I can't even imagine being betrayed then going it alone. Glad you have your parents there for some support.
This was not my choice, but it will not be my undoing either. ~~yewtree
About the other stuff, wow- that is really cold and insensitive! I'm so sorry your hospital stay and labor were interrupted with HIS issues! That's awful!
Why does he want to stay over a few nights a week? Did he say? Is he trying to win you back or what?
Take care of yourself sweetie and keep in touch.
I am really sorry about the situation with your WH. I am 22 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I found out about my WH's A in late March '07, denial.. denial.. denial.. went through 3 confrontations before I set the laptop in front of him with the 'VIVID' proof. That was May 18th... nothing has been the same since.
Hope I'm not out of line posting here - our son is 21 months old, so we are still somewhat "new" parents.
Nothing could take me away from my son except a body bag, I just don't understand these guys who think some slut is more important than their own kids, especially newborns and little ones on the way.
I discovered my WW's online affair after only 3 weeks, thank God. During that time she was not only gaslighting me, treating me like crap, and ignoring me, she was ignoring our little son as well. When he would see her pick up her phone, he would go hit her! This child hardly hits at all otherwise. And he was asking for her all the time, and she would tell him, Go find your Daddy, go play with Daddy.
From the moment she came out of the fog, she was just sickened at how she had treated me and abandoned our family (emotionally) while she was getting her fantasy fun online. She was a really good mother before her stupid A, but is possibly even better now that she is back on planet Earth.
There can be hope for waywards if they pull their heads out of the asses for long enough to see how they are destroying their and everyone else's lives.
Best of luck to everyone.
2 DSs, ages 7 and 5
Since my first suspicion of my WH's A, my emotional status has been like riding an endless roller coaster while wanting to get off the ride.
I sought counceling, that was not of great help. I was told to talk to my WH and tell him what I wanted. I was told I was feeling everything I was suppose to and to make an appointment whenever I wanted to talk about things. that didn't really sit well with me.. so I have been trying to handle this on my own.
One of my biggest fears is that baby girl is going to be affected emotionally as well or that the bond between her and her daddy will be affected.
This is baby number 4 for me... our first baby together. and of course when I think about the A and realize that we conceived Baby Girl that same time the OW came into our life.. it hurts like hell....
In one of the first DENIAL confrontations, WH even told me to go get an abortion... i don't think i need to tell anyone how that made me feel...
I often wonder what lesson I am suppose to be learning from this situation. Because I am not getting it!!!
Like many of us here... I have never felt this pain before and just when i think it is starting to go away.. it surfaces again.
I try and trust.. I try not to think about it.. then all the sudden something he says or something I see or read or hear makes me think of it all again. Like ripping a bandaid off of a fresh wound and making it worse.
I know it has only been a couple of months.. but I have a baby to think about very soon..
How do I get trust back?
How do I express happiness like the 180 says to when all i feel is sadness?
I try and go on a car ride when I feel an emotional outburst coming and do all my crying and screaming before pulling back into the driveway.
So many questions and not enough answers.
How do you get through it? When do the rollercoaster rides come to a stop?
When do I get to be happy again?
I understand the tainted feeling. It has been very difficult to enjoy this pregnancy, which makes me feel guilty.
I wonder if the hormones are playing a big part of it.. and what it will be like after my lil princess joins us. The selfish part of me hopes he has a rotten relationship with her, but that is me being really really selfish. I just want him to hurt. In the beginning, I didn't. I wanted him to figure out why he did it. But now I realize all the words he said and the the things he did where just his way of shutting me up. My gut says it is still going on.. just no longer visiable to me. Everything is still so secret and when I talk to him about it... well I am selfish. I guess that is called gaslighting.
How are you holding it together? :)
What do I do when the WH doesn't want to change? I guess I already know the answer to that. It just hurts even worse to think about that outcome.
What do I do when the WH doesn't want to change?
Our son has been settling down a bit more. Just after DDay (which basically began our R, WW was shocked out of the fog), DS realized that Mommy was "back" with us emotionally, and was very clingy with her and affectionate. It was nice to see him that way with her, as he has always been 100% Daddy's Boy.
Things are getting more back to normal with him now. He is still closest with Daddy, but showing a lot more attention to her than pre-A. I think she was a bit emotionally unavailable even then, perhaps. Also, my work schedule (mostly nights & weekends) allows me to do the lion's share of the childcare 9 months of the year, so he & I have spent most of his young life together.
He & I are both just so glad to have her back. 1st MC session was yesterday & went well. Hoping there is hope for us.