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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: One Night Stand Support Thread
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, April 6th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hello, everyone.

lily, welcome. sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. have you checked out the healing library yet? you can find the link near the top of the page to the left. i printed joseph's letter from there and gave it to h, and it opened his eyes to why i needed details.

db, i am still waiting. thanks for thinking about me. good luck at mc today. i'll be watching for an update.

((((hugs to all))))


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
ohpuhlease
♀ Member
Member # 13679
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, April 6th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome Iwill and lily...

Please feel free to ask any of us questions, or even on days when you just want to vent.

We're here for you.


Those who know others are intelligent. Those who know themselves are truly wise. - Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching


Posts: 5714 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: *Proudly Canadian...Eh!*
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, April 6th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AARGH!!!!!! SOS

Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, April 6th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what's going on db?


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
ohpuhlease
♀ Member
Member # 13679
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, April 6th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wazup?

I don't like seeing you angry like this ->

[This message edited by ohpuhlease at 9:06 PM, April 6th (Monday)]


Those who know others are intelligent. Those who know themselves are truly wise. - Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching


Posts: 5714 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: *Proudly Canadian...Eh!*
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, April 6th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MC STILL not ready to do the hypnosis. Did regular counseling after H told him he wanted to "go under."

At end of session, he started telling me AGAIN that it might not work ... would I be happy with other methods of H regaining his memory.

I don't give a fig how he remembers.... I just want him to answer those questions...

H spoke up and said, "I think dbjl is thinking she's being talked out of it again."

MC says: "No, no. I'm not trying to talk her out of it. I'll do it if that's what you are both sure you want."

H is standing up for me.

So... he could see H again at noon on Monday or on the 27th. H said... "NO. Next Monday. I will not wait until the 27th. That's to far out."

I know, I know. You, my friends, say another MC is in order. I say... I just can't bear to go through that again!

I think we are so close in the healing to leap forward...

Going to bed... rough day.

edited for clarification

[This message edited by dbjl at 10:05 PM, April 6th (Monday)]


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, April 6th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone. Welcome newbies... sorry you find yourself here, but know that you've found the right place to help you heal regardless of the journey ahead of you.

DB - sorry it got postphoned again - BUMMER.

its - any news?

Iwill - anything better with regards to the trip? It's SO frustrating that we have to SPELL it out - regardless of their work situations, I feel like they should be bending over backwards, sideways and every which way to make us feel comforted - no matter how unreasonable it seems.

Ohplease - thanks for the insight on the fighting... interesting, I find I do that a lot - although not of late. I've really numbed myself to lots of things.

Update - ok weekend with friend. Not sure about her current path, but we had a nice - too quick visit. She tried "the work" on me and it DIDN"T work! Basically you take the thing that you're most angry/upset about and turn it around and I didn't like it at all... even if I were the most psychotic wife on the face of the earth, I want a man (husband) with enough balls to say, sorry we're just not a good match anymore - I want out, instead of sticking his penis into someone else AND THEN CHANGING HIS MIND ABOUT THE MARRIAGE.

I'm at a matter of fact stage. I started talking to H again about moving out for a bit... will know more tonight.

He had a colonoscopy and everything was good (he has ulcerative colitis). We had a pretty decent day (travel 2.5 hours each way to Dr.) so lots of time to talk.

Ok, just wanted to say hello and check in with everyone.

Ohpulease:

1) What are you doing just for *you*?

2) What have you been able to learn about yourself?

1. Not enough. Making changes tho... going to the gym every morning. Going to do some decent cooking this week AND gardening if weather permits. Also, working at my shop this week (spring break from regular job), so will enjoy being at my first *baby*

2. I've confirmed I'm not very forgiving. It's something I want to be able to be - more because I have a daughter and its a trait I will really need, but also, I want to be able to forgive H regardless of where we end up. I've learned I am truly fragile and that was a surprise. I've been a fighter my whole life and I don't have much strength to get through this. I think this might be why I expect so much from H, because maybe I want him to sweep me away from it all by being all that I need him to be. I guess I need to sit and figure out what that is... which is why I think I want him away for 3 weeks, so I have time to think.


Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, April 7th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((dbjl)))) i'm so sorry it got postponed again, but it does sound like your h is determined to make it happen for you.

(((((iwill)))) how's it going with your h's trip?

ohp, thanks for those questions. i think they are good ones for us to ask ourselves.

sadinmidwest, are you still around? i've been thinking about you.

lily, same for you--are you there? been thinking about you.

wh2m, glad you had a good, even if too short, weekend with your friend. please keep us updated about what happens with your h moving out or not. glad his colonoscopy was good, though.

as for me, i'm still waiting on my results. h and i are doing okay. he is wanting to talk alot, which is good, and i listen and respond. he is encouraging me to talk, too, but right now i feel like i am in limbo until i get those results. not sure why i am obsessing about them so much, but i am. even though i am going to stay in r either way, i want to put that behind me.

hope everyone has a great day today!

[This message edited by itspjw at 11:54 AM, April 7th (Tuesday)]


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

good morning everyone... hope the day brings good things to all.

its - have you heard anything yet? I'm hoping no news is good news.


db - any word on the hypnosis reschedule?



Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good morning all.

Hypnosis scheduled for Monday. I wish H would just sit down & write down everything that he does remember. He is so busy & as you can tell, he is doing all the "right" things.

I'm wondering about Its, too.


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hello everyone.

i finally got the results of my blood tests. all clear!

they did say i was positive for the common cold sore type of herpes (not the std type), but i knew that since i get cold sores.

still waiting for pap smear results, which is where they test for hpv. so, still holding my breath a little bit.

db, i'm glad your h got that apt rescheduled. i will be sending positive thoughts and prayers for a good outcome to hypnosis.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
hard_yards
♀ Member
Member # 23549
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi its, congrats on the clear test results, I'm a newbie to SI, hope I do this right. my WH has to have the 3 month test in a couple of weeks it's going to be a long month



I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...

Posts: 1216 | Registered: Apr 2009
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Its! YEA!!! So far, so good... glad to hear it!

Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hard_yards, welcome. and thanks.

sorry you have to be here but glad you found us.

you will find a lot of good advice and support here.

this particular thread is great because all of us are dealing with ons. however, just found out and general get more traffic, so you might want to check those out, too.

((((hugs))))

db, thanks!


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what's the 3 month test?
I haven't had any tests done. I never thought about him not being clean... am I stupid?

Its.. it's been 10 years since your H did that? It can still be there? I thought I was pretty smart about things...

hard_yards... welcome to our sad club... the one know one wants to join. Lots of great support here... be sure & check out the Library

(((hugs)))


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
ohpuhlease
♀ Member
Member # 13679
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, April 8th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone

hard_yards, welcome

its, I'm so happy about your results.

I've been a bit pissy lately so I haven't been reading too much. My H had a few days off and we were busy running around. Very little quality time and for some reason, even though I understand why, it just gets me in a funk.


Those who know others are intelligent. Those who know themselves are truly wise. - Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching


Posts: 5714 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: *Proudly Canadian...Eh!*
hard_yards
♀ Member
Member # 23549
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, April 9th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hi dbjl, it's a test for hiv antibodies. Usually follows as... Post-exposure, if it was very recent, immediate test for baseline results to work on, test for usual STD's after 1 month, then hiv test at 3 months, another at 6 months. If you find out about the event many months after (6 or more) then one batch of tests should be enough, although HPV and GH seems to be "wait and see" approach



I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...

Posts: 1216 | Registered: Apr 2009
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, April 9th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hard_yards... thanks for the response. I guess I am pretty dumb about such.

Hope all works out for you.


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, April 9th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hello everyone.

db, i could have sworn i responded to your question, but i guess i didn't.

i thought i didn't need to at first because it was so long ago, but i learned that there are some stds that can lay dormant without any symptoms for years. also, you can be a carrier and never develop symptoms.

also, cheaters are liars. even though i believe he is telling the truth now, i can't trust him completely, kwim?


have a good day everyone!


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, April 9th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i'm feeling kind of bad...

i started a thread in general "not MY pilot"

one of the posters mentioned the thread to her h, and long story short, it ended up another dday for her.

i know it is not my fault, and it needed to come out, she needed to know, but, crap, i wouldn't have wanted to be part of her pain!


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
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