She had gone NC (without a letter) with OW as well as sending NC letter to OM. OW kept pushing it, though, seemed convinced they had "something special" together so wife finally wrote her a NC email and sent it in front of me yesterday.
Amusing that she didn't tell OM about OW. She did mention OM to OW, though - who still thought they had something "special" - lol, FWW had a husband and an OM, and she felt "special?"
My wife is now being treated for bipolar disorder. Her As happened during her first full-blown manic episode.
Hoping we'll pull through yet. She's sought treatment & is religious about taking her medications....
2 DSs, ages 7 and 5
anyone out there?
Yes, I'm here. I read your post in JFO too- I am so so sorry you had that traumatic experience! Why did she show up? To blow up his spot? To upset you? Do you *know* why? No matter what, it's excruciating! I'm so sorry you have found yourself here, hurtin so much. But I do know that making decisions and small stands for yourself each day will lessen the pain. I promise you the pain will start to subside. Now...has he stopped all contact? Is he willing to work on this? Is this what you want to do?
Are you clear about what you need from him to progress in this relationship? Have you thought about your boundaries, or "must-haves"? Where are you in this whole process?
I just hope that you are OK. I know how overwhelming the pain and sorrow can be. Like some very good friends told me (and I *didn't* want to hear)- it's NOT about you anymore- it's about that baby. What is best for HIM? Is it staying there? Can the relationship be stable and secure? Will you be a happy and giving mother if you stay? No judgments, no 2x4's, just asking some questions you may or may not have been mulling over. But they are important. I hope you have the loving support of your son's father.
Let me know you're OK.
Things have been better for us recently, although I'm having a rough time tonight (which means that it's a rough night for her too). And we have an overnight houseguest.
Nights are often a trigger for me, since so much of her tacky cyber-affair took place at night, with me sitting in the same damn room. So sometimes we'll have a pretty good day, and once it's night time, I start to trigger again.
After all, the most recent D-Day was July 25, I've been through the wringer over and over again.
Seems like all the horrible details are probably out now. FWW is so much more relaxed than she has since before her As started.
I have told her that I am perfectly willing to be supportive and helpful with her bipolar. The way I put it was, "I can give you In Sickness And In Health if you can give me Forsaking All Others." I can't do infidelity again. That's the worst pain I have felt in my 42 years of life.
[This message edited by momofthree2007 at 12:41 AM, August 11th (Saturday)]
one day at a time... I've lost 12 pounds during this pregnancy due to the stress of my marriage.
Having a new bambino in June 2009!
Hormones and sheer misery, I think. Sometimes I cry while I'm holding our 3 week old son and he's asleep on my chest.
FWW is being wonderful, really wonderful. I am just in an emotional abyss. I saw a psychologist this morning and our MC an hour later, as all are worried about my mental health (I have been feeling suicidal). Have an appt with a psychiatrist on Monday.
Somedays my little boys are the only thing that keep me going, literally.
Again, FWW has been nothing but supportive, loving, transparent, remorseful, everything. She's working on her issues, taking her meds religiously, etc. I just can't stop thinking that she doesn't really love me, that she wants R because of the kids and because she feels guilty for causing me so much hellish pain. It just seems to me that if you love someone, truly love them, you would never put them through this kind of misery.
Rambling tonight, and sorry about that. Baby asleep on my chest, which is the only thing that ever makes me feel anything like "good" sometimes.
Hope everyone else is doing okay tonight.
I found out I was pregnant just 2 days after dday. I bounced back and forth between abortion or keeping the baby for the 1st month I knew I was pregnant even thoguh I've been prolife my whole life.
Anyway, I've posted here before, but I just wanted to update you all who helped me a few months ago. I no longer have any resentments against the baby - I was feeling negative things about having the baby after a dday, but things have improved A LOT between WH and I. I know that this birth of our 2nd child will be different than our 1st (b/c of the A) but somehow I am getting thru.
I really hope that after I give birth, I won't become depressed.
I just wanted to ask thsoe of you who have given birth, were you more emotional b/c of the dday and A???
I'm so sorry. you're not alone. After dday1 I felt suicidal and even more so on dday2 and my daughter and my unborn babies (now 5 wks) were what kept me alive. It's gotten better since then and I can promise you that things will get better even though now it doesn't feel like it.
I'm sorry that you're here, but I'm glad you found us. This group has helped me thru many dark times.
Saw psych today & am on new meds. I'm hoping they'll help more. Things have been "good" between FWW & me, although I'm struggling so much every day.
Hope you and your little ones are all doing well - the baby is now 4 weeks old, has grown 3 inches longer but hasn't gained a full pound yet, lol. He's not quite up to the birth weight of our 1st baby.
And his big brother (22 months) adores him - kisses the baby all the time, always "reminds" us not to forget the baby when we go anywhere, etc. Sweet little boys.
My wife had her first A (that I know of) when our baby was about 6 months old. She had a ONS with a guy who was co-house sitting her parent's while they were on a cruise. I had to stay home so I could work, if I had been there with her .... anyway that's a train of thought I dare not pursue.
I thought we were in real R after she confessed to the first A but then it turns out she started another A only 4 months later. This 2nd A went on semi-regularly for 3 solid months before I busted her (first clue being excessive text messages). She lied to me every step of the way on the 2nd on- gaslight all the way. For a full week I thought it was only EA not PA. Then I learned the truth and things have been absolutely motherfucking crazy since then.
We've been separated for what, 3 days now? She is staying with her family. With an agreed two weeks to go before she makes any attempt to come home. I don't know at this point if she will come home or even if I want her to.
So we are splitting time with our now 14-month old girl as best as we can. It's incredibly hard.
The thing that blows my mind is the prospect of being a single parent. For a couple of weeks, sure I can deal, but PERMANENTLY!? It's just so overwhelming if I think about that too much.
I love my little girl beyond all belief.
2nd OM was my former best friend and Best Man.
We didn't have the little baby then, but older son was only 20 months old, and she wouldn't have anything to do with him - he was too much of an interruption to her busy online life!
I have told her I will have FULL custody of our boys - she treated older son like an inconvenience IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS - how incredibly stupid was that?!?!? - while we were visiting them for a week. She was too busy sex-texting POS OM to be bothered with her little boy.
I'd be willing to be a single dad to a toddler & a newborn if I had to. It would be WAY better for them than being with HER.