?????
At one point he wanted to move back in & thank GOD I said No, not without IC first!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1713 | Registered: Jan 2012
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, April 22nd (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Approaching some "light" with Financial Disclosure looming ~ Yay!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
SGRBEET
♀ Member
Member # 35442
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, May 1st (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a question for anyone out there that is still struggling with trust and being "in the dark" about what your spouse did while it relates to infidelity and the betrayal. I DO NOT trust my husband's story and I would like to have him take a polygraph. That way I would know for sure if he has told me the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Have any of you made your Significant Other take a polygraph and what were the results? Do you believe them to be accurate and did they give you the closure you needed to get out of limbo and make a decision to stay and R or leave?


Posts: 93 | Registered: Apr 2012
MyReturn2Me
♀ Member
Member # 34352
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, May 2nd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((SGRBEET)) First of all {{BIG HUGS}}

I was just thinking the same thing. My husband admitted to 7 separate ons and even gave me a bulls*&t time line. The dates and names don't match ANY of the names of women that I came up with, except the last one.
I asked him to rewrite the timeline and he refuses. Because he's a colossal LIAR!
I have an acquaintance who is a Law Enforcement Officer and I was sitting here thinking of way to ask him to recommend an agency who could give a reliable polygraph test to a BPD, narcissistic, sociopathic, alcoholic, sex addict, passive aggressive? What's the fucking point?


Me: BS 51 and Freaking AWESOME!
Him: Who the fuck cares........

Posts: 259 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Puget Sound
SGRBEET
♀ Member
Member # 35442
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, May 2nd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am actually chuckling at your post....the anger is present but glad you can keep your humor about you at a time like this. Do they honestly think we are that stupid. When 1+1 doesn't equal 2 then things just don't add up. It's actually comical that they think we don't have their number.

Posts: 93 | Registered: Apr 2012
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 5:19 AM, May 9th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well! Things are going to change drastically for him soon...he has hidden so much. I am in a no fault state so the A's do not matter, but hiding $$$ does, etc. Wish I could post more but can't right now due to possible *Lurker Alert*.
About the poly:
Sociopaths can lie away easily & with impunity...its as easy as breathing in/out to them.
On the other hand, if one tends to suffer from anxiety, it would affect the poly results, then there is the skill level of the one administering/reading the "results"...which is why poly's r not admissible in court.
What you need to ask yourselves is this:
Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with a broken fucked up person & constantly play PI in my own home?


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
MyReturn2Me
♀ Member
Member # 34352
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, May 9th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dreamlife you are spot on.

He already told me he's stuck his dick in 7 other women, in addition to me, his wife, and I have the e-mail exchanges between him and his potential victim #8.

I really don't need to spend upwards of $500 for him to sit and lie his way through a polygraph test like he's lied his way through our 20 year relationship.


Me: BS 51 and Freaking AWESOME!
Him: Who the fuck cares........

Posts: 259 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Puget Sound
SGRBEET
♀ Member
Member # 35442
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, May 9th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's exactly what I need to know. If my H was doing that, I'm done with this R. I can't live with that.

Posts: 93 | Registered: Apr 2012
Topic Posts: 840
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42

Return to Forum: I Can Relate Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.