I think one of the hardest parts in addition to mourning the joy I should have been able to feel about being pregnant, was that when we decided to R, I put a lot of stuff on hold so I could get through the pregnancy and keep the baby healthy.
After our son was born, a lot of unresolved issues bubbled up again. He's about three months old now and we're in a much better place, but I still struggle sometimes (like today while reading these posts).
The instructions on the side of antibiotic ointment say not to use it on puncture wounds. This is because the danger is you'll heal the surface, but leave the deep wound unhealed and festering. That's the risk I think we take when we're pregnant and discover infidelity. Biologically, our bodies want us whole and happy and so sometimes the mind is happy to comply... for a while.
Anyway, my love to all of you.
Recovering each other and ourselves.
5 children: 8 mo, 2,4,4,9
"Love is not a victory march,
It's a cold and broken hallelujah"
My little guy is coming by c-section on July 6 unless I go into labor sooner. I'm on bedrest right now to prevent that, but I'll be full term (37 weeks) this weekend and it will be safe for him to come.
I'm having a very hard time lately, even though my husband has been doing pretty good on his end. I'm so worried about life going back to what it was when he was involved with OW (while I was pregnant with our older son and in the first few months after he was born) and any time I have even the slightest reason to think that that is happening I totally flip out. We had been doing so well with everything, but I get more and more paranoid the closer I get to delivery.
This week has been really bad.
Wow, what you went through with your first husband was terrible! But it's good that you were able to find somebody else and have the pregnancy you should've had. If I was ever in your shoes, I'd think one failed marriage is one too many.
Married 13yrs/together 18
Kids D-7 S-2
[This message edited by momofthree2007 at 6:05 AM, July 6th (Friday)]
This was not my choice, but it will not be my undoing either. ~~yewtree
I am about a month from my c-section now. We set up the crib and went through all the newborn stuff this weekend triggering me big time so was a really crappy long weekend. I know it had to be done and somehow I know I need to accept this baby but I am so not there yet. Anyways hope all are doing.