Do you ever wish they (the WSO) would have some flashing moment that they realize what they did and come crawling back? I know this happens for some. I wonder what their relationships had that mine doesn't.
I am having a particularly rough time tonight because my WH is mad at me and decided to not come home tonight. He decided to stay at a hotel by work. If I knew which one I would go up there without a hesitation. But I guess I am not suppose to.
Self worth is a tough value to determine. I know I don't want to hurt but I love my WH so much that I want him even knowing that this may be something I have to learn to accept. Sick huh! I don't know how to explain it... He really means the world to me. But I guess I don't to him. That is were the sadness kicks in.
He also is jaundiced (which is minor in comparison to his other issues) so he's also on phototherapy.
He was born full term, but he's just a very sick little boy. Fortunately my husband has been amazing through this. We're going to the hospital 3 times a day to be with our new son, but it's hard. We can't hold him much because of all the monitoring and just looking at him hooked up to everything makes me cry all the time.
I'd so appreciate your kind thoughts in his direction.
You folks are the greatest. I sure appreciate the votes of confidence. D-Day was not quite a week ago, so I'm still struggling quite a bit, and sometimes I feel like things will never be "right" again.
I do love my wife more than anything, though, and she's really turned things around (as far as I can tell - it's still hard to trust too much).
Little Man has been an angel from the moment he was born, and he is still the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I hate for us to be putting him through this, but am glad he is small enough that he won't remember. We try to keep our A conversations to when he is in bed, of course, but still.
2 DSs, ages 8 and 6
It really is awesome that you two are doing so well.
And bless that little man of yours. What a wonderful joy to have him during the tough times.
Like I told my WW, whatever issues we may have had in our marriage, our son had nothing to do with them. He played absolutely NO role in what's going on, and he deserves so much more than what he's gotten - a mommy who was ignoring him because her family was getting in the way of her busy internet life (and PHONE, my God, the hours she was spending on the phone with OM are staggering), and now a daddy who is devastated and broken hearted. The MC says we will all be okay, but I still hate all of it.
D-Day was not quite a week ago, so I'm still struggling quite a bit, and sometimes I feel like things will never be "right" again
(((Virgofire))) You remind me of me. I completely understand this:
Self worth is a tough value to determine. I know I don't want to hurt but I love my WH so much that I want him even knowing that this may be something I have to learn to accept....(and this)....Do you ever wish they (the WSO) would have some flashing moment that they realize what they did and come crawling back? I know this happens for some. I wonder what their relationships had that mine doesn't.
Had a 2nd DDay on 7/15 when the REST of the story of WW online EA came out. Turns out they were cyber-sexing like crazy, even while we were AT MY PARENTS' HOUSE on vacation! Yuck, how disgusting is that?
Starting R over again *sigh* and it's going well. She has truly been remorseful from DDay #1, but was scared to tell me about the sex for fear of losing me. I told her the lies and deceit are worse.
She said that now that all the skeletons are out of the closet, she can actually breathe deeply again, she felt like she couldn't breathe all during the A and after, until now.
She has definitely been doing everything she's supposed to and then some. I truly believe she is a good woman who made a horrible (3-week long) mistake.
For us and for our little son, I keep believing we can make this work. I still love her so much.
Hope you and your young ones are all well.
She does care desperately about having a healthy and intact family, as both her parents were/are crazy (literally) and her mom had affairs on her dad and deserted the family when FWW was only 4 years old. So she has a major investment in rebuilding our family. She also claims to be desperately in love with me, which can be hard for me to believe since she had the A.
A lot of the time I *think* we can work everything through, but sometimes I really feel hopeless about it all.
Things getting better with us, I think. She's been really upset that I stopped wearing my wedding band, and suggested that she get me a new one, to symbolize a new beginning for our M - a titanium band, indestructible. And she is starting IC in a week (she has been anxious to go, just waiting for the referral from our MC).
Off to the hospital nursery again, to see our tiny little beautiful boy. :)
(((Momofthree))) I'm so glad things are going well for you also. That's great news.
Now if I could just start eating healthier and like my body...
Best of luck to you; I think it's great things are going well.
I am getting pretty close now scheduled C on Aug 2 but contracting like crazy so I might not make it that long.
Getting pretty antsy about ppd I had it last time and that's when life was much more stable. My H is taking paternity leave to help me through so that's good not money wise but good to have the help. I am just hoping I don't spiral down. Getting better about accepting this baby too not feeling as disconnected as I was H asks me not alot but how I am feeling my honest answer is I am not sure so hoping once I see it will feel better.
[This message edited by momofthree2007 at 9:54 AM, July 29th (Sunday)]
I haven't been able to kiss her since. I just feel sick.
Trying to hold it together, especially for our little boys. New baby is very sweet & snuggly, easy-going, good baby.
Wish my wife were a Good Wife.