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User Topic: For Those Still In The Dark
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, February 8th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hmmm...well, I thought I had another piece of it.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, I received 2 Valentine cards...one was from "Daddy" to my cat-- and from "Dad and the cat" to me.
Cute!!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I say give him a nicely wrapped hairball in return.



Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, February 16th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JR~ Clever! I shall save up some hair balls for "Father's Day"!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Gullible
♀ Member
Member # 20005
Frustrated  Posted: 8:58 AM, February 18th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone. Haven't been here for awhile, but thought it was time to revisit because I'm getting that weird gut feeling again (unfortunately.) It seemed as though things were somewhat "normal" for awhile, but now I feel very uneasy. Here's the most recent stuff (and please let me know your feedback/ opinions.) Yesterday my car wasn't working and my H had to take me to work/ pick me up. I noticed in the morning when I was getting ready that he had 2 of his dress shirts in the dryer (why?) When he took a shower and drove me to my job he was wearing "casual" clothers. When he picked me up later, he had on one of the dress shirts, a suit jacket, some jeans and boots. Not to mention he was late coming to pick me up. He was supposed to do some errands during the day, like get our vehicle stickers. When I had called him on his cell phone when my workday was over, I asked him if he had gotten the stickers and he said "yes." We even had a conversation about it. He calls me saying he is stuck in traffic and there is an accident on the expressway. When he finally comes to get me, I look at his odometer, and it seems he has put 80 miles on the car (I had looked at the mileage when he dropped me off in the morning.) I asked him what he had done all day, and he said he went to a few "local" stores. Of course, he hadn't actually bought anything from these stores! There was about $50-60 that he spent, unaccounted for. When I told him that I knew he drove 80 miles somewhere, and that he'd better tell me where he went, he questioned how I would know how many miles he drove. I told him I had looked at the odometer when he dropped me off in the morning, and he tried to tell me that I can't even see the digital numbers correctly from the passenger seat! And, get this...he never even got the vehicle stickers! When I asked him where they were when I got home, he said he "forgot" to go get them! I asked him why he would tell me he got them on the phone earlier, and he claims he wasn't really listening or didn't understand what I was asking him. Here's one last tidbit I found interesting... I checked his undergarments for anything weird this morning, after he had put them in the laundry and left for work. Didn't find any stains or anything, but this is weird- he had a long tear right in front of his bikini underwear- almost like it was put there on purpose! He wears 2 pairs of underwear for some reason- a small bikini with a boxer on top. Has anyone ever heard of this? Is this for easy access or something? I asked him again yesterday if he is seeing someone or going to a strip club or hooker, and of course he denies it. Your thoughts, please??? Oh yes, and there were a few other days in the past couple months when he was off and took money out of our acct., "forgot" to do errands he was supposed to do, and claims he went out by himself to eat at a couple of restaurants in the same afternoon. Could he just have a drinking problem, or is he cheating too? I always knew that the drinking was an issue. What about the rip in front of his underwear? Help!!!

Posts: 124 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest
Gullible
♀ Member
Member # 20005
Concerned  Posted: 11:15 AM, February 18th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi. I am posting my current problems under the "General" board, too, as I'm not sure who reads what, or who to ask for advice. Some of you on this board already know alot of my story (like Jitterbug and Dreamlife.) Here's another kicker...took a sick day today and I just found a bottle of Viagra wrapped in a piece of paper in the basement! My H and I haven't been intimate since the past Sat., and I certainly didn't do anything with him yesterday. He accidentally left it on the ironing board. There were
5 1/2 pills in there, which makes it look like he used a half a pill (not with me!) A couple of months ago, I had found 2 viagra pills in his coat pocket, and waited a week to see if they would "disappear." Well, the next day after finding them he was intimate with me, and I noticed he had used one of the pills. I waited to see what would happen with the other one. The next Sat., he went into work for a few hours (I was able to reach him there) but after a while when he didn't come home, I called his work again and they said he had left around 9:30 or 10 am. I couldn't get a hold of him until around 2;00 pm, when he finally called me from his cell phone supposedly from a "store." When he came home, I checked his pocket, and the pill was gone (mind you, we hadn't been intimate since the past weekend.) When I questioned him about it, he said that when he reached into his pocket for his cell phone he felt the pill still in there, and threw it out because he didn't want me to find it. I told him I had been tracking those pills for a week! Should I say anything about this bottle of Viagra I found today, or wait until he slips up with something else? He is obviously up to something again. I am very frustrated because we just planned a vacation together in a few weeks and I charged it on my CC. What to do now?

Posts: 124 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest
sofresh
♀ Member
Member # 22912
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, February 19th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me start by saying only 5 days from D day that you have got to stop denying or you are going to be steamrolled or "Tsunamied".
My WS started going to the ATM instead of using his checkcard for purchases so nothing could be tracked IE lunches out, condoms.
I was totally catching on and he just couldn't take it anymore.
I don't know if there is a less painful way to draw out the truth but if you ask he'll have great excuses...cheaters as other will tell you, are great liars.
I just hope that knowing now and moving on mentally will keep you from some amount of pain....
Much love and sympathy


ME BW 30 & DS 14 mos.
STBXWH 38 sociopath, SA living with OW 25
D day #1
4 F/R's and corresponding D days
For unhealthy relationships, Dr Seuss would probably say to us…
“Be happy its over, don't cry because it happened”

Posts: 630 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: NY
sofresh
♀ Member
Member # 22912
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, February 19th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh and as far as him saying your crazy or beoming anoyed at your insecurities I got that too..then I was told that I was pushing him away and now post Ddday he can say it was my fault...NO MATTER WHAT it is NOT your Fault!
PLease don't let this continue..I want along for a while doubting myself and hating myself for barraging him with my suspicions and questions. Now that it's said and done It was intuition!
Get yourself together and save yourself before he completely desimates you.


ME BW 30 & DS 14 mos.
STBXWH 38 sociopath, SA living with OW 25
D day #1
4 F/R's and corresponding D days
For unhealthy relationships, Dr Seuss would probably say to us…
“Be happy its over, don't cry because it happened”

Posts: 630 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: NY
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, February 19th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gullible~ What does your *GUT* say? Why would anyone wear a dress shirt when "drinking"?

Things are not adding up, are they?


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, February 20th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gullible, I agree with dream. Listen to your gut. These stories he tells you don't make sense. They don't make sense to you, and they don't make sense to us.

If you need more proof, get a gps, a VAR, check his phone records, or if you can afford it, hire a PI. But you *have* to stop confronting him for now, because it's just making him cover his tracks better. You can ask him questions until the cows come home. He's just going to lie to you and gaslight you.

I'm sorry you're going through this.


Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, February 20th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, February 24th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I googled "dissapation of marital assets" today; very helpful!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, March 2nd (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wrote me about his company's "merger" back in 92/93 and it was long and very detailed.
Very interesting!

Oh, and he was SO Thoughtful, too! The cat...got a lovely Snoopy birthday card... for his 6th birthday.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
chrissy26
♀ Member
Member # 23068
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, March 2nd (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like I am in the dark so I guess I will join this club too. My WH has said so many things that don't make sense to me. Like how does a joke about someone stripping turn into a letter from MOW saying she can't break the 10 commandments with him anymore and she will see him when he is single??? But he just denies denies denies...insists his original story is the true one. Then there are all the women he chatted with online that he insists he was only looking for "friends" (even though they were all from the area where he worked and all young single girls)


BS(me)- 27
WH(him)- 28
Married - 9 yrs Together- 11 yrs
Kids - D-10,D-8,S-3
Status - pending
D Day #1 - 04-02 (some girl he met while in boot camp)
D Day #2 - 12-24-07 (online EA with at least 2 sluts, maybe more)

Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: TN
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, March 3rd (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi chrissy ... and welcome.

Many cheaters will deny even in the face of concrete evidence. I think mine would deny even if I had a video of him having sex with someone else.

MOW says she can't "break the 10 commandments *anymore*"? Just how does he explain this?


Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, March 3rd (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

double post ... sorry

[This message edited by JitterbugRag at 8:55 AM, March 3rd (Tuesday)]


Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
chrissy26
♀ Member
Member # 23068
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, March 3rd (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His story is that while in bootcamp on kitchen duty he and a few other guys as well as this girl were joking about her stripping...she gets offended and handwrites all the guys that were there this exact same letter...I know it is BULL but of course that is his story and he is sticking to it....makes me wanna


BS(me)- 27
WH(him)- 28
Married - 9 yrs Together- 11 yrs
Kids - D-10,D-8,S-3
Status - pending
D Day #1 - 04-02 (some girl he met while in boot camp)
D Day #2 - 12-24-07 (online EA with at least 2 sluts, maybe more)

Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: TN
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, March 3rd (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

chrissey~ I used to catch WH on online dating sites asking W "Where are you?"
He said he only asked about their location just because he was "only making CONVERSATION" -
Of course, I know better as he wanted to see if they were within close proximity to him.
He has his "story"...but what is your gut really telling you? Believe your GUT...*always*!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
JitterbugRag
♀ Member
Member # 17294
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, March 4th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H, also, always has an "explanation," and he doesn't seem to care that his explanations make no sense. In fact, he tries to make me feel crazy for saying his stories don't make sense.

If you need more proof, I would suggest that you don't bring it up anymore--let him think you accept his explanation and go into full-blown investigative mode.


Posts: 490 | Registered: Dec 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, March 4th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, beware of the Gas Light being turned up.
I agree about going silent and into deep Investigative mode, too.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
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